I was talked into re-making an Asura, as the only race I don’t have. So, in memory of poor Ricki, my first elementalist and my first Asura… I made an elementalist Asura! (Shocker.)

Her name is Phiixi, and she’s adorable. The male Asura to her right is her brother, Rygyn (played by a friend of mine.) And Phiixi is totally responsible for their interesting hair colours. Rygyn, meanwhile, is responsible for the creation of a cube that has the ability to say “Crackers” and can cook food, as well as spit out anything not-food at dangerously high speeds.

Don’t believe them when they call themselves geniuses. Not yet, anyway.

Phiixi often berated her krewe, not for the sake of being nasty or pushy but often due to the fact she felt very much like there was a waste of potential at every unnecessary failure. And, while some might have argued failure was a necessary component to success, Phiixi liked to think that some failures were utterly avoidable. As such, she had often found herself wishing for a more competent krewe; one that saw less failure than her own and one that had a better grasp of work management and organisation.

She had never really expected the dream to come true, and much less at the hands of Godott - an older Asura who had taken her on if only as an emergency resort and had subsequently become a mentor of sorts. Yet, here she was. Godott’s words were echoing in her head as she stood there and looked out across his lab.

“I’m making you acting krewe leader. I trust that you can run the lab better than that golem of yours…”

It was still his lab, but now in a way, it was her own. Still his krewe, yet now somehow oddly hers. As she stood there and looked at it, and at the Asura who were busying themselves with their jobs or with idle chatter, it was both exhilarating… and maybe a little scary.

Now is your chance, Phiixi! The odds are one hundred percent in your favour to impress Godott when he returns and secure a permanent place on his krewe! The chances of you mucking this up are only currently at twenty-two-point-seven-nine-one.

Beside her, Phiixi’s dysfunctional golem beeped. The noise made her jump and take several steps away from it, if only because beeping from the golem often acted as a precursor to a small explosion. Yet, nothing; it stood there innocently as if it hadn’t been fighting her every step of the way to try and make it beyond dysfunctional. Phiixi gave it a frown.

“I can’t afford to be skittish now. The Alchemy be damned if I mess this up; I need to just… take this into my hands! I can do this; I’ve run a krewe before,” she said to herself, plucking at strands of courage. “I can take those odds! I’ve had worse odds. This will be as easy as building a golem!”

The dysfunctional golem beeped again and Phiixi blinked. “That was a bad example. But I know I can do this.” She paused and took a deep breath, hands clenching at her sides. She could do this. There was no reason she couldn’t. And with that slightly overzealous logic, Phiixi found herself smiling, and she pointed to a nearby group of Asura chattering about something not of any importance or relevance.

“You! Make sure the central chamber of this lab is fit for experimentation by the afternoon; we’re expecting a delivery and I won’t accept sloppiness when it arrives.”


“And somebody find me a golemancer!”

“I’m not particularly fond of golemancy if only because my talents are far better spent in biological, biochemical, elemental and neurological fields - but when the chance arose for me to try my hand at building a replica Mr. Sparkles with a few… limitations, well I simply had to try. As it happens, building the structure to a golem is easy, and making it mobile is even easier. Making it a functional piece of equipment capable of anything remotely more useful than buzzing out a few nonsensical words and behaving like an addled skritt, on the other hand, is probably why golemancy is even a necessary field of research at all.

Oh well. At least I have a toy to tinker with.”

Welcome back to: Breaking Metrica Province with Phiixi.

This episode: The Funhouse! Also known as wow this place is actually really pretty????

Fun fact: I’m running along the edge of Metrica listening to SnK Titan music so I feel VERY BADASS and like I’m urgently trying to get places without falling into chasms of doom I can’t see because of no-collision textures.