I woke up this morning remembering that two days ago on February 17th, two years ago; I got a phone call in the morning that I honestly thought that I would never get. It was Ryan telling me he was coming home later that day, and he wanted to see me. Later that day I saw Ryan for the first time in just about a year. It will forever be one of the happiest days of my life. I had missed my best friend so much. 

Two days later after that on February 19th; exactly two years ago Ryan called me when I was very upset over something, I broke down crying to him on the phone and he listened to me talk about my problems. I told him to tell me something to get my mind off of things and he said the last thing I ever thought id hear him say to me. He said ‘I love you’ He told me all these things that I never thought I’d hear told to me and on that day he asked me to be his girlfriend. Now I’m his fiancée and I’m moving in with him in less then two weeks. I want our wedding to be in February the year after next. ♥

Ryan makes me so happy. We’ve been through hell and back together and we always come back out ten times stronger then before. He’s have taught me to never give up on something you are passionate about and that things do get better no matter what. Ryan is my absolute best friend, soulmate and soon to be husband. He’s my reason. He is my everything. I love you baby, forever and always. I am always yours. Happy two year anniversary, my love. ♥

February 21st; 2013

Today I worked. There is nothing to tell about today, other then I am so ready to leave my job. Right now I’m watching Bleach like I’ve been doing these last two nights. I’m addicted again, meh. T.T I don’t mind, I fucking love this show. I need to catch up on The Vampire Diaries too!

Tomorrow I’m hoping to get into the doctor early if there’s a spot open, so I can get my meds refilled. I really really need them. I’m so sick and emotional and unstable without them. Also going to hang out with my friend Kadi tomorrow and see her little girl Layla, I’m excited. (:

I miss Ryan, hopefully I can spend a few days with him next week when I’m not working.

I never thought I would fall in love with you.

But it’s the most amazing and indescribable feeling I’ve felt in a long long time.

You make me remember what it feels like to be happy again.

and for someone who most of her life has been drowning in her depression, self-doubt and even her addictions.. you were able to pull me right out, right back on my feet and keeping me on the right path. Because unlike everyone else, you never gave up on me; not once. Not ever. Loved me from day one and still loving me til this day. 

It all really overwhelms me, today everything has made me emotional but all this really has; but in a really good way. It’s been so long since I’ve cried happy tears. My ex fiance left me not even five months ago and I never thought anyone would wanna risk anything with me. Never thought someone would keep on loving me and tell me I’m worth it.. but you do, every single day. That’s so amazing, god you really are and I never thought I’d feel such strong things again.

You make it impossible not to fall madly in love with you.

I can not wait for the day that I can see you again and wrap my arms around you and just hug you for as long as I damn well please because it has been far to fucking long. and I really can not wait for the day I can tell everyone that I’m yours.

holyshit I fucking miss you, I miss you so much.

Important Post

I wish I didn’t have to write this. I got mixed into something a few days ago, I can’t say what but I’m lucky to still be here even if I’m in trouble. I don’t have a laptop right now to get on here so I’m not gonna be on much for awhile. But the important thing is I’m getting the help I need. I’m gonna be going to therapy soon and getting back on my meds. I’m scared but I know I gotta do this. Hopefully I’ll be able to get back on here soon, I miss talking to you guys. Prayers and good thoughts would be appreciated! I love my followers so much, you guys have helped me a lot. I’m getting better. Stay strong. <3