petri dishes

Both of them are despicable garbage but Bannon calling Paul Ryan a “limp-dick motherfucker who was born in a petri dish at the Heritage Foundation” is one of the funniest burns I’ve ever heard in my life

Clark Kent: Date someone who will drag you outside at 3 a.m. to look at the stars.

Bruce Wayne: If anyone, and I mean anyone, wakes me up at 3 a.m. to go look at the damn sky they will be removed indefinitely from my life.

Humans are Weird

Beings of the galaxy research for PURPOSES. How to recreate a sound. How to get into space. Humans? Humans randomly poke into shit and ask questions and light stuff on fire and run it through a blender and a spectrometer. Because they can. Because they’re curious.  
“Human Steve. What are you doing?” 
“Trying to figure out what in hell that rock from Taurus nine is made out of.” 
“To what purpose?” 
“I wanna KNOW.” 

Beings of the galaxy visit Earth, and get tours of the research facilities. They are so fragmented. And often IN COMPETITION with each other. Their genome was sequenced IN A RACE. Their most useful antimicrobial medication was found BY ACCIDENT, by a human who would let things grow in his petri dishes ‘just to see what happened’. They are ignoring their own health concerns to clone an extinct mammal no one has a purpose for. Their largest, most expensive experiment ever built is to see about sub-atomic particles that may or may not exist. There is no planned purpose for those particles, either way. They just want to figure it out. 

Beings of the galaxy hire as many of these ‘scientists’ as they can, then get out of their way. 

Carlos and I spent Valentine’s Day the way we always do. He made me breakfast in bed, brought me fresh flowers, and cultivated a petri dish of bacteria in the shape of a heart. I reminded him that I found his insistence on celebrating this terrifying day of carnage to be disturbing, but as usual he won me over when the bacteria began spelling out cute phrases like “I love you” and “be mine” and “we will destroy humanity”.



A combination of ink, water, marbling oils, tonic water and digital post production were used to create this series. ‘Grown’ inside petri dishes, I made several lifts from each dish to create a print. After some minor retouching and hue alterations I was left with these! Part microbial, part cosmic - these artworks were re-printed at high resolution and exhibited inside petri dishes on heavy gauge gloss card. I wanted to create something a little less predictable to hand out at an exhibition, but something that would act as a signifier of my interest within scientific experimentation. 

*Please credit these images to Robbie Anson Duncan

I guess this is my cartoonist’s way of saying that I’m sorry that my comic updates have been spotty lately. It’s been a combination of a hectic schedule and a bout of depression that has affected my motivation to do things I normally enjoy. I’m working hard at fighting it, but some days are difficult. I’ll try my best to get back to a regular posting schedule. Thanks for being understanding!

peridot's morning texts to amethyst in petri dish
  • 1 week after first date: Good morning, my sweet violet! I wish I could be there with you, so as see your face when you awaken — it is more radiant than any sunrise. I hope to accompany you this afternoon to some location of interest, and perchance taste the precious nectar of your kiss.
  • 130 weeks after first date: get the FUCK up lazyclod its time to EAT ASS and DESTROY SHIT WITH GIANT ROBOTS

anonymous asked:

Natasha agressively hugging Tony is the best thing I could ask for

Everything Natasha does is aggressive so it makes sense that she would channel it into being affectionate.

Clint: *is sad*

Natasha: *kicks down his door* I HEARD YOU WERE SAD SO I’M GONNA HUG YOU.

Clint: *is terrified*

Steve: *is sad*

Natasha: *bursts into room, flings a fucking giant teddy bear at him* I BOUGHT THIS FOR YOU WE’RE GONNA WATCH SHITTY MOVIES AND PRETEND WE’RE NOT CUDDLING IT EVEN THOUGH WE ARE.

Steve: ??? Okay

Bruce: *is sad*

Natasha: Hello

Bruce: *flings petri dish* Wtf when did you get in here

Natasha: Just now. I sensed you were sad but I didn’t want to frighten you and make you Hulk out. I made tea.


Natasha: We’re going to sit here and drink it and if you try to tell me no I’m going to force it down your throat.

Bruce: Can we at least move out of the lab

Thor: *is sad*

Natasha: *bursts through the door* YOU WANNA FUCKING FIGHT?!

Thor: …Yes.

Natasha: *screams, clotheslines him*

(This does actually make Thor feel better)

Tony: *is sad*

Natasha: *just fucking tackles him to the ground*

Tony: !!!!!!

Natasha: I’m cuddling you now. It’s happening.

Tony: *is terrified* ????!!!!!!!?

Natasha: Get used to this.

Tony: Wtf