piccolo bass

Instruments renamed
  • Piccolo: scream maker
  • Flute: tooty toot
  • Oboe: quack machine
  • English horn: goose simulator
  • Clarinet: blue
  • Bassoon: rolling marbles
  • Saxophone: sexy quacking
  • French horn: star wars?
  • Trumpet: blemp
  • Trombone: fart machine
  • Tuba: big fart machine
  • Violin: crying children
  • Viola: firewood
  • Cello: delta faucet commercial music
  • Bass: bwah
every sectional i've ever been in tag yourself
  • the idiot: forgot their music, looking off of someone else
  • the freshman: constantly playing pep tunes
  • the worrier: "guys can we please practice we have like two weeks"
  • the arts-credit: texting their friends in another class
  • the socialite: texting their friends in another section
  • the leader: manages to get the group focussed, only reason anything gets done. there is never more than one of these
  • the student: ignoring everyone else, practicing by them self. perfect
  • the tumblr: wont shut up, tries to convince everyone they're high
  • the bard: takes every opportunity for Story Time
  • person f: *absent*
The Best Solos
  • Piccolo: Tchaikovsky: Symphony No. 4, Mvmt. 3
  • Flute: Saint-Saens: The Carnival of the Animals, Aviary
  • Oboe: Stravinsky: Pulcinella Suite, Serenata
  • English Horn: Shostakovich: Symphony No. 8, Mvmt. 1
  • E-Flat Clarinet: Shostakovich: Symphony No. 7, Mvmt. 2
  • B-Flat Clarinet: Offenbach: Overture to Orpheus in the Underworld
  • Bass Clarinet: Stravinsky: The Rite of Spring
  • Bassoon: Rimsky-Korsakov: Scheherezade, Mvmt. 2
  • Contrabassoon: Dukas: The Sorcerer's Apprentice
  • French Horn: R. Strauss: Till Eulenspiegels Lustige Streiche
  • Trumpet: Mahler: Symphony No. 5, Mvmt. 1
  • Trombone: R. Strauss: Also Sprach Zarathustra
  • Tuba: Gershwin: An American in Paris
  • Percussion: Hindemith: Symphonic Metamorphosis, Mvmt. 2
  • Violin: Shostakovich: Symphony No. 5, Mvmt. 2
  • Viola: Brahms: Symphony No. 4, Mvmt. 2
  • Cello: Beethoven: Symphony No. 5, Mvmt. 2
  • Double Bass: Saint-Saens: The Carnival of the Animals, L'Elephant
replace every vowel in the orchestra with oob and you get the

oobrchoobstroob

featuring the


vooboobloobn
vooboobloob
cooblloob
dooboobbloob boobss

poobccoobloob
floobtoob
oobbooboob
coobr oobnglooboobs
cloobroobnoobt
boobssooboobn
coobntroobboobssooboobn

hoobrn
troobmpoobt
troobmboobnoob
toobboob

hoobrp
pooboobnoob

toobmpoobnoob
boobss droobm
xyloobphoobnoob
toobboobloobr booblls

and dont forget the soobxoobphoobnoob

pro tip kiddos

take the time now and become so fucking good. practice; constantly, everything. learn everything you can. get upperclassmen, staff, anyone you can, to teach you. learn from your own mistakes, learn from the mistakes of people around you. learn from every source you have at your disposal. get creative. play easy songs you enjoy, because they will motivate you to practice. practice hard exercises that make you want to give up, because they will make you better. take the years you have now and become the best you can be, because regardless of what situation high school lands you in, you will be so good your chances at become better will soar. your peers will look up to you, because you have so much to teach and share. your superiors and staff will look up to you, because you have developed habits and skill and that are invaluable and have so much to give. you will have so many doors open to you, because you took the time to open them before you knew they existed. and finally brother, you will have learned, before your time, the most important lesson of all; what it truly means to be a musician, and that there is still so much more room to grow


to @recorder-jesus, on looking forward to moving up a level

how to make the instruments

Piccolo: start with a flute. now make it smaller.

Flute: get literally anything tube shaped. plug on end. make a bunch of holes; these are where your mouth and fingers will go. the placement is up to you. to play it, blow. blow real hard. if there’s no sound you aren’t using enough air.

Oboe: arrange a marriage between your flute and clarinet. hopefully they understand how important children are to the economy.

Clarinet: start with the flute. now turn it upright and forget about your precious mouth hole. make a hole in the plug bend and stick a bit of wood in it. I actually don’t know how a clarinet works so you’ll have to experiment a bit for a sound. squidward is a good role model.

Bass Clarinet: start with a clarinet. make it bigger.

Trumpet: get a metal tube. bonus if it’s yellow and bendy. the fancy new ones have bits that go up and down. give it a bell. on the opposite end, stick a small funnel (must be metal; I’ve seen lots of colors tho so the type doesn’t seem to matter.) remember how your weird grandma use to do that weird buzzing thing with her lips on your arm when you were little? do that to the funnel. the louder you do the thing the better the sound.
Saxophone (Alto): the clarinet and flute enjoyed their marriage but one of them was unfaithful and a trumpet got in there. the result is a bigger tube with holes but its upright with the wood and oh god it plays jazz.

Saxophone (Tenor): make it bigger

Saxophone (Bari): bigerrrrr

Trombone: exactly like the trumpet but bigger and loose the sticks that go up and down. also the bendy loops aren’t optional apparently and one of them has to slide sorry.

Tuba/Mellophone/Euphonium: combine the trumpet and trombone. get creative. when you’re done, Google these three instruments and pick the one that looks closest to whatever hell you’ve just created. at least these guys sound nice.

Percussion: find something to bang. doesn’t really matter what, as long as you use sticks and protection.. get creative. some fan favorites seem to be: upturned buckets, buckets with thin stuff stretched over the openings, the tubes before you started cutting holes in them, blocks, your friends, and other sticks.

my opinions on the instruments since you guys are asking (reblog and add yours!!1!)

french horn: honestly so pure. i always think of Dvorak’s 9th when i hear them and u g h y e a s

tuba: my bias here should be obvious

euphonium / baritone: honestly they’re so pretty and cute and nice to listen to. basically improved versions of tubas (sorry @me)

flute: pretty but anyone who can play them is clearly dabbling in dark magic

mellophone: i haven’t met one but i really like their sound. its so nice and… not to be redundant but mellow

trumpet: tbh i could listen to trumpets all day. even beginning players sound amazing to me

trombone: i always listen to the trombones when i’m confused on my part, so they’re sort of my anchor. thanks frens 

piccolo: similar to flutes but the notes are even prettier and the players are using even more dark magic

saxophone: honestly saxophones=awesome jazz to me, and i love jazz, so 

clarinet: they sound like the ethereal wood fairy version of flutes (im not sure why i think this). there’s a really good clarinet player at our school so i always think of their solos when clarinets get brought up

oboe: like clarinets but more flute and less wood fairy

bassoon: oboes but stronger

percussion: thank you kind friends for keeping the beat when i am too lazy to count

piano: probably the very purest musical insturment

viola: like with french horns i always think of Dvorak and how awesome y'all’s parts are in his stuff

violin: amazing but also definitely dark magic

cello: i live to listen to cello solos. (also just Dvorak in general, but the two are intertwined)

bass: you’re the string version of me. i respect you

tl;dr I REALLY LIKE CLASSICAL MUSIC

The Stereotypical Musician
  • Band Version, as determined in a half hour discussion in the band room
  • Piccolo: Quirky, lighthearted, wants to be left alone about their instrument
  • Flute: Takes things way too seriously
  • Clarinet: Shy, goofy when you get to know them, watches anime
  • Oboe: Tired
  • Alto Saxophone: Chill, usually an attractive guy
  • Tenor Saxophone: Awkward girl
  • Bari Sax: Doesn't look like they should be playing bari sax
  • Bassoon: Tall and serious girl or a short carefree guy
  • Bass Clarinet: Short and irritable
  • Trumpet: Immature, but fun
  • French Horn: Very few morals, if any
  • Trombone: Very flamboyant in all that they do
  • Tuba/Baritone: fat white guy with pimples
  • Percussionist: either is very serious about their instruments, but doesn't have the best rhythm or not very serious about their instruments but knows what they're doing.
I would like to point out something

band kids during the day: relatively collected, a bit wild and immature but have most of their shit together, can function

band kids at night: SCREAMING RAGEFUL MONSTERS ON CRACK OH MY GOD EVERYTHING IS DESTROYED THEY BLASTED A HOLE THROUGH THE WALL AND HAVE TAKEN THE ORCHESTRA KIDS HOSTAGE TIME AND SPACE DO NOT HEED THEM HOLY FUCK GOD SAVE THE QUEEN, cannot function

youtube

HOLY FRICKIN CRAP. The best middle and high school bands in Japan (wearing ADORABLE uniforms omg) gather for a mega performance of Hibike! Euphonium’s Dream Solister and Soundscape! This must have been insane in real life! :D