PSA: Nutritionists, for the most part, are absolute fucking quacks.

The term “nutritionist” has absolutely no professional regulation or legal protection in the UK, Canada, Australia and I think most of the States. Basically a person can call themselves a “nutrition expert” with absolutely no training whatsoever. Shit, I could call myself a nutrition expert right the fuck now, except I’d actually have some legitimacy to calling myself that.

So for the most part nutritionists like David Wolfe are absolute quacks. However, the term “dietitian” is both professionally regulated, legally protected and actually involves studying the goddamned field they’re trying to advise people on.

So kids, don’t listen to nutritionists. They may as well be phrenologists. Get your information from people who actually know what the fuck they’re talking about.

The Phrenologist’s Dilemma

CUDDLING without any set of limbs to a most HUM drum treason on the LIPS burrowing in the BREEZE as is typical of SEEDS patterning over a scratched & spurned BED of hair, SCREENING out what is lodged in the minds EYE like a BIG old bowling ball or BLACK hole of rigor mortis, aloft on the dark river taking course into an OBSCENE mystery occupying one idle & unbridled infantile EGO putting the CART before the horse in utero, digging DIRT down at the future-present tense RODEO with melted scones & a foam finger screaming, “We’re number ONE! We’re NUMBER one! We’re number one!” Only the riddles conjure up no LOVE but dust, & porous notes divide thy HUMBLE host with cutting lies while the guise of some young dyad no longer lines up quite as SMILING. What mercurial pluralities lurk off island reeking of cheap BEER, all too seriously casting aspersion on the curse of erstwhile lottery RESULTS.