phils bar

I Know You’re So Pretty

Summary: Blind!Dan and Phil go out to a bar and Dan gets horny when he’s drunk.

TW: alchohol, violence (a girl slaps dan), food mention

Word Count: 3k

Genre: fluff and smut

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Drunk on you

Summary: Dan and Phil are at a bar and Phil keeps dancing with people that aren’t Dan, he gets jealous.

Genre: Tiny bit of angst, smut. Friends to lovers.

Word count: 3,140

Warnings: alcohol

A/N: Thank you to @fanfictionbetas for betaing this for me!!

“Can I have another please?” Dan holds up his empty glass in front of the bar, hoping the server will notice him faster than all the people beside him.

He doesn’t have the decency to wait for his turn anymore, not when he’s this drunk, and not when he’s in this bad of a mood.

Since he had been stood by the bar for quite some time now, the server does prioritize him. He keeps buying, drinking, and buying more; the staff always prioritizes the ones that keep coming back for more. Someone mixes him another drink, one of the less expensive ones, but with more alcohol in.

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Title: Fuck You

Pairing: Phan (Danisnotonfire/AmazingPhil)

Genre: Smuuuttt

Words: 1,478

Warnings: Smut, and jealousy I guess

Summary: Dan gets jealous and sends out a fuck you tweet to Phil, later he actually does fuck him

A/N: My smut sucks, but here it is. Feel free to judge.

Dan huffs leering at his boyfriend from the bar.
Phil had decided that today would be a perfect day to go to a party on of his old college friends was having and bring Dan along. But so far, Phil had been talking to anyone and everyone but him. Needless to say, Dan was furious.
He sighs turning to the bartender. “Another one, please” He mumbles glancing back at Phil who threw his head back laughing at a comment a girl in a slutty dress had made. Dan’s jealousy, and anger only grew.
The bartender puts another cup down in front of Dan as he tears his eyes away from Phil.
“So, if you don’t mind me asking…. Whats got you so angry?” The bartender asks cleaning the counter.
Dan sighs turning his gaze to the man. “My boyfriend,” He mumbles shifting in his seat so he could talk better. “He brought me to this party, but as soon as we walked through the door, he ditched me, and now he’s talking to some skank.” Dan growls jerking his head towards Phil and the ‘Skank’
The man sighs glancing at the two. “Oh damn, I’m sorry.” Dan just shrugs. “I expected everyone to be all over him, but honestly, I didn’t think he’d abandon me.”
The bartender sighs with a nod. “I know how you feel, one minute you’re in love, the next they abandon you for someone younger, prettier, smarter.” He hisses making Dan assume he had some experience with this.
Dan looks down with a scowl. It’s not true is it, Phil still loved him… right?
He glances over to where Phil was still talking to girl just in time to see her put her mouth next to his ear and whisper something seductively.
Dan purses his lips, tears springing to his eyes. Quickly he takes out his phone, opens twitter and types. “Fuck you @amazingphil” Before standing up and storming out of the party.


By the time Dan reached the flat, he had cooled off a bit, not enough to make him forget about his jealousy, but enough so he wasn’t rampaging through the house and breaking all of their little knick knacks.
He pulls out his phone deciding to check tumblr but instead sees 10 missed calls from Phil, and about 23 messages from Phil.
He huffs clearing them all away and heading to his room.
5 minutes later, the front door slam shut. “Dan? Bear? Are you here?” He hears Phil call. Dan huffs crossing his arms not responding.
Soon the door to his room opens revealing a sad looking Phil, but Dan doesn’t look up.
“Bear, what happened?” He asks sitting on the other side of Dan running a hand through the younger boys hair.
Dan shakes it off.
“Nothing.” He snaps.
Phil sighs shrugging off his coat. “Dan, I know something happened, you tweeted ‘Fuck you’ what is it?”
Dan purses his lips. “Maybe the way you abandoned me?” He growls shutting his laptop and putting it on his desk. “Or maybe the way you danced with that skank, or the way you let her feel you up, or the way you let her whisper seductive things in your ear. What did she tell you Phil!” Dan hisses voice growing louder and louder until he was screaming, letting out all of his pent up frustrations.
Phil’s eyes widen and he reaches for Dan’s hands. “She didn’t say anything” He assures but Dan knew he was lying because his eyes flickered towards the ground.
“Phil.” Dan warns lowly ripping his hands away from Phil and sitting up on his knees. “What. Did. She. Tell. You?”
Phil sighs looking down. “She said she wanted to ride my cock, and she would be the best I’ve ever had.”
Dan’s breath catches in his throat. “I won’t stand for that.” He growls pushing Phil down roughly and quickly straddling him. “I’m going to make you forget all about that skank. I’m going to be the best you ever had”
He quickly kisses Phil, who was still laying shocked. He frowns tasting a fruity taste on Phil’s mouth and he pulls back. “Did she kiss you?” He asks recalling the fruity looking drink in the girls hand. Phil looks away. Dan huffs bending over again and attacking Phil’s mouth with more anger this time.
“I’m going. To make sure. That when I’m done. There. Will be no. Trace of. That skank. Anywhere.” He mumbles between kisses.
Phil moans in response bucking his hips up.
Dan moans also as Phil creates wonderful friction.

“When I’m done with you, you’ll never look at another boy or girl again without thinking of me.” He mumbles unbuttoning Phil’s shirt and pushing it off.

Phil doesn’t respond, but instead begins fumbling with Dan’s shirt as well, desperate to get it off.
As soon as his shirt is off Dan begins kissing down the older boy’s chest until he arrives at the waistband of his trousers.
Ever so slowly he unbuttons them and pulls the zip down with his teeth while looking up at Phil’s lust filled eyes.
“J-Just hurry u-up” Phil squeaks hands fisting the duvet underneath him and bucking up his hips.
Dan chuckles lowly before yanking the trousers past his feet revealing the considerably large tent in Phil’s sonic themed pants.
Phil lets his eyes flutter close as Dan begins mouthing over it. He lets out a rather loud moan, and Dan chuckles as the older boy flushes a deep scarlet.
“Dan. Please.” Phil all but moans lacing his fingers through the Dan’s chocolate colored curls.

Dan nods letting out a sharp gasp as Phil tugs on his hair and quickly slides the pants down over his legs throwing them somewhere by the other discarded clothing.
He slowly lowers his mouth over the shaft, letting the warm air from his mouth wash over it before taking it all in one go fighting his gag reflex.
Phil tightens his grip on Dan’s hair letting out a girlish moan before snapping his lips shut and blushing scarlet. Dan chuckles sending vibrations up Phil’s cock causing his eyes to flutter shut.
Dan begins to bob his head up and down at various speeds before pulling off with a pop. Quickly he slides out of his own trousers, desperate to make Phil forget about anyone he’s ever been with and claim him as his own.
Grabbing the lube from their desk drawer, he spreads Phil’s knees apart and pouring a generous amount on his fingers.
“How many baby?” He coo’s pressing one against Phil’s rim.
Phil blushes again. “T-Two” He stutters looking away. “I-I stretched in the morning”

Dan nods quickly pushing two of his fingers in, beginning to pump them quickly.
Phil whimpers pressing his head against the pillow.
Dan smirks beginning to scissor his fingers revealing in the soft whimpers and moans pouring from Phil’s mouth. “You like that baby, like when my fingers stretch you nice and open? Does it feel good?”
Phil nods his head lolling from side to side. “D-Dan, I’m r-ready” He mumbles
Dan nods pulling his fingers out of Phil and pouring lube over his hard and leaking cock, stroking it a few times before lining up with Phil’s hole.
Phil nods. “D-Don’t hold back. I-I can take it.”
Dan smirks with a nod before pounding into Phil with a brutal force, hard enough to shake the headboard.
Just like Phil requested, he doesn’t hold back immediately thrusting hard and fast enjoying the screams and moans falling out of the beautiful black haired boy’s mouth.
“Bet no one can make you feel like this huh? No one can fuck you so hard you scream. Can they? Tell me who can make you feel like this.” Dan murmurs into Phil’s ear before beginning to nip at his neck.
Phil moans nails scratching down the younger boy’s back, “Only you can” He mumbles.
Dan moans holding Phil close, “That’s right, only I can, you’re mine” He groans.
Phil pulls back looking Dan dead in the eye. “I’m yours”
Dan groans coming undone, Phil following soon after, both of them riding out their orgasms together.
Phil sighs as Dan pulls out. “What got you all crazy jealous anyway? You know I’d never leave you?” He mumbles pulling Dan into his chest.
Dan sighs, “I dunno, I was talking to the bartender about how sad I was that you abandoned me and he said something that made me think you didn’t love me anymore”
Phil pouts holding Dan closer. “I could never not love you. You mean too much to me.”

Dan smiles softly. “I know.” He whispers before grinning impishly. “Hey Phil?”

“Hmm?” Phil responds.

“I really did Fuck You” He smirks referring to his tweet from earlier. Phil laughs. “Maybe next time, I can fuck you instead.”

  • Coulson: So, about that base you're building.
  • Darcy: What about it? Please tell me you don't have notes. Because if Fury sends me one more round of revisions--
  • Coulson: No, no, I like what you're doing. But, you know we've been expanding HQ, opening up new parts of the SSR facility as our operations have grown.
  • Darcy: I am aware.
  • Coulson: And you know that abandoned building about, oh, a mile or so away?
  • Darcy: Sure.
  • Coulson: Turns out the base runs right under it. And, there are two entrances to the base from the building.
  • Darcy: Oh! Backup exit. Love it. I feel like I'll have four or five.
  • Coulson: I'm worried about how paranoid you're becoming.
  • Darcy: I am rationally cautious.
  • Coulson: I feel like that's a Natasha line.
  • Darcy: Pretty sure it is.
  • Coulson: Anyway, back to that abandoned building. There's an elevator in the back, but there's also one in the front. A platform in the floor. Goes straight down.
  • Darcy: Cool.
  • Coulson: So, as I said, I like what you're doing with the New York base, and I was thinking, you know what would be great?
  • Darcy: No, no, oh come on, Phil.
  • Coulson: It's not far off the highway. It's a great spot for a roadhouse bar.
  • Darcy: Why do you want to break Bucky's heart?
  • Coulson: I was thinking, you know what else would be neat? We put a booth on that platform elevator. Then, boom, straight down.
  • Darcy: Are you watching "Get Smart" again?
  • Coulson: Do you know how many gadgets from that show are in the CIA museum?
  • Darcy: A lot?
  • Coulson: A lot.
  • Darcy: Okay, well, you get to explain to Bucky why you're BREAKING HIS HEART.
  • Coulson: Hear me out--
  • Darcy: He was so proud of that idea. It was the first thing he wanted for himself in like 70 years, Phil.
  • Coulson: Okay, really, hear me out. I'm naming the bar "Buck's".
  • Darcy: Great. Well, I'm not naming ours "Phil's".
  • Coulson: Why not? That's great symmetry.
  • Darcy: I'm calling Bucky and then I'm handing you the phone and you can tell the Winter Soldier all about your neat idea.
Fake Relationship (2) AU Masterlist

part one

Accidentally on Purpose Falling For You - insanityplaysfics

Summary: After being set up on a blind date neither boy was prepared for, Dan and Phil come up with a plan to get back at their friends; Pretend to date, and then have the ugliest break up imaginable. The problem? They hadn’t expected to fall for each other.

Back to Normal - iamphanaf

Summary: When Dan joins Phil on a family vacation to Florida, Phil’s mother thinks they’ve finally gotten together, Dan panics and goes along with it

Connected By A Feeling - obsessedsophie

Summary: When a cute brunette gets unwanted attention from a guy in a bar, Phil spontaneously saves him by playing his boyfriend. Little does he know that said cute brunette happens to be his co-worker at his new job.

Elevator Boyfriends - crescendohowell

Summary: Phil is on an elevator that gets stuck where he meets Dan. Dan asks Phil to pretend to be his boyfriend because there is another dude who’s giving him weird looks.

It Wasn’t Acting - edhasgotphanxiety

Summary: Heartbroken after catching his boyfriend - Oliver - cheating, Phil decides to leave him but then two weeks later, the doorbell rings and there stood his now-ex-boyfriend claiming that he wants Phil back. Phil denies Oliver’s pleas, leading him to become more aggressive but after secretly listening in on the conversation, Dan decides to interfere.

Lakeside Lovin’ - phancyphanfiction

Summary: Dan and Phil have to pretend to be dating for 5 days while at Dan’s parents lake house family reuinion. But things get nawdee.

My Savior - ibelily

Summary: Phil helps Dan out of a sticky situation.

PR Stunt - amazingphilia

Summary: K-Pop!verse AU. Dan is forced to date actress Kalel Cullen for a PR stunt to widen their fanbase for their next comeback, as well as for more people to watch Kalel’s upcoming movie.

Stood Up - phan-panda

Summary: Dan comes to Phil’s rescue and pretends to be his boyfriend after he is stood up for a blind date.

The Marriage Mock - livefreeandshipfree

Summary: Dan visits his parents, and begs Phil to pretend to be his husband.

After Party Imagine

The Party Is underway and after all the guests have arrived, The boys both feel a big weight lift off their shoulders. Their friends really showed up! Feeling a little stressed, Dan pulled Phil over to the bar to get a few shots in them when as they read the menu change their minds are go for ‘The Dan’ and ‘The Phil’ they quickly try each others signature drinks and of course love them! Phil couldn’t tell if Dans actually had alcohol in it but didn’t care as he was enjoying it too much. After a final swig, The two look at each other and burst into a laughing fit for no reason. Finally they were beginning to lighten up and greet their guests with confidence.

Their friends all congratulated them holding their drinks high in the air as they did so. Hours went by and every now and then, Phil could catch Dan just staring into his eyes. Ignoring it, Phil carried on with his conversations with his fellow Youtuber’s. 

Suddenly, a hip and cringe song came on sending a shout of excitement through the room from the guests. Dan’s, face instantly tweaked into a ginormous smile, watching his friends dance. 

“This is Gold!” Dan giggled, not taking his eyes off the crowd. But Phil wasn’t looking at the crowd, he was looking at Dan, his true best friend. The boy who had changed his world after a single comment on one of a video. The endless Skype calls and long train journeys brought them even closer and made them the duo they are today. Phil knew Dan had changed over the years. He was always questioning himself as to who he really was and if he fitted in with the world at all. Phil just wanted to tell his chocolate brown haired friend that he didn’t need to fit in with anyone, He was already perfect the way he was. But he couldn’t. After everything they had achieved together, a little crush wasn’t going to change anything.. But it wasn’t just a little crush. Phil was in love. He had been in love since the moment he first lay eyes on Dan at the train station. This made things hard, but still he was content with the way things were already! DREAMS WERE COMING TRUE! And Phil had dan there right next to him all the way.

A hand suddenly pricked Phils back, sending him flying our of his chair and straight into Peej who was dancing with Sophie and Chris. 

“Come and dance with us, Guys!” Chris shouted. Phil turned to Dan who was shrugging his shoulders. Phil rolled my eyes, and grabbed Dan’s hand and dragged him to a free area where they had room to do their awkward dance moves. 

The two started of just shuffling around, making eye contact every now and then but soon the music got louder and faster sending Phil’s instincts into motion. Soon enough, they were dancing like none was watching, which was the exact opposite of what the guests were doing. a circle had formed around the boys and clapping had began. Randomly, Dan grabbed phil’s hand and threw him into a spin, hysterically laughing as he did so. Phil took advantage of this moment and did the same to Dan. They began swing dancing which made the crowd roar with excitement! Cameras flashing, Chanting of names. But they didn’t matter, spending this moment with Dan was all that did. Seeing such happiness on his face and no sign of sadness. Maybe this year has been the best for the two. The beauty in front of Phil was so temping and as he expected he would, Phil placed his free hand on Dans cheek and as is like lightning, pulled him into a kiss. It felt so passionate and right. Dan tried to pull away at first but soon lost himself and fell for it. Although the music was still playing and the screams were growing around them, Phil heard nothing. It was as if everything had disappeared from the universe and Dan was the only other human that remained. The kiss didn’t last long but it was long enough as when Dan finally pulled away to catch his breath, Phil found himself falling back into reality Only to find Dan smiling that adorable smile. They embraced each other and just as the song switched to something more slow and steady. People had began to leave the circle and join their partners to slow dance. 

Still in his Embrace, Phil felt Dans jaw move as if he was about to speak and whispered something so unexacting, it nearly made Phil fall to his knees with weakness..

“I’ve been waiting for that since 2009.” 

OKAY BYEEEEEEEEE (Sorry if i have sent any of you into an intense crafting session after this.. <3)

Diet Soda Society

songfic based on diet soda society by the maine (so go listen to it otherwise this won’t make a lot of sense) – dan is a lonely philosophy teacher who just needs to vent his thoughts, but not everyone understands.


Phil glances up on hearing the familiar clink of the door opening, a short gust of icy air escaping before the figure, wrapped in layers of scarves with a hidden face behind a fluffy hood, shuts it firmly behind him.

The figure exhales with shaky relief, pulling his hood down and freeing his brown fringe, sticking up in crazy waves from the weather and unravelling the longest scarf, a black knitted Topman creation, by the looks of it, before stumbling over to the bar Phil stands behind.

“Dan,” Phil smirks, eyeing the rosy interruption to his usually tanned complexion on either side of his cheeks, and watching him desperately comb his fringe into something half-acceptable. “Good to see you again,”

“Hi,” Dan shudders, unbuttoning his coat and slumping on the nearest stool to where Phil’s standing. He keeps his eyes lowered, and Phil doesn’t want to question anything, but Dan’s tear-streaked face doesn’t go unnoticed.

Phil widens his eyes at the window. “Nice out there, isn’t it?” he remarks sarcastically in an attempt to change the subject.

“Hm,” Dan sighs, and Phil smirks. “Been better, I guess,”

“The usual?” he glances over to the shelf of bottled drinks behind him, and Dan nods.

“Paige will be here soon, she just stopped off to get some milk,” Dan tells him, to which Phil nods.

“Same for her, too?” he reaches for the soda fountain, and Dan nods.

“Table nine,” Dan glances over to the table furthest away from any other customers, beside the window. “We’ll probably get some fries or something too, if that’s okay?”

“Sure,” Phil gives him a warm smile, reaching for the fountain handle. “It won’t be long.”

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