For the first time, he found himself envying the other students who were studying there. All they had to worry about was the next test, or keeping their scholarship, or their dating life.

I could have a life like theirs.

Right. He’d have to kill himself if he ever came to care what some teacher thought of an essay he wrote, or what some girl thought about the clothes he wore, or whether one soccer team could beat another.

He closed his eyes and leaned back in his chair. All this self-doubt was pointless. He knew he would never stop until he was forced to stop. From childhood on, he knew that the world was his to change, if he found the right levers to pull.

Shadow of the Hegemon by Orson Scott Card

(Redrew this post from 2012.)

Peter Wiggin had brought Petra Arkanian with him because she knew Caliph Alai. They had both been in Ender’s Jeesh together. And it was Alai who had sheltered her and Bean in the weeks before the Muslim invasion of China, or liberation of Asia, depending on which propaganda mill you shopped at. But now it seemed that having Petra with him meant nothing at all. Nobody in Damascus acted as if it even mattered that the Hegemon had come like a supplicant to see the Caliph. Not that Peter had arrived with any publicity. This was a private visit, with him and Petra passing themselves off as a tourist couple. Complete with bickering. Because Petra had no patience with him. Everything he did and said and even thought was wrong. And last night, when he finally demanded, "Tell me what you really hate about me, Petra, instead of pretending it’s all this trivial stuff.” Her answer had been devastating: “Because the only difference I ever saw between you and Achilles was that you let others do your killing for you.”

It was so patently unfair. Peter had devoted himself to trying to avoid war. At least now he knew why she was so furious at him.

- Shadow of the Giant

I was craving Enderverse art but the community is so disappointingly small for such a popular series (I’ve read all the graphic novels and they are gorgeous, but I wish the fanart community was larger! Maybe the movie will help that along, hehe). I love Peter/Petra interactions.

Oh, I know you aren't stupid.

 But there’ll come a day when you aren’t there with him, when you forget. And suddenly you’ll remember, and you’ll rush to him, and there he’ll be, perfectly all right. And the next time you won’t worry so much, and you won’t come so fast. And every time, he’ll be all right. And you’ll think that I forgot. Even though you remember that I said this, you’ll think that I forgot. And years  will pass. And then there’ll be a terrible accident, and I’ll find his body, and I’ll cry and cry over him, and you’ll remember this conversation, Vally, but you’ll be ashamed of yourself for remembering, because you’ll know that I changed, that it really was an accident, that it’s cruel of you even to remember what I said in a childhood quarrel. Except that it’ll be true. I’m gonna save this up, and he’s gonna die, and you won’t do a thing, not a thing. (Beat) Oh, you guys are just super, just the biggest suckers on the planet earth. It was a game. I can make you guys believe anything. I can make you dance around like puppets. I’m going to kill you and chop you into little pieces and put you into the garbage hole! Biggest suckers in the solar system. 

Peter Wiggin, Ender’s Game (novel)

ender is that nerd in high school who always melodramatically says stuff like “of course i fucked this up… i’m bad… i’m just so bad…” but only when people are listening, but who also sits in the front row and gets straight As

peter is that kid who was a dick about beating you in debate class that one year but like since then he went on to a pretty cool career as a public defender but you still kinda irrationally hate him for that one time in debate class

  • Peter: Thank you, I wasn't taking that into account.
  • Bean: That's one of the reasons you're doomed to fail. You think you know way more than you actually do.
  • Peter: But I listen. And learn. Do you?
  • Sister Carlotta: I do believe that the two most arrogant boys in the world have finally met, and they don't like what they see.
  • Peter: Actually, I do like what I see.
  • Bean: Wish I could say the same.
  • Me:
  • Me:

anonymous asked:

"peter wiggin my unproblematic fave" listen i love the kid too and he redeemed himself i guess but he skinned squirrels alive and tried 2 murder his brother

note i said my IRONIC UNPROBLEMATIC FAV bc he was literally 10-12 years old when he did these things LISTEN MY FRIEND I HAVE DONE MY SOUL-SEARCHING FOR LITERALLY 8 YEARS ABOUT PETER WIGGIN AND THE CONCLUSION I HAVE COME TO IS THAT: i can forgive a child, especially a child wracked with jealousy and guilt, whose most formative knowledge about himself he got when he was fucking 6 years old when they took away his monitor and told him: you are too aggressive. you aren’t going to battle school because you are too aggressive, and that could be dangerous. you observe a kid every minute for his whole life and the most salient thing you tell him you’ve learned is that he’s dangerous? he was scared of himself and convinced he was messed up deeply in the head. for what he did as a child, i blame theresa and jp wiggin. (literally refer to my peter wiggin tag for more on that)

peter wiggin literally went on to end wars and unite the planet. the great and beautiful irony of that entire series is literally that peter the hegemon is remembered as a saint where ender the exile is remembered as a brutal murderer (so i also mean “ironic unproblematic fav” in that he Is Problematic but is canonized as Unproblematic)

on an interpersonal, one-on-one level, peter was usually a dick, even into adulthood. but one of my greatest philosophical questions with that series is, how do we measure goodness? how do we measure greatness? what would disqualify all the other achievements peter made?

listen; i have my peter wiggin feels in order ok


“Peter, we’re children, don’t you understand that? We’re going to school, we’re growing up—” But even as she resisted, she wanted him to persuade her. She had wanted him to persuade her from the beginning. But Peter didn’t know that he had already won. “If I believe that, if I accept that, then I’ve got to sit back and watch while all the opportunities vanish, and then when I’m old enough it’s too late. Val, listen to me. I know how you feel about me, you always have. I was a vicious, nasty brother. I was cruel to you and crueler to Ender before they took him. But I didn’t hate you. I loved you both, I just had to be—had to have control, do you understand that? It’s the most important thing to me, it’s my greatest gift, I can see where the weak points are, I can see how to get in and use them, I just see those things without even trying. I could become a businessman and run some big corporation, I’d scramble and maneuver until I was at the top of everything and what would I have? Nothing. I’m going to rule, Val, I’m going to have control of something. But I want it to be something worth ruling. I want to accomplish something worthwhile. A Pax Americana through the whole world. So that when somebody else comes, after we beat the buggers, when somebody else comes here to defeat us, they’ll find we’ve already spread over a thousand worlds, we’re at peace with ourselves and impossible to destroy. Do you understand? I want to save mankind from self-destruction.”

—Ender’s Game

[Peter] could always see what other people hated most about themselves, and bully them, while Val could always see what other people liked best about themselves, and flatter them. It was a cynical way of putting it, but it was true. Valentine could persuade other people to her point of view––she could convince them that they wanted what she wanted them to want. Peter, on the other hand, could only make them fear what he wanted them to fear.
—  Ender’s Game (Orson Scott Card)