phish food

2

is it already tuesday again? are there people who actually manage to take new selfies every week? i am clearly not one of those people as evidenced by the time stamp in photo 2, excuse the frizz, but i don’t actually give a fuck anymore

@bellesolo @deadshotbellamy @boob-morley @stargirlclarke @babybellblake @bobmorlee @blueshirtbell @malecbellarke @frecklessbellamy @nathanmillers @flawlessbanshee @tracylorde @griffinnblake @bellamynochillblake @bl-ake @bel-ami-blake @grumpybell @ravenbellclarke @bellbearblake

miss-phengophobia  asked:

Oh, I love your headcannons! Can I have some Elorcan - "don't tempt me" 😊 Thanks for the positivity, the fandom seriously needs it. 💛

Hi! Thanks! And sorry this took so long!

——

“Don’t. You. Dare.”

Lorcan gave her a lazy smile. “Oh, but I do.”

A muscle feathered in Elide’s jaw as she watched him pull a spoon from the drawer and stab the smooth surface of the freshly opened pint of Ben and Jerry’s Phish Food ice cream.

He pulled up a hunk of that chocolatey goodness brought it up and closed his mouth over the spoon. He closed his eyes. “Mmm.”

She was going to murder him.

Three days ago, she’d come home with that fresh pint of ice cream and had been hell bent on devouring it slowly over the course of the evening. Unfortunately for her, she’d also lost a bet to Lorcan earlier that day and he’d yet to tell her which food she had to give up for a week. No sooner had she pulled the plastic off the ice cream when the bastard had declared that chocolate was the food she had to give up. And because Elide was a woman of her word, she’d acted as if it was no big deal and put the ice cream in the freezer.

She didn’t need chocolate. There were plenty of other foods in the world. But as she sat there on the couch watching Lorcan, in all his shirtless glory, moan around a mouthful of her ice cream….well she was salty as fuck.

Two could play this game.

Shrugging him off, Elide stood. She dropped her book onto the coffee table and tossed her hair out behind her. Then she slid a hand beneath the back of her shirt, unhooked her bra, and pulled it off through her sleeves.

Lorcan choked from the kitchen as she tossed the bra lazily onto the counter between them. She made a small show of leaning back to toss out her hair again, making sure to pull the shirt tight across her breasts.

She’d make him think twice about eating her ice cream. Bastard.

“I know what you’re doing,” Lorcan said, holding her eyes as he lifted another spoonful of her ice cream to his mouth. “And it’s not gonna work.”

She gave him a bedroom smile. “Baby, I’m just getting started.” Then she strut to the bedroom, locked the door, and made sure she turned her vibrator up all the way for him to hear. She wasn’t really revenge masturbating. But Lorcan didn’t need to know that.

Like clockwork she heard the giant clobber up the stand on the other side of the bedroom door. Then it was her turn to say, “Mmm.” And because she was petty she added, “Oh, Fenrys.”

Lorcan pounded on the door.

“I’m busy, babe. Gimme another 10 minutes.”

He jiggled the knob. “I need something. From your room.”

She rolled her eyes. They might have lived in the same apartment but Lorcan kept his things in his room. He was a freak about organization. Nothing of his was in her room. “Mmm, Fen.”

“Open the door.”

“No.”

“Yes.”

“Why?”

“Because.”

“Because why?”

“Because I said so.”

She made a sound like a gameshow buzzer for a wrong answer. “Try again.” She swore she heard him bristle.

“Fine.” He stomped away. Then stomped right back. “Don’t tempt me, Elide. I’m gonna stand here and eat all your ice cream.”

“You. Wouldn’t. Dare.”

With a mouth full of Ben and Jerry’s he said, “Try me.”

She threw open the door, brandishing the dildo and glared at him. “YOU ASSHOLE.”

He pointed at himself. “Me?! You’re the one revenge fucking yourself to Fenrys loud enough for me to hear.” He shoved another hunk of her ice cream in his mouth.

“You’re gonna get fat.” And yeah it was petty and stupid and lord knew he couldn’t get fat if he tried but it was the only damn thing she could think to say to get him to stop eating her damn ice cream.

Phish Food flew from him mouth as he said, “Better me than you.”

She gasped like Mindy Kahling. “How. Dare. You. WE ALL KNOW IT GOES TO MY TITS.” She dropped the dildo and grabbed said tits for emphasis.

Lorcan watched, the longing in his eyes letting her know he was jealous as hell of her hands. She jiggled her breasts, smirking. He whined deep in his throat like a dog, eyes still locked on her boobs.

“Poor widdle, Lorcan. No tits of his own to grab and touch and rub—”

“Show me your tits and I’ll let you have the ice cream.”

That was fast. She considered. Still making a show of touching her tits. “Mmm.” She closed her eyes and it her lip.

“Elide.”

“Mmmm.”

“Elide.”

“I’m thinking.”

He got down on his knees and held out the ice cream. “Dear god. Woman. Please.”

She flashed her tits grabbed the ice cream and slammed the door in his face. He whined when she locked it. And she ignored him as she plopped into her bed and ate the whole damn pint of ice cream.