peter parker imagine where your your uncle (tony) is getting married to
pepper and you’re invited. and so you attend the marriage and you greet
your old friends (who you used to work for) and you briefly get
introduced to peter parker (who is your age) the wedding starts and
after that, they begin to slow dance and peter is extremely nervous and
wants to ask you to dance but doesn’t know how. thank you! i am in love
with your blog so much!! ♥
A/N: thank you sweetie, love you. x | i hope you enjoy!
The first time you had done it, was purely as a joke. You just wanted to see what would have happened if you randomly shouted that to the two after finding out about the challenge from some girl in your bio class.
However, seeing the way Ned practically shoved peter and his books off the bed to lay completely flat down on the bed as Peter scrambled off the floor, standing on his desk chair, you made it your mission to get Peter and Ned to stand on the oddest of places.
The next time you shouted those words were in an empty library. It was Wednesday 2:30pm and by now most of the students would have left school excluding those who have clubs.
Ned sat on the chair next to you, helping you with a trig question as Peter aimlessly walked around the empty library, the teacher monitoring the room left 20 minutes ago for something and asked the three of you to watch the room until she comes back, which of course you all agreed to.
“Hey Pete could you stop the tapping please?it’s quite distracting.” You asked politely looking away from your work to look at the brunette standing on the other side of the room. Your eyes met, causing him to look away almost immediately and apologising for the tapping, you laughed and told him he didn’t need to apologise, giving him a warm smile.
After that small exchange the room fell into silence, it wasn’t awkward for the three but a bit unusual. Just then Y/N got the idea to revisit one of her actions from the other day.
Just as Peter walked past the librarian’s desk, you spoke out the words that caused the superhero to panic.
“THE FLOOR IS LAVA!”
You laugh with Ned as you see Peter climb onto the desk beside him, standing on the wood as he looks back at the two of you, luckily for Ned all he really had to do was lift his legs.
“Unbelievable.” Peter sighed loudly, jokingly glaring at you.
“I’m going to get you back Y/L/N.” He states, looking down at you from the desk.
“Oh yeah? I’d like to see you try, Parker.” You smirk back at him, leaning back into your chair and crossing your arms.
“Yeah just you w-” Peter begins to be cut off.
“Mr Parker! Get off that desk immediately!” Mrs Brown, the librarian exclaimed. Which frightened Peter, causing him to jump off the table immediately smiling sheepishly at the teacher as he shoves his hands in his trouser pockets.
After that incident you decided that you would wait a while after you sprung those words onto the boys, to make sure they won’t get in trouble as during the entire way back to the subway all Peter did was express his embarrassment over and over again.
“God I’m so embarrassed I want to bury myself into the ground.”
However the next time you did shout out those words, Ned wasn’t there.
It was a Saturday afternoon, Ned cancelled out on a study session since his cousins sprung up at his house out of nowhere, just leaving you and Peter.
You walked your way to Peter & May’s apartment since it was close to your own, being greeted by May with a hug as soon as she opened the door.
“You need to come over for dinner again, I love having you over.” She says as she sends you off to Peter’s room.
“Remember to leave the door open.” She adds, laughing at your embarrassed face as you turn back to her and quickly let out a yes before speeding to Peter’s room.
The door of his room was slightly opened, you could see peter searching for something in his backpack.
You were about to knock onto the door before getting the idea once again.
Taking in a deep breath you pause before you push open the door with force and began shouting (but quiet enough so your voice wouldn’t be heard through the entire apartment.)
“QUICK! THE FLOOR IS LAVA!”
In the split second that you blinked, Peter used his web shooter to stick himself on the wall.
“Holy- wait, are those what I think they are?” You gasp in shock as Peter’s eyes widen, taking the webshooter off before grabbing you and pulling you into the room.
“I swear I can explain!”
“You’re the spider-man? Like… from the vine?” You ask, confused.
“WHAT? No! I don’t just own the suit, I AM Spider-Man.” He says, baffled.
“Holy crap Parker you just changed the entire game.” You say, taking a seat on his bed, staring at the web he created that currently hung down from the ceiling.
“What? What game?” He asks, taking a seat next to you.”
“The game we’ve been playing for the past few weeks, the floor is lava challenge, remember?” You say and he shakes and laughs and shakes his head in response.
“I just told you I’m a superhero and that’s what you’re thinking about?” He looks over at you.
“I mean, you’re saving people, thats amazing. But… you just need to think about your own safety as well, people may need spider-man but more people need the person inside the suit, I need you, we all do.” You fiddle with your fingers as Peter begins to speak.
Word Count: 1.6k Warnings: nothin (dad!tom) Summary: you and tom go shopping for the baby and start getting the nursery ready A/N: hi friends!!! this feels kinda like a filler chapter to me, so i’ll probably have the next part up pretty soon. i hope you like it, let me know what you think :)
ALSO, i still don’t know whether i want the baby to be a boy or a girl, feel free to send me a message w your opinion lol
From the moment you got home, the only thing that had been on your mind was shopping for baby Holland, and getting the nursery all set up. You knew it’d only be a matter of time before the baby was here, and you wanted everything to be ready for them. Before Tom left for filming, the two of you had still been sleeping in your own rooms, but you were expecting that to change when he came back, effectively freeing up one of the rooms for a nursery. While he had still been away, you’d been trying to drop hints about what you had in mind for the baby’s room. You’d mention that you had seen the absolute cutest crib for the baby, or when he asked what you were up to, you’d say that you were in the middle of cleaning everything to get rid of in unnecessary things. Somehow, he hadn’t picked up on the hints, and you had to just come right out an say it a few days after he’d gotten home.
Summary: Of course he can tell she’s stressed, he just doesn’t know that a large part of her frustration is because of him.
Word Count: 2,312
A/N:So I’m participating in @starksmile ‘s 5k writing challenge with the dialogue prompt, “Am I stressed? No I am so fucking chill right now how the fuck could you think otherwise?” Congrats on the large numbers, you’re absolutely wonderful! Also, a big thanks to @beautiful-writings because she never fails in helping me out!
He finds her pacing.
She’s too absorbed in her Pinterest board of hairstyles to really notice him slipping into her room, his look of confusion and concern directed right at her. She’s dressed in the fancy burgundy romper she couldn’t remember buying, finding it buried in the back of her closet and deeming it good enough. Her makeup is done and both her curling iron and straightener are warmed up on the bathroom counter, but she can’t decide what she wants to do with her hair and it’s driving her crazy.
“You’re stressed.” Peter states, hands in the baggy pockets of his sweatpants and hair a wet assortment of dark brown from his shower. Her heart clinches and the coil of dread in her gut tightens.
Warning: Asshole Peter, fluff, and some cursing if you squint.
I remember when my mom took me to Central Park when I were a little girl, wondering why there was suddenly a timer on my wrist that was counting down. 4,015 days, 17 hours, 34 minutes, and 45 seconds.
I had asked your mom about what was happening, thinking I was a bomb and that was when I’d explode. My worries were diffused when I saw how she got very excited. She then went on to explain soulmates to me. “so you see, their’s somebody out there for you Y/N.”
“But I have to wait 4,015 days to meet him!? That’s so long!!” I complained.
“Sweetie. That’s not when you meet them, that’s for when you fall in love with them, well usually.” My mom explained.
“So you’re saying, that I could’ve already met them?” I asked tilting your head.
“Yes and no. It’s complicated sweetheart.” My mom laughed taking your hand and walking me back to our apartment. But little did I know, that on the other side of the park there was a little boy with a stupid pun on his shirt asking his aunt the exact same thing.
* 5 years later *
“Hey look who it is! It’s my main man!” I heard someone call from across the room. My head shot up in curiosity and looked in the direction the voice came from. Of course it came from him. “Hey what up Parker?!” Flash said putting his arm around Peter Parker. I still couldn’t believe that they were best friends. I always ended up rolling my eyes in annoyance whenever they spoke and just went back to reading my book.
I were about to finish the climax when my book was snatched out of my hands. Scowling I looked up and there they stood in all they’re “glory”. “What do you guys want?” I asked through my clenched teeth.
“Ouch. I’m sensing major hostility here.” Flash said placing his hand over his heart in mock anguish.
“Flash you’re in the fourth grade, how do you know what the word ‘hostility’ means?”
“My dad says that to my mom all the time.” he simply states.
“Riiight. I said stretching out the “I”. “Anyway can I have my book back please?” I said holding out your hand with your eyebrows raised.
“Why? So you can make yourself look good for your soulmate?” Peter asked elbowing Flash in his side causing the two boys to erupt in laughter. I took this as an opportunity to grab my book back from him when I noticed his timer was already down to 0.
“Awe what’s wrong Peter? Sad because I have a soulmate waiting and you don’t?” I asked with mock sympathy laced in your voice.
“N-no!” He stuttered looking down at his timer.
“Oh is that so!? Is that because you already found yours?” I said before giving Flash a look with an eyebrow raised and nodding slightly to to their arms that were still around each other. They seemed to notice as well and quickly untangled themselves as I turned and walked out the cafeteria with a smirk of victory plastered on my face.
“Hey Y/N wait up!” I heard someone yell behind me. Only when I turned around did I realize it was Peter.
“What do you want Parker? You want to take my book again?” I asked out of annoyance as I held my book out towards him so he can take it.
“Would you stop with that I don’t want your book. I want to ask you something.”
“Does this have anything to do with why is your counter at 0?” I asked taking his wrist and looking at the empty timer in envy.
“Yeah. I might have I already found and fell in love with her.”
“Already, but we’re only 10!?” I said my eyes going wide.
“Yeah, my aunt said that there are the unlucky few, who meet and instantly fall in love with there soulmate on the same day.”
“Unlucky? Why- how are they unlucky?” I asked.
“Because, She said that those people have a possibility of the person they love, will fall in love someone else.” He said looking at his wrist sadly
“Oh.” was all I could muster. Peter already fell in love. “So you’ve already fell in love?” He nodded yes in response, “Do you know their time?” I asked.
“Who is it!? Maybe I can-“
“No! No that’s really not necessary Y/N.”
“I was only trying to help, Parker.” I said turning back around and started walking to the playground.
“But hey out of curiosity, can I know your time?” He yelled as I started to disappear from his view.
I looked down to see how much longer I still had to wait: 3,000 days, 22 hours, 16 minutes, and 50 seconds. I looked back up and turned around while walking and yelled back one simple word. “NO.” There was no way anyone could ever fall in love with him, right?
*4 years later*
“Hey what’s up Pete did you see the fresh meat?” I heard Flash say as he walked past my locker and over to Peter’s, who was just a couple lockers down and behind me. I rolled my eyes at both the voice and the sentence. Of course Flash would see all the new girls as meat. Peter’s next sentence shook me out of my thoughts.
“Oh yeah! That kid was huge! He looked like a freaking bowling ball.” the curly haired boy said causing the other boy to laugh.
“Maybe if we push him towards the middle school we’ll get a strike!” Flash said.
“He’d get a strike just walking down this hallway.” The boys laughing was cut short when I slammed my locker shut. The boys’s attention was now on me. I quickly wrote something on a piece of paper and walked to the trash can, bending down I tapped the paper on the trash can. I moved out of the way and stepped behind the trash that now read: ‘Peter and Flash’s personality’.
“That’s real funny sweetie.” Peter said looking between the sign and me. “But um, I hate to inform you; that’s a waste of paper right there.” He finished shurgging his shoulders while putting his arms in the air with his signature smirk on full view.
I walked up to him and put my hand on his shoulders, sending him a quick smile before shamelessly looking him up in down (obviously mocking how he would not-so-subtlety look me up and down everytime I came to my locker). Using my free hand I ran my fingers through my hair tilting my head and leaned closer into him so my hot breath was hitting his ear before I said loud enough so both Flash and Peter could hear, “your birth certificates were wastes of paper.” Before they could say anything else I peeled myself off of him and went my separate way and headed off to find my homeroom for the year.
I ended up being lab parters with the guy Flash and Peter were making fun of for my last class of the day. I found out his name was Ned and he was actually the coolest guy I’ve ever met, and we quickly became good friends. Maybe he was destined to be your soulmate? If he was, I honestly wouldn’t mind. He was talking about cool the Avengers were before I interuppted him. “Hey I know this is really weird and personal, but can I see your timer please?”
He looked at me for a second with a total deadpan expression, before giving me a kind smile and his wrist. My shoulders fell when I saw that it was already at 0. “You already know who they are?” I asked looking back up at him.
“Yup. I’ve known for a long time now. Her name is Michelle but her friends call her MJ.” He said with the biggest smile on his face. Hey as long as he was happy I was happy. “What about you? Have you met your soulmate yet?” He asked nudging me with his shoulder making me giggle.
“No.” I said in between giggles. “I still have: 710 days, 1 hour, 5 minutes, and 35 seconds left.” I read on the little timer on my left wrist letting out a small sigh.
“Hey, cheer up that’s less than two years from now.” Ned said bumping me with his shoulder again causing me to brake out into a grin no mater how I much I fought it.
I was thankful when I reached my locker thinking about how I just needed to grab my backpack and my algebra text book for homework when a small folded piece of paper came fluttering out when I opened my locker. I looked around to see if anyone was still lingering or was watching me as I picked up the paper and read it. ‘That was a great way of shutting those two up earlier.’ I felt a small smile creep it’s way onto my face as I looked around again to see if I could find anyone who looked suspicious.
“Whatcha’ got there?” Someone asked behind me causing me to jump. When I heard the laugh I knew exactly who it was. Peter.
“None of your business Peter. Why don’t you just go back to whatever hole it was you crawled out of.” I said putting the note back into my locker and taking the textbooks out before closing my locker.
“Hey. I just wanted to know if we had any homework tonight?”
“Peter we don’t have any classes together. Thankfully.” I said before I shoulder bumped him out of my way as I made my way down the hallway and in front of the flag where Ned was waiting for me.
It wasn’t that long of a night for you since you only had algerbra to do and started watching one of the shows Ned recommended I watched, Doctor Who. He told me that his last words were going to be “I don’t want to go” because of Tennant’s performance. As I continued my Doctor Who binge the note from earlier completely slipped my mind thinking it was only going to be a one time thing. But boy was I wrong.
The next day was pretty uneventful until the end of the day when I got another folded note with a drawn heart next to my name. ‘You look beautiful today ❤️.’ I looked around again looking to see who this was, to thank them then completely insistent that I look that total crap. I gave up when I didn’t see anyone and I decided that I probably looked like a crazy person trying to find whoever it was who wrote it.
“Looking for someone?” I heard Peter say behind me.
“Leave me alone Peter.”
“You look beautiful today?”
I spun around when he uttered those four simple words. “What?”
“You look beautiful today?” He repeated pointing to the note in my hand. “Who’s it from do you know?” He asked. I shook my head no and reread the note. “That’s who you were looking for huh?”
“It’s none of your business Peter.” I said quickly grabbing my stuff and closed my locker. “And besides shouldn’t you and Flash be shoving a nerd in the trash? Or doing something to fit the asshole bully stereotype?” I asked knowing full well he had an Academic Decathalon meeting before leaving him once again in front of my locker.
The next couple of days were the same, Flash and Peter would say or do something messed up, I’d go to class, get my assignments for the night, get a sweet note, have an exchange with Peter, the walk home with Ned. Except today. Today yes I did get a note, but I also got a beautiful rose gold note book that had “for us” on it and a beautiful small bouquet of red roses and sunflowers. I opened up the note book to the first page. Which, to my surprise already had writing on it.
“Sorry I started to feel like our convosations were getting a little one sided. I guess that’s kinda my fault XD. So this is for us Y/N. But there are a few rules (sorry not sorry). 1. No asking who I am. 2. No sneaky planning to try to figure out who I am. 3. No telling anyone about this. *Expect the flowers go ahead and tell people that they were from a secret admire. :P (;* 4. Once done writing *if you choose to respond* place above your locker after the period is over or the next day. And before you ask, yes I’m in love with you. I’ve been for the longest time and I hope you’ll do the same.*I know it’s kind of a stretch sorry.”
I smiled at that full page of writing someone was in love with me. I closed my locker, shoved the notebook in my backpack and dipped before I saw Peter and have to explain the blush that was most likely on my face and bouquet of flowers. You walked outside to meet Ned and filled him in when he asked the inevitable, “what’s with the flowers?”
*1 year later*
I arrived to school later than usual and did this half jog half walk that was faster than speed walking but slower than joggin as I tried to get to class on time. When I got close to my class I started to slow down and started looking over my flash cards for my spanish quiz when I ran into Peter.
My notecards, his notecards, our books, notebooks, THE notebook, it all went flying.
Yes THE notebook. The notebook I got in my locker roughly a year ago, (give or take two or 3 months) obviously it wasn’t the same notebook, everytime we were finished with one, or we were close to finishing one, he would have a replacement but with something different on the cover each time.
“Shit I’m so sorry! I wasn’t paying attention to We’re I was going! I was doing last minute studying for a Spanish quiz!” I rambled.
“It’s okay Y/N, really it’s fine.” Peter said bending down to help collect everything that fell.
“Thanks for helping.” I said giving his a small smile.
“It’s no problem, really.” He said handing me my stuff. “You’re going to Spanish right?” He asked.
“Yup. Señior Adams first period.” I nodded with the small smile on my face as I clutched my books close to my chest.
“C-can I um.” he cleared his throat to cover up him stuttering. “Can I walk you?” he asked. I subconsciously ran my tongue over my bottom lip and captured the lip between my teeth. I heard him take a deep breath in before I nodded. “Can I, um. Can I hold your books?” He asked and quickly took my books before I could protest.
It was quiet at first; and it wasn’t a weird quiet either, it was- comfortable. “So.” I said breaking the silence. “I haven’t seen Flash around all that much. What’s going on between you guys?” I asked, Peter just sighed and I had my eyebrows raised in anticipation.
Peter’s hand met the back of his neck as if he was debating on telling me. When he saw my face he laughed and gave in. “ he stopped talking to me because I got an internship with Tony Stark.” My eyes widened subtly when he said that. I realized it wasn’t as subtle as I thought. “Is it really that surprising?” He asked in between his laughs.
“Well kinda, Yeah.” “Oh really how so?” He asked, turning his head toward me with an eyebrow raised. “Because, you and Flash basically have the same GPA.” I said as he looked down at me with his milk chocolate eyes.
“You know my GPA?” He asked with a smirk on his stupidly cute ass face. ‘Wait what?’ I thought, did I really just think that?
“Well yeah.” I cleared my throat obviously flustered now I continued, “You and Flash weren’t exactly the most modest people when it came to grades.” I said pushing him lightly with my shoulder causing him to chuckle and my heart to flutter. “I have to ask, why were you even friends with him?”
“I guess he just made me confident, like I knew who I was, and now without him, I’m nothing. You know?” He asked and I just nodded in response before he let out a sigh.
We stopped when we reached my class. “Well, this is my stop.” I said pointing towards the classroom door. Peter gave me back my books and shot me a smile that made my stomach do flips. He was about to leave when I stopped him. “For the record, I like this Peter Parker much better than the other Peter Parker.” I said giving him a small smile before I continued. “And if you don’t have anyone to sit with at lunch, you’re welcome to sit with Me and Ned.”
Peter smiled at me, took my hand in his free one and squeezed it before saying, “I’d like that very much. Thank you.” And with that he was gone and off to his own class. I looked down at my wrist that read: 245 days, 22 hours, 2 minutes, 5 seconds. I walked into the class only to see that we had a sub and that meant two things: ‘no quiz, and a free period to do whatever we want. I placed my text books and my two other notebooks on the ground under the books next to my desk first. I then processed to flip through the first notebook of three until I found my unfinished homework. I quickly finished it and placed it on top of my text books. I then went to reach for my rose gold notebook to only discover it was gone.
‘I must have dropped it when I ran into Peter’ I thought as I got up and asked the sub if I could go to the restroom, when in reality I went the the place where Peter and I collided only to see an empty hallway. “Fuck.” I groaned.
Peter kept his eyes glued to the floor walking into chemistry class amidst audible snickers and harsh whispers of the nickname he absolutely loathed: “penis parker.” He plopped his books onto the lab table with a loud smack, breaking your concentration on reading the experiment instructions. He refused to meet your eyes, sending a trickle of worry through you. You wanted more than anything to pull him into a consoling hug and tell him everyone else was just immature and not on his level of intelligence. The words seemed to get caught in a trap in your throat and you simply kept staring until he caved in and met your concerned eyes.
“Sup,” he casually greeted you. You felt a pang of sadness that he wasn’t acting like how he usually did. Where was the boy in the bathroom who insisted he didn’t care what others thought of him?
To say Peter struggled to talk to you was an understatement. He found it nearly impossible, which doesn’t help when you share all the same friends. You were smart, and beautiful, and yeh a bit awkward at times but it made you that bit more charismatic. It didn’t help that you were always devoured by books, that’s what made you and Michelle such good friends, you would rather read in complete silence in each others company than have to speak with one another. Peter didn’t want to seem rude or odd by interrupting you with his inconvieniet stammering self. Which is why he was beyond happy when you had to work on a project together for bio, it gave him a reason to talk to you.
The first session made Peter nervous, he was sweating more than that time he fought major hero’s in an airport, and he thought that was impossible. You didn’t seem to notice though, you were so engrossed in a new book, and from the cover, Peter could see it was one about biochemistry.
“I-um… great you’ve gotten a head start that’s-that’s amazing” he stuttered nervously putting a hand through messy brown locks, but you said nothing. You had nothing to say, you weren’t sure how to reply so you kept silent. “I made coffee if you drink that kind of stuff,” Peter said timidly.
“Sounds great, thanks” you replied with a voice that could send Peter into a trance, but instead he grabbed the coffee in order to give it to you. He was doing well until he tripped over his school bag causing hot coffee to spill all over his shirt. Peter winced putting down the mugs and grabbing a cloth to pat himself down dry. Peter sighed in annoyance and walked back to where you were sitting.
“Coffee is off the market sorry, I spilt it” Peter laughed awkwardly “unless you want me to make another one, because that’s fine too” he quickly restored himself.
“I’m fine thanks” you replied.
With complete confidence that Peter was never going to get your attention, he grabbed a shirt from the drying closet and took off his own in order to try and smell less like coffee and burning flesh. “I-I was thinking we could maybe look into the properties of bacteria, it may be simple but there’s a lot we could find” Peter suggested. Your face began to redden quickly as you tried to not lift your eyes from your book, and Peter, who still hadn’t changed, took no trouble in noticing. “You’re heating up, are you ok?” He asked worried, opening the closest window to allow cool air to come it.
“I’m- I’m fine” you lied, and now you were the stammering one.
“Are you sure because I could have some sort of medicine you could have, I also have ginger if that’s any helpful!” He gushed hoping you were ok
“Peter, I’m sorry, but I can’t continue talking to you unless you put a shirt on,” you said looking up to face Peter and his embarrassed face causing the red blush on your face deepen in colour.
You were amazed by what you saw, the awkward science kid who ran off every so often to places you had no idea about, was so toned. In PE he could do a sit-up, now you could see that was all complete bull crap.
“So I can get your attention” he laughed quickly putting his clean shirt on.
“What-what made you think you couldn’t get my attention?” You asked
“Well you barely notice anything I do, you’ve always got your nose stuck in a book” Peter argued sitting next to you at the kitchen table.
“Yeh you’re right I don’t notice anything. I don’t notice you disappear every once and a while. I don’t notice how you always let your mind wander in chemistry so you create new chemical formulas because you find way more interesting than the basics, you’re smart and you’re inventive something that anyone would die to have. I don’t realise you’re always checking the time because you can’t wait to wander the streets of New York. I don’t notice how your eyes spark when you talk about something you love like Star Wars or Tony Stark, people judge you but you’re too passionate to be apologetic. And I definitely don’t notice how truly kind you are, that just helping people fills your heart with so much joy and it can make you happy for the rest of the day. Peter I can do nothing but notice you!” You ranted, shocked by your own words. Peter gulped, not sure what to say.
“I-I tried to get your attention, I tried and tried” “you don’t have to try” tears were starting to well up your eyes, you were completely overwhelmed by the embarrassment and fear. Peter shifted in his seat frowning, he took a deep breath, which cased your anxiety to increase.
“Can I-“ he began “can I kiss you?” You asked gripping into his seat, he smiled gingerly.
“Shut up Peter” you giggled in relief and leaned forward until your lips connected. Your lips first were off beat, but then they found their rhythm. You put your hand on his shoulder, and one of Peters was on your knee while the others were cupping your cheek. It was your first kiss, you didn’t expect it and it wasn’t the kind of circumstances you were expecting, but you were hoping it would be with Peter, and you got your wish.
Even when the world seemed to disappear around you, you both could hear a cough from the kitchen door way, and when you looked up Peters aunt way was standing there with her arms crossed and eyebrows raised. Peter and you jumped away from each other and grabbed any sort of writing equipment you could find.
Author’s Note(s): I wrote this back in october and forgot about in entirely. I hope you enjoy x
Warning(s): just swearing tbh
Summary: Dogs are great but your dads Steve and Tony don’t agree.
you have created a chatroom
you have named the chat “dear fathers whom I love so very much :)”
you have added Tony
You: hello father who raised me from a yOung one whom to which I love very much :)
You: I didn’t say anything ???
Tony: it’s paternal instinct
You: at least hear me out
You: I’m gonna tell you anyways
Tony: I had a feeling you would
You: so I got my report card back
Tony: I can already see where this is going
You: and I got all As…
Tony: I was not prepared for this part of parenthood
You: so I was wondering…
Tony: gEt To iT CHILD
You: if I could get a puppy?
Tony: lmao NO
You: fudGe yOU
You: you’re the worst dad ever
Tony: I’m going to pretend that my pride isn’t wounded and say I love you too kiddo :,)
You: I bet Steve would get me a dog.
Steve has joined the chat
Steve: no he wouldn’t
You: pleaSe dad?
You: how can anyone call you the man of dreams? Freedom? Liberation?
You: you’re both the worst
Steve: correction…Tony is the worst. Who makes you cap’s shield shaped sandwiches everyday?
You: you do…
Steve: damn right I do
Tony: hey I mean I totally don’t pay your phone bill… not at all… please do continue to insult me as if I’m not here.
You: you know what fudge you both, I’m asking peter.
Tony: oh god no not the kid
Tony: you know I can’t say no to him
You: exactly ;)
You have added Peter
Peter: Hey everyone!
You: hi Petey <3
Tony: hey underoos
Peter: what can I do for you?
You: oh y'know
You: we just need you to settle a family disagreement
Peter: oh… okay, what seems to be the problem?
Steve: (Y/N) got all As in her report card
Peter: Aw well done baby! :)
Tony: I am resisting the urge to throw up (:
You: and I want a puppy as a reward but AnthonY and SteVeN wont let me get one.
Peter: well that’s a shame
Steve: it sure is…
You: shuT UP Steve
Steve: thE DISrESPECT
You: anyways I need you to convince them that I should get a puppy
Steve: I’d chose my words wisely kid.
Tony: or don’t say anything at all, y'know.
You: if you don’t help me convince them I won’t let you do my homework for a month
Peter: I…shouldn’t…be doing… your homework… anyway?
You: shut up you know you enjoy it
Peter: I do :(
Steve: I don’t know but is this how dating works nowadays?
Clint has joined the chat
Tony: oh no
Clint has added Natasha, Bruce, Thor, T'challa, Bucky, Sam, Wanda, Scott and Vision.
Clint: we heard talk of a dog
Steve: well you heard wrong
Sam: how can anyone call you the man of dreams? Freedom? Liberation?
You: I SAID THAT
Thor: I FOR ONE AM IN FAVOUR OF SMALL AND FEROCIOUS BEAST RUNNING AROUND THE TOWER!! IT SHALL BE MOST ENJOYABLE :) :) :)
Natasha: Thor, caps lock sweetie.
Thor: *whispers* oh yes, I apologise widow of black :) :) :)
Peter: is bad that I actually heard him yelling from the other side of the tower or?
Peter: and are we just going to ignore the fact that he added in *whispers* ?
Clint: LeT hIm LiVe pETer
Bucky: yeah! Sit down you little asshole
Peter: I… am…confused.
Sam: oh somebody get him a juice box, little Peter is confused.
Peter: w h y a re y o u a t t a c k i n g m e ?
Sam: oh shit someone’s having a tantrum.
Natasha: go sit in a corner sam, you’re being uneccesary.
Sam: stfu woman come back when you can spell unnecessary.
You: WE ARE GETTING OFF TOPIC
Wanda: what were we talking about again?
Tony has cleared the chat
Tony: I think were talking about getting pancakes for breakfast today
Steve: oh yes, Tony’s treat :)
Tony: of course it’s my treat I’m the only one with money.
Scott: I’m down for pancakes
Bucky: yeah I could go for some too
T'challa: if Tony’s paying
Thor: I TOO WOULD ENJOY THE CAKE OF THE PAN.
Natasha: as mentioned before, only if Tony’s paying.
Steve: then its settled, pancakes at 10
Clint: WHAT ARE YOU TAPKING ABOUT
Clint: WE WERE TALKING ABOUT GETTING A DOG YOU FOOLS
You: T H A N K Y O U
Tony: fuck yOu clint
Steve: LANGUAGE TONY
Steve: there are children present
You: all in favour of getting a dog say aye
Clint: AYE FUCKING AYE CAPTAIN
Bucky: too much Clint too much
Peter: well it’s decided, I guess we’re getting a dog
Tony: Vision, T'Challa, Bruce and Natasha haven’t voted yet.
Steve: not to mention Pietro
Pietro has joined the chat
Pietro: I vote for the dog, they’re better than people and I hate everyone.
Pietro has left the chat
Wanda: sorry about that, he’s still salty because we invited Scott to the Civil War and not him.
Scott: how were we supposed to know? he’s meant to be dead
Clint: RIP that speedy guy 2k15, you shall not be missed
You: I am physically sobBiNg
Bucky: she’s not kidding, I am three floors down and I can still hear her.
Scott : it sounds like she’s dying
Peter: then it’s nothing new.
Bruce: ARE WE NOT GOING TO TALK ABOUT THE FACT THAT YOU HAD A CIVIL WAR?
Bruce: I THOUGHT WE WENT THROUGH THIS
Tony: no brucie, we’re talking about the possibility of (Y/N) having a demon spawn to call their own
Bruce: I hate all of you
T'Challa: I agree, you are all beneath me
Sam: sit yo ass down and drink some milk, cat man
Wanda: IM WHEEZING
Scott: you guys gotta stop roasting each other, (Y/N) is going to D I E of laughter.
Peter: let her
Peter: f r e e m e
Steve: moving on…
Thor: yes…please proceed.
Steve: Bruce? Natasha? Thoughts on the dog.
Natasha: I’m against it
You: WHY?? YOURE SUPPOSED TO BE THE AWESOME AUNT NOT THE ASSHOLE AUNT
Natasha: cats are cooler
Clint: Natasha we can no longer be friends
Natasha: fine by me
Tony: science bro?
Bruce: I’m also in favour of a cat, they’re more peaceful and less…like you guys.
T'Challa: I agree
Bucky: leave cat man
T'Challa: call me that again and pietro won’t be the only avenger to have died
T'Challa has left the chat
You: well then…
Peter: I don’t know what to say
Thor: what about brother vision? He has yet to cast his vote.
Wanda: I’ll admit Vis has been very quiet.
Vision: I apologise profusely for my lack of presence.
You: HE JUST PHASED INTO THE COMMON ROOM AS HE TYPED THAT IM W H E E Z I N G
Tony: Steve is your child asthmatic
Steve: she’s not my child, she’s yours
You: wow what a loving family I have
Thor: indeed, much like my own, at least you are not a murderous pathetic excuse for a villain :)
Wanda: is it me or does the smiley face make it worse ?
Natasha: it’s the smiley face.
Tony: anywho vis, vision, partial creation of mine
Tony: what do you think about getting a dog?
Vision: by my calculations getting a dog would perhaps increase the physical activity of (Y/N) as we have come to realise, She only moves to retrieve a food source before returning to her room. Having a dog would lead to (Y/N) leaving the compound more, in order to walk the animal.
You: I’m sorry I didn’t know asking for a dog would include roasting me
Peter: what’s with all these hashtags ?
Bucky: I’m running out of synonyms for roasted
Vision: Additionally, having a dog would decrease the stress levels of the team and perhaps everyone’s mutual hatred towards Mr Stark.
Tony: you all hate me?
Steve: its less of hatred and more like a preference for avoiding you :) nothing to worry about.
Tony: oh okay then :)
Clint: how did that go over his head?
Bruce: I have no idea
Vision: to conclude getting a puppy would be most beneficial.
You: HAHAHA SUCK IT STEVEN IM GETTING A DOG
Bruce: (Y/N) is definitely Stark’s child.
Natasha: no doubt about it
Loki has joined the chat
Clint: ew who invited him
Wanda: why so salty Clint?
Clint: he tried to take over my mind with some voodoo shit
Sam: VOODOO SHIT IM SCREAMING
Peter: he actually is
Peter: it’s very loud
Loki: you foolish midguardians. I always said that you would be responsible for your own demise.
Scott: what are you on about reindeer games?
Loki: I’m sorry who are you?
Bruce: these hashtags are getting out of hand.
Peter: remind me to teach him how to use them properly.
Thor: brother! :D
Loki: NOT NOW YOU BLONDE HEADED FOOL
Loki: I HAVE COME TO WARN YOU.
You: warn us of your presence? Because none of us actually like you.
Thor: I do
Thor: just a bit
Loki: purchasing the vile beast known as man’s best friend will only result in the destruction of the Avengers. We all know (Y/N) would betray us. She would raise this animal, to become a beast. Multiply it and use it to destroy us from the inside.
Steve: is Loki… afraid…of dogs
You: oh my god
Loki: NO YOU IMBECILE I AM HERE TO SAVE YOU
Natasha: Loki? Saving us ?
Vision: in all my years on earth I have never heard such an entertaining tale
Peter: sit the fuck down bish you’re like 2 years old
Bruce: peter omg
Sam: THERE ARE T E A R S FLOWING FROM MY EYES
Thor: please send help it sounds like he’s choking
Bucky: l e t h i m
Steve: what is it with everyone and wanting to kill each other?
You: don’t act like you haven’t wanted to kill any of us, you golden child
Scott: don’t even start I beg
Loki: you mortals will all perish
Tony: so I think we’ve established that Loki is afraid of dogs, and since none of us like him I propose we get one.
Loki: NO YOU DENSE HEADED INFERIORS
Tony: all in favour of a dog say aye
Clint: AYE MOTHER FUCKING AYE BITCHES
Bucky: Clint pls
Natasha: you are an embarrassment to this team, no wonder pietro is always running away from you.
Natasha has left the chat
Peter: well now that this has come to end, Let’s go Bucky, I gotta teach you the ways of the hashtag
Sam: oh I have got to see this
Scott: I’m definitely filming this
Bucky has left the chat
Peter has left the chat
Sam has left the chat
Scott has left the chat
Loki: you will all die
Loki has left the chat
Thor: it appears that Loki is having a tantrum
Thor: I must tend to my brother, his feelings have been hurt.
Tony: lolol I don’t care
Steve: same tbh
You: SE E YOU ARE NOT SUCH A PURE GOOD WILLING PERSON AFTER ALL
You: SUCK IT STEVEN
Tony: why do you have such a disrespectful child Steve?
Steve: biologically she’s your creation, you do the math
Bruce: brb I’m totally not sobbing with laughter
Thor: I must depart from you friends (: goodbye
You: bye (:
Clint: ISTG JUST LEAVE
Thor: be careful who you yell at brother Clinton. I am always watching.
Thor has left the chat
Bruce: well then
Tony: moving swiftly on
You: im finally getting a dog WHOO
Steve: why are you both simultaneously yelling ‘whoo’ whilst typing it at the same time?
You: it’s for effect
Tony: anyways since you’re getting this dog, they least you could do is name it after your favourite dad
Steve: I agree, this debate has gone on for too long
Steve: which one of us do you like best?
You: sure why not
Bruce: this is going to get interesting
Clint: I’m ready to take screenshots
You: I’m naming my dog peter
You: because he’s my favourite daddy
(Y/N) has left the chat
Bruce: AJAJAJA IM SCREAMING AND WHEEZING AT THE SAME TIME I CANT
Clint: OH MY GOD BYE
Bruce has been disconnected
Clint: I’m totally… going to… see if he’s okay… and not laugh about this