peter ha

Peter makes a mix-tape for Tony and they’re all love songs because Peter’s hoping that Tony gets what he’s trying to say. 

Tony, forever the oblivious because he thinks no one could ever love him, finds the mix-tape to be amazing and thanks Peter with a pat on the back.

Peter has never face-palmed so hard in his life. 

  • James: Don't be such a drama queen!
  • Sirius: I can't!
  • Sirius: My mascara would run.
  • James: You don't wear mascara.
  • Sirius: True. Perfection requires no alterations.
  • Peter: I've seen you wearing eyeliner.
  • Sirius: I've seen you eat an entire cake in one sitting.
  • Peter: Your point?
  • Sirius: Enhancing eyes or enhancing thighs. Who's the real winner?
  • Peter: Me? I had an entire chocolate cake.
  • Remus: Peter has a point.

Tony receiving little trinkets from the planets that Peter vistts. He soon has a whole shelf dedicated to them and looks at them, holding them whenever he’s missing the Starlord because it feels like Peter is right there with him. 

Peter never leaves a planet without picking up something for Tony, will always try to find the most interesting thing he can find. He loves the look of amazement that Tony gets whenever he looks at them and can never wait long enough to get home to him. 

  • Lily: All men are dogs.
  • Remus: *staring at Sirius* Some more than others.
  • Sirius: Do wolves count as dogs?
  • Peter: I'm not a dog.
  • James: No, I see you more as a rat.
  • Lily: I don't know where this conversation has gone.
2

character aesthetic // peter parker

“When you can do the things that I can, but you don’t, and then bad things happen, they happen because of you.”

peter after cacw
  • aunt may: hey what languages are you taking next year? spanish? french? german?
  • peter: german??? the language of germany??? wow I would've never, I, Peter Parker, have never even thought of taking that language because I, honestly and truthfully, have never gone to Germany. i have never EVER fought anyone in germany if that's what youre trying to say, I've always been in my room, doing my homework and dumpster diving, I would NEVER E V E R even try to go to germany, it's a horrible place, not that I would know BECAUSE I'VE NEVER BEEN THERE BEFORE
  • aunt may: what the fuck
Marauders at Disney
  • James and Sirius, upon entering the park, make a beeline to secure fast passes for their favorite rides (the ones like Matterhorn, Indiana Jones, Space Mountain, etc.)
  • At this point, Remus is really regretting not investing in a pair of those child-leashes that a good third of the parents at the theme park are sporting.
  • Peter tries running after Sirius and James, but gives up (not being fast enough) and hangs back alongside Remus, getting distracted by the array of gift/candy shops lining Main Street USA
  • Remus has to get a picture of Sleeping Beauty’s castle upon entering. He just has to. 
  • James and Sirius are really smug when they get to cut in front of everyone with their fast passes. Remus just gives apologetic looks, and Peter has to shovel down the pretzel he bought before they get on the ride. 
  • Ok, so considering the average temperature for Scotland during the summer time is around fifty seven degrees, and for southern California (L.A.) it’s around eighty one- they’re dying.
  • James and Sirius are wearing the bare minimum, and Remus has to rent a locker to stuff his sweater into
  • Sirius is rocking a man bun
  • James buys a Wizard Mickey hat and absolutely refuses to take it off
  • Peter may or may not be on his fifth churro by the time lunch rolls around
  • Remus really enjoys the small corners and alleys of the park where the crowd thins 
  • Peter gets a coonskin hat from frontierland
  • Lots of shameless flirting with princesses coming from Sirius that result in autographs with the occasional phone number attached. 
  • James seeing the Ariel and automatically missing Lily
  • Peter getting sick on the teacups ride after James decides to spin theirs as fast as he fucking can.
  • Lots of “JAMES NO!” 
  • Sirius and James, after hearing about the two hundred feral cats that prowl the park at night, decide to go on a hunt for them
  • They legit smuggle cat nip inside the park and search the bushes for cats
  • Remus is so done with everyone’s shit
  • He just wants to have a normal visit at Disneyland is that so hard to ask?
  • Peter really wants to watch the parades, but Remus sees this as an opportune time to beat the crowds (now gathered along the street) to the rides
  • Remus is honestly ride or die. He doesn’t fuck with these slow ass tourists who have no idea where they’re going. He knows where to go and everyone is getting in his way.
  • Sirius getting picked on by characters (i.e. Chip ‘n Dale tugging on his man bun and snickering at it) 
  • James in a flexing contest with Gaston
  • Remus only taking pictures the Mickey and Friends characters
  • And he’s all embarrassed to walk up to them at first 
  • James taking the mic from the tour guide on Jungle Cruise because he thinks his jokes are lame, so he starts dishing out puns like its nothing and does a mic drop
  • Peter screaming a little too shrilly when the Yeti pops out on the Matterhorn
  • Sirius and James trying to find the entrance to the secret basketball court on the matterhorn
  • Also using alohomora to get into restricted areas of the park
  • Sirius singing Small World on repeat
  • James trying to harmonize
  • Remus really likes walking through Sleeping Beauty’s Castle (James and Sirius are hardly impressed)
  • But his favorite ride is the Disneyland Rail Road
  • Peter’s favorite ride is Star Tours and he convinces the others to ride it at least four times throughout the day.
  • James’ favorite ride is Indiana Jones. When he sees the snake statues in the ride, he mutters “Snivellus?”
  • Sirius prefers Pirates of the Caribbean 
  • Remus getting really insecure because he notices little kids looking at the scars on his face with mild confusion- some are even scared
  • But then Peter Pan comes over and he does his thing. He tells Remus (making a big show of it so that others can hear) that he must’ve put up a good fight against the “pirate” that did that, and comments on how brave he is
  • Remus is just smiling the entire time and plays along with Peter Pan, and the kids gathered around are awestruck
  • Sirius and James posing for the camera on Splash Mountain 
  • Having to restrain Sirius and James from jumping into the Rivers of America to get to the island
  • Wade: I don't trust the media. Too many acronyms. What does CNN stand for? Literally no one knows the answer
  • Peter: Cable News Network
  • Wade: Could be. Literally no one knows.
Listening to old WTNV episodes is wild

“…And on the weekend of July 11th Welcome to Night Vale will be at dashcon.”

I’m not sure what they said after that because I’d started what would be a solid 3 minute fit of the ugliest of laughter keeled over in the kitchen unable to stop cackling long enough to walk the 5ft to my computer to pause the podcast