tbh Valentina could literally strangle Alexis Michelle and Farrah Moan with her bare hands and she'd still be my fave
Like fuck off. She’s a 100% Slytherin Ice Queen and she has been from the beginning and that is EXACTLY why I love her. She was calculating in a way that was exciting and admirable. The other girls were jealous that she came into the competition and got a ridiculous following. Congrats to Valentina for getting an assured All Stars 3 slot in the role of Phi Phi O’Hara/Roxxxy Andrews
With season 8 coming up, it’s time to remember how the show turns complex, real people into easily distinguishable characters for your entertainment. Study and see who you can pick out this time around! .
This queen is flawless. She can do no wrong and seems to excel at every challenge. Even if she has to lipsync, she will be the best lipsyncher ever. A good edit will humanize her, giving her a moment of generosity or two, handing her the crown. A bad one will play up her ego and make you wish her death, leaving her dead in the top 4/top 3.
Examples: Bianca Del Rio, Raja, Courtney Act, Chad Michaels
She may not always win, but goddamn you love her any way. She’s fun, she’s quotable, she’s your best friend in the competition. Of all the contestants she will have the most pronounced arc and wind up in the top 3. That being said, only one of them has ever won.
Examples: Jujubee, Jinkx Monsoon, Adore Delano, Pearl (yup, she had the most pronounced arc of the season and everyone wanted her. Deal with it)
Not always a winner, but a strong competitor nonetheless. That’s not the reason you like her though: you like her because her confessionals kick ass. She’ll be hilarious as fuck, or otherwise lend commentary that amps up the fun. She won’t win, but strange how voting always starts when she gets eliminated.
Examples: Latrice Royale, Ben DelaCreme, Katya, Pandora Boxx
She’s not the best in the competition, but she keeps surviving elimination. Why? She provides the most drama. This queen wreaks havoc and causes chaos. You won’t like her, but you’ll blog the shit out of her fights and tune in intently to watch her fall. Every Ace or Personality needs a good bitch against them.
Examples: Phi Phi O’Hara, Rebecca Glasscock, Gia Gunn
What is wrong with this girl? She seems to lose her shit at a moment’s notice. She takes everything way too personally and makes such a production when there shouldn’t be. She’ll called out for being fake and it will take her a LONG time to recover publicly.
Examples: Mimi Imfurst, Langanja Estranja, Max
THE EYE CANDY
They are there to be seen and thirsted after. Regardless of their talent, people will only think about doing them in or out of drag. Sadly, they won’t win because the show won’t flesh them out, and they will be gone when producers want to show that the game is getting tougher. Expect an outcry, but trust that they will have a solid career and a YouTube show with WoW after the fact.
Examples: Milk, Trixie Mattel, Carmen Carrera
Can’t seem to win a damn challenge, but can never go home. Why? Because her lipsynch is fucking FLAWLESS. She gets every word, nails every beat, does splits, spread eagles, back flips, flip flops one right after another. Pity she can’t bring this to the competition, where she’s too insecure or unprepared. She’ll be sent home after three performances, barring circumstances.
Examples: Coco Montrese, Akashia, Jaidynn Diore Fierce, Trinity K. Bonet
THE OLD WASHOUT
Oh the poor dear. It’s clear that she’s a talented queen, but unfortunately she’s OLD. She may be a pro at pre ’90s styles of drag, but younger queens/viewers won’t get them. Worse, the competition will be stacked against them. A nude challenge tailored to younger bodies? A lipsynch by an ex-Disney star who still sounds like a kid? Sorry, once you’re over 40 the edit is not in your favor.
She’s weird. You have no idea how she says what she says, but you cannot stop listening to her. Not a winner, but definitely a novelty. The most GIF-worthy queen of the season. May overlap with other archetypes, but you’ll remember her for this.
Examples: Tammie Brown, Alyssa Edwards, Miss Fame
THE FILLER QUEEN
The edit doesn’t care how talented she is- she’s quieter and not as big as the other girls. She’s going home early and will be forgotten quickly. She definitely doesn’t deserve it, but with so many contestants someone has to get screwed.
Examples: Phoenix, April Carrion, Kandy Ho, India Ferrah
A/N: More than meats the pie is a spin off of the critically acclaimed series, Trixie’s day out. I always related to the character of Sharron Needles in the first edition, she only had 2 lines but god they were powerful. As someone who regularly pops into greggs for a pastie here and there, this fic gave me the shivers.