pets with my book,

Because of the dog’s joyfulness, our own is increased. It is no small gift. It is not the least reason why we should honor as well as love the dog of our own life, and the dog down the street, and all the dogs not yet born. What would the world be like without music or rivers or the green and tender grass? What would this world be like without dogs?
—  Mary Oliver, “Dog Songs”

i’m at coffee and there’s this super super cute guy sitting at the table next to me he has like total frank ocean vibes but he’s with this gross ass white guy who is literally talking nonstop. like the one time the cute guy tried to say something the other guy interrupted him. and when i tried to plug in my laptop charger i was like trying to get past the gross guys’ backpack and the cute guy was like “oh sorry about that” and the gross guy just like grabs his backpack and is all “uh maybe i’ll just move this so you don’t trip and hurt us” and the cute guy was like “or yourself” and i’m just confused why is he hanging out with such an asshole he deserves better

Ballad Of An Introvert

There are so many moments that I can’t share with others.
There are so many feelings, familiar smells and unique colours
only I seem to feel, smell and see,
through which I feel like being me.

There are so many seconds that seem to last for hours,
there are so many thoughts that are only mine, not ours
and that I cherish like my new born child
and in my head they’re running wild.

There are so many winter nights I feel the warmth inside of me.
There are so many candles lit while I blow on my tea.
And when it is so silent, that I can hear my heartbeat,
I feel at ease and time just tastes so sweet.

There are so many fears, so many worries and much pain
that I can’t quite work out, can’t quite explain.
But all that is fine in the end, when I can just be with myself,
don’t ask if I’m alright alone, I know I won’t need someone else.

There are so many jokes and talks I have with only me.
This is a good thing in my eyes, liking yourself that is the key.
Sharing secrets with myself? I’m sure I won’t tell them.
Because I trust myself and forgive me for mistakes over and again.

There are so many beautiful things; if just a smile, that is enough
that make me happy to live to see them, even when my day is tough.
And I feel like an audience, the world is this small movie theatre
across the street where they have just the special films, which are all the greater.

And when I then come home, I change in my pyjamas,
cuddle my pets, hide in my bed where there is never drama.
My favourite books and TV shows, my music and delicious food
is all I need then for my heart to feel way more than good.

I keep a handful of inspiring quotes above my desk to keep me writing, to encourage me to do everything I can every day to reach my dreams. Adding this advice from SJM to the wall. There will be hard days. There will be days when it feels like my dream is impossible to reach. But I won’t stop writing. I won’t let the dark thoughts drag me down. I will not stop dreaming. 

Don’t let the hard days win. 

anonymous asked:

Real question. How can you support sjm and her books (I made myself read them sine everyone talks about them and they are racist af and culturally appropriative, particularly ACOMAF) while also blogging so much about POC and representation? You do you, but as a woman of color I'm real confused by that.

I’ve spoken about this a lot. I have many problems with SJM’s books. I have problems with her poc involvement specifically and her ‘cultural appropriation’. (If I can find the questions I’ve answered already on this topic, i’ll link them, but I mostly went in depth this past summer.)

As for ACOMAF, there is definitely cultural appropriation but in a loose form of the definition. “Cultural appropriation is the adoption or use of the elements of one culture by members of another culture. Cultural appropriation may be perceived as controversial or harmful, notably when the cultural property of a minority group is used by members of the dominant culture without the consent of the members of the originating culture.” - wikipedia. In my opinion, what SJM is doing is not exactly cultural appropriation. I think she took ideas of different cultures and made them into her ‘own’ world. Now, I’m not saying she didnt misuse information. I think there is loose appropriation in the books. But I don’t think we can assign it to cultural appropriation. This isnt me saying that there arent problems with the books. There most definitely is. But I think giving this a fair shake is important (and if you know me, I love being unfair and small things can make me pop off - especially when regarding race). I also think she tried to avoid that at all costs? She hinted towards the appropriation of culture in clothing, food, and setting specifically. But I feel like she really did try to dodge that fat bullet.

I dont see acotar or acomaf being racist. I see problems in it, of course, but I don’t see it as being racist in the slightest. I see people that misinterpret the book (like making Rhys and other Ilyrians white) as racism and white washing, but i dont see the book as being racist. Now, if Rhys, Cass, Amren, and Az were actually terrible characters, or shown in that light to the protagonist, then yes, I would say automatically, this is racist as fucking hell. But I dont see that. 

However, one thing that has bothered me about acomaf was specifically the treatment of the summer court. I’ve explained this before in another post which I’ll have to find. It’s not how she depicted the summer court or the people in it. In fact, I felt it was beautifully articulated. But I absolutely HATE the treatment of Tarquin. It is one of my biggest fucking pet peeves of the book. I love how she made his character, but I despise how Feyre and Rhys treated him. I am not so sure that is boiled down to race though (and again, I’m easily one to say it is. But in this instance, i’m not so sure). 

Now, I can go ALL FUCKING DAY, about Nehemia. ALL. FUCKING. DAY. Because that STILL pisses me off. I don’t care how fucking strong of a character she was, I dont care how beloved she is now, she was still a person of color that killed her fucking self to FURTHER the white characters narrative. That will forever fucking piss me off. Her AND Sorcha. (I went into an entire rant about it. I’ll have to find them though)

With all that said and done, I think an important question to keep in mind is how deep do we get into things like this? If SJM was a woman that only wrote about white characters, we would be up in arms, calling her racist, and that she hates poc. If she wrote about only poc characters, being a white woman, we would be saying that shes being culturally appropriative, that she doesnt understand, that she should stay in her lane, etc. 

SJM is a woman that is writing about people while I think, trying her best to be inclusive and diverse. Shes a fucking white woman writing about it though. i don’t expect it to be perfect. But as a white woman, no matter what she does, no matter what she writes about, shell be criticized by being either too white, or too out of her lane. Like, anything she does, she will literally be criticized for it and the only way she wouldnt be, is if she was a person of color. (I guess she gets a narrow - extremely narrow- glimpse of what we feel).

These are just my opinions. I know people wont agree. But this is why I, a mixed (black and armenian), bi, woman, who makes social/political art based around race in her daily life, read sjm books (Specifically acotar. I’ve fallen off of the ToG bandwagon. EoS didnt jazz me and I’m still fucking pissed about Nehemia after all these years). I would love for this to open up a dialogue though. You can tell me I’m wrong, that’s fine. I would love to hear other people’s opinions - especially people of color. 

My low-key budget altar

So I promised to post some more personal stuff and what better way to start things off with some pics of my altar!

I’m a secular witch so I don’t deal with any deities. My altar is simply composed of things that have significant meaning to me.
Almost all stuff I’ve gathered over the years were either gifts, finds, diy or bargain bin and thrift shop scores.

My altar is set up on the windowsill in my art-room. It’s the one place in the house that actually feels like it’s mine. We live in my parent’s in law’s house (who currently are living elsewhere) so I don’t have any input in the interior design (And let me tell you, MIL’s taste in stuff is absolutely HIDEOUS)
This whole room is pretty much my altar, It’s my witch cave XD

I have a thing for butterflies (dead ones, alive ones are pretty but I still find them rather unnerving. They have too many legs and are too flappy) I don’t know exactly why and how but I’ve been drawn to them my whole life. It started with the two giant Atlas butterflies in the middle, I inherited those from my Indonesian grandparents when they died 15 years ago. The rest of the butterflies were thriftshop and fleamarket finds (Fun fact:A couple of months ago I found out that my Celtic Animal horoscope was the Butterfly)
Two white candles (pilfered from MIL’s candle stash) in thriftshop copper candleholders (€ 0.25) to represent the Sun and the Moon
The crystal bowl things were inherited from my Dutch grandparents 10 years ago, the rocks, fossils and seashells were lucky finds and gifts from friends and family. The sage plants (except for the succulent on the right) were grown from €1,- seed packs, the lemons come from a forgotten lemon I found in the back of my fridge and the same goes for the apple plantlings. The maple comes from a seed I found in my backyard (Fun fact: I found out last week that my Tree horoscope was Maple)
Also some flowers I picked are drying from the curtain cord thingy XD

Everything I do revolves around the Sun, Moon, Earth and the 4 Elements, my altar represents that as well.

Close up time!

The crystal ball is one of the few things I actually bought, 15 years ago I found it in a rather obscure Chinese shop. In the background is a carved box (inherited) that holds my tarot decks (Rider-Waite: gift, Klimt & Mucha: bought).
The fossils, rocks, seashells and coral were gifts from various people close to me.

The shelves over the desk:

Hideous tea set (pilfered from MIL’s collection) for divination, cheap amethyst cluster found in a pet shop, souped-up A5 binder (my Grimoire) and lined notebook (my Book of Shadows. Not pictured is my Book of Chaos which is a smaller notebook where I brainstorm stuff in and make messy notes)
Bottom row: two glass boxes (gifts) I use for charging and cleansing stuff (contains charging and cleansing sigils, amethyst, clear & rose quartz chips and the other has hematite chips). The eggs in the middle were gifts from MIL (she fricking LOVES this stuff and insists I should too) and they both contain things representing the 4 elements: feathers, seashells, fossils and a tealight. No idea why I did that, it just happened I guess. And in front of them is a scented candle in a tin (gift) with a lighter. I ALWAYS keep lighters everywhere, I’m a smoker so naturally I never have a lighter when I need one.
The artworks in the back were gifts from friends (for the skully/squid print go check out she is the artiest who made it)

The cupboard:

Now here is where the magic happens (lol)
A boatload of ingredients (in recycled jars) for spells and such, some witchy books, teablends for divination, some candles in the back, eeniemeenie cauldron thingy (found) and somewhere back there should be a mortar & pestle and some other tools. The treasure box comes from a fleamarket (chatted up the seller and got it for free) and holds my pendulum collection.

I have one more shelf with a box with all my ‘Sacred’ tools, crystals and more spell stuff but I’m leaving that one for another time since this post is hella long as it is XD

So. That was a quick tour of my witch cave.
In conclusion: Use what you have, don’t spend much money, things will come your way when they need to. Tools do not make the witch, YOU are the witch!


I’m readying The Spectacular Now purely bc this is one of the best information delivering first pages I’ve read in a long time. 

One of my biggest pet peeves is books that stat with “My name is X, I’m X years old and I live in X.” Here we get a truckload of information (This kid is a senior in high school, an alcoholic, doesn’t respect women, etc etc etc) without being spoon fed it. It feels natural but is also really effective at setting the tone and telling you about the character.

Smut Apocalypse Master List

Yes, this is ALL SMUT. You are so very welcome.

One Shots

Spectator Sports (Callie [OFC] x Reader with Sam and Dean - No Wincest)

This Changes Everything (Sam x Reader x OFC)

il Destino di Quattro (Dean x Ana x Sam x Angelina - No Wincest) 

The Promise (Jensen x Nicole - part of the Convention Connection series)

The Simple Things Aren’t Always So Simple 3 - Show Me

NSFW Drabbles

The Proposal (Dean x Reader)

Digging Into The Lore  (Dean x Reader)

Right On Time (Destiel x Reader)

Someday (Jared x Taylor - part of the Girlfriend series by @impalaimagining)

So This Is Heaven  (Dean x Reader x Sam - no Wincest)

You Owe Me  (Dean x Reader)

Sweet Ride  (Dean x Reader)

Ugly Ass Carpet (Sam x Reader)

I Can Hear You (Dean x Reader)

You Missed A Spot (Dean x Reader x Sam - no Wincest)

Don’t Ask Stupid Questions (Sam x Reader)

Sweet Reward  (Dean x Reader)

Not As Good As You (Wincest)

Cum My Pet (Crowley x Reader)

Winter Storm (Dean x Reader)

Book Return (Sam x Reader)

Every Time (Dean x Reader) 

The Five Senses (You Choose x Reader)

Daydreams (Dean x Reader)