pets in drag


i can’t believe Angela Merkel murdered a man live on camera

vernon; drunk on youth (m)

Originally posted by sneezes

genre: fluff/romance and a lil bit of the steamy steam ;)

word count: 8495

characters: Hansol Vernon Chwe/Original Female, bff!Jeonghan + various

prompts: seven(teen) minutes in heaven, university!AU with fraternity!Seventeen, one night stand(?), friends-to-lovers 

*this references to traditional American University Greek life, referring to members as “brothers”, if you’re confused please message me! feelin hella clever that SVT/ ΣΛΤ was managed to be made in the greek alphabet

a happy birthday gift to my sol @vernkn

Hansol Vernon Chwe, she tried to unsuccessfully convince herself, meant nothing to her.

Not when he walked into 18th Century Children’s Literature every Monday and Wednesday, looking like the dead bird her pet cat dragged in when she was three. His ebony strands would stick out like dead twigs, usually muffled by a worn navy baseball cap with the lid twirled behind his neck. He never made a fuss when he entered a minute before the class would start, rushing to the nearest empty desk with his head down, lost in thought. Even though it was an afternoon class, he still managed to look like he walked right out of bed and into lecture.

He meant nothing to her, when he seldom spoke in their seminar, tucked away in the back scribbling notes. Especially not when he’d pipe up for class participation every other blue moon, speaking with sudden austerity about how the English language is so convoluted, his voice strangely comparable to the thickness of raw honey.

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Tiny fic break! Pre-canon.


Aaronev frowned over the latest reports from Passholdt. He shuffled the papers in his stubby hands, squinted through his glasses, exhaled noisily. His son stood at the corner of the desk, still and silent, waiting. Aaronev set his glasses aside and pinched the bridge of his nose between thumb and forefinger.

“Father,” Tarvek said, “if all this… business is so troublesome, why persist?”

Aaronev sat back in his chair, giving his son an appraising stare. “You never forget your first love,” he said.

Ignoring the more revolting implications of his father’s words, Tarvek considered. First love? He found the idea almost laughable. He remembered, oh yes, he did remember. He remembered clasped hands, palm to palm, fingers interlaced, as two small boys trembled in the dark, fearing discovery. He remembered lying together on a high catwalk, feet pointed in opposite directions, head to shoulder, ears just touching as though they might hear one another’s thoughts. He had been so young, too young to understand what he felt.

And he still felt the sting of Gil’s betrayal.

Tarvek succeeded at keeping his expression impassive, for his father scoffed. “I suppose you wouldn’t understand,” Aaronev said.

Tarvek thought of Gil sagging against him on a Paris street, gazing up at him in a drunken daze. He thought of the lingering scent of absinthe, of Gil leaning forward and tilting his face at a most appealing angle, thought of how in that moment he would have traded ten years of his life for just one taste of those tempting lips. But a prince and a nameless miscreant could not make a life together, and Gil’s pet pirate had dragged him off down the street before Tarvek had much opportunity to forget himself anyhow. Could he burn down a continent to make a new world, one in which he and Gil could be together? Probably. He had all the right tools. Would he do it? No, because he had responsibilities, a word apparently foreign to his father.

“No,” Tarvek said, his voice and his expression steady. “I suppose not.”

Puppies (Newt x reader)

Request: Newt and the reader walking threw the mall and then they find the pet store and they spend the rest of the day looking at the puppies. ( also can we add a part where Newt is looking at a puppy and it puts it’s paw up on the glass on top of Newt’s hand and he just sequels and goes OH MY GOSH IT CHOSE ME!!) Summary: I’m lazy so just read the request

____________________________________________ Newt and I were just walking around the local mall. It was full of different muggle shops. Newt saw that there was a muggle pet store and dragged me in to the store. I reluctantly followed because I knew that we would be leaving with a new pet seeming as Newt loves animals. We were looking at the golden retriever puppies when Newt put his hand on the glass. A puppy that was supper small put it’s paw on the glass over his hand and Newt squealed. “Oh my goodness it likes me” he said in an oddly high pitched voice. I just rolled my eyes while he bagged me to get it for him. I tried to tell him he had a whole case of creatures, and if they saw a puppy they would probably eat it. He kept bagging for ten minutes so I gave in. We talked to the person at the counter and adopted the tiny golden puppy. We asked what we need to buy for it. We bought a little more than we need to. Newt got the most expensive dog bed, dog food and toys for the puppy. After we left the store we went back to our shared apartment. I asked Newt what he wanted to name the small puppy. He replied with “ Charlie”. Ok so that was quick. After we got a corner set up for Charlie we sat on the couch with him and talked for hours. ____________________________________________ A/n: thanks for the request sadly the imagine is not that good be cause I wrote it in class. Also I want to thank @deepfriedninja for giving me names for the puppy. Also sorry it’s so short.
If you take in an opossum

If you take in an opossum, always understand they are not a dog or cat. Do not treat them as you would a normal pet. They are also not to be handled roughly as if they’re some dangerous animal, they are not.

#1 To get an opossum from a trap, blow on them. They’ll walk or run away from you, out of the trap and into the pet carrier. Never drag them or put a choke hold on one!!

#2 If you have to set a trap, place the trap on a folded towel, not the ground. Cover the back half of the trap with an old shower curtain in case it rains or even the dew. It also gives them less fear to be able to feel hidden.

#3 Do not scruff them! Their mother does not carry them this way, they do not understand it… to them it means certain death!

#4 If you are holding a tame one who is clinging to you, do not pull it away from you, you risk ripping out its nails! Opossums will hold on to clothing or your hair. Gently open their little hands when you need to put them down or hand them over to someone.

#5 If your home is active, give them a quiet place. Opossums are shy, they do not like a lot of activity, screaming or yelling, or loud music! Turn it down or give them their own room away from it. Do not allow children to “drag” them around.

#6 Do not “correct” or spank them! They have no understanding of this and it’s cruel!

#7 I hope every one knows they do not hang from their tails, they cannot support their weight. Only babies are light enough to do so. Don’t believe the cute photos. It will seriously hurt them.

#8 When you hold them, always hold their tail as well. This will make them feel more secure. If the opossum swings its tail around, it’s desperately trying to hold on to something to feel safe.

#9 Be gentle! Handle them with compassion. You deal with all wildlife, especially opossums, as easy and gentle as you can handle them.

#10 Give them a hiding place. This applies to both babies an adults. A box, a hooded litter pan, blankets etc… They’re shy, in caged captivity or free roaming they need a secure place to hide in all situations.

#11 Do not let people “scratch their necks”, they are not puppies and any grabbing around the neck is where a predator would grab them. (See #3)

#12 No matter the situation, opossums like to be clean. They like their bedding and space clean. In the wild, if allowed, they will choose to be clean rather than dirty. 

Life is very cruel to them in the wild. So show as much compassion and gentle handling as you can.

The Handmaid’s Tale


The Handmaid’s Tale is speculative fiction only in name; these events could unfold with uncomfortable ease. Gilead takes all the inequities of our world that are obscured in policy and political jargon and lays them out in blue, green, and blinding red. It is not so much a parallel world as it is our own world laid out along explicitly color-coded lines.

The narrator often flashes back to “The Time Before”, and with a shock you recognize your own life in these glimmers (dorm rooms, essays, going out, magazines, falling in love, shitty apartments, pet cats), before you are dragged jarringly back into the room with no chandelier where you–or is it the narrator?–are just a womb.

SPOILERS BELOWWWW************************************

Finally, we get to the end. Our beloved narrator is gone, off to an unknown fate in a black van. Gilead has fallen, apparently. You can tell the way the professor lectures about it. The students laugh and he cracks jokes in a way that suggests an empire so long-dead that the atrocities can now become funny.

Our professor has found “the Handmaid’s” tapes. He was the one that compiled them. He was the one who dubbed her tale “The Handmaid’s Tale”. The “tale” part was a joke, a play off of the word “tail”. Ha ha.

Do you see him? Do you see, even however many years later, how Gilead still lives on? This man found our narrator’s story and the only thing he found of value in her was that she was a Handmaid in Gilead. He laments that she wasn’t “more of a reporter.” He wishes she had given more details about the government, given the real names of her cohorts, so he could find out more about her Commander. He wants to know more about Nick and the role he had with Mayday and the Eye.

He read her entire story and that’s all he came away with.

He doesn’t care to find out about Moira. He doesn’t regret for the narrator and Luke, who he offhandedly remarks was most likely dead that day in the woods, or their daughter. He doesn’t mourn for them. The only thing he cares about is verifying that the Commander’s hair was, in fact, gray.

Atwood says just as much, if not more, with these final pages as she does in the entire book. The professor’s dismissal of our narrator is a shocking reinforcement of the dismissal that she experienced every single day from the moment her card was shut down and she lost her job in “The Time Before.” Atwood is reminding us that fascism isn’t always the man with the toothbrush-mustache or the Aunt with the cattle-prod; sometimes it the kind man across the desk playing Scrabble with you, or the professor at the front of your lecture hall.

The Man You Were Meant To Hate

-Here you go anon, I found it a bit hard to put fluff into a mafia request but if you just hold on until the end I’ve tried my best!

-Requests are open!

The school grounds were packed with students eating and cramming down on last minute study sessions. Something about the air around you felt weird and you looked around to see if anything was out of place. Everything was normal. The bell was ringing to signal lunch was over and you linked your arm through your best friends.

“We’ll be dead if we’re late for this class!” She stressed. She was a teacher’s pet. She dragged you along with her as she rushed back into the school building. The bell came to stop and everyone seemed to look to the closest PA to them as your principles voice rang through the speakers.

“This is not a drill. I repeat, this is not a drill. Students are to make their way to their classrooms immediately, leave your things behind and return to the safety of your classroom immediately. The school is going into lockdown. Do not leave the classroom until it has been deemed as safe to do so” The hustle and bustle of the halls grew stronger, this wasn’t the first time your school was going into lockdown, but that didn’t mean people weren’t scared for the value of their lives.

“Come on Y/FN!” You exclaimed and dragged her shaking body through the crowd, determined not to leave your friend behind. When you got to your class the door was already locked and Y/F/N began to panic as you shook the door handle and screams echoed from inside the classroom.

“Y/N! Y/F/N!” A familiar voice exclaimed and you turned around. Your cousin waved the two of you over to his classroom and you rushed over with Y/F/N. He slammed the door behind you and locked it as the teachers voiced boomed over the panicked students.

“What are you doing in here? Get to your classroom Y/N!”

“Our teacher already locked the door, sir! They won’t let us in” You argued as Y/F/N shook beside you and the teacher sighed.

“Everyone stay as low as possible, we don’t know what sort of weapons these people have!” He exclaimed and several students who were still standing dropped to the ground.

“What’s happened? Who’s here?” You asked sitting against the wall wedged between Y/F/N and your cousin.

“Some mafia has raided the school, they’re over in the North wing of the school but there’s no doubt they’ll come this way. They’re looking for someone but no one knows who” Your cousin explained hurriedly as he pulled on your arm and the three of you sank lower until you were laying on the floor, merging with the rest of the shaking students.

“You need to calm down” You heard the teacher speaking, you looked over to see him cradling a shivering student in his arms, hiding under the desk as best as he could with the student who was holding in their terrified screams.


“Y/N please come to the front office. Y/N please come to the front office immediately” Your principles voice was stern through the speakers and your body stiffened as you realised it was you being called out.

“No Y/N!” Y/F/N exclaimed, already close to tears as her quivering arms clung to you who sat up.

“Don’t go Y/N”

“No, I think I know what this is about now” You answered, looking down at your cousin, his eyes widened as he understood you and he let go of the grip he had on your other arm.

“Let her go” The teacher demanded, he was hesitant in his words as his own shaking eyes tried to will Y/F/N to let go of you.

“I’m not letting my best friend walk to her own death!” Y/FN screamed making the other students in the class mimic her.

“She won’t die Y/F/N” Your cousin whispered as he tried to get her off you. You finally stood up and she tried to claw at your ankles as you stepped over the other frightened students, each of them meeting your own eyes with their terrified ones as if they were taking one last good look at you before you died.

A resounding click echoed through the silent classroom, everyone stared at you. Your eyes met your cousins and Y/F/N’s as you gave a single nod of your head and opened the door. The students screamed as the strong shake of another door and other students screaming pierced their ears. You quickly shut the door behind you and leant on it, hearing it click locked behind you again.

“Jung Daehyun” You let the name slip your lips, he stopped hitting the door to your original classroom with his gun and let go of the handle. His sharp eyes turned to meet yours and you had grown out of wanting to falter at their menacing glare.

“Start walking” His gun pointed down the hall and you turned emotionlessly, walking ahead of him with your head held high.

Your father had been a bit of a troublesome man, mixing with the wrong people and making deals he couldn’t keep his end of. Your own mother had died because of the dept your father had put your family into. Jung Daehyun, he was an underling, one of the strongest members of the mafia your father owed his life to.

You opened the door to the office and Daehyun followed you in, closing it behind you as you scanned the room. Six familiar men and a few unfamiliar ones were surrounding your principle who sat at his desk tensely. Most importantly, he was here, the one your father owed everything to, the mafia boss was standing behind your principle with a hand on his shoulder mockingly taunting him in his fear.

A grimace found its way to your face as you made eye contact with him and your heart sped up. You were meant to hate the older man, he was meant to be cruel and ruthless, he hated your father, but he couldn’t keep his hands off you.

You wouldn’t let yourself fall in love with the man who was meant to lead you to your death.

“What are you doing here?” You demanded it must have been important if Bang Yongguk was here in person if he simply wanted you, Daehyun would have come to get you alone.

“You’re coming with us, princess”

“You can’t take my student” Your principle spoke up as Yongguk came to stand in front of you.

“I don’t believe you can stop me from doing so, sir” He smirked as he looked down at you. His heart clenching in joy as you were finally with him. He took your hand in his and pulled you towards the door as the principle began to yell.

“I’m calling the police!” The door was slammed in his face as everyone evacuated the office.

“You can’t make me go!” You exclaimed, the other men slammed the walls with their weapons and yelled as loud as they could, sending fright through the other people in hiding.

“I certainly can princess” Yongguk chuckled, his pet name coming out for you as his arm scooped around your waist and under the back of your knees. You were in his arms before you could even blink and you let out a shout as you slapped his chest.


“He’s not going to come and get me Daehyun” You answered, he sat on a chair in front of you, using the back of the chair as a place to rest his folded arms as he stared back at you. There wasn’t much in the room, a small simple table and two chairs, you sitting in one and Daehyun sitting across you in the other. A few dishes with food on them sat in front of you, your arms were crossed as Daehyun leant over the back of the chair he sat backwards in and grabbed a piece of the chicken you were barely touching.

“I know” He shrugged and you blinked at him.

“Then why am I here?” You asked and he continued to shrug again.

“Yongguk has threatened your father, but he also wants you to stay here”

“What?” You choked and instantly regretted taking a mouthful of water.

“I don’t know, he’s fascinated with you for some reason and wants the rest of us to get along with you. It’s weird for a guy his age to like a kid like you. But I guess you’re not too bad” He gave you a small smile and your eyes widened.

“I’m eighteen” You muttered.

“And he’s twenty-five”

“Oh,” You huffed and looked down at the table.

“He’s back” Youngjae came into the room and Daehyun looked at him before glancing back at you.

“Come on” His head flicked towards the door and you blinked at him as you stood up with him.

“You’re not going to treat me like a real hostage this time?” You referred to the previous time you were kidnapped by the mafia.

“I would rather live a little longer than have Yongguk kill me” Daehyun smiled sarcastically and left the room.

“Princess!” His deep voice exclaimed as the front door slammed shut. You stood stiffly as you were engulfed by him. Yongguk squeezed your body tightly and swayed side to side. When he pulled away you looked up at him with wide eyes, fighting your hammering heart as your cheeks turned red.

“Oh god get a room!” Zelo scoffed from the sofa and you backed away in embarrassment.

“Don’t forget you’re living in my house Zelo Yongguk pointed a finger at him and Zelo put his hands up in mock surrender. You looked at Yongguk’s outfit, clad in a black suit with a white button-up shirt underneath the jacket, he clearly had some business to attend to. A grin found its way to his lips as he caught you looking at him.

“Like what you’re seeing?” His arm slung over your shoulders and Zelo groaned again as he walked down the hall with you under his arm. You watched your feet as you walked with him and he opened a set of large double doors.

Surprise had you looking up and gasping as you saw what was behind the door, you would have been gaping at the entire house if you took notice of its rich attire. The bedroom was the size of your lounge room and kitchen put together, another door was on the others side of the room and a large king bed was placed in the middle of the room against the wall. It looked as if millions of dollars went into this one room.

“What am I doing here?” You asked when his chuckle brought you back to reality and you watched as Yongguk took off his suit jacket and turned to your with a gummy smile.

“Am I not allowed to have you here? You know I like your company” He answered you and you blinked as he walked towards you.

“I got you something while I was out today” He pulled you over to his bed and you found yourself sitting down with a flushed face as he turned away again.

“A stuffed bear?” You asked and Yongguk beamed at you

“Look how big it is! It’s almost as cuddly as me!” Yongguk rushed over and put the big teddy on your lap, an ‘oof’ escaped your lips as you fell backwards, it was practically the same size as you.

“This is really sweet Yongguk, but I don’t think I can accept any of this treatment” You sighed after managing to get the bear off you.

“And why not?” He asked as he sat next to you, you sat up and Yongguk blinked at you innocently. This wasn’t the big scary mafia boss you were meant to be hating.

“Because Yongguk, I may hate my father but some of your men killed my mother and our family is in debt to you for an eternity. You’re the leader of a mafia and I’m a school kid, with everything that’s happened between you and my family, I should hate you” You rushed out and Yongguk smiled at you.

“But you don’t. And I never brought you into any of your father’s mess did I? I know your mothers dead, it was never meant to happen and trust me, the men that did that are dead now”

“That doesn’t change the fact that my mum is dead” You muttered and looked away from him as Yongguk sighed.

“I know and I’m sorry” He carefully put his arms around you and you let out a shaky breath when he pulled you into his embrace.

“I would never hurt you princess” He reassured and you nodded.

“I know you won’t” You replied and he smiled as you allowed him to hug you.

“This may be too soon Y/N, but I really like you”

“I like you too Yongguk” You looked up at him through your long lashes and a chuckle wracked through him as brought his face down to nuzzle his nose against yours.

lintz headcanon #1 : after they rent an apartment in london, maggie suggests they buy a cat, but sydney disagrees and tries to explain to her that they are too busy to look after a pet. maggie still drags her to several pet shops because “i’ll just look, at least let me have that” and sydney rolls her eyes every time and goes with her anyway. however, one day, after a hard day at work, sydney finds a stray kitten in front of their building and without thinking twice she brings her inside. maggie is almost crying with joy at the sight of the small animal and begs sydney to let her keep it. they spend the evening cleaning and feeding the kitten. later they fall asleep in each other’s arms discussing names for the newest member of their family and it’s the most blissful they’ve ever felt.


Summer with Astro (Disney Edition), Click and Drag!

I’ve been meaning to finish this for quite a while, but I’ve been busy & tired, and I had trouble thinking of things to do at Disneyland, since I’ve never gone there! So I’m sorry if these aren’t that great. but I tried so hard!! I’m so tired I hope you guys like these!! give me feedback!! Also if you’re confused about the petting zoo thing? apparently Disneyland has a petting zoo in it, edit: apparently it doesn’t any more. Oops..

Deepest of Trust (Percival Graves x Reader) - Smut

Originally posted by frostsemma

Summary: You and Percival have been together for some time, but Percival want`s to expand your relationship into something more, something that requires the deepest of trusts. 

Tags: @aya-fay @theamazing-bouncingferret @sharknadoslut @nicetrytopredictme @wolfangelwings @lynnliciousadnan @shield-sherlocked-the-tardis@queencobblefreezestuff @jsowkdfknfocv @red-panda-on-the-loose @cupcakelord2000 @ilariyalavorowrites @aislinsekhem @socktrollqueen @callmemrsvillain @diehadess @ithilnarmo

Warnings: SMUT,  Dom/Sub Content, Dom!Percival, Sub!Reader, Bondage, Blindfolds, Fingering, Rough Sex. 


“Do you trust me?”

Percival’s dark, honeyed voice behind you made you shiver and inhale a shaky breath. His fingertips were slowly caressing your arm while his lips gently nipped at your neck.

“Y-Yes.” You nodded slightly and closed your eyes as you gave into his touch. It wasn’t your first time together, far from it. Countless times you had laid with him on his bed where he now sat behind you, trailing his tongue over your collarbone. But his suggestion tonight took you by surprise. Of course, you had noticed his dominant nature in bed, but never in your wildest dreams could you imagine the things he started mentioning when the two of you ended up in bed after dinner.

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Happy Birthday (Baekhyun x Reader)

Characters: Baekhyun x You
Summary: You try your best to make it up to him, but he seems to really have moved on. Do you still keep trying, or give up ? (BGM)
A/N: It’s raining in my area >< it’s been raining, and so I’ve been listening to really sad music. And I got inspired to write with some of the songs I’ve been listening to ^ ^ And one more thing;; there are flashbacks;; I tried to write it as less confusing as possible;; but;; yea;; Oh and;;;;;; I quit trying to shorten my stories;; it doesn’t work;; my one-shots are at least 3000;; at most, who knows how much;;; and I’m sorry if you guys think it’s too long;; but it’s the only way I can provide a shot without thinking it’s trash;; so bear with me;; you don’t have to if you don’t want to;; Well then, enjoy ^ ^ (5.11.2016 a/n update;; this is a real piece of shit now that I read it;; but since I still wrote it;; yea;; 5.15.2016 a/n update #2;; SIKE !! YOU GUYS THOUGHT I HAD NO FICS FOR YOU RIGHT ? PFFF I had one… sorry;; it’s shit though;;;)
Word Count: 6400

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