Stuff Typed On My Phone

- I’m taking a PTO day tomorrow bc Matt broke both sides of his ankle and is scheduled for surgery. He broke it at a softball game sliding into base, which happens to be the same way he broke his wrist when we first started dating. Yes, he’s retiring from softball.
- 4 months of recovery from said surgery means my summer plans have changed and I’m not thrilled. We were going to do a ton of traveling (2 domestic and 1 international trip) but that’s out the window, so now he is going to sit on the couch and I’m going to every music fest in Chicago and prob. drink a lot.
- There are some big rumors going around about my company. No one knows anything internally so panic and wild speculation are running rampant. I, on the other hand, am preparing my resume (again) while I put my head down and do my job, praying to all the gods in the universe that I don’t get laid off because unemployment stints three years in a row is not something I can handle.
- I found a new therapist and I’m feeling hopeful about working with her. I just hate the initial session where I tell them my life story and they are always shocked by how many lives I’ve lived and how much I’ve gone through. It’s exhausting to tell even the cliff notes version.
- in the last month my two closest couple friends have broken up and it’s been devastating. They were both serious long-term relationships and I was close friends with both (all?) partners. The aftermath has been draining and sad, full of late night texts and crying and hugs and shaking my head because I don’t know why men are complete assholes. Their trauma has effected me and this, plus some other stuff, means Matt and I aren’t on the most solid ground. It doesn’t mean anything…it’s just shitty and complicated and hard and confusing and I don’t know how to fix it.
- But the peonies are in bloom and Chicago summers are beautiful and perfect and that is one thing I am most grateful for right now.