You sat in the large black chair in front of the large
mirror with bright flashlights lining the perimeters. Taking out your phone,
you pressed the home button and it turned on, revealing a selfie of Jimin
kissing your cheek and you crinkling your nose. You smiled at how cute it was
but then a notification flashed on the screen.
He clutched his cell phone tightly in his palm, he waited to her her smile pop up on the screen, the picture that she had no idea that he even had taken, let alone made his lockscreen. He threw the phone onto the cold, empty bed and walked over to the bathroom, he look a good look at himself, he looked terrible and he knew it; blood shot eyes, messy hair, overgrown beard. He splashed some cold water on his face and sat in the same position he had been for the last 4 hours.
“Mate..you gotta let it go.” Calum leaned up against the doorway with a frown on his face.
“I can’t.” Luke mumbled to himself and grabbed his phone, pressing the home button repeatedly. “Goddamn it.” He shouted and threw the phone in Calum’s direction.
“It’s been a week.” Calum rolled his eyes and flopped down on the bed beside his best friend, his heartbroken best friend.
“She told me to go fuck myself. She hates me. We never fight.” He stared off in space, trying to blink back the tears that were forming in his. She always used to giggle and poke his cheeks when he’d tear up like this during sad movies.
“It was your fault Luke. She didn’t do anything wrong.” Calum gripped Luke’s arm tightly and he flinched away, remembering what happened. The way she looked up at him, her plump pink bottom lip quivering, her chunky fingers wrapped around his tshirt in anger. She’d told him that she loved him, more than a friend. And he responded with making a face like he’d just seen roadkill, and simply the word “oh”. He didn’t mean to react that way, Luke was never good with feelings. He was never good with expressing the way he felt, but she was. And if Luke was being completely honest with himself, he had fallen head over heels for her within the first week of knowing her, 4 years ago now. His dick would twitch when her shirt would ride up, showing off the soft skin that she rarely showed. Drool would sometimes escape the corner of his mouth when he’d accidentally see her changing, the stretch marks covering her thighs, arms, butt, stomach only made her even more beautiful to him. On a normal day, he would do nothing but sit around and think about her, all the boys knew he was far gone for her, and god they wanted Luke not to fuck things up with her.
“You don’t think I know that?” He yelled.
“Christ sakes Luke. Just go to her place! What’s the worst that could happen? There’s no way she could stop loving you in week.”
“You don’t know her like I do.” Luke grumbled, recalling the scattered boyfriends she’d had over the years. How she could cut the chord with them in about a day, almost like she’d never cared at all. Luke’s stomach felt unsettled, he couldn’t bear the though of going the rest of his life without her. The way she’d cuddle up into his chest, he’d always slide his hand between her thick thighs to ‘keep his hands warm’, she thought it was funny, it turned on Luke to no end. He stood up abruptly and slid his shoes on, grabbing his keys and phone off of the floor and running out the front door to the car, which still had the fruity smell of her lingering from the passengers seat. He sped down the street, he could probably drive to her apartment with his eyes closed by this point in his life. He was praying she would answer the door, he wanted to wrap his arms around her, he wanted to kiss her. God did he want to kiss her. He parked in visitors and saw her car parked in the normal spot, some old lady let him in the front door so he didn’t even get the rejection of buzzing. He could feel his heart pounding in his chest, his hand hovering over the door, fist ready to knock. He took a deep breath and knocked, his entire body freezing up, he’d never told anyone that he was inlove with them before. He’d never been inlove with anyone else but her. She swung the door open, she was in his old Weezer tshirt with nothing but boy short underwear underneath. He swallowed the saliva in his throat and opened his mouth to speak, she slammed the door in his face.
“What the fuck do you think you’re doing here Luke?” She shouted through the door.
“Please Y/N..open the door..” He mumbled against the hard wood.
“I’m not really up for being completely humiliated today thank you.” She said and Luke’s heart slowed down and started to hurt at the fact that he had hurt her. She was tough, rarely ever cried, never reacted to the things people would say about her.
“Remember when we first met? Remember when you called me a lanky fuckhead?” He heard her stifle a giggle from behind the door. “We’ve come a long ass way since then. You’ve been there for me during the best and worst times of my life, you’re crazy if you think I’m going to let you go this easy.” He breathed out and the door flew open. She was internally fighting every urge to kiss him, he could see it in her eyes.
“Say it.” She crossed her arms over her chest. “Or I’ll shut the door in 3-2-”
“I’m inlove with you.” He spat out and it felt like a 500 pound weight was lifted off of his shoulders. “I love your curves and all your edges..all your perfect imperfections-” She laughed and punched his shoulder.
“Stop quoting John Legend lyrics you idiot, can’t you just be serious for one second?” She pulled him in by the collar of the shirt and wrapped her arms around him, digging her face into his chest. “I missed you…so much. It was so weird..not talking to you, it killed me. You look like shit by the way.” She smiled and looked up at him, she really didn’t mean it. Because to her, Luke always looked like the love of her life. Luke kissed the top of her head. “The beard is pretty hot though..”
“Oh yeah?” Luke raised his eyebrow and looked down at her, the adorable blush spreading across her cheeks.
“Yeah.” She stuck her tongue out and he brushed the loose hair falling down in front of her face behind her ear.
“Fuck you’re so beautiful.” He mumbled before cupping her cheek and placing a hard kiss on her lips. He’d been waiting so long to kiss her, and now that he finally had, he just wanted to kiss her for the rest of his life. He rested his forehead on hers and she smirked. “God, your lips are perfect. And your cute little nose. And your eyes, I could just stare into them forever I swear to god.”
“Lukeeee.” She whined and giggled. “Stop being all cheezy and weird now. I don’t want this to change everything..” She frowned and Luke shook his head.
“Nothing is going to change, except for the fact that I get to finally kiss you and tell you all the dirty things I want to do with you.” He licked his lips and all the hair on the back of her neck stood up.
“You love me.”
“Rude!” Luke pulled her into a crushing hug and kissed her face all over, he swore to god he’d never been this happy in his entire life.
Eyes adverted from his paper, the blonde glanced at his phone, which was buzzing in the midst of the silence. Sirus saw the name “Zach” over top of the green and red buttons of the screen and smirked. He picked up the phone and answered, pushing his anxiety down with a quiet breath. “Hey hoe.” He looked off in the distance of his home, the phone pressed up to his ear. “What’s up?” He leaned back and met eyes with his cat as he waited for the other to respond.
traded some zines with Brian over at Phone Home Press in michigan. he sent the mini, Warren Avenue, which i really liked because it’s a zine about a specific place. but this photo (^) was my favorite of everything tho for some reason - it’s from his excellent Exhausted Structures photo zine. i dunno, this tired, beat-down fence post. exhausted structures. it stuck with me. generally, creating a context for something ordinary or otherwise unnoticed to speak its mind is what i find interesting about photography…and poetry too.
check out Phone Home Press if you get a chance, and keep an eye out for new stuff coming down with the spring/summer thaw
I forget to post this here the other day, but my new zine is printed! I’ll announce the title, cover, etc. maybe tomorrow but just know it does exist! I’m especially excited about this one because it’s my first full color zine. Now comes the awesome part: trimming, folding, and stapling.
Thank you so much to everyone who came out to the daggerfingers x phonehomepress pop up art show last night. The view, crowd, beer & vibes were so great. Looking forward to doing more things like this in the future✨
Description: Dan is sleeping in his bed, when he’s suddenly woken up by a loud noise. When he checks his phone, he discovers that it’s three in the morning. He goes to investigate the sound, and he never expects what happens next.
Warnings: Mild language
Dan was sleeping peacefully in his bed when he was suddenly woken up by a loud crash coming from somewhere in the flat. He jerked up in his bed
and reached for his phone, pressing the home button. The screen
illuminated and he felt as if he was looking into the sun itself,
blinking a couple of times before glancing at the clock.
“Three fucking A.M.? Yeah, okay, no thanks. I’m going back to sleep. I
probably just imagined whatever that was anyway.” He mumbled to himself
as he snuggled back into his black duvet and warm mattress.
He was just drifting back to sleep when he heard another sound, this
time seeming like it was coming from the kitchen. He sat back up again,
willing himself not to go back to sleep, and tried to gather the
strength to get up and investigate. He took a deep breath and sighed,
wiping the hair from his fringe away from his forehead as he swung his
legs over the side of the bed.
Once he finally was able to get out of bed, he grabbed his stuffed
Totoro plushy and held it over his shoulder like a bat, walking down to
the kitchen. Once he got there, he raised the plushie higher over his
head and turned on the light, screaming when he saw someone in the
kitchen, and began hitting them with Totoro.
“OW! OW! DAN STOP! DAN WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING?!” Dan stopped hitting the intruder and lowered the plushie.
“Phil? What the hell are you doing?” He asked, setting Totoro down on the table.
“Um, nothing…” Phil trailed off. It was then that Dan noticed Phil’s hands behind his back and became suspicious.
“Phil, what’s behind your back?” He questioned.
“It’s a um, a baby… Penguin?” It sounded more like a question than a statement.
“Phil…” Dan warned, looking down at him.
Phil hung his head in shame and pulled out the cereal box, presenting it to Dan.
“Are you eating my cereal?” Dan raised his eyebrow at Phil, “What is wrong with you?”
“I know! I have a problem!” Phil whined, dropping his hands.
Dan shook his head, laughing a little bit, before grabbing his cereal box from Phil’s hand and sitting on the floor.
“Wh-what are you doing?” Phil asked, watching as Dan sat down.
“Well I’m already out of bed, and now I’m hungry and the table is too
far away, so I’m sitting on the floor.” Dan replied, taking a handful of
cereal and shoving it in his mouth.
“Aren’t you gonna join me?” He asked, patting the floor in front of him.
Phil shook his head, a little bewildered, but sat down anyways, taking a
handful of cereal from the box that Dan was offering him.
“So why are you up?” Dan asked through a mouthful of cereal.
“I don’t know, I just couldn’t really sleep and then I started to get a little hungry, so I came out here…”
Dan nodded, munching thoughtfully on his cereal, before saying “Any particular reason?”
Phil shrugged his shoulders before speaking, “Just… Thinking I guess…”
Dan squinted his eyes at Phil, a bit worried. He knew that when Phil
said he was awake thinking, especially this early in the morning, it
really meant that he just needed to talk to someone. And, Dan being his
flat mate, it usually meant just talking to Dan.
“Are you okay? Do you need to talk?”
Phil shook his head slightly, “You’re actually the one person I can’t talk to about this…”
Now Dan was really confused, he always thought that Phil could talk to him about anything.
“Um, okay? Do you maybe want to talk about something else to get your
mind off of it?” Dan figured that if Phil didn’t want to talk about it,
Dan wouldn’t force him to, and he might as well help get his mind off of
“That might be nice…” Phil replied, grabbing another handful of cereal.
“So…” Dan began, not exactly sure where to start, “Spiders, huh?” Dan asked awkwardly.
“Um, what?” Phil asked, extremely confused.
“I honestly don’t know, it was the first thing that popped into my head…” Dan admitted, chuckling slightly.
Phil laughed and shook his head again, “I don’t know what you’re on, but I’ll have what you’re having.”
“Hey!” Dan said, pretending to be offended, before thinking again and
saying “I don’t know… I could tell you a bunch of random facts to help
try to distract you…” Dan offered.
“Yeah? Alright, you can try.” Phil shrugged, not really thinking it would work
“Well for starters, did you know that 95% of the universe is made up of
something called dark matter and we can’t see it and we don’t know what
it is?” Dan began, remembering one of the things that set off his last
“Wow, really?” Phil breathed, looking up at the ceiling, as if he could see the universe that Dan was talking about through it.
Dan smiled, knowing that he had distracted Phil from whatever was bothering him, even if just for a moment.
“Also, scientists have discovered a galaxy that technically shouldn’t exist.” Dan said as soon as Phil looked back down at him.
“Alright, it’s working.” Phil laughed, looking at the ground.
Dan smiled and grabbed another handful of cereal.
“Hey Dan?” Phil asked, still looking at the ground. His hands were
shaking slightly with nerves, and he had to take deep breaths to calm
“Yeah?” Dan questioned before shoving the handful of cereal into his mouth.
Phil looked up, saying “Can I ask you a question?” And waiting to go on until Dan nodded.
“Okay, so I have this friend, right? And he um… He has a crush on his
friend, and doesn’t quite know if he should tell his friend or not… I
mean on one hand, he doesn’t want to keep it a secret, in case his
friend feels the same way, but on then on the other hand, he doesn’t
want to ruin their friendship… What do you think he should do?”
Dan thought for a moment, trying to quench the little ray of hope he
felt. Phil was obviously not talking about them. Probably Chris and PJ,
or maybe Phil had a crush on another friend. Yeah, that’s probably it…
He swallowed the lump in his throat at the thought, and decided to
answer the best he could. “Honestly, I think your friend should tell
their friend. If it ruins their friendship, it probably wasn’t a very
strong friendship in the first place.”
Phil nodded, mulling over what Dan said, before saying “Yeah… Yeah, you’re probably right…”
Dan smiled tightly before standing up and wiping his hands on his thighs.
“So, I should, uh, probably get to bed…” He said before turning out of the kitchen.
Phil though for a moment, trying to gather up courage.
“Wait, Dan!” He yelled after him, before he lost his nerve.
Dan turned around and walked back into the kitchen, “Yeah Phil?” He asked, still trying not to get his hopes up.
“That friend of mine is actually… Well, it’s me, and… The person I
like is… I mean… I kinda have a crush on you, and I’m sorry if this
makes things weird, but I’m just following you’re advice, and I think
our friendship is strong enough that if you don’t feel the same way then
I can try to get over it, and we can move past it,” he was rambling
now, looking down at the ground.
“Phil…” Dan began.
“I know, I’m sorry, I just…”
Because Phil was looking down at the ground, it meant that he didn’t see
the giant grin on Dan’s face. That is, until Dan walked closer to Phil,
putting his hand on Phil’s neck so he would look up at him.
“Phil, I… I like you too.” He said, looking Phil straight in the eye.
Phil grinned, “You do? Are you sure? You don’t have to say that just because of me…”
“Do I need to prove it to you?” Dan asked, before leaning down and pressing his lips softly against Phil’s.
He pulled away after a couple of seconds, and Phil stood there
dumbstruck until he finally breathed out “Yeah, that um… That’s very
Dan grinned back at Phil, and wrapped his arms around Phil, who was unable to stop grinning, before hugging Dan back.
“Umm, Dan?” Phil started, suddenly remembering something.
“Yeah?” Dan asked, voice muffled by Phil’s shoulder.
“Not to ruin the moment or anything, but what exactly would a Totoro plushie do against an intruder?”
Dan’s face turned red, “Oh shut up…” He said, before burying his face into Phil’s neck.
Phil laughed at Dan’s reaction and wrapped his arms tighter around him,
for the first time happy that Dan had caught him eating his dry cereal.