photo: lord tubbington

Lord Tubbington took one last puff of his cigarette and then put it out in the dirt next to the old tree stump he was resting on. Around the corner of the barn he could see the old red farmhouse and past that a long field of shaggy, unkempt grass. “Perfect for hunting mice” he thought. Of course his next thought was how ridiculous of an idea it was that he would be hunting anything. The truth was, Brittany gave him as much tuna and fondue as he could ever want and his hunting for food days were long gone.

Still, his tummy was starting to grumble. And that made LordTubbington grumble as well. “Stupid wedding.” Of course he didn’t really think that. He was very happy for Brittany and Santana, but he was in a foul mood after being told he couldn’t smoke inside. Also, he was a bit annoyed that Brittany wouldn’t let the wedding be catered by Arby’s as he had suggested.

Through the large open window he could hear everyone at the wedding clapping. With a sigh he crawled down off of the stump and decided to go back in and make nice. But as he turned to head back to the barn door something white caught his eye. With his whiskers twitching and his ears pointed straight forward he quickly located at first one and then several flutters of white just around the corner of the barn near the window. Doves!  “Well,” thought Lord Tubbington, “who says my hunting days are over?” Then he moved quickly and quietly to the barn and peeked around the corner. “I believe it’s lunch time.”

Lord Tubbington instinctively crouched low. He was going to go for the closest dove first and then any others that he could get before they all flew away.  His tail flicked and his rear wiggled as he prepared to spring into action. “Wait for it…wait for it…”

Then Lord Tubbington pounced. At least he tried to. However, he had unexpectedly encountered an empty Mr. Submarine bag that was blowing through the yard just at that moment. The surprised meow and crinkling sound of a 25 pound cat getting tripped up by a paper bag was enough to make all of the doves shoot off in one single flight.