picket fencer

Maple Bay seems like a small town, so there’s probably a single hospital with a handful of staff and a low turnover rate.

Imagine being the person who usually fills out the birth certificates. It’s late one evening and their shift is almost up. Just a little bit of paperwork to do for some new parents, and then, they can go home.

 So they go ahead and fill out the date, time, and physical characteristics. Then they fill in the parents’ names, which are a little… biblical. 

 And then comes the baby’s name. These white picket fencers say that it’s “Chris Christiansen." 

The hospital attendant instantly hates them. 

Next time around, it’s physically painful to write "Christie Christiansen." 

By "Christian Christiansen,” a little part of them dies. 

And when the Christiansens come through the emergency room doors for kid #4, their first thought is “these fuckers again,” followed by putting in a transfer notice immediately.