Lily never had a chance of a proper goodbye to both of her men
Because I’m super lazy, I combined this with another prompt: “Lily heard James hit the floor.”
Wrote this very quickly and it’s barely edited so sorry for any mistakes! Also, I changed it slightly to be all of her men.
Lily thinks of Peter when the door opens. Of little pudgy Peter, with his adoring blue eyes and never-failing loyalty, proud to be friends with all of them. Clever Peter, who was always the most cunning and secretive of them all. She wants to be angry with him, and for a second she is, but then the fury fades into sadness. She wants to hug him and tell him that he should not have been misled, that he was part of the good side and that they loved him. But it’s too late. Peter has betrayed them, and the Dark Lord is at the door.
When he comes into the house, Lily thinks of Remus. Kind, caring Remus, who always put everyone before him. Remus, who held more pain than anyone and still managed to stay firm in his beliefs. Remus who had found friends that wouldn’t judge him, although a few doubted him later on. The war has changed everyone, but Remus felt the pain long ago. Even if they do succeed, he will not be happy. Werewolves will still be marginalised, looked down upon. She knows that, and she wants to kiss his cheek and tell him that she’s proud of him, and that everything will be okay. But she can’t. Remus is away for the Order, and she will not get to tell him she loves him. Voldemort is near.
Lily hears him on the stairs, and her thoughts switch to Sirius. Her almost brother, who suffered so much, who was shunned by his family and who still remained faithful. Sirius, witty and gorgeous and intelligent. Sirius who will soon lose his second family. Tears well in her eyes as she remembers him and how close they all were. She wants to kiss his forehead and squeeze his shoulders and tell him that she loves him, and that he shouldn’t lose hope. She wants to make sure he doesn’t sink into darkness when they are gone, that he remains strong. There’s no time. He approaches.
James. He is on the landing, and Lily can see him in her mind’s eye: never showing fear, still standing tall, perhaps with his fists raised in defence. James, her best friend and lover and husband. He has lost so much and now, he will lose his life. Hot liquid spills down her cheek; she wants to hold him and kiss him and be there with him, fighting alongside him until the very end. James, who is so brave and so brilliant but who now stands at Death’s door. She thinks of him, of them, at school. Bickering and smiling and hugging and kissing. Of their marriage and their home and their child. She wishes she could grow old with him, have more children and watch them grow up. She dreams of a grey-haired, crinkly-eyed James, with creaky limbs but boundless love and energy even in his old age. She cannot run to him, as much as she wants to. Her feet are frozen on the ground as he falls, and a sob chokes her as she hears the soft thump of his body on the carpet. James is gone.
But Harry still lives. One year old innocent, naïve Harry, with his father’s looks but her eyes. Harry and his chubby cheeks and waving fists. She barricades the door in vain, piling boxes and toys and books as she thinks of Harry gurgling happily at his parents, and them hugging him together. She wants to see him grow up, going to school and making friends and living his life as he wishes. She wants to grow old and be proud of the man he becomes. She remembers the bump in her belly as she stands in front of his cot, and her child’s cries pierce her thoughts. Lily wants to cuddle him and kiss him and comfort him, but she is at wandpoint. She is wandless.
A green light flashes. She must save her child, and so she begs. She pleads helplessly with the man who has just murdered her husband and she asks him for mercy. She knows it is in vain, but she is desperate. She will save Harry. It will be the last thing she ever does.
In her last moments, Lily does not fear Death. She thinks of her boys. The ones she loves, those who she never had the chance to say goodbye to. As the emerald glow spills into her eyes, she has only one comfort: she will see some of them soon. She will get to be with some of them in the Afterlife, wherever that may be. The others she will watch, from far, far away, waiting with hope and sadness until their time comes too.