peter varga

9

Let’s review what we have learned here:

  • Sealand is more well known in hetalia than in real life
  • Italy’s curl is more searched than his location
  • People want to see a hot Prussia
  • Moose nor Pancakes show up for Canada…but Goose jacket does
  • America is obsessed with his next top model VS his own flag
  • Hungary’s hetalia form is a top search VS her country
  • Spain has girls and a word, i wonder what word they are speaking of
  • Belarus likes tractors
  • England’s eyebrows are more poplar than the royal family
Hetalia Character Name Meanings
  • Alfred: Name of a king
  • Arthur: Strong as a bear
  • Francis: Free or Frenchman
  • Matthew: A saint who was one of the twelve disciples of Jesus
  • Ivan: Gift from God
  • Yao: Dazzling or Born on a Thursday
  • Kiku: Chrysanthemum
  • Ludwig: Famous fighter
  • Feliciano: Happy one
  • Romano: From Rome
  • Antonio: Beyond praise
  • Gilbert: Oath
  • Elizabeta: Devoted to God
  • Roderich: Famous power
  • Vash: Cow (can be interpreted)
  • Natalia: Born at Christmas
  • Peter: Rock
  • Feliks: Happy
  • Eduard: Rich benefactor
  • Tino: To honor God
  • Berwald: Bear Ruler
  • Heracles: Glory of Hera
  • Sadik: Honest
  • Im Yong Soo: Brave and great
Favorite texts from aphtextsfromnordics

“did it hurt when you broke through the earth’s crust ascending from hell”

- Norway

“yer like an evil little Icelandic troll. That lives deep in the misty mountains. All alone. That comes out only to scare others and wreak havoc.”

- Sweden

“I have a fanfiction account its mr-fluffy bunny”

- Sweden

“how do you confess your love to someone without getting a restraining order”

- Sweden

“I LOVE YOU DAMMIT”

- Sweden

“Yer the icelandic troll”

- Sweden

“your alien fairy godmother”

- Norway

“my alien fairy godmother told me”

- Sweden

“HELP HELEPELE BELP NORWAY”

- Finland

“Sweden, you have five minutes to go home and comfort a traumatized finn that is rambling about a divorced, xenophobic ghost in finnish”

- Norway

“geez what am I supposed to do about your unsatisfied tiny dick”

- Norway

“It’s THORSday, I’m LOKI to be alive :DDDDDD”

- Finland

“ARE YOU A BRONY TOO”

- Norway

“it was love at first chair”

- Sweden

“do not question my ikeasexuality”

- Sweden

“Get in loser, we’re going to Ikea”

- Sweden

“we were flirting. i compared you to vacuum cleaners. i thought this was a sign of our relationship blossoming”

- Sweden

“so you wann a get hoRNy w me sweden? SWEERDEN ANSWER”

- drunk!Finland

“wow that is some kickass teletubby fighting skills”

- Norway

“open up to me like you opened your legs to the person who got you pregnant”

- Norway

“IM THE ONE GIVING BIRTH DIPSHIT”

- Norway

“surprise bitch. Bet u thought you’d seen the last of me”

- Sealand

“hello norway. such nor. much way.”

- Sealand

“such eyebrows. much ugly. very mean”

- Sealand

“SVE I FOUND THIS PENIS CHART ACROSS EUROPE LETS CHECK IT OUT”

Dickmark Denmark

“if I throw a stick will u leave”

- Iceland

“ICE IDE LAND IXELNAX ICE LAND HALP IXE HELP ME”

- Finland

“I DON’T NEED A FUCKING MAGIC BOOK I AM NORWAY BITCH I RULE”

- Norway

“so far I’m carrying a purse and pony dolls around the store getting weird looks from ppl. pLEASE tell me you need something reasonable”

- Denmark

“denmark is bragging about his boobs. Finland is freaking out and I can’t find iceland.”

- Sweden

“LOL DOUBLE DS BABY”

- Dickmark Denmark

“GOOD MORNING SUNSHINE. WAKE THE FUCK UP”

- Dickmark Denmark

“ps ur ugly”

- Finland

“get your party hat woot woot”

- Sweden

“LOOK AT THIS ROOM TREASURES UNTOLD. HOW MUCH SHIT CAN ONE BATHROOM HOLD”

- Dickmark Denmark

“what is love baby don’t hurt me”

- Sweden

“When you see an angry Norwegian with magical powers running towards your windshield, you’ll panic a little”

- Iceland

“ICE ICE BABY NOOO”

- Hong Kong

“weaboos unite”

- Sweden

“fee fi fo fum. Here comes the swedish scum”

- Dickmark Denmark

“paint me like one of your french toast girls”

- Denmark

“THIS PENIS IS ON FIYAHHHHHH”

- Dickmark Denmark

“i told you no dating until you’re 50”

- Sweden

“what does it mean for one’s ovaries to explode”

- Sweden

“you people need to calm the fuck down”

- Japan

“dont put your peeing problems on me”

- Norway

“DID YOU KNOW ABOUT YOUR BOOBLESS IMPOSTER GIRLFRIEND”

- Norway

“omg poor grape!! D:”

- Finland

“I was going to think of a gay pun butt fuck it”

- Dickmark Denmark

“NORWAY TOLD ME YOU SHOVED YOUR HEAD IN THE TURKEYS ASS”

- Iceland

“kajsvsjahkj macerna”

- Sweden

“yah evil turkey bastard”

- Sweden

“YOU FUCKING DEMENTED MUSHROOM YOU SCARED ME”

- Norway

“BABAYY UNICORRN”

- Dickmark Denmark

“germbooger”

- Sweden

“Way to hit your low point”

- Iceland

“I HAVE STRINGY SHIT IN MY BEAUTIFUL MANE JUST TELL ME”

- Denmark

“I’m using your wand to unclog the toilet again”

- Dickmark Denmark

“Your skills are too suave for us suppress them”

- Norway

“what the hell I thought you were gay. you don’t belong in this group”

- Sweden

“fee fo fum bitch”

- Sweden

“prove your gay lord powers in battle then”

- Iceland

“If you’re asking about what shampoo I use for my eyebrows again, I’m not answering.”

- England

“LIKE IF YOU SAID OH IT’S A BLENDER. I’D TAP THAT. I’D TAP THAT TO THE HIGHEST SETTING I’D STILL BE COOL”

- Finland

“LEAVE ME AND CHAIR CHAN ALONE”

- Sweden

“YAH JUST FUCKING POUR HOT WATER ON THE FUCKING POWDER AND DRINK IT WITH YOUR FUGLY MOUTH”

- Denmark

“NUH UH YOU CAN’T DENY THE FULL HOMO WITH SWISSAUS”

- Iceland

“QUICK WHO DO YOU WANT UP YOUR ASS PRUSSIA OR SWITZERLAND ITS AN EMERGENCY”

- Iceland

“get in the ikea drawer if you want to live”

- Sweden

“I DRINK TWO FISH SHITS PER DAY SO I WONT GET FUNNY IN THE HEAD”

- Iceland

“weener what”

- Norway

“tally ho”

- Norway

“Dude if we let you join, Russia will come after us. He’d be like standing in our backyard at 2am with his pipe saying ‘where’s mah bitch’ ya followin me”

- Dickmark Denmark

“NO NO NO I WAS BORN TO BE A SPARKLY DANE”

- Dickmark Denmark

“SHINE BRIGHT LIKE A DENMARK”

- Dickmark Denmark

“NORGE TINKER BELL IS ATTACKING ME”

- Dickmark Denmark

“NO FINLAND DONT DRINK FROM THEIR GOBLET”

- Norway

“THESE THREE FATASS TROLLS YELLING IN NORWEGIAN”

- Iceland

“they do but I told them to fe fi fo fuck off”

- Sweden

“I DONT NEED YOUR TACKY ANIME REFERENCES RIGHT NOW”

- Finland

“your distressed sassiness is showing again”

- Iceland

“looks like santa had a little too much to drink ehehehehe”

- Norway

“and y'all call me the grinch of christmas”

- Iceland

“AHEM. I don’t sing. My vocal chords just make sounds that make it seem as if I were singing.”

- Sweden

“You have a pretty voice, Sve :3”

- Finland

“one point for papa woot woot”

- Sweden

“IM SO GAY NORGE HELP ME”

- Norgay Dickmark Denbutt Denmark

“Spain’s got the booty pass it on”

- Iceland

“hot damn”

- Sweden

“OY YOU NORDICS FOCUS ON YOUR OWN CHAPPED ASSES SPAIN’S AINT AN INVITATION”

- Romano

“why is Denmark screaming and running into the bathroom with an extra pair of pants”

- Norway

“IT DOESN’T MATTER I FOUND HIM THE LITTLE SHIT IS ON THE ROOF”

- Norway

“A massager? oH NAW”

- Dickmark Denmark

“IM A GOOD NOODLE”

- Dickmark Denmark

“can you feel the ikea tonight”

- Sweden

anonymous asked:

What is your opinion on contemporary American cinema? Do you find it as dull and derivative as I do (very much so)? And which living and working directors (American or not) do you find to be the most exciting and inventive right now?

I find contemporary American cinema to be fractured. Aimless. And yes, most certainly derivative. The lifeblood and originality of filmmaking has been sucked from American cinema, leaving it desiccated and caricaturistic of what cinema ‘ought’ to be. I suspect much of this has to do with the dominance of studios and marketing and other such forces which make me wretch at the thought. A handful of directors and actors/actresses are spread thinly across mediocre projects that continue to be financed regardless of quality. I confess, American cinema was never a favourite of mine to begin with; I always tended to find it overly self-aware and self-conscious (even Allen at his best was overly concerned with pageantry disguised as self-deprecation; Kubrick alone remains superior and immutable). American cinema needs a vigorous dose of new voices, it seems – the Scorseses and Allens and Spielbergs (and new ‘cinemaaaa’ darlings Andersons and Finchers and Tarantinos and Nolans) have been churning out the same derivative twaddle for far too long. It is critical to hear more voices from the margins, from people who are undaunted and unconventional . The vitality of everyday life is missing from modern American cinema, too wrapped up in mannering and posturing for awards season and pretense rather than illustrations of the human experience.

That being said, I do see some hope in one area of American film, and that is in the horror genre. (Independent) American horror has never been better than it is now, moving beyond the slasher absurdity of the 1970s and 80s, and being actually, well, interesting. Film like House of the Devil, It Follows, You’re Next, The Witch, Spring, and The Guest are subverting genres and expectations of classic horror cinema in a feverishly exciting way, recalling the nascent dread like much of the British rural horror catalogue from the 1960s and 70s.

As for current directors? I’ve appended but a fraction of an ever-expanding list (not even including those who are dead) to capture those filmmakers of whom I have seen every film and without hesitation will see the next one (no Americans, incidentally). The crispness and clarity of their work leave me invigorated and suffused in wonder at their understanding of psychocinema. I await with bated breath their next masterwork. I would entirely recommend each one’s entire filmography (but have suggested my personal favourites in parentheses; some are, distressingly, exhaustive).

  • Abbas Kiarostami (Ta’m e guilass [Taste of Cherry]; Nema-ye Nazdik [Close-up]; Copie conforme [Certified Copy])
  • Andrea Arnold (Fish Tank; Wuthering Heights; Red Road)
  • Anton Corbijn (A Most Wanted Man; The American; Control)
  • Aparna Sen (15 Park Avenue; Mr. and Mrs. Iyer; 36 Chowringee Lane)
  • Béla Tarr (A torinói ló [The Turin Horse]; A londoni férfi [The Man from London]; Sátántangó [Satantango])
  • Catherine Breillat (Une vieille maîtresse [The Last Mistress]; Anatomie de l'enfer [Anatomy of Hell]; À ma soeur! [Fat Girl])
  • Christian Petzold (Jerichow; Barbara; Phoenix)
  • Claire Denis (Trouble Everyday; White Material; L'intrus [The Intruder])
  • Denys Arcand (Les invasions barbares [The Barbarian Invasions]; Love & Human Remains; Jésus de Montréal [Jesus of Montréal])
  • Götz Spielmann (Revanche; Oktober November; Antares)
  • Joachim Trier (Oslo, Aug 31; Reprise)
  • Joanna Hogg (Archipelago; Unrelated; Exhibition)
  • Michael Haneke (Caché; La pianiste [The Piano Teacher]; Das weiße Band [The White Ribbon])
  • Nicolas Windig Refn (Valhalla Rising; Drive; Bronson)
  • Nuri Bilge Ceylan (Uzak [Distant]; Kasaba [The Town]; Kis uykusu [Winter Sleep])
  • Peter Greenaway (The Cook, The Thief, His Wife & Her Lover; A Zed & Two Noughts; Prospero’s Books)
  • Peter Strickland (Katalin Varga; Berberian Sound Studio; The Duke of Burgundy)
  • Sally Potter (Orlando; The Tango Lesson; Yes)
  • Susanne Bier (Elsker dig for evigt [Open Hearts]; Brødre [Brothers];  Efter brylluppet [After the Wedding])
  • Steve McQueen (Hunger; Shame; 12 Years a Slave)
  • Tom Tykwer (Perfume: The Story of a Murderer; Cloud Atlas; Drei [3])
  • Tomas Alfredson (Fyra nyanser av brunt [Four Shades of Brown]; Låt den rätte komma in [Let the Right One In]; Tinker Tailor Soldier Spy)
  • Xavier Dolan (J'ai tué ma mère [I Killed My Mother]; Les amours imaginaires [Heartbeats]; Lawrence Anyways)