pick up line

6

everyone’s reactions to michael’s chat up line [♥]

#ashton is so shocked #luke’s so embarrassed he turns around #and calum’s just like hmm that’s pretty good might use that one

  • Me:I use a simple two-step approach to flirt with girls.
  • Girl at the bar:What are the steps?
  • Me:First, I identify a girl I'm interested in.
  • Girl at the bar:When are you interested in a girl?
  • Me:When she's beautiful and a great conversationalist.
  • Girl at the bar:Of course. And the second step?
  • Me:Second, I let her know that I'm interested.
  • Girl at the bar:Well, that is simple. But how do you let her know that you're interested?
  • Me:I tell her about my two-step approach to flirting.
  • Girl at the bar:I never really watch baseball.
  • Me:Really? I've learned a lot about how to treat girls watching baseball.
  • Girl at the bar:What do you mean?
  • Me:These guys either bat for power or bat for average. The home run guys are flashy, but they aren't as valuable as the guys who hit singles or doubles every other time they're at the plate.
  • Girl at the bar:Okay. But what does that have to do with girls?
  • Me:Would you rather date a guy who did something big for you every few months or a guy that did little things for you every day?
  • Girl at the bar:The guy who did little things.
  • Me:Exactly. But boys grow up being told to hit homers. Buy your girl an occasional diamond, and you can get away with being a loser most days. Baseball taught me it's better to bat for average. I try to be good every day.
Really terrible pick up lines
  1. If I were writing an essay on your beauty, I wouldn’t need to double-space or increase the margin sizes to satisfy the minimum page requirement.
  2.  Somebody needs to call the bomb squad, because you’re the bomb! Are you religious? ‘Cause you’re the answer to all my prayers.
  3.  Hey, my name is Emily but, you can call me tonight. 
  4. I’m no photographer, but I can picture us together.
  5.  If I received a nickel for every time I saw someone as beautiful as you, I’d have five cents.
  6. Could you please step away from the bar? You’re melting all the ice! 
  7. Is your last name Campbell? Cause you’re mm mm good! 
  8. Do you have an eraser? because I can’t get you out of my mind!!!
  9.  Hey, are you my appendix? Because I don’t understand what you do, but this feeling in my stomach makes me want to take you out?
  10.  Are you the new school janitor? Because you just swept me off my feet.
  11. Your hand looks heavy. Let me hold it for you. 
  12. Something is wrong with my cell phone…its just that your numbers not in it It’s a good thing that I have my library card because I am totally checking you out.
  13.  Can I tie your shoe? Because I can’t have you falling for anyone else. 
  14. Even if there wasn’t any gravity on earth, I would still fall for you! 
  15. Know what’s on the menu? Me-n-u.
  16.  I’m learning about important dates in history. Wanna be one of them?
  17. You better call Life Alert, ‘cause I’ve fallen for you and I can’t get up. 
  18. You’re single, I’m single. Coincidence? I think not!
  19.  Hi, I’m writing a term paper on the finer things in life, and I was wondering if I could interview you? 
  20. Girl, if I were a fly, I’d be all over you, because you’re the shit!
  21.  Hey baby, you’ve got something on your butt - my eyes! 
  22. Was that an earthquake or did you just rock my world?
  23.  If you were a steak you would be well done.
  24. Hey… somebody farted. Let’s get out of here.
  25.  If you were a tear in my eye I would not cry for fear of losing you.
  26.  Was you father an alien? Because there’s nothing else like you on Earth! 
  27. Are your parents bakers? Because they sure made you a cutie pie!
  28.  You spend so much time in my mind, I should charge you rent. 
  29. Do I know you? Cause you look just like my next girlfriend. 
  30. I hope you know CPR, cuz you take my breath away!
  31. Can I follow you home? Cause my parents always told me to follow my dreams.
  32.  You look so familiar… didn’t we take a class together? I could’ve sworn we had chemistry. 
  33. Was your dad a boxer? Cause you’re a knockout! 
  34. If you were a vegetable you’d be a cute-cumber.
  35.  Do you work at a coffee shop, because I like you a latte!!!!!!!! 
  36. If you were a booger, I’d pick you first.
  37.  Did you have lucky charms for breakfast? Because you look magically delicious!
  38. Do you have a Band-Aid? Because I just scraped my knee falling for you.
  39.  I wanna live in your socks so I can be with you every step of the way. 
  40. I lost my phone number, can I have yours?
  41.  Does your left eye hurt? Because you’ve been looking right all day. 
  42. Can I have directions? [To where?] To your heart. 
  43. The doctor says I’m lacking Vitamin U. 
  44. Have you been to the doctor recently, it looks like you need vitamin me
  45. Did you just fart because you blew me away!
  46. homosexuality is a disease… and I’ve caught it from u ;)
  47. If you were a fart, I’d hold you in forever
  48. How much does a polar bear weigh? Enough to break the ice, hi I’m Emily.
  49. My love for you is like diarrhea, I just can’t hold it in. 
5

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