‘I promise you won’t have to do anything more than just come with me.’ ‘But I don’t understand what you want from me.’ ‘I need a look at this Schell guy, and since I clearly have the wrong plumbing …’ he said. ‘How good are your improv skills?’
Digby marched up to the receptionist. ‘Hello. My girlfriend and I are going to have sex and we need to ask Dr Schell about birth control.’ I almost died. The look the receptionist gave us reminded me of when Grandma called her neighbor a dirty bird for peeing in the hydrangeas. Actually, the entire waiting room of women was giving us that look.
‘Well, there’s been a cancelation and I can squeeze you in for a fifteen-minute consultation. But only a consultation – no procedures,’ the receptionist said. ‘We won’t take long,’ Digby said. ‘We got the basics in Health. Just want to confirm some details with an expert … can’t believe everything on the interwebs, amiright?’ The receptionist frowned at me. Why me?
Watching my parents squabble after Dad moved out, it annoyed me that they couldn’t admit they missed each other. They fought about me, but really, I could’ve been a dog and the arguments would’ve been no different. Just kiss already, I used to think when I watched them. I thought the same thing watching Digby and Henry bickering on their way to the car. Just admit you’ve missed each other and kiss already. Sure, part of me wanted to go ride around town with them, but their bickering was seriously causing flashbacks. I’d heard enough bickering to last me a lifetime. Nothing could get me in that car. Inside the house, Mom yelled, thinking I was still in my room, ‘Zoe! Want to come to the Scrabble mixer with me?’ Except maybe that. ‘Sorry, Mom, my friends are here!’ I ran off the porch.