“Ronan, stop nO YOU CANNOT BUY 50 MAC AND CHEESE BOXES ADAM IS GOING AWAY FOR 3 DAYS NOT 4 YEARS”
“Excuse me I lost my daughter, Blue can I make an announcement?” “yeah sure” “goodbye you little shit, this is what you get for not letting me buy my Mac & cheese”
“Gansey slow down you’re going to get us killed” “I died twice and came back both times don’t tell me what to do Adam”
“Gansey you’re late”
“A Gansey is never late, nor is he early, he arrives precisely when he means to”
“I slept through my alarm“
Ronan blasting 22 by Taylor swift when he turns 22 and everybody just looks at him like????? Ronan Lynch knows other songs than Irish and metal songs????
Ronan: “Gansey Can you please pass the salt?” “Can you pass your classes?”
“My goal in life is not be the best but inspire people to try their hardest and make better choices in life” “Adam you say that everytime I beat you in UNO” “Oh look at me I’m Blue and I’m the best in UNO and i don’t give my friends any chances to get the sense of acomplishment at least once in their life ” “Adam shut up”
Gansey wishing for Noah back every birthday before blowing out his candles
The gangsey and everybody in 300 Fox way gathering in Persephone’s death anniversary, knitting and baking her favourite pies and cakes.
The way TV shows trauma can lead people to expect every reference to trauma to be a plot point. This can be isolating to people coping with the aftermaths of trauma. Sometimes people treat us as stories rather than as people. Sometimes, instead of listening to us, they put a lot of pressure on us to advance the plot they’re expecting.
On TV, triggers tend to be full audiovisual flashbacks that add something to the story. You see a vivid window into the character’s past, and something changes. On TV, trauma aftermaths are usually fascinating. Real life trauma aftermaths are sometimes interesting, but also tend to be very boring to live with.
On TV, triggers tend to create insight. In real life, they’re often boring intrusions interfering with the things you’d rather be thinking about. Sometimes knowing darn well where they come from doesn’t make them go away. Sometimes it’s more like: Seriously? This again?
On TV, when trauma is mentioned, it’s usually a dramatic plot point that happens in a moment. In real life, trauma aftermaths are a mundane day-to-day reality that people live with. They’re a fact of life — and not necessarily the most important one at all times. People who have experienced trauma do other things too. They’re important, but not the one and only defining characteristic of who someone is. And things that happened stay important even when you’re ok. Recovery is not a reset. Mentioning the past doesn’t necessarily mean you’re in crisis.
On TV, when a character mentions trauma, or gets triggered in front of someone, it’s usually a dramatic moment. It changes their life, or their relationship with another character, or explains their backstory, or something. In real life, being triggered isn’t always a story, and telling isn’t always a turning point. Sometimes it’s just mentioning something that happened to be relevant. Sometimes it’s just a mundane instance of something that happens from time to time.
Most people can’t have a dramatic transformative experience every time it turns out that their trauma matters. Transformative experiences and moments of revelation exist, but they’re not the end all and be all of trauma aftermaths. Life goes on, and other things matter too. And understanding what a reaction means and where it came from doesn’t always make it go away. Sometimes, it takes longer and has more to do with skill-building than introspection. Sometimes it doesn’t go away.
On a day to day level, it’s often better to be matter-of-fact about aftermaths. It can be exhausting when people see you as a story and expect you to advance the plot whenever they notice some effect of trauma. Pressure to perform narratives about healing doesn’t often help people to make their lives better. Effect support involves respecting someone as a complex human, including the boring parts.
The aftermath of trauma is a day-to-day reality. It affects a lot of things, large and small. It can be things like being too tired to focus well in class because nightmares kept waking you up every night this week. TV wants that to be a dramatic moment where the character faces their past and gets better. In real life, it’s often a day where you just do your best to try and learn algebra anyway. Because survivors do things besides be traumatized and think about trauma. Sometimes it’s not a story. Sometimes it’s just getting through another day as well as possible.
A lot of triggers are things like being unable to concentrate on anything interesting because some kinds of background noises make you feel too unsafe to pay attention to anything else. For the zillionth time. Even though you know rationally that they’re not dangerous. Even though you know where they come from, and have processed it over and over. Even if you’ve made a lot of progress in dealing with them, even if they’re no longer bothersome all the time. For most people, recovery involves a lot more than insight. The backstory might be interesting, but being tired and unable to concentrate is boring.
Triggers can also mean having to leave an event and walk home by yourself while other people are having fun, because it turns out that it hurts too much to be around pies and cakes. Or having trouble finding anything interesting to read that isn’t intolerably triggering. Or having trouble interacting with new people because you’re too scared or there are too many minefields. Or being so hypervigilant that it’s hard to focus on anything. No matter how interesting the backstory is, feeling disconnected and missing out on things you wanted to enjoy is usually boring.
When others want to see your trauma as a story, their expectations sometimes expand to fill all available space. Sometimes they seem to want everything to be therapy, or want everything to be about trauma and recovery.
When others want every reference to trauma to be the opening to a transformative experience, it can be really hard to talk about accommodations. For instance, it gets hard to say things like:
“I’m really tired because of nightmares” or
“I would love to go to that event, but I might need to leave because of the ways in which that kind of thing can be triggering” or
“I’m glad I came, but I can’t handle this right now” or
“I’m freaking out now, but I’ll be ok in a few minutes” or
“I need to step out — can you text me when they stop playing this movie?”
It can also be hard to mention relevant experiences. There are a lot of reasons to mention experiences other than wanting to process, eg:
“Actually, I have experience dealing with that agency”
“That’s not what happens when people go to the police, in my experience, what happens when you need to make a police report is…”
“Please keep in mind that this isn’t hypothetical for me, and may not be for others in the room as well.”
Or any number of other things.
When people are expecting a certain kind of story, they sometimes look past the actual person. And when everyone is looking past you in search of a story, it can be very hard to make connections.
It helps to realize that no matter what others think, your story belongs to you. You don’t have to play out other people’s narrative expectations. It’s ok if your story isn’t what others want it to be. It’s ok not to be interesting. It’s ok to have trauma reactions that don’t advance the plot. And there are people who understand that, and even more people who can learn to understand that.
It’s possible to live a good life in the aftermath of trauma. It’s possible to relearn how to be interested in things. It’s possible to build space you can function in, and to build up your ability to function in more spaces. It’s often possible to get over triggers. All of this can take a lot of time and work, and can be a slow process. It doesn’t always make for a good story, and it doesn’t always play out the way others would like it to. And, it’s your own personal private business. Other people’s concern or curiosity does not obligate you to share details.
Survivors and victims have the right to be boring. We have the right to deal with trauma aftermaths in a matter-of-fact way, without indulging other people’s desires for plot twists. We have the right to own our own stories, and to keep things private. We have the right to have things in our lives that are not therapy; we have the right to needed accommodations without detailing what happened and what recovery looks like. Neither traumatic experiences nor trauma aftermaths erase our humanity.
We are not stories, and we have no obligation to advance an expected plot. We are people, and we have the right to be treated as people. Our lives, and our stories, are our own.
I had a really emotionally exhausting week, can I have a fluffy Batfam headcannon?
Of course! And if you need to chat about anything, feel free to message me (I don’t judge, I promise)
-Whenever there’s a really long stakeout or patrol, everyone gets really tired right? So it’s commonplace to find all the kids piled up on a couch, completely passed out. Dick calls it a “cuddle nest” but nobody aside from Steph will call it that. Alfred definitely has a photo of it
-Jason and Duke have learned that they both really enjoy cooking, so they’ve negotiated with Alfred to take over the kitchen for one day ever week or two and they’ll make pies, cakes, various savoury dishes, whatever. And then some of the other kids (Dick, Steph, Tim and Cass usually) will come in and pretend to be fancy food critics even though they have all eaten two week old pizza they found at the back of the fridge
-Bruce has a keepsake chest for all of his kids with all major (and minor) accomplishments in them; there are drawings, sculptures made in elementary school, writings (Jason totally went through an angsty poetry phase in middle school), the first tooth that his kid knocked out of a villain’s mouth. You know, the important stuff.
-Sometimes they all go down to the arcade (Kate occasionally joins them) and challenge each other at DDR or karaoke (Kate is really good at the oldies on the machine, and always tries to get Bruce to sing with her because she remembers them singing to the songs when they were kids. She does not appreciate them being called the oldies because “like hell I’m old. I’m just gracefully aged, like a fine wine.”)
-Damian and Cass have weekly colouring sessions where they grab all the colouring books they can find and spend the whole day colouring and snacking (providing they don’t accidentally get marker anywhere or spill crumbs as per Alfred’s request)
-Every year on Father’s Day, everyone gives Bruce a gift (typically not a great one, seeing as he has eight bajillion ties from many years all with hideous patterns). But they also get Alfred something really heartfelt and thought out that he’s obviously going to love (he always gets a bit flustered when they give him his gift, even when they say that he’s the best grandad they’ve ever had)
Use this list of possible offerings as a guideline, but be creative, follow your intuition, and try to learn the personal preferences of any dragon you work with.
In general having a shrine or altar space dedicated to any spirit or spirits you work with a good idea. If only to have a place to leave offerings. A shrine may take nearly any form. Simply a flat surface on which to place significant objects.
Gems, Crystals, Statues, Etc.:
Once you have a shrine, you need things to decorate it. Make offerings in the forms of statues, drawings, and otherwise images of dragons. Offer crystals, gemstones, jewelry, shiny things and valuables of all kinds. Obviously gold is a favorite.
Obviously all such offerings may be left in place permanently on the shrine.
Dragons tend to think with our stomachs. Food is always a suitable offering. Anything you have will do, but there are always certain favorites. Sharing your own food is a nice gesture. A bit of your meal set aside on a shrine, and/or burned in a fire.
It should be understood when making a food offering to a spirit that they take the psychic energy from the food. It should be later disposed of according to your preference. Most commonly this means taking it outdoors somewhere and leaving it to be taken by scavenging animals, though this method should not be used with chocolate or anything else which may be toxic to wild animals. Some choose to simply eat such offerings themselves, but many find that the taste has changed and become unpleasant.
Meat is a safe bet. We are predators, after all. Cooked or raw doesn’t matter. Red meat especially.
Most dragons also have a sweet tooth. I myself begin the day often with straight cream and raw honey. Dark chocolate and honey is divine. Pies, cakes, cookies. Honey cakes are a very traditional offering to dragons.
Incense is a standby offering for almost all spirits. Notably it is not as commonly offering to chthonic spirits, with specific exception of certain necromantic herbs, but that is another topic.
Any incense is a suitable offering to a dragon, but the irony of dragonsblood incense is enjoyable.
An offering of wine or other drink may also be well received. I do believe I am not alone among dragons in my strong preference for sweet drinks, so consider things like dessert wines and mead.
If you don’t drink alcohol, then tea or coffee, or even fruit juice, is just fine.
Some of the most profound offerings can be what you create yourself. Paintings, poetry, music, dedicated as an offering to a dragon is a precious thing.
This is a bit of a departure from other kinds of offerings, but most dragons have a fondness for stories and information. So talk to them. Share something you know or a story that speaks to you.
Light a candle as an offering. Dedicate oil or wax in a diffuser to a dragon. Play some music, even better if you can play an instrument yourself.
You may also offer to help them with magic, rather than the other way around.
You’d be hard pressed to find any spirit who wouldn’t appreciate the gift simply of your energy. This can be a way to form a very close connection with a spirit.
Once again, as you get to know the individuals you work with, ask about their preferences.
• andrew minyard has cute lil dimples that only neil sometimes get the privilege to see when they’re alone and all soft and happy
• andrew ditches his armbands when he gets his arms tattooed – simple, no colors, just a bunch of flowers on his forearms and then a switchblade tattooed on his bicep
• he buys himself a huge bookcase and makes a fucking awesome rating/organizing system for his books + has the most hilarious and amazing reviews on his goodreads account
• he also picks the habit of cooking when he’s feeling too much (or nothing at all). it’s a form of therapy bee suggested once. andrew bakes pies and cakes and cookies and kevin fucking loses it
• after graduating, andrew plays exy for a few years so he can keep close to his idiot of a boyfriend but after sometime he resigns and works as a social worker — the most badass social worker ever (to say andrew’s middle aged co-workers are scared of him is an understatement; but the kids worship him and it’s all the matters really)
Ingredients: -1/3 cup sugar, plus powdered sugar for dusting -5 ounces bittersweet chocolate, chopped -3 large egg yolks at room temperature -6 large egg whites -Pinch salt
1. Preheat oven to 375 degrees (Fahrenheit). Generously butter a souffle dish and sprinkle with sugar, tapping out excess.
2. Melt chocolate in a metal bowl set over a saucepan of simmering water, stirring occasionally until smooth. Remove bowl from heat and stir in yolks (the batter will stiffen).
3. Beat whites with a pinch of salt in a large bowl with an electric mixer at medium speed until forming soft peaks. Add 1/3 cup sugar, a little at a time, continuing to beat at medium speed, then beat at a high speed until forming stiff peaks. Stir about 1 cup of the whites into the chocolate mixture to lighten, then add mixture to the remaining whites, folding gently and thoroughly.
4. Spoon into souffle dish and run the end of your thumb around the inside edge of the souffle dish (this will remove any sugar particles on the inner edge, allowing the souffle to rise evenly). Bake in middle of oven until puffed and crusted on top, but still giggly in the center, 24 to 30 minutes. Serve immediately, with a light dusting of powdered sugar.
There’s no denying the power that chocolate has in our day-to-day lives. At work, my coworkers have often laughed as I’d turn down candy, but happily accept chocolate with the reminder that “chocolate is not candy, it is its own food group for which we have a separate stomach: the chocolate stomach.” From ice cream to cakes to souffles, just about anything sweet that can be flavored has a variant which includes chocolate, and it’s used in nearly every holiday celebration throughout the year in addition to its frequent appearance in romantic occasions and post-romantic occasions.
Kitchen witchcraft often conjures the image of a witch with a rolling pin, baking pies and cakes. So it should come as no surprise that chocolate - an ingredient frequently used in baking - would have its own place in such delectable witchery. And how could it not? There’s no denying the fact that chocolate can help ease depression and sadness, and that it can brighten anyone who isn’t allergic to it (and in the media, look no further than Harry Potter, in which chocolate is the immediate cure after having a run-in with a dementor - the manifestation of true depression).
Chocolate, of course, doesn’t immediately come as that creamy sweet bar that we can buy at the front of the grocery store or in a gas station. In its purest form, it is the cacao bean. Historically, cacao beans were used as currency in Central and South America in addition to being made into a frothy beverage. The fruit of the cacao tree was also consumed frequently, and when the Spanish arrived, the tree was being cultivated for its fruit and seeds.
Chocolate became a luxury item in Europe afterward, and its popularity (unsurprisingly) grew quite quickly. Today, most cacao is cultivated in West Africa for worldwide consumption.
In terms of magic, cocoa is easily linked to prosperity and luxury. Its use as money in Central and South America adds to this, and its popularity among the nobility both in the Americas and in Europe further reinforces this notion. But I would argue that chocolate goes beyond prosperity and money magic. Of course, there are sweetening spells, in which chocolate can easily be incorporated, as well as love and lust magic which can most definitely involve chocolate. I would say that chocolate can be used in health and healing magic.
There is, of course, the fact that dark chocolate is rich in antioxidants, but I’m specifically referring to spells pertaining to mental health. It’s excellent for calming nerves for those suffering from anxiety, lifting the mood for those suffering from depression (keep in mind that depression isn’t just feeling sad… it’s losing all feeling, to the point where you just can’t feel emotion), and bringing joy to those who need it. Even when feeling physically sick, a cup of hot cocoa can help bring a bit more life to someone who is unwell. (When I had the flu last week, what was my hot beverage request made of my boyfriend? Hot chocolate!)
Incorporating chocolate into magic is fairly easy. Add it to foods such as baked goods and candy, or even to some more savory foods (chocolate goes particularly well with chili’s and pairs excellently with red wines). As an offering to deities, chocolate works well for deities linked with love or strong emotion or wealth.
Play around with ways in which to incorporate chocolate. It doesn’t have to be the candy bar, either. In a spell for self love, consider using cocoa powder as an ingredient. In sweetening spells, powdered hot chocolate can be incorporated easily!
To to cap it all off, chocolate is a food whose origins are linked to royalty, money, and prosperity. It’s grown to become a food linked with love and romance, but can also be very helpful in spells for mental health. Consider different ways in which chocolate impacts your life, and see where it’s magic can take you!
Ronan Lynch totally abused the Aglionby meal plan to smuggle out entire cakes and pies. Gansey was complicit: he flirted with the dining room attendant while Ronan slunk past, five layer coconut cake cunningly hidden in an enormous messenger bag.
Ronan would proudly present his spoils to Adam. If Gansey was there Adam would turn down the offering on Principle. But if it was just he and Ronan they would eat the entire dessert in one sitting, competing to see who could eat the most.
I have chocolate chai whoopie pies appearing on the blog sometime soon 🌞
Soft lightly-spiced chocolate cakes sandwiched together with fluffy vanilla butter cream, and best of all they’re super easy to whip up!! 🍰☕️
Aelin - *sings* On the first day of Christmas my true love sent to me:
a hawk boy in a pine tree.
Aelin - On the second day of Christmas my true love sent to me:
Two Wyrd Keys and a hawk boy in a pine tree.
Aelin - On the third day of Christmas my true love sent to me:
Three daggers, two Wyrd Keys and a hawk boy in a pine tree.
Aelin - On the fourth day of Christmas my true love sent to me:
Four chocolate cakes, three daggers, two Wyrd Keys and a hawk boy in a pine tree.
Aelin - On the fifth day of Christmas my true love sent to me:
Five apple pies, four chocolate cakes, three daggers, two Wyrd Keys and a hawk boy in a pine tree.
Aelin - On the sixth day of Christmas my true love sent to me:
Six fae warriors, five apple pies, four chocolate cakes, three daggers, two Wyrd Keys and a hawk boy in a pine tree.
Aelin - On the seventh day of Christmas my true love sent to me:
Seven lemon lollies, six fae warriors, five apple pies, four chocolate cakes, three daggers, two Wyrd Keys and a hawk boy in a pine tree.
Aelin - On the eight day of Christmas my true love sent to me:
Eight golden dresses, seven lemon lollies, six fae warriors, five apple pies, four chocolate cakes, three daggers, two Wyrd Keys and a hawk boy in a pine tree.
Aelin - On the ninth day of Christmas my true love sent to me:
Nine pairs of shoes, eight golden dresses, seven lemon lollies, six fae warriors, five apple pies, four chocolate cakes, three daggers, two Wyrd Keys and a hawk boy in a pine tree.
Aelin - On the tenth day of Christmas my true love sent to me:
Ten sparkly bracelets, nine pairs of shoes, eight golden dresses, seven lemon lollies, six fae warriors, five apple pies, four chocolate cakes, three daggers, two Wyrd Keys and a hawk boy in a pine tree.
Aelin - On the eleventh day of Christmas my true love sent to me:
Eleven honey biscuits, ten sparkly bracelets, nine pairs of shoes, eight golden dresses, seven lemon lollies, six fae warriors, five apple pies, four chocolate cakes, three daggers, two Wyrd Keys and a hawk boy in a pine tree.
Aelin - On the twelfth day of Christmas my true love sent to me:
Twelve more pet dogs, eleven honey biscuits, ten sparkly bracelets, nine pairs of shoes, eight golden dresses, seven lemon lollies, six fae warriors, five apple pies, four chocolate cakes, three daggers, two Wyrd Keys and a hawk boy in a pine tree.
Aelin - On the thirteenth day of Christmas my true love sent to me:
Thirteen Ironteeth Witches, twelve more pet dogs, eleven honey biscuits, ten sparkly bracelets, nine pairs of shoes, eight golden dresses, seven lemon lollies, six fae warriors, five apple pies, four chocolate cakes, three daggers, two Wyrd Keys and a hawk boy in a pine tree.
I don't think we can afford all those sweets and clothes...