phil buckle

anonymous asked:


Plain and simple:

They did not have a falling out in 2012.

This might be really long so buckle up because I’ve got a lot to say for you on why “2012″ was NOT a bad year for them. 

There’s a thing called “The Honeymoon Phase” sound familiar?
In psychology The Honeymoon Phase lasts about 2 years between a relationship. This honeymoon phase is when you’re basically obsessed with someone, you’re constantly together, you love them to bits. Basically, you never want to leave their side. AKA, the beginning of a relationship if you will.

(Also studies show that you can go back into The Honeymoon Phase after periods of time with the same person. Reasons why they’re closer than ever lately? And have been like that since 2016? Possibly two more years of The Honeymoon Phase? theorists explain)

Near the end of 2009 they meet for the first time. And you can say whatever you want about them in 2009, but it was what sparked The Honeymoon Phase. In 2010 their friendship flourished to the point of Dan going to university in Manchester to be closer to Phil. In 2011, they’re living together. 

And then comes the “dreaded” 2012. 2 years after knowing each other.
Nothing happened in 2012 between them. They didn’t get bored of each other, they didn’t drift apart, they were still as close as ever. Just that The Honeymoon Phase had ended. It was also when they realized that YouTube is kind of becoming more of “a thing”, they’re getting paid from it, might as well to take it seriously. So they did. They wanted themselves to be known and work hard for their oblivion that was their success. Not because of each other. 

You could also see it as kind of competition between the two to see who would grow more in popularity with the differences in their personalities. You have Phil describing why he was a weird kid vs. why Dan got fired from his job. They both had their growing channels, they both had their jobs as YouTubers. They helped each other sure, but they’re not just a conjoined working unit. 

Now, here comes the question of “how come they didn’t out themselves if it was real?” WHY SHOULD THEY? This was 2012, not everyone was as accepting back then as they are now, and even now in 2017 people still aren’t as accepting as they should be. YouTube was their professional life, telling stories on the internet. It was how they got paid to pay for their cereal and milk in the mornings.

How many times have we gotten the Internet spiel? “everything you do online stays there forever, think about what you post” 
Literally, all the damn time. 

I’ve dug through their twitter and tumblr archives enough to know that Dan and Phil are strict on this rule. They have every right to be. How would you feel if you had over a million people peeping into your window every second of every day, just because you said something that intrigued others? They do this enough already. But for it being 2012, that’s fucking intimidating. 

“But how come they kept denying Phan?” Because that’s their personal life. Whether they’re together or not we have no say in that matter. Yes maybe “no homo howell” did rise and they brought up girls more than ever, but that’s because they were scared. They grew tougher shells, Phil became “innocent” because he never talked about anything, while Dan made a “macho fuck boy” kind-of-a-dick-at-times face just so they could have people shut about about “Is Phan Real?”

When you’re in love with someone of the same sex, you don’t get to have a say sometimes. Especially in the media realm where people judge your every move. When friends and family could be at stake because of what their son has said online to a platform in front of thousands. It wasn’t a harmful thing it what they did and what they said, but it was for protection of themselves. To stay roommates, to keep their jobs at the BBC, and to stay close to one another. Their brand new and terrifying job would have been shut down if people knew “they were gay” and you know it. They had that fear of their radio show not working out for this exact reason. (They didn’t have to say it you can just tell) They moved to London on a very short budget in a short amount of time and were probably on borderline of debt for a while because they were trying so so hard to manage and keep their views growing. 

When you look back, they ended nearly every liveshow together back when they first started doing them. They talked about personal means all the time. They made milk shakes and hot chocolate, answered questions about family christmas time, told stories as kids. They never drifted apart they just grew that face they wanted to share. They ended them like this because they’re each other’s comfort; when the numbers grew large and the questions started to filter back to that dreaded subject.

People tend to forget that Dan Howell and Phil Lester are actual people too. Who have credit cards and bills to their name. That have family and talk to their parents when they have problems. They have feelings and mess up constantly. But they also have each other. 

Furthermore, I truly believe in 2013 times were getting rough for them. Not in 2012. 

Not because of each other. But because they were stressed maybe. They were losing friends, and battles against other youtubers. Their own audience brought up questions they didn’t want to answer. Dan’s own brother got bullied by his own audience because Dan didn’t answer questions he didn’t want to answer. 

You can say those times were bad but it’s because it’s your own fault haha. They don’t stand on pedestal, they’re not celebrities with managers and security (well maybe now they are) but back then they weren’t like that. It was just each other having to fend off literally a million people because that year was when they both hit 1 MILLION subscribers. And back in 2012-13 that was A HUGE MILESTONE, and still is. 

So they had to build up walls, and distant each other, and proclaim that they’re not sewn at the hip back then because they had to protect themselves. They didn’t fall out, because if they did, one of them would have moved out. 

They wouldn’t be where they are today. Finally comfortable in what they do and say and how they act. It’s a long cringy road if you look back, mistakes were made. But they were still just growing into a career that would soon be the best dream job they could ever have. 

And honestly, their friendship is one that is hard to find.

TLDR: Dan and Phil did not have a falling out in 2012 because they’re each other’s security blanket. Dan had never had a true best friend until he met Phil. They never drifted apart, they just made YouTube more of a professional platform so their friends and family wouldn’t judge as harshly as what they do for a living, along with businesses and audience members. They had to keep their jobs at the BBC without all the backstory of “being more than best friends” if that’s the case. They had to “distance” themselves online to keep themselves safe. And honestly, it was probably the best strategy they ever did in my opinion. Because, I mean, just look at them:

Originally posted by kawaiipiebl

Originally posted by rosequartzlester

Party- for Good Boys Only

Pairing: AmazingPhil & Danisnotonfire (Phan)

Genre: Smut, Angst, Daddy!kink

Warnings: Parental Divorce, Sexual Content

Word count: 9000

Summary: Dan and Phil are reluctant stepbrothers soon to be strangers. When Dan’s father decided to marry Phil’s mother, no one could have predicted the marriage ending in flames only a few weeks later. The two boys who avoided each other at all costs during the marriage are brought together one last time before they part ways forever. Phil hates Dan. Dan can’t stand Phil. But what happens when a house party goes terribly wrong and they end up needing each other more than their parents ever did?  

AKA. Angsty teenage Dan, a drunken night no one can remember, mysterious hickies, thigh riding, overstim, sexual tension for days etc… 

Keep reading

A Day in the Life of Dan, Phil, and Emily // A Phan One-Shot

Genre: family fluff, domestic fluff. Parent!phan

Words: 3.2k

Relationship status: married

Warnings: slight swearing

Summary: YouTube Notification: AmazingPhil just uploaded a video: “A Day in the Life of Dan, Phil, and Emily!”

Keep reading

Fuck You

[prompt: dnp hate each other and then have the “I hate you” “I hate you too” *passionate making out* and maybe more… ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) fluff at the end would be amazing. tysm, ily!!xx]

holy shit i haven’t written for a long time im so sorry its been 2 months omg (also, i kinda altered the prompt! they don’t hate each other they just argue all the time)

also!!!!! remember!!!!!! even though dan and phil in this fic didn’t use a safeword, remember to always have a safeword with your partner no matter what kind of kinky shit or how angry you are or even though you or your partner says “i can take it”!!!!!!!! use it when you need to and never be afraid to bc your partner wants you to be safe!!!!! and if your partner doesnt stop after you’ve said the safeword multiple times, get away from them and/or if needed, call the cops!!!!!!!

[Contains: rough sex (like no joke), dom!phil, sub/powerbottom!dan, name calling, face fucking (shit yall), facial (nah m8 they didnt go to a spa), slight angst, maybe some fluff]

Excerpt: Phil slowly pulls his cock out, tapping the head of it on Dan’s lips, “Mm, lips so soft… Ready to suck my cock or even kiss my lips… Or maybe to kiss my ass.”

Dan shoves Phil, sitting up, “Fuck you.”

Phil chuckles, “Fuck you too, baby…”


Keep reading

Pastel Interview

Summary: Phil interviews with Dan.

Warning: Smut, Language, pastel!Phil, short!Phil, princess!Phil, businessman!Dan, Daddy!kink

Word Count: 2,754

A/N: I tweaked the prompt just slightly.


Fanfic Masterlist

The Underground car sways slightly as it rumbles down the track. Phil grips the edge of his seat with tips of his fingers. He can feel multiple pairs of eyes on him. It feels as if the whole car is staring straight at him. He’s knows that’s ridiculous because the car is so packed that no one is paying direct attention to the pastel boy in the corner.

Keep reading

Bus Rides- Chapter 18

Chapter 1

Chapter 17 

Word Count: 1623 (wow that’s long for me okay)

Days turned to weeks and weeks to months. Soon, Phil was out of his wheelchair and completely the end of the school year was approaching. Kids were stressing over exams and anxiously awaiting the summer break. Dan and Phil, however, were savoring each last bit of the school year. When summer would roll around, they wouldn’t be seeing each other for months. 

They each muddled through their standardized tests and found themselves in the last week of school: exam week. As they’d each only missed a few days of school and gotten decent grades, they were both exempt from their exams. Basically, for Dan and Phil, school was over. However, they still came in every day simply to soak up every second together they had left. 

“Hey, Dan. You wanna skip class today?” Phil asked as they ate breakfast Friday morning. They had been sitting through busywork for the last four days and were quite frankly sick of it.

“We can do that?” 

“Yeah. They stopped counting absences Tuesday. And it is the last day of school, after all.” 

Dan rolled his eyes. “Do they even expect us to be here? Let’s go.” They finished their breakfast and hopped in Phil’s car. A thought suddenly hit Dan. “Phil?” 


“Where are we going?” 

Phil thought on this for a moment before smirking. “How much money do you have on you?” 

Dan was confused. “None? Why would I bring money with me to school?” 

Phil checked his wallet. “I’ve got about 150 dollars. Do you have around 75 dollars at home?” 

Confused, Dan responded slowly. “Yeah… Why?” 

“You can pay me back later. We’re going to Thrillpark.” Thrillpark was an amusement park a few hours away. As the name stated, there were over a dozen thrill rides. “Tell your mom we’re hanging out tonight and I’ll drop you off at your house around 7. Then we’ll have about 6 hours at the park.” 

Dan checked his calculations and agreed, texting his mom. “Let’s go!”

After paying admission and entering the park, they reached a fork in the path. “Where are we going first?” 

Phil glanced around, realizing neither of them had grabbed a park map. “We can go on that.” He pointed at a slowly spinning tower that overlooked the whole park. “Then we’ll be able to see the rest of the park and know what we should ride.” Dan agreed and they headed to the tower. When they reached the top, they looked out over the park and the mountains surrounding it. Smiling, Dan took Phil’s hand as they admired the view. 

“Look at that one!” Dan pointed to the drop tower, where people fell from as high up as they were.

“And look at that one!” Phil pointed at the tallest coaster in the park. It was even higher up than they were.

“Look over there!” As the tower began its descent, they saw a roller coaster right near them. Its riders were suspended on their backs, so they were experiencing the rush of flying backwards. “I’ve always wanted to know what it’s like to fly.” Dan looked at Phil, suggesting simply with his stare that they should ride it. 

The tower reached the ground and its doors opened. “Okay…” 

Dan raced over to the coaster, Phil far behind him. Phil stopped in front of the coaster, staring at a group of riders whizzing through a loop. “Phil?” He turns his head to see Dan looking at him with a concerned expression. “Are you okay?” 

“Yeah… I’ve just never been on this one before.” 

“Don’t tell me you’re scared.” 

“No, no…” Phil blushed. “Let’s go.” The park was just opening as they arrived, so there wasn’t a line for the ride. They hopped on the front cart, buckling in. Phil looked at Dan nervously. Dan extended him a hand, which he took and squeezed harder than Dan thought necessary. 

“Don’t worry. It’ll be fun.” Dan smiled, and with that, they were off. They rotated over onto their harnesses, and Dan reached his free hand out into the sky. He screamed as the wind blew through his curly hair. “Woohoo! I’m flying! Phil, we’re flying!” As his head was locked into place, he couldn’t look at Phil. All he knew was Phil was grasping his hand for dear life. 

Dan beamed through the rest of the ride, cheering every time they hit a loop. As the ride came to a stop, Dan unbuckled his harness and climbed out, his hair tousled from the wind. Phil emerged with his hair blown back into a charming ebony quiff. “See, that wasn’t too bad, was it?” Dan kissed Phil for only a second before he pulled back, leaning over a trash can and vomiting. Dan frowned. “Okay, maybe it was.” 

“Can’t do coasters lying down.” Phil stood up, making his way to a bench and sitting down.

Dan took a seat beside him. “I’ll let you rest awhile. Do you want some water?” 

“Yeah, that would be nice.” Phil handed Dan a five dollar bill and Dan left for a few minutes, returning with a bottled water. 

“Better drink it all. The thing cost four dollars.” 

“Ah, the wonders of amusement park food.” Phil downed half the bottle, regaining his composure and standing up. “Why don’t we try something easier?” 

They ended up at the typical “hop in this cart and shoot things to win points and beat your friends” ride. The uncoordinated Dan quickly found that Phil had regained enough balance to obliterate him at the game. “You win this round, Lester. But I’ll strike back at the carnival.” 

And so they ate lunch, then maneuvered over to the carnival-themed section of the park. Finding a balloon-popping game, Phil pulled Dan over. “Oh, come on!” Dan whined. “You know I have no coordination. We’ve already been over this. There’s no way I can aim at and hit a balloon.” 

“Try anyway!” Phil gave the carny two dollars and he gave each of the boys three darts. Dan hit one baloon, and Phil hit three. The carny gave Dan a glow stick, and Phil a huge teddy bear. Dan moped towards the bumper cars, but he was stopped by Phil. “Maybe I have more coordination than you do, but you’re the real prize.” He handed Dan the gigantic bear, and Dan’s frown immediately turned upside down. “Happy now, Bear?” 


“Take that!” Dan rammed into the side of Phil’s bumper car, laughing. 

“You know I find this very traumatic!” Phil yelled, getting jolted around the track. 

“Oh gosh, now I do too! Thanks a lot!” Both their faces turned to dread for a moment, but then Phil bumped Dan with his car. 


“Oh, get back here, you little…” Dan sped towards Phil, the front of his car but a few inches from Phil’s. The ride suddenly stopped, Phil laughing evilly. “I’ve really run out of chances to get you, haven’t I?” 

Phil nodded, checking his phone. “Especially since we have to leave in half an hour.” 

“Really? This has been so great.” 

“Yeah. One last ride?”  

“Totally. Which one?” 

Phil looked up at the tallest coaster in the park. “That one.” 

“You sure you’ll be okay?” 

“Yeah.” Phil smiled as they waited in line for the only coaster they’d ride all day other than the one that made Phil sick. But hours had passed and Phil was convinced he’d be fine. Dan decided to trust him simply because he wanted to go on the roller coaster. This time they were seated near the middle of the train, and Dan took Phil’s hand again. “We’re sitting down safely in a cart now. I’ll be fine.” 

The car jolted to a start, pushing them up the first hill. as they reached the top, the train just stopped. “It’s like Final Destination 3!” someone screamed. Dan and Phil clutched each other’s hands, holding on as if they were keeping each other together. Because they were. 

An announcement came over the coaster’s loudspeaker. “The ride has obviously shut down, but workers will arrive to get you off the train as soon as possible.” 

Dan looked at Phil, still gripping his hand. “Are we okay?”

“You’re okay. We’re okay.” 

After about ten minutes, workers appeared on a platform near the front of the train. “We’ll be unlocking your harnesses momentarily. Then, you’ll need to climb to the front of the cart and get out onto this platform.” 

Phil looked at the frightened, pale Dan. “You’ll be okay.” 

The loudspeaker spoke again. “Remain in your seats. The ride may be restarting at any moment.” It was the same announcement that had been repeated a few times for the last ten minutes. However, it was mildly unsettling when the harnesses were released right after. 

Dan and Phil rose, not letting go of each other’s hands. They carefully made their way over the seats, hearts beating. They made it onto the platform and cautiously climbed down the steps. As soon as they hit the ground, they took each other in their arms and held on. “You’re okay.” Phil whispered. 

They regained their cheerful states on the car ride home while listening to Taylor Swift and scream-singing. When they arrived back at Dan’s house, they kissed for a moment before putting their hands together. “Band camp is next month, right?” 

Dan nodded. “I don’t know how I’m going to make it a month without you.” 

“Don’t worry, you will. And we can text. You’ll be okay.”

“Thanks. Until next month…” Dan smiled weakly, slowly sliding his hands away from Phil’s. 

Phil returned to his car, closing the door and peering his head out the window. “You’ll be okay.” And with that, he drove away, out of Dan’s life for the next month. 

A Hard Work’s Night

Dan and Phil fanfiction. Warning: some sexual scenes and some strong language.

It had been a while since Dan worked that late at the cafe. Getting off at eleven was not his particular cup of tea. At least the pay was good. He was off to have a good night’s sleep at his apartment.

Dan woke up in a daze, he seemed sweaty and clammy. He looked down, and his sleep pants were wet. Memories of his dream raced through his head. He sighed, “Not again” he thought. He tried to repress the thoughts of his dream in the shower but it was just no use. “It’s going to be another hard day at work.

Dan arrived, just on time as usual. He walked past the backroom, trying to not pay attention to his manager. 

“Hey, Dan!” A man’s voice called out from inside the office. Dan grimaced, just who he didn’t want to talk to.

Dan popped his head in, trying to avoid eye contact. “Yes?”

“Marsha called in tonight, I was wondering if you could work a few hours over.” 

“Yeah, sure. No problem.” Dan replied, his voice monotone and his eyes looking down.

Just as Dan was getting ready to walk out of the room, “Oh, and Dan?” Dan looked at his manager “Shit shit shit shit”. “Yeah?” “Keep up the good work!” His manager replied with a thumbs up. Dan nodded and walked out of the room, his face as red as a tomato.

He wasn’t sure what it was, but something about that man really got to him. He could never look straight in his face without getting extremely flustered. The day went on, and Dan worked alone in solitude, taking care of customers, avoiding his manager, just the way he liked it. 

“I wanted cheese on this, you dumbass!” A customer exclaimed at him, throwing the plate down on the table and breaking it into pieces. “I-I’m sorry, sir. I can get you a new one if you like.” Dan responded calmly. “Hell no! I don’t want anything from you!” The customer stormed out. It was late and Dan was tired. He was glad that was the last customer of the night. “That customer left no tip. Not surprising.” 

This wasn’t like Dan, but he was come over with such strong feelings such as aggression and sadness. This wasn’t the only rude customer he had today. Usually he just brushes it off, but tonight it really got to him. Holding back tears, Dan ran into the solitary bathroom in the back and started crying. 

A few moments later, after he had calmed down a bit, Dan heard a knock on the door. “Hello?” His manager called out. “Is anyone in there?” Dan unlocked the door, his eyes still a bit puffy from crying.

“Dan, are you okay?” The manager asked, looking at him extremely concerned. “Yeah, I’m fine.” Dan replied, wiping his eyes, still trying to avoid eye contact. “Just a bad day I guess.”

His manager put his hand on Dan’s shoulder, forcing Dan to look up at him, which he knew was an immediate mistake. He took in what he was looking at. A tall, slim man, finely dressed in black slacks and a white button up long sleeve shirt. That shirt brought out the starkness in his ocean blue eyes. Dan bit his lip, trying to force the feelings inside away, but it didn’t stop his face from getting red.

“It’ll be okay, Dan.” His manager smiled, Dan smiled back. “And I know what would make you feel better.” The manager slammed the door shut and locked it. Turning to Dan, he pressed his lips hard against his, almost pinning Dan to the wall.

Eyes wide open in shock, the kiss was broken. Phil looked worried, that he may have crossed a line. “Oh my god, I’m so sorry. I didn’t- I thought…just forget this ever happened.” He started to unlock the door, but Dan stopped his hand. “How…how did you know?” Dan asked. Phil laughed a little, “Well, you made it pretty obvious.” Phil kissed Dan again, a little more passionately this time and Dan wasn’t afraid to give back.

An exchange of kisses led to an intense make out session, Dan pressed up against the wall with his legs around Phil’s waist, vigorously running his finger’s through his dark black hair. Phil pulled away, giving small kisses to Dan’s jawbone and neck. “We won’t” Dan cleared his throat “We won’t get in trouble for this, will we?” “No, not at all.” Phil replied, only pulling away from the kisses to respond. “As long as we both want it.” Phil paused, looking up at Dan. “You want it, right?” He asked hesitantly. “Oh god, yes.” Phil smirked and resumed administering kisses.

Soon, Dan’s bowtie was untied, laying on the tile floor along with his shirt and belt. The kisses continued, slowly going from Dan’s neck, all the way to the top of his pants. His breathing started to get heavy, from anticipation and nervousness. Phil slowly unbuckled his pants, kissing the brim of Dan’s boxers. He slid Dan’s pants all the way to his ankles. Phil slowly started taking Dan’s boxers off, kissing the skin as he went.

With both Dan’s pants and boxers at his ankles, Phil gently grabbed Dan’s cock and licked the tip of it. Dan moaned, his eyes rolling back into his head. Slowly, Phil put the whole of Dan’s penis in his mouth and began sucking, bobbing his head back and forth, and swirling his tongue around the shaft. Dan’s breathing was rigid. “P-phil.” He moaned, thrusting himself more into the man’s mouth. Phil sucked and started gradling Dan’s testicles in his hands, playing with them. Dan’s knees shook, and they about made him buckle over.”Phil, I can’t take it.” He slid down the wall, now sitting on the floor still with his cock in Phil’s mouth,

Phil stroked and sucked on Dan’s cock, every so often grasping his balls. Dan moaned, his breathing getting faster. He clung to everything he could, Phil’s hair, his shirt on the floor. “Fuck!” Dan screamed as Phil took his whole cock in his mouth again, slowly swirling his tongue around the shaft. “P-phil” Dan stammered. His body began to shake, and he scrunched up his face, moaning loudly as well, cumming straight into Phil’s mouth.

He moaned loudly, the noise echoing off the tile walls. They were both glad the cafe was empty except for the two of them. Dan’s breathing hitched, he hadn’t felt this good in, well, ever. He slowly brought Phil’s lips up to his, kissing him hard and passionately. He wanted all of him, all of him now. Dan pulled away from the kiss slightly. “Fuck me.” He whispered, digging his nails into Phil’s back. Phil moaned out of pain, but part of it made him want Dan even more. 

The two men continued to kiss with Dan eagerly tugging on Phil’s belt. Phil laughed “Be patient, baby.” Phil let Dan slowly remove his belt, and unbutton his pants. Dan thrusted his hand down Phil’s pants, grabbing Phil’s firm cock. Phil grimaced, out of pain and pleasure. “God damnit, Dan.” He smirked and took Dan’s hand in his own. “I said be patient.” Phil smiled and gave a kiss to Dan’s pouty face. “But I want you now.” Dan whined, now removing every inch of clothing he had on, laying down on them and avoiding the cold bathroom floor. He laid out, anxiously almost overbearingly waiting for Phil. 

He whimpered, watching Phil slowly remove his pants, then his boxers. He squirmed a little, moaning in anticipation. Phil met Dan on the floor and began kissing him. Dan grabbed Phil’s dick and started stroking it slowly. Phil moaned against Dan’s lips, his cock slowly getting wet. He knew that’s what Dan wanted. Phil pulled away, licking two of his fingers, he slowly pushed them in Dan. Dan whimpered, “Oh god, Phil.” Phil took some of his own wetness and added it to his fingers, slowly lubricating Dan’s hole. Dan bit his lip, wanting Phil inside him now more than ever. Phil went up and met Dan with a kiss, slowly opening Dan’s legs as wide as they’d go comfortably and thrusting himself in Dan.

 Dan moaned, Phil took him a bit by surprise. Phil began thrusting and rocking them both back and forth. The two’s breathing for hard, the rougher they became. Phil suddenly hit Dan’s prostate, causing him to squirm and moan louder than he had previously. “Phil! Fuck!” He exclaimed, swirling his hips to get more of a feeling. “Oh god, oh god.” He whimpered, slowly losing his self control. As Phil thrusted, Dan ran his fingernails on Phil’s back, edging them a bit closer every time.

 Phil moaned, Dan’s wetness and whimpering making him crazy. “Phil, Phil I-I’m gonna…ohh.” Dan threw his head back, digging his nails into Phil’s back. “Harder, harder.” He whimpered and Phil followed his orders. Gently rubbing Dan’s prostate with his cock, he could feel Dan getting closer. “Phil, oh my god!” Dan whimpered as Phil found his sweet spot. 

Hitting it with every thrust, Dan clenched his whole body, arching his back and throwing his head back. Dan screamed out Phil’s name and moaned as he orgasmed, cumming all over their chests. Dan clenching up so hard made Phil orgasm, “Mmm, Dan.” He moaned as he felt himself release. The two, breathless, lied next to each other on the floor. They turned over and met each other with a kiss. “I guess work wasn’t too bad today.” Dan thought.

Child's Play

New chaptered phanfic! (The rewritten version of my first ever phanfic)

Description: Phil Lester knows only one thing in life: how to keep his dad satisfied so he doesn’t just take what he wants, because that’s so much worse than doing it himself.

Dan Howell’s life turned from abusive purgatory to hell when his dad learnt his worst secret. Hurting himself seems to be the easiest way of coping.

Usually they only pass each other in the hall - two characters trying to fade into the background - but once Phil notices the marks on the other’s wrists their lives start entwining, learning that there’s more to relationships than intimacy and misplaced trust.

However, before was child’s play. Cars, ropes, blindfolds, familiar men. They know it’s easier when you don’t fight.

WN: smut, bdsm, rape, incest, child abuse (verbal/physical/sexual), self-harm, high school au, fluff though.



Daddy loved him. That’s what he told him anyway. His daddy loved him very much and didn’t mean to hurt him - it was only, he loved him so much that the pain Phil felt meant he knew it.

That was before. Those were the times of sweet kisses and gentle touches and passionate nights. Those were the times of Phil’s youth - when he was too little and suggestive and did as he was told because he kept believing that was what daddies did with their sons to express their love.

Now Phil just felt dirty.

He’d learnt too soon what his dad was really forcing him through and that was when the threats began: if Phil didn’t do as he was told then his dad would take what he wanted and punish Phil later. So he did as he was told; he became his dad’s whore.

Quick, rough blow jobs before school and painful sex before bed. Holidays were worse. He’d gone so far. He’d done so much and he wasn’t even sixteen yet. Well, it was his birthday tomorrow. The law on legal sex never really meant much to him anyway.


Phil woke on his own, already cringing and regretting the day ahead - unique occasions always meant something special from daddy and from experience that meant more psychological damage than physical pain. Tiptoeing downstairs in just his boxers (because his dad had never let him wear anything more to bed), Phil yawned as he entered the living room, being met with his dad sprawled out on the sofa giving Phil a sly grin.

“Hey, baby. It’s a special day, isn’t it?”

Phil nodded, quickly glancing away and attempting to escape into the kitchen but they both knew that wasn’t going to happen.

“I’ve got a great day planned for you. Come here,” he reached down to undo his belt buckle and Phil cringed. “I know how much you like daddy’s cock. Today, you can have it. It’s all yours.” He straightened his back, beckoning Phil over with a subtle hand gesture and Phil could do nothing but move forward, kneeling in front of his dad and unzipping him. His trousers came down easily and his underwear quickly met them, there was no point wasting time with teasing, and his hand clasped around his dad’s throbbing half-hard length. He moved his hand fast, his mouth quickly taking his head and working expertly to give the man what he wanted. His exclamations of pleasure were loud as his fist gripped his son’s hair and soon he was done, leaving Phil yet again with that horribly familiar taste on his tongue. Rushing to the kitchen to flush out his mouth then hurrying to school, Phil knew the worst was yet to come.


Everything was routine until his eighteenth - his birthday was a Thursday, meaning his dad was planning to keep him up all night with god knows what torture but at least there was nothing in the morning. Just an ordinary day at school, then, to build up the anxiety.

Well that was the plan. Except it became the day that Dan fell into his life.

It was only a light bump on the shoulder, just an unnoticeable nudge, but for some reason the other boy flinched violently and leapt away, stumbling over a few feet before collapsing unceremoniously to the floor. People in the corridor turned as he fell, quietly sniggering to themselves because one of ‘those’ people had just landed on the floor. Phil glanced down and before he could stop himself apologies were dribbling from his lips.

“Oh god, I’m really sorry. I-I didn’t see you, I’m sorry!”

Everyone was staring now and Phil just felt awkward and uncomfortable with so many eyes on him but at least he wasn’t on the floor. The boy he had walked into was keeping his head down so his hair would hide his shame, and he made one effort to push himself up before collapsing back to the floor. The sad thing was, only Phil heard him wince. As though the sound was a trigger Phil found himself immediately kneeling down and reaching out a hand.

“H-here. Let me help you stand.”

The boy looked up briefly, confused, only one dark eye showing through his fringe, but he reached his arm up to clutch onto the offered one and let his head fall down again. Phil smiled to himself at the small act of trust and brought his other hand to grip the boy’s elbow as he pulled him up. Unfortunately as he did so he pushed the boy’s sleeve up slightly and then he knew.

Thin, tiny scars across his fragile wrist.

He pulled his eyes up as fast as he could and pretended not to notice. Once the boy had regained his balance he gave Phil a small nod and ran off. And that was it. That was the first time they met. That was all it took for Phil to approach his table of one at lunch.

“Hey.” He spoke timidly after about a minute of contemplation. The boy looked up at him, once again with one eye hidden by his chestnut fringe, and a spark of recognition and relief flashed across it.

“H-hey…” he responded, equally as timid, then turned his attention back to the tray of food he wasn’t eating. Phil stood there awkwardly for a moment before blurting out “can I sit here?” possibly too loudly and slowly the boy nodded. Letting out a short nervous breath Phil took his seat opposite the other and rested his arms on the table.

So…“ he tried to start, "what’s your name?”

The other responded without lifting his head. “I’m Dan.” He went quiet for a moment, flicking his eyes up to Phil once then back down so fast Phil was sure he would have missed the movement if he’d blinked. “What’s yours?”

“I’m Phil. Why are you alone? Do you like being alone?” Dan took a while to answer, constantly keeping his eyes trained downwards.

“It’s better than trying to fit in. At least people don’t disturb me when I’m alone.” And Phil nodded, because he knew. People like them, the rejects, they all knew.

“Would you mind if I sat here every lunch? It’s just…I get a little lonely and you’re not as much of a talker as the other people I’ve tried to hang out with.” Phil let his volume lower. “Sometimes I just want a quiet comfortable presence.” And Dan nodded in agreement.

“If you want. You don’t seem like you’d be a bother. Hey,” and he raised his head so for the first time both of his eyes were visible. “do you want any of this?” he pushed his tray of untouched food forward slightly, “I have to buy it but I never eat anything.”

Phil shook his head but thanked him politely- he wasn’t one for eating either - and Dan shrugged, pushing his tray to the end of the table, discarded. As he clasped his hands together and leaned forward Phil realised this was the longest he had every looked at Phil for and he hadn’t broken eye contact yet. “So why didn’t you laugh at me earlier?”

“W-what?” Phil stuttered, feeling a little stupid for it.

“Why did you help me? Why didn’t you just blend in and laugh with everyone else? Would’ve been easier…”

Phil feigned offense. “Excuse me? Why didn’t I laugh at the person who I practically pushed onto the floor-” (he knew he wasn’t even close to pushing him) “-and why did I help that person up, after I’d made them fall on the floor? Gee, I dunno Dan, maybe I’m just a good person.” He smiled after, letting Dan know he wasn’t serious and he smiled back.

“Maybe you are…” Dan finally averted his eyes, blushing. “Just stay like that, yeah?”

“I’ll try…” He mumbled back, looking away to hide his blush which had crept up from nowhere.

After that, they just talked. Then sat in a comfortable silence. Then chatted some more. Phil had never become so easily comfortable with someone in such a short amount of time, and when the bell finally rang they both looked up at each other and groaned in annoyance before stifling some unexpected giggles because they’d both had the same reaction. Turned out they were in the same year but were hardly in the same classes. They had art together but Phil wasn’t surprised that neither had noticed the other before; art was a lesson for the introverted and dedicated, and those who wanted to work in silence could easily isolate themselves and work away.

Unfortunately Art was not next - English was. Great. Phil mumbled a quick 'see ya’ to Dan before rushing “tomorrow, yeah?” and Dan looked back and nodded, for the first time confidently. “Yeah. Same place.” which sparked a tiny warming fire in Phil’s stomach (and probably his cheeks) then they finally parted ways. The only thing that could make his smile fall was the realisation that once he got home… He shivered, and the comforting fire in his belly was quickly extinguished and frozen over with dread.


As Phil closed the front door behind him all he heard was a rushed “get yourself ready, babe, and be on that bed in five.” He didn’t need to be told twice; shaking as he always was, Phil scurried to his room and promptly removed his clothes before laying across his bed and grabbing a bottle of lube. The stretching was never an issue but any intrusion was not welcome. Once properly prepared Phil made his nervous way to his dad’s room, where his worst memories hid, and he positioned himself on the edge of the bed, heart pounding like it always did.

When the door opened Phil looked up and realised he was not emotionally ready for this (as usual). His father grinned at him and walked over to meet their lips roughly, and Phil gave in like he always did and kissed back. Large familiar hands worked their way up his back and yanked him closer, gripping his shoulders and forcing his tongue into his mouth. Phil cringed internally and as he felt himself being pushed onto the bed he forced his mind to drift to somewhere pleasant, anywhere but here. Warm hands were travelling up his thighs- how about that video we watched in Physics today? Rough lips and burning breath were on his chest- remember that cat you saw crossing the road this morning? That cat that nearly got run over…

It didn’t work. It never did. His hands were being tugged above his head and a pair of handcuffs were clinking around; his dad was always extra kinky on special occasions. With two clicks his wrists were secured to the banister, trapping Phil here until it was over.  His eyes watched nervously as those paw-like hands held a blindfold and secured it over his eyes and Phil was a little scared. He always was, even though he was eighteen, but it was going to hurt and his eyes were going to leak and his mind was going to be scarred.

Think about Dan. That boy you met today…with his dangling chestnut hair and fringe that hung over his eyes - eyes, those eyes that stared at Phil like he was a deity. And when he laughed, when Phil made him laugh and that small dent in his cheek would appear and it was so cute and unique and Phil had caused it. There was pain, far away, a dull ache below and pressure on his neck but Phil didn’t care. He was finally distant. All he could comprehend was a muffled “happy birthday, babe” and he was snapped back to reality because any other night he could do this, just not the one annual day when the attention was all on him.

Chapter 2

title: vegas lights
2012 is not going as planned, but phil still takes dan to vegas for his 21st birthday, the city that is said to hold adventure, risk and fortune – and maybe a flimsy hope for conciliation?
the holy trinity (angst/smut/fluff)
alcohol, oral sex, 2012
“You still haven’t told me what you wanted”, Phil says low.
“I knew you wouldn’t give it to me if I asked for it”, Dan mutters, “so I went and got it for myself, last night”

vegas lights is also a song by panic! at the disco that you can listen to here (i have never written/posted smut before so i’m sorry if this is bad)

When Dan’s voicemail answers for the 17th time, Phil actually throws his phone across the room. It tumbles over his bed and drops to the floor behind it with a sickening thud.
Not remotely satisfying. Smashing the hotel suite would rather represent his feelings right now. And Phil’s not usually a violent person.
It’s Dan’s fault, he reminds himself. All of it.
Their plane has landed in Las Vegas six hours ago. Now it’s 11 pm, but according to Phil’s body clock that still goes by London time it’s seven in the morning, and he hasn’t slept. The jetlag is getting to him and he just wants to go to sleep, but Dan isn’t answering his phone.

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Tried to find a second gif to add for this part but I failed; aside from Thor, no other characters took real precedence. Ah well, I’m not too fussed. In fact I’m pretty proud of this chapter and just you guys wait for the next one - I hope it’ll be just as good. Once I’ve finished Stolen, I’ll return to requests but right now I’m loving this plot too much to do anything else. @vastudent3, @doctor13th, and @meganlpie were looking forward to this. So enjoy, my darlings!

Prompt:  YAY!! Just read part 6 and thank you! Idk if I’ve told you this already, but you are one of my favorite writers!


Nice one! Tony’s introduction was hella good. 

Stolen (Part 7)

Part 6

You had never thought that you lived in the fast lane, but now there was no denying it. Everything in the Avengers Towers seemed to run at double the speed, and it put your old life to shame. You had presumed that the life of a billionaire was relaxed and luxurious, but it seemed that Tony was up every day at the crack of dawn – building things, fixing the tower, sometimes even just sitting in the lab and looking at paperwork. He really cared about putting his life back together, regaining some normality.

Of course you wouldn’t have known all of this if you hadn’t also been awake. At first you were restless in your new quarters, and the overwhelming comfort of the expensive mattress kept your eyes from staying closed. Then it began to feel more like insomnia. You simply couldn’t sleep when you felt like you should be looking over your shoulder for Loki all the time. You could picture him in your home, you could picture yourselves talking as if he wasn’t a monster, so it was all too easy for you to picture him appearing out of nowhere in your new home.

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fic: every galaxy tells a story

title: every galaxy tells a story

warnings: nc-17. contains light smut and references to depression

word count: 1800

summary: He’s gone, Dan realises, he’s completely and utterly submerged in Phil and he never wants to resurface, because if this is drowning in somebody then he’s glad that he never bothered to learn to swim. 

(or, the AU one where Phil has tattoos everywhere and Dan is addicted and wants to know the stories behind every single one as they lie in bed.)

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