i still can’t believe snape mocked hermione’s teeth? first off as a teacher that is completely disrespectful and just bc he can’t come to terms with lily’s death and his unrequited love (read: cannot get over a crush) does not mean he has the right to treat students in such a way. also, dont tell me lily didn’t ever come over to him, crying bc an older student had mocked her red hair and green eyes, and telling her that the wizarding world didnt need freaks like her. petunia calls her a freak for being magic, the blood purists view her as a freak and demand that all mudbloods are dirty and lowly because of their heritage.
how could he. if he loved lily so much, how could he have treated all of his students so cruelly? we all know that neville wasnt the only one scared of him.
he is not a hero. being brave and resilient doesnt excuse people from their actions. i dont deny he’s done some great things, but i can never forgive him.
You woke up, wrapped in your favorite werewolf’s arms. Slowly, as to not wake him, you moved to face him. His snores were all that greeted you. Godric, sometimes you could swear that you felt the house shake.
You quietly enjoyed how calm Remus looked in his sleep. He wasn’t stressed or tired anymore. There was a hint of his mischievous youth that managed to pepper his features.
Still, this simple pleasure always had a short time frame. You nuzzled against him, noticing the small smile that he tried to suppress. With a grin you pressed kisses to the scar that ran across his lips.
He chuckled quietly, the arm he had around your waist pulled you closer. “That’s a lovely way to wake up,” he spoke, his voice thick with sleep.
“You have a lovely face to wake up to,” you shot back playfully. He ticked your sides, loving the sound of your laughter in the morning. “Stop it!” You giggled, pushing away from him.
You were struggling to catch your breath before he relented. “It wasn’t that bad,” he said before catching your lips in a quick kiss.
It was a quick compliance for you. The kiss was a slow burn that soon became a forest fire. It would have lasted for ages. That is if Remus’s stomach hadn’t growled loudly which caused you to pull away with laughter.
“Is that how you sweet talk me into making you breakfast?” You asked, amused.
“Depends. What are my chances of getting chocolate pancakes?”
“Dunno, you gotta make it worth my while.”
He thought for a second, “What if I promise to read you anything you wanted?”
“Seal the deal with a kiss, Lupin.”
He accepted the invitation happily. You moved away from him, attempting to start your mission of pancakes. He groaned in disappointment, torn between food and you.
“Take a shower, I’ll be done by the time you finished,” you promised, stretching.
“Are you sure? I can help you.”
“I can handle it. Enjoy your day off, love.”
You turned on your heel and made you way over to the kitchen. Flipping on the radio, you started to make breakfast. Every so often you would stop to have a little dance party. Soon there were two fresh stacks of chocolate pancakes on the counter.
“Those look delicious,” Remus said hugging you from behind.
“I think they’d taste better if you fed them to me,” he winked down at you, “Care to make that happen?”
You rolled your eyes, a smile playing on your lips, “Fine. Only because I think you’re kinda cute.”
He helped you sit on the counter, opening his mouth expectantly. You grabbed his plate and started to feed him. The feeling of forgetting something wouldn’t shake itself. It was important, it had to be. Nothing clicked until you looked into Remus’s eyes for a minute.
“It’s your birthday!” You looked at him shocked, “Why didn’t you tell me!”
He chuckled, “It wasn’t important.”
“Yes, it is,” you set his plate back on the counter, “It’s my favorite person’s day.” You hugged him close, kissing everywhere you could reach. “Happy birthday, Remus!”
“Thank you, sweetheart.” He pressed a kiss to your lips.
You let him kiss him like you as much as he wanted. When he finally pulled away, you jumped off the counter. “I can’t believe I forgot,” you grabbed his hand and started leading the way, “I’ve prepared since last month! And the day of- I’m a sucky person.”
When you got to the bed room you dropped to your knees. “I, uh, sweetheart, you don’t have to do that.”
“Do what?” You asked confused. It took a second to realize the situation. “Remus!” You hit his thigh, “I’m getting your gift.” A search under the bed later, you came back up with three packages.
“Thank you,” he smiled, sitting on the bed and pulling you onto his lap.
The first present had two sweaters, one was a complete new one and the other was the same one he had on sans the bleach stain you got on it. The next gift was books that he had all but drooled over the last time you had gone to the store. Finally, was the magical gift you had sent Sirius out for, you weren’t exactly sure what it did. All you knew is Sirius knew for certain Moony would love it.
“I love it all,” he pressed a kiss to your cheek, “Honestly love, you didn’t have to do all this.”
“It’s nothing major,” you shrugged, “I wanted to make you happy. Sorry, I forgot.”
“And yet you still made my day perfect.”
“The day just started Remus.”
“And I know it will be great because you’re apart of it.”
I feel like Alice Longbottom loved her short hair and Augusta insisted that a pixie cut wouldn’t look good with a wedding dress but Alice never listened. When they were admitted to St. Mungo’s, Alice’s hair grew, no one touched it. What difference did it make if it was long or short, she wouldn’t realise. Around the time Neville was old enough to remember his visits to his parents, Augusta went a day before and talked to Alice, softly, sincerely and she asked her if she could cut her hair. Alice didn’t reply but didn’t fight either.
“I know this is how you would have wanted Neville to see you,” she said as she softly brushed Alice’s hair to the side and she started cutting, Alice stared in the distance, aware of her hair falling but giving no reaction whatsoever.
After Augusta was done, she cleaned room with a lazy move of her hand and after she kissed Frank on his pale forehead, she softly brushed her hand on Alice’s shoulder.
“Alice dear, see you tomorrow,” she said with a smile and she could swear she saw Alice’s lip curl up as if she wanted to smile but Augusta shook her head and left because it was impossible.
But for one moment, Augusta felt like it was the day her son got married and the white dress on Alice wasn’t a piece of cloth given by the hospital but it was a wedding dress, she felt her eyes burn but she pushed her shoulders back, lifted her chin up and walked out of the closed ward hoping for once, Alice felt somehow that she was more than enough and pixie cut looked good on her.
Augusta laughed faintly at the thought of how Alice would have snickered if she heard Augusta say pixie cut suited her and slid into the closest Floo.
Pitch. Black. Not even a spec of hope in the circling smoke in the small sphere.
As they are walking down the long, never-ending corridors of Department of Mysteries, they see colours. They see very small ones which are white, and some are tainted with a little bit of black while some of them have a blue tint to it. Luna gasps with joy at the sight of a lilac one, but she keeps on walking with the rest.
Neville stops in front of one of the rows and slowly says, “Mate, I think this is the one.” and something breaks in Harry because unlike every sphere they have seen this one doesn’t shine, it is black, even blacker than the robes they are wearing.
He holds his breath as he reaches for it and he grabs it, wrapping his hands around it tightly hoping that it was just because of the light. He looks down at it only to find out that the prophecy about his life was black.
“It doesn’t look bright, does it?” he jokes nervously, trying to break the pitiful silence of his friends. Just when he starts feeling the familiar anger rise up in him, they hear the Death Eaters come in and soon after a fight breaks out.
They try so hard to protect it but it’s inevitable and as the prophecy starts to fall, Harry swears he saw a flicker of white in it but doesn’t tell anyone. After, as Dumbledore shows him what Sybill Trelawney predicted that day in Hog’s Head, Harry is sure what he saw was just an illusion for neither can live while the other survives.
Dumbledore never thought the fall from the Astronomy Tower would have taken so long and he thought he knew everything about the castle he lived in for the most part of his life. This was his choice, rarely anything happened to Albus that wasn’t his choice, he somehow always had an upper hand on life, calculating every move meticulously and making sure no one knew how prepared for anything the life may throw his way.
When his body hit the floor he opened his eyes slowly, checking his surroundings to figure out where he might have ended up at. This wasn’t some illusion, he was dead, this wasn’t Hogwarts but somewhere completely different where he could hear people mumbling. He straightened himself up and got up with the agility of a man his age normally wouldn’t have.
“YOU,” shouted a woman in the distance, her hair was still glowing like fire and she was walking to him fast with two man behind him trying to hold her back. “I TRUSTED YOU”
“Lily, please,” pleaded Albus. “Can we talk about this calmly?”
“Calmly??” yelled Lily, her green eyes were drowning in the tears trying to leave. “Are you even aware of the burden you have loaded on Severus? Let alone my son who is just a child.”
“Accepted?” she interrupted throwing her hands up in disbelief. “He said he didn’t want to do this and you made him kill you, in front of Harry.”
She was shaking so much, a beautiful disaster almost, her eyes creating new wounds on Albus’ already fragile skin and making him wish he had ended up in hell instead of here.
“It had to be done for–”
“The greater good.” completed Sirius, a disappointed look on his face rather than anger. Albus had kept him locked of for so long but he had to but he had forgotten how handsome the disowned heir of Black house was before he went to Azkaban. “What difference do you have from Grindelwald if you are doing the same things he had done?”
“It’s not the same thing Mr. Black and you know it.”
“I know nothing anymore Professor,” objected Sirius as he ran his hand through his hair. “I thought I knew everything up until two years ago, I thought I knew you too but things change I guess and don’t call me Mr. Black again… please.”
No one talked for a while as Sirius took Lily away to calm her down a little bit, tears streaming down her face as she watched Harry fight everyone who tried to take him away from where Dumbledore’s lifeless body was. James opened his mouth every few minutes to break the silence but he couldn’t do it.
“Do you know how devastated he was?” he asked finally, his voice breaking a little. “Do you know Bill got attacked by Greyback? Do you know Harry tried to do something so bad to Snape because you made a monster of him?”
“James, I never thought I would see the day you worry about Severus.”
“No, no, no,” mumbled James his eyes gleaming with the fury he was trying so hard to keep at bay. “Don’t confuse my worry about my son with my worry about Snape. The way you are straying away from the subject, I think you don’t know shit, Professor.”
“I have made sure to leave a plan behind for Tom’s defeat,” explained Dumbledore, his fingers intertwined and his gaze on the ring he still was wearing. “These weren’t some momentary decisions, I had known I had to die for a good while, sometimes you have to sacrifice–”
“Don’t you dare talk about sacrifice in front of Lily,” shouted James, Dumbledore had finally pushed him off of the edge he was trying to hold onto. “All three of us sacrificed ourselves, too, you are not the only one who tried to do something for–”
“The greater good,” whispered Sirius as he walked back and forth. “You raised him like a pig for slaughter for the greater good?”
“I tried my best to be there for him, there are things you can’t possibly understand,” began Dumbledore his fingers rubbing the burnt skin.
“If you had been there for him, I would still be alive you know,” said Sirius his voice breaking down in the middle of his sentence. “If you had been there for me as you promised when we joined the Order, I would still be whole.”
“I’m sorry Sirius that you–” he took a deep breath before staring to talk again. “I’m sorry that this happened to you but that was on all of us.”
“If you had been there for him Snape wouldn’t have made his life a living hell,” countered James. “He took his revenge out of my son, not me, my son and you just couldn’t say no to him because he was your Queen in your chess game where you were the King and Harry was nothing more than a stupid pawn.”
“Harry isn’t in the middle of the war because I put him there, Sybill made a prophecy about–”
“You know damn well prophecies don’t have to be carried out!” shouted Sirius, his grey eyes not so pale anymore but burning with anger. “You could have prevented so many things Albus, this could have gone so differently.”
Lily came back slowly from where she was, walked past James and stood right in front of Albus, her tears dried on her face and her eyes determined to hurt the shell of a man standing in front of her.
“You just love to make sure you are not the only one feeling guilty don’t you? Because how else could you have borne leaving Harry at that house?” said Lily, she was visibly calmed down but her disappointment was visible on every inch of her pale skin. “You left him to rot saying that it was the only way he could live, that’s not a reason good enough for me to leave my son in an abusive household Professor. You may have sacrificed yourself as you have sacrificed all of the pawns in your game but I will never forgive you for what you have done to me, my family. My Harry.”
“Harry was never yours to sacrifice,” continued James as he threw his arm over Lily’s shoulders, hugging her tightly. “I didn’t die for my son to become a soldier in someone else’s war, Sirius didn’t die so you can continue taking advantage of him and Lily didn’t sacrifice herself even though she could have ran away just so he can die at the hands of Voldemort again. Your plan, Professor, is flawed beyond belief and you are the only one who thinks it will work perfectly.”
“You are a coward, Professor and I always thought you were one of the bravest man I have ever met.”
Albus Dumbledore had been called many names before but it had been years since he had been called a coward, it was safe to say he was scared of the word even since Aberforth looked him in the eye at Ariana’s funeral and said it.
Albus would be the first to admit when he did something wrong, he wasn’t perfect and he knew it. Wizarding World however, ever since he had defeated Gellert, thought that he couldn’t make any mistakes. Tom Riddle had pushed him to make mistakes, sometimes to get to the better days you had to go through the darkest of times and he didn’t expect Sirius, James or Lily to understand that.
When he was left to his own thoughts, Albus had thought about all the mistakes he had made in his life, it was a long list for someone who was thought to be a hero of some sort, he was Harry’s hero although for one he hadn’t seen something coming. The more he thought about it the more he felt the weight of the responsibility on his shoulders. The boy he had raised to be a soldier say him as his hero, not knowing half the things he had done. Would Harry have seen him the same if he had known about Ariana? Would he still think Albus was brave if he had known his fate? Harry was a selfless boy, what would have happened if Albus never kept secrets from him?
Albus looked at the trio standing far away from him and decided it was best if he had stayed away for the time being because the more he thought about it, he understood why they were so angry. Harry trusted him and he had broken his trust by not trusting him enough to tell him everything but he had to. Albus had to keep this a secret for everything to work out how he planned them to.
It had to be Severus who killed him, this way he would get the complete trust of Tom and feed him false information. When the time came Snape had to make sure Order didn’t understand he was a spy for them and Harry, well Harry had to die. The moment he had survived the first killing curse, it was certain that Harry was meant for great things but now Albus didn’t know if dying was a great thing to do for a 17 year old child as Lily kept reminding but someone had to make the decisions that were hard to make for others, someone had to do the harder thing but he was a coward after all.
A coward who had to be the villain in the end to make sure the real villain was defeated. Albus Dumbledore never referred to him as a hero or a brave men, he never was, he hadn’t been brave with Gellert so he was determined not to make the same mistake he did because he was too blind to see back then, this time whatever it took, it wasn’t going to take more lives than it should. He hadn’t been brave with Ariana, he couldn’t save her from herself or the people around her. He wasn’t brave when it came to Sirius, he wasn’t brave when it came to Remus either, he wasn’t brave when it came to the people who he cared about because he was scared.
However Harry, he was brave, he was one of the bravest people Dumbledore had met and that was saying something. He had taken the risk of assuming that Harry would willingly sacrifice himself to save the people he loved and he knew that he was right. Albus was nothing compared to what Harry was, at least that was how he felt as the tall boy insisted he would be the one to do the blood sacrifice in the cave or when he insisted on defeating Voldemort when this wasn’t his war to fight.
Albus was hell-bent on not having another mistake in his life and if it meant being a coward he was fine with it because he knew deep inside that everything would work out, just fine and it was alright that Sirius, James and Lily didn’t understand just yet, he had to live with the hatred he now know he deserved for a while, at least until the war was over.
You cannot be a hero without being a coward. - George Bernard Shaw