House of Leaves is odd (even frustrating, at times). But the story is compelling and pulls you in. Unreliable narrator, humour at unexpected places, mystery, loose ends, with just the right amount of spooky.. It’s an autumn read through and through.
Took some random selfies before going out.
The weather is sweltering in Hong Kong, I hope good weather in South Korea…
And I want to say, thank you for having been helping and inspiring me, I myself never feel that I am great, indeed I am silly (￣ー￣).. So I am grateful for people who are willing to talk to me or support me.
Yes, I had weight loss surgery. Yes, I have loose skin. And yes, I’m happy with the decision I made for my health and I didn’t “cheat” in any way. It’s not a race nor is it a competition as to “who’s healthier”. I made the best decision for me 😊 SW 303lbs CW 138lbs 5'7"
(I have no idea how much I weighed when this before picture was taken, however I know it was a little after surgery) and btw just a PSA it takes hard work, even with surgery! If I chose to eat badly not only would I feel very sick but I would have stretched out my stomach and not lost the amount I did.
Em and I earned our advanced red belts last night! 😍🇰🇷🥋
First photo was immediately after hence the sweaty red face (did I mention it’s nearly 100F in Seattle right now??) and second is with Grandmaster
I threw my hip out doing the board breaks, a combo of back kick, roundhouse, spinning hook kick so today I’m laying about with an ice pack. (I have hypermobility - it’s not as bad as it sounds. I’ll be back in the dojang on Monday)
We’ll test for dan bo in November (black belt candidates) and then black belt mid-2018!!
Amethyst and citrine are varieties of quartz coloured by iron. They only occur mixed together like this in quantity at one mine in Bolivia, though a few specimens have come out of India and Brazil. The colours are due to the different electronic valencies of iron, related to its oxidation state and are caused by a temperature gradient across the crystal during formation. Amethyst’s purple hue is caused by natural radiation creating colour centre in the crystal and turned into citrine by heat. Most citrine on the market is in fact amethyst that has been roasted in an oven to change the oxidation state of the iron content, and hence the colour.
Let me start by saying: It’s very hard for me to post this. I hate comparing photos of myself now to ones where I was thinner. There’s still a part of my brain that says ‘wait, why would you be proud of yourself for getting fatter?’. I’ve been trying hard to tell that part of my brain to kindly shut the hell up. On the left is me at my absolute thinnest. I am 6′3″, and in that photo I weighed about 145 pounds. On the right is me now, weighing in at 182 pounds. The girl on the left was not healthy, despite the illusions of “fitness” that the angles and lighting would lead you to believe.
She was never happy with herself, eating about 500 calories a day (and some days, none at all), and still crying herself to sleep over an ideal body image that she couldn’t achieve. As someone who suffered from an eating disorder as well as severe insecurities about my height for most of my childhood/teenage years, I’m finally learning to accept myself. I’ve come a long way in the past couple of years. From 500 calorie days and hunching over to avoid attention, to enjoying meals that contain three times my old “daily allowance” and occasionally breaking out a pair of heels. I am healthier, I am happier, and I am free to explore areas of my personality that aren’t tethered to how I look in a swimsuit or how many inches taller I am than everyone I know. I am still a work in progress, and I’d be lying if I said that I don’t still have days, weeks, or even months where I settle back into old habits, but damn, is it nice to just be occasionally. I am appreciating things now that the girl on the left never had the time or energy to appreciate, I am learning to love myself as well as making room to love those around me, and, probably most importantly, I’m finally starting to feel like myself again. I’ll leave you with this: Putting time and effort into loving yourself is not selfish. It is not going to be the easiest thing you’ve ever done, and it sure as hell isn’t going to just clickright away, but it is worth it. You are worth it. And believe me when I say, you deserve a fucking chance to live your life without the burden of hating yourself.
GUYS! It’s so important you track your progress because I promise you, when you make slow progress, you don’t notice it. Once or twice a month, take your measurements and take progress photos. DONT weigh yourself for progress. Seeing that you made progress will motivate you to keep going, whereas if you don’t see any change, you’ll most likely feel like you failed.
Interesting fact: I weigh less in the first photo. That was from the start of 2016, when I had lost weight by eating 1200-1300 calories, and doing zero exercise. Of course I gained it all back and then some.
In the second photo, I weigh a kg more because I have more muscle due to losing fat slowly over time, with a healthy 1500-1700 calorie diet and exercising almost daily. This time, it’s going to be a long term change, not a quick fix.
Annalise Michel, believed to have been possessed by demons from 1968 to her death in 1976, ages sixteen to twenty-three. Raised in a religious family, she was diagnosed with epilepsy in her high school years, but continued studying to become a teacher despite the ineffectiveness of medication for her condition. Over time, she began having an aversion to religious objects and symbolism, and having hallucinations while saying her prayers. In 1975 her parents began to abandon medicine and look to the church to cure their daughter through excorcisms performed by Father Arnold Renz and Pastor Ernst Alt. She claimed to be posessed by Judas, Nero, Hitler, Cain, Lucifer and others, and was reported to have spoken in languages Annalise herself didn’t know while controlled by these spirits. Her symptoms persisted through 67 exorcisms, and she exhibited strange behaviours like urinating on the floor and licking it up, hiding under tables and barking, and eating insects, before dying of malnutrition and dehydration, weighing 68lbs. Photos of her during her ordeal, like the ones above, show her looking sickly and bruised, and in the audio recordings taken in 42 of her exorcisms she can be heard growling and hissing in a voice that is certainly not natural for a girl of her age. Her parents and both of her exorcists were charged with negligent homicide upon her death, as whether truly possessed or not, the court decided she should’ve been cared for better.
I was tagged by @badjujubes. I haven’t looked good in photos since I weighed 49 kilos so have some autoportraits instead.
Two selfies, ten facts about myself.
1) I’m not a fan of sweets, desserts etc. I used to have a huge sweet tooth but apparently it fell out somewhere along the way. 2) My dentists have all had a laugh about how it’s difficult to work in my mouth because it’s so small. 3) I have a useless BA in English language and literature. 4) I have trichotillomania and so my eyebrows are always patchy. 5) I really dislike coffee and black tea and I’m not a fan of energy drinks so I usually get my caffeine zzzzip from Coke Zero. 6) I have a really high voice, but I know how to speak sonorously. I’ve always wanted to take vocal coaching to be even more effective with my speech, but.. money. 7) I have three tomato plants growing on my balcony. One of them is getting as tall as me already. 8) I collect tiny silver salt cellars that are shaped like cauldrons. 9) I drink too much but I don’t want to quit. 19) I recently got a shot in my gums for a dental procedure. It ended up hitting a blood vessel, bruising my entire cheek, and I looked like a blue-green buldog for almost two weeks.