pet wear

sometimes i’m like “why am i still here” but then i realize that i’m often the only person who is around to take bad-to-eat stuff out of my dog’s mouth and i think there’s this sort of western idea of “if youre not CEO youre nothing special” but my dog is still alive bc of me and i’m still alive bc of other people so maybe i’m just here to pet cats and wear sweaters and help people take the glass out of their mouth. you know? maybe i won’t be CEO but maybe i’ll be able to help somebody afford their trip home. and i think that’s pretty okay, you know?

a list of Dream Daddy Plot Twists™ that are better than the Cult Ending plot twist (spoilers):

• Damien being an IT guy that volunteers at pet shelters and wears glasses
• Hugo being a huge wrestling fan
• Brian never actually wanting to compete at dad stuff but just awkwardly trying to impress MC all the time
• Robert’s child being a gorgeous businesswoman with a girlfriend
• the weed that Mat and MC bought actually being oregano
• literally anything else

Sweet plushie moments together <3

I know Lance was probably the shark but I used to have a little blue manatee plushie that i’d tuck under my chin all the time and it made me think of Lance. I also had a mint green and pink hippo when I was little. 

you’re the senpais so you should be setting an example for the underclassmen by wearing your proper uniforms!!

Make Your Own Star Dogstroyer

The Imperial-I class Star Destroyer is an impressive warship of the Empire, but this costume will put your pet in a class all its own. I chose to make the Star Destroyer out of cardboard, but if you want a more flexible version, you can make it out of poster board and cover it with felt. Either way, when your pet wears this costume, they’ll command a presence as a Star Dogstroyer.

Find out how to make your own below. 

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How to piss off your vet

1. Give human medication to your pet

2. Make that passive aggressive comment “With all the money I have spent here, I should: have my name on the building/have a whole wing dedicated to me/buy you a new car/have just gotten a new dog/etc”

3. Discuss a lot of concerns and do nothing to address them because it costs money to do diagnostics 

4. Make them call your spouse after spending 20 mins on the phone with you explaining your pet’s illness, recommended diagnostics, potential outcomes to explain the same thing to them

5. Call at the last minute to refill your pet’s important meds and then get mad when it is not ready for you at that second

6. Show up at the front desk to handle something that could easily be done over the phone

7. Use the statement; “Can’t you just give them some medication to fix it” when you refuse all diagnostics and “it” is a vague symptom with 20 differentials 

8. Text/message/post on Facebook asking about your pet at any time of day, but especially at 8:30 at night on a Friday

9. Call 1 hour after dropping them off for a surgical procedure asking if they are ready to go home

10. Treating their technicians, receptionists, assistants like crap 

11. Stop medications or change dosages without asking

12. Call asking for a same day appointment for vaccines because you are dropping your pet off at the boarders this afternoon for a week long vacation and getting mad when they cannot be squeezed in

13. Not making your pet wear an e-collar after their abdominal surgery and getting angry when they must be placed under general anesthesia again to fix an incision dehiscence

14. Having a very fear-aggressive puppy and getting offended when behavior training and puppy classes are strongly recommended

15. Laughing when the dog tries to bite 

16. Using the statement: “He started scratching at his ears/having goopy eyes/licking at his skin about a month ago”

17. Not telling the receptionist when booking the 15 minute vaccine booster appointment that the pet has been vomiting for 4 days and isn’t eating anymore