phiaisms

“Mommy, do you wanna see this?" 

*Mommy freaks out - "Ahhhh!!! Why do you do this to me?”

“It just tickles my heart to freak you out Mommy”

And then when it was time to go to bed:

“Come on Phia, it’s time to get ready for bed”

“No. I’m gonna sleep up here like a bat”

Spelling Bee
  • Phia:How do you spell "B"?
  • Daddy:Well the letter "B" is just "B" but the animal Bee is spelled B.E.E. And there is also another kind of "B" like "what do you want to 'be' when you grow up?" that is just spelled B.E.
  • Phia:Oh... what do you want to be when you grow up, Daddy?
  • Daddy:LOL, silly, I'm already grown up and I'm an engineer.
  • Phia:No you're not because you don't say "all aboard!"
  • Daddy:That's because I'm not a train engineer; I'm an environmental engineer.
  • Phia:Do "umbrella engineers" take care of kids?
  • Daddy:No, environmental engineers take care of the environment.
  • Phia:Awww, I wanted you to be my parent when you grow up.
Proof of the existence of God...
  • Daddy:Turn off the water when you're brushing your teeth.
  • Phia:Why? It doesn't matter.
  • Daddy:Yes, water is a precious resource. *gets sanctimonious* Wasting water is a sin and "God" would be upset if there was a god.
  • Phia:God IS real, Daddy!
  • Daddy:Okay, well, that's just your opinion.
  • Phia:Well, I know because actually God can be kind of a joker. I had so many bruises on my shin and I said to God, "All I need is one more bruise" and then I got one one more bruise! And I was like, "Really, God! I didn't mean literally!" So, that's my proof.
The Scientific Method

We were discussing the scientific method a bit since Phia is going to play the role of scientist in her school presentation about gravity:

Phia: I have another hypopithis!
Daddy: Oh yeah, what?
Phia: I think lions don’t get thorns in their paws, even when they run really fast, because they have pads on there feet. Do you wanna know how I’m gonna test it?
Daddy: How?
Phia: I’m gonna ride on a lion when I’m a teenager.