Dean’s been watching him in the rear view mirror for the last two hundred miles. Watched him shift and twist. Shake his leg. Drum his fingers on his knee so forcefully that even Sam is starting to notice. Cas has been like this for the past week, even since he got his grace back, and at first Dean assumed that was all it was. The energy running through his body again, his own energy. Cas hasn’t been at full power for longer than Dean cares to remember so having it again has got to be a shock to the system… especially after his recent stint with humanity. But that’s all it is, Dean tells himself. It has to be. Cas will get past it and be himself again before long. He always does.
Except for this time. Not even close.
With each day and each mile that passes, Cas gets worse. More restless and irritable. More frustrated. He’s going to vibrate out of the damn car if something doesn’t change, and soon.
“I … I didn’t know Benjamin spent that much time on earth, much less that he had a home here.”
Something about the way Cas said the word home, with so much tender reverence in his voice, made Dean uncomfortable. Ishim’s voice rang in the back of his mind, still mocking him from beyond the veil of death. “No wings, no home, just a ratty old coat and two poorly trained monkeys.” He felt that he should answer somehow, but he didn’t know how, so he stuck to solving the situation at hand.
“Listen. You really don’t need to come with. I know this has been hard on you. We’ll handle it and …”
“No, I’ll come with you. Benjamin was my friend for millennia and now …,” Cas sighed deeply and his whole body seemed to deflate. “now I barely seem to have known him. I owe it to him to at least take care of his affairs after his death.”
Cas slipped off his trenchcoat, let it fall to the floor. He was made of tiredness. There was a sadness caught in his throat like a cobweb, and he couldn’t cough it away; and there was a sprain of doubt across his chest that only seemed to twist a little further out of shape with every move he made, every word he said. __________________________________________________________ Cas know that no one will come and be with him tonight, even though he’s never felt so lost in his life. That’s when he hears a knock at the door, and hears the voice of the person he most wanted, and least expected.
Sam and Dean go on a search for their friend after they realize he’s been missing for two months. When they find Cas in a deep sleep due to a djinn’s poison, Sam slips into his subconscious to help get him out. Unfortunately saving him comes with a few ramifications that nobody knows how to handle.
This Cas looked as lost and broken as he felt, the scruffy beard and messy hair reminding him too much of the Cas in 2014, drugged up and drinking to block everything out. Dean never wanted to see Cas like that, he couldn’t take the twisting of his gut at the thought. But even when Cas was like that, so screwed up and lost, he still chose Dean.
is there anyone out
there who might want to help me out and beta the fanfic I’m currently writing?
A short description,
so you’ll know what you’d sign up for:
It’s a case fic and a
season 9 AU. Cas is newly human and staying at the bunker (Gadreel never possessed
Sam). They get wind of a young girl going missing in a town and they also find
reports about crops turning to ashes in its vicinity. They drive out to investigate
and soon find out that many more people have been going missing and that some
of them have been missing for years. They all left their beds in the middle of
the night, seemingly out of their own volition, and never came back. On top of
that, Cas is still missing his old home and can’t sleep well, strange dreams
either keeping him up at night, or not letting him wake up in the morning.
I don’t want to give
away too much of the plot, but the case they encounter is heavily based on a German
folk tale and the ending will feature some very heavy destiel, as well as some
very spooky and sometimes gory elements, since the folk tale is also kind of a
mixture between a horror and a love story.
I mainly need a beta
reader because I’m not a native English speaker (I’m from Germany) and I
sometimes have trouble with having conversation sound natural instead of stiff.
(Writing dean is honestly so difficult. Cas on the other hand is fine :P) Also,
if you could point out some general stuff like typos or plot holes I might have
overlooked, that would be great, too.
I currently plan for
the fic to have around 12 chapters. I can’t tell how many words I’ll end up
writing, but I’d say at least 20k, probably more.
Disenchanted. That was a good word to describe her right now, and it felt…selfish. And wrong. She had been blessed with so much and yet on some days it didn’t feel like any of it (aside from her family) really mattered.
Oh, boohoo, the heiress to a worldwide marketing conglomerate isn’t happy. She could hear the media roll its collective group of all-seeing eyes – which was exactly why she never expressed anything but optimism, professionalism, and a pretty face. Of course, they criticize me even then.
But wealth or no – humans were humans! At their core, all they craved was positive interpersonal relations. Lenora’s lot in life was to be the social butterfly in place of her hate-the-world father, but she never really hit it off with anyone at those elegant parties and advantageous conferences. Even when she traveled abroad to wine and dine with business partners, it was just so…practiced and shallow. It was difficult to like people even when they were genuinely interested in her and not her father’s money. It was getting to be kind of a little more than very alarming.
I don’t want to become like him. Which is why she downloaded the stupid OkLoveBird app again. She hadn’t used it since college and it never got her anything but a few first dates with awkward and disappointing dead-ends. But that had been… oh god, ten years ago? Surely the men in her current dating pool would be better now, right?
She reactivated her account, tweaked her bio a little, and updated her photos. Fortunately, college-girl her and present-girl her hadn’t changed too much in terms of taste in men. She just wanted, you know, an actual adult man. Funny how rare those things were. Even in her current circles.
The issue with her dating nowadays, however, was how recognizable she was. No she wasn’t a celebrity, but the media loved to check in on heiresses and try to catch them with their legs open – coming out of a limo or otherwise. It didn’t help, either, that she had become the public face of SnapShine. She had to be…careful and choosy with the men she looked at; she didn’t want them to know who she was unless things progressed into a more serious relationship.
The downside of that, however, was that if he was too far from the expected ‘heiress husband material’ vein, there’d be backlash either way.
Well, as long as I don’t date a homeless man…
She swiped through a couple of potential matches and ended up going through a rapidfire left-frenzy. God, this was why she hated these apps. They brought out the most superficial in everyone! Mostly because men didn’t know how to take proper pictures. She refused to look at anyone whose default picture had them: not showing their face, wearing huge sunglasses, pointing at their stupid fucking ab muscles, holding a fish, standing with their arms around other women, standing among a group of guys, holding a gun… It really helped narrow things down – to nothing.
Her finger paused, however, over the screenname PhoenixFeather. A silly screenname, but not the worst (in the half hour since she had reactivated her profile, she had already recieved messages from ‘bigdaddy923′ and ‘slugsnot’ and ‘cuckmehard’ so…), and he had a really nice smile…
Okay. I’ll bite. She tapped to open his profile and gave another scroll through his pictures. Consistently attractive? Whaaaat? Okay, what was the catch? Another swipe and she was reading his profile.
Huh. The more she read, the more her smile grew. Not just because he seemed a sweet guy, but because the idea of her dating a tattoo artist with a daughter would probably make her father’s brow furrow very, very deeply.
Which only made him more attractive, to be honest.
She paused, though, and took a minute to consider his aforementioned daughter. In the event that things did become serious, would she realistically be able to embrace that motherly role to a little girl? Her gaze drifted across her darkened bedroom, sticking on the photographs of her and her younger sister, as well as a Thank-You card she’d recieved for her donation to the local school district. The only insecurities she might have felt regarding a man with a child would be where his relationship with his ex-spouse stood, but… she was adopted.
She was thirty. The number of guys in her dating pool with a kid was only going to up from here.
So why the hell not? Finally feeling (tentatively) excited, she swiped right on his profile and hit ‘Yes’ on the option to message him first.
Okay. Let’s get this right.
Oh, I totally feel you on the whole ‘roped into trying this’ thing. That’s how I first found out about this app way back in college. Friends can be great motivators, can’t they? 😉 I think it’s really sweet how much emphasis you put on your daughter in your profile. Not many guys are brave enough to be so forthcoming, on here or otherwise. It’s an admirable trait and I wouldn’t mind getting to know more about you. Maybe over drinks? I know a few artsy cafes you might like if you don’t mind traveling uptown. Take a look at my profile and let me know if you feel the same. If not, it’s all good and I wish you luck! 💕
She rewrote it six times. Even now, she wasn’t that pleased with it, and hesitated for a solid minute before hitting send and then immediately closing out the application on her phone.
God, it was always so stressful initiating first contact…