philosophic tree

notes to the types, from an INTJ.

DISCLAIMER: All of this is subjective, obviously.

ISTP:
-Stop pretending you’re an aloof ninja. You’re just a nerd. Calm down.
-Okay I know you want to learn how to throw and spin knives and that is a-okay, just don’t point it at me, seriously.
-STOP PRETENDING YOU DON’T HAVE EMOTIONS. What’s up with you and not wanting to admit that you feel things? It’s not a bad thing!
-Such nerds. succchhh nerds.
-Remember to do that thing that’s due tomorrow NOW, bc I know you’ll do it in 2 minutes before class tomorrow.
-keep track of time. Why are you so bad at this?
-Yes, what you said offended that person. Yes, they will probably accept your apology.
-You make so many noises
-Maybe make more facial expressions? You look like you want to kill someone when you’re not doing anything. But I can totally relate. Others might not get it though, so try to be a bit more expressive.

INTJ:
-Stop being an asshole.
-literally no one asked you to make everything a metaphor for suffering.
-you are NOT the nicest person I know. Don’t delude yourself. You may be understanding, but niceness is usually measured by external things, like compassion and emotion. Which you basically NEVER express.
-why do u make so many puns dear god
-??? You speak perfectly. I don’t know how. #NotAllINTJs
-yes, you’re charismatic, but it’s in an awkward way. You aren’t “the suave master”, you’re just the cute nerd. Got it?
-next time you repeatedly ask me the same question I will throw you off a cliff

ISTJ:
-how do you do so many things? I don’t have that energy.
-also, stop reading Wattpad instead of studying. You know that your grades matter more to you.
-don’t be afraid to speak your opinion just because other people won’t accept it or because you think it may disrupt the balance. Most things need to be verbalized.
-I DON’T GET WHY PEOPLE ARE SO IGNORANT EITHER. What’s up with that????
-sometimes perspectives need to shift and things just arent a useful supply of information anymore.
-get some sleep.
-grades don’t mean everything just because you were told they always mean everything.
-my cute timid sunflowers 💕

INFP:
-you’ll never be happy if you don’t pursue something you love. It doesn’t matter if someone doesn’t want you to. You matter most, in your world. Okay?
-worry about yourself more
-if you’re so worried about being organized, organize yourself. I’ll help you. It only takes 2 weeks to develop a habit, after all.
-DO. NOT. DATE. MANIPULATIVE. PEOPLE! Why??? Bbg! You always love the underdogs, but sometimes the underdogs are literal psychopaths! That is not healthy! You don’t need that kind of manipulation. Use some reasoning!
-you guys have so much creativity. Express it! People love that shit, trust me. I know I do.
-go on adventures if you want to! Might as well, yeah? It’s not going to HURT if you take a hike and draw some trees. Philosophize. It’s what makes self-realization.

ENFP:
-how. So much. So much energy. Why do you always want to go to the mall or to a party?
-no, i dont want to go anywhere, and no, it’s not because I’m being lazy.
-we should build a shed. You can keep your various stray animals there.
-why. Why are you so dependent. You don’t need to talk to your boyfriend for every minute of everyday AND update him on your status every hour.
-stop making so many “fake” friends. Just because someone compliments your shirt doesn’t mean they aren’t going to be a terrible person.
-it’s just project-project-project with you, isnt it? You don’t even finish 1/3rd of them. …i’ll still help you, though.

INFJ:
-sweetheart
-you don’t need to base your being on making others feel better. Or on making yourself fit into a ridiculously ideal image. People like you imagine just don’t exist.
-pretentious w books
-many pretentious books
-also a weeb. It goes hand-in-hand.
-find a good outlet to express your emotions.
-don’t look at the floor all the time, just because you don’t want to meet anyone’s gaze or because you want to think. Look ahead. Show some confidence, darling. You could take the world if you wanted to.
-if you don’t want life to be meaningless, find your meaning. Pursue it.

ESTJ:
-you would be cool, if you didnt have such a bias towards things you don’t even know you HAVE A BIAS towards. Yes, that’s biased. Oooh, how do I know? Let me explain.
-what society taught you isnt always what you will believe. You need to stop deluding yourself.
-stop giving TEXT-BOOK DEFINITIONS
-i gotta admit your logic is pretty solid but your BIASES, oh god the biases.
-why do u have a literal army of followers

ENFJ: *sorry! I hate the two ENFJs i know. They’re underdeveloped.*
-you make me cry. Feelings aren’t to be used in logic-fueled arguments. Don’t think they are facts.
-i dont like you for reasons. Those reasons not being “oh did i offend you”, like??? Who you trying to fight here, me, or your suppressed emotional biases??
-the amount of people who like you doesn’t equal your value! What were you thinking?
-speaking of thinking: you should THINK a lot more! Please? Think something through before you ask me an emotionally-barbed question.

INTP:
-my little fluster nerds
-always developing new things
-I always happen to get into a love-hate relationship with you; because I regard you with fascination and you feel like you’re being studied (you are, btw), and you hate feeling like you’re under a microscope. It’s okay, ill keep teasing you. Your reactions are so adorable!
-inf Fe is so cute. The responses to the stimuli. Ugh. I wanna hug you and tell you how adorable. How puppy.
-nah, nah! I don’t hate you. I’d never hate you. You’re just so INTERESTING. Tell me all about your conspiracy theories! You’re making a language? Ooh, can you teach it to me? That’s so cool! Let me contribute my ideas, too!
-YES, let’s build a sculpture. YES, let’s make english more efficient. Have you heard of that meme?-yeah, that one!
-every conversation is like a make-a-story with the contributions from both sides.
-TEAM CRINGE when people make logical fallacies

ENTP:
-high quality memers.
-most of the people I’ve had crushes on are ENTPs, un-miraculously.
-i could listen to you make up sarcastic stories for hours and never get bored
-TEAM USELESS FACTS that no one will ever use but you still have because of Wikipedia searches.
-you are hilarious. And also, very cute when flustered. Less-so than INTP, but that’s only because they only ever wanna talk about history or chemistry or their poison of choice. You will actually talk to people.
-you all have a distinct walk. It’s so odd. It’s a pattern I’m seeing, though.