pet supply stores

Myths About Betta Fish

I’m sick of the pet industry always fucking animals like the betta over so let’s get some things straight
—————
MYTH: bettas like small spaces, they live in small rice paddies in the wild
REALITY: No they absolutely do not, sure some survive this, but it’s a cruel life to live. Rice paddies are actually quite big although shallow, the average male betta has about 3 feet of its own territory in the wild. Bettas need AT LEAST 2.5 gallons, but a 5-10 g is even better. You can get a 3 g tank from petco for like $10
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MYTH: you should feed your betta whenever it is hungry
REALITY: a bettas stomach is the size of its eyeball, it is very easy to overfeed. I feed my betta 3 pellets twice a day, but lots of people feed at different times with different food so I suggest doing some research and deciding what works best for you.
————–
MYTH: bettas are lazy
REALITY: bettas are inactive in small tanks because they’re aware that they have no space to swim and will hit walls, in larger tanks bettas are very active
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MYTH: bettas can only be kept alone
REALITY: it is true that male betta fish cannot be kept with any other betta, but (depending on the bettas personality) bettas can be kept with fish that are smaller and drab looking that won’t bite your bettas tail. I keep my betta with 2 snails and 5 ghost shrimp and he rarely bothers them. Female bettas can be kept in groups of 5 which is called a sorority. Keep in mind that these options are only possible in large tanks with lots of hiding spots.
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MYTH: bettas will eat live plants so you don’t have to feed them if you have plants in the tank
REALITY: bettas are CARNIVORES. They won’t eat plants, they will eat blood worms and brine shrimp which you can buy frozen. In fact feeding real prey is good along with pellets or flakes.
————–
MYTH: bettas don’t need filtration or heat
REALITY: they need both. As far as filtration goes, strong currents don’t mix well with bettas so a sponge filter is best.
————–
MYTH: bettas only live a couple months anyway, why should I be doing all this?
REALITY: with proper care, bettas can live 5 years.
————–
MYTH: bettas and all other fish are dumb
REALITY: bettas are actually very smart and trainable. Mine was taught to jump out of the water on command and come when called (by wiggling fingers). Some people have taught bettas harder tricks such as going through a hoop. They can even learn when meal time is and be ready for it.
————–
MYTH: My child will take care of the betta
REALITY: your child will lose interest within a week, YOU will be taking care of their fish. If you’re not okay with that don’t buy your kid a fish.
————–
MYTH: I should completely change the tank each time I clean it
REALITY: you should instead do frequent partial water changes of about 40% of the water
—————
MYTH: bettas are throw away pets
REALITY: there is no such thing as a throw away pet and if you think there is you shouldn’t own pets

Please always read care sheets before buying a pet because -newsflash- PET STORES LIE.
*drops mic*

anonymous asked:

Mulder goes away for the weekend so Scully has to take care of his fish and one of them dies and she has to scramble to replace it

He trusted her.  That’s what he said, in those exact words: “I trust you, Scully.  The fish know you.  They’ll be comfortable with you.”

So, here she was, on a Sunday morning, truly considering autopsying a dead goldfish as she stood in Mulder’s bathroom over the toilet because this couldn’t possibly be her fault.  She shook the cup in her hand just a little, wondering if maybe the fish was just playing dead, pulling a prank on her.  It would be just like one of Mulder’s fish to play that kind of joke on her.

“Wake up,” Scully said, giving another shake of the cup.  “Come on, wake up.  Move those fins.”

The fish remained belly up and Scully sighed.  She looked at her watch.  Mulder’s flight was due in less than two hours from now.  She’d taken damn good care of those fish for the last four days, stopping by every evening to feed them and even spending an hour cleaning the aquarium yesterday.  She even got them a new little castle to play in.

“He trusted me,” Scully told the dead fish, holding the glass up so she could look at it eye-level.  “Traitor.”

Poised to drop the fish in the toilet, Scully paused and then checked her watch again.  She knew from her trek to purchase the little plastic castle that the pet shop by her apartment wasn’t open for another hour.  And that wouldn’t leave much time.  She took the glass with her and found Mulder’s phone book in his desk drawer.  There was no answer at the first four pet supply stores listed in the yellow pages, but she got in touch with someone on the fifth try.

“Goldfish,” Scully said, holding the little cup up to the window where the sun was just starting to shine around the faded remains of a taped ‘X’.  “Pale yellow, white belly, thin, maybe two inches in length.  Do you have one?”

“Maybe,” said the salesman.  “I guess.  We got lots of fish.”

“I’ll be right there.”

Scully held a short funeral back at the toilet, crossing herself and shutting her eyes as she flushed the fish down.  She washed the cup and got in her car.  The pet shop was a ten minute drive, next to a drug store.  A bell jingled as she entered and the smell of kibble hit her immediately.  An elderly man with a green apron appeared out of one of the aisles.

“You the lady that called about the fish?” he asked.

“Yes.”

“Come on back to the tanks.”  He waved her over and she followed him down the narrow aisles to the back of the store where about twenty tanks bubbled in a dark space.  He pointed out the goldfish tanks to her and she inspected them closely.

“Too orange,” she murmured.  “Too fat…too small…”

“You got a little one at home lost one of their school?” the man asked.

“Something like that.  This one!”  Scully tried to point out a fish amongst the others that was darting around.  It wasn’t easy to pinpoint, or for the old man to catch in his net.  He finally gave it to Scully after catching the wrong fish twice and she managed to wrangle the chosen replacement after a few minutes.  Half her arm was wet by then and she was pretty sure the rest of the fish were traumatized, but she caught him.

“Remember to let him acclimate,” the salesman reminded her as she paid for it.

“Thanks.”

Fifteen minutes later, Scully was pacing in front of the tank, watching the plastic bag with the new fish float around the top of Mulder’s tank.  What if the other fish don’t like the new fish?  What if the new fish don’t like the others?  What if Mulder notices the difference?  What if another one dies?  What if…

“It’s just a stupid fish,” Scully said out loud, peering intently into the tank.  She checked her watch.  Another ten minutes for the fish to acclimate.  An hour before Mulder’s flight landed.

Scully’s cell phone rang and she answered it without looking.  “Scully.”

“Hey, Scully.”

“Mulder?”

“You wouldn’t be available to swing by my apartment right now would you?”

“I’m…actually already here.  Why?  Aren’t you supposed to be on a plane?”

“Got an earlier flight.  I’m in a cab right now on my way home, but I can’t find my keys.”

“You’re…in a…how far away are you?”

“I don’t know, fifteen minutes maybe.”

“Fifteen…I was just feeding the fish.  I’ll…stay here.”

“Thanks, Scully.  See you soon.”

“Mmhm.”

“Dammit,” Scully said, hanging up the phone.  

Fifteen minutes could mean ten.  Could mean five.  What should she do?  Dump the fish in without letting it fully acclimate?  Wait it out?  She watched the time tick by on her watch, biting her thumbnail.  At nine minutes, she couldn’t take it anymore.

“Sorry little guy,” she muttered, untwisting the rubber band from the top of the plastic bag.  “You’re just going to have to deal with this.”

Holding her breath, she dumped the new fish in the tank and watched closely as it darted through it’s new environment, disturbing the other fish who flew out of its way.  They all settled after a few moments and all seemed normal.

Engrossed with the fish, she jumped when there was a knock on the door.  “Shit,” she whispered, looking at the wet plastic bag in her hand.  Grimacing, she shoved it in her pocket and then wiped her hand off on the front of her jeans.

“You’re a lifesaver,” Mulder said when she opened his door, pushing past her with his luggage.

“How was the conference?”

“Conference-like.  Next time Skinner sends me to one of these things, I think I’m going to develop a spontaneous hemorrhoidal condition.”

Scully eyed Mulder nervously as he dropped a briefcase on his desk and ran his hand over the stack of mail she’d been collecting.  She tried not to glance at the fish tank, hoping he wouldn’t either.

“Well,” she said, turning to head to the door.  “I should…”

“Hey!” Mulder called and she froze, turning slowly.  He was peering inside the tank, tapping on it slightly.  She clenched her jaw.

“I’m sorry,” she said, guilt eating at her for trying to trick him.  “I just thought-”

“Where’d that castle come from?”

“…I just thought the fish might like it.”

Mulder smiled and stood up straight, walking over to her.  “If you need any references as a fishsitter, I’ll be happy to provide.”

“I think I’ll stick to my day job.”  She hesitated.  “Do you need my key back?”

“Nah, I’ve got copies.  You keep it.  In case of fish emergencies.”

“Welcome back.  See you at work tomorrow.”

“See ya.”  Mulder waved and then plopped down on his couch.

Scully gave a little wave of her own and then headed to the door.  Suddenly, she didn’t feel very trustworthy.  Like his trust was misplaced and undeserved.  “Dammit,” she muttered under her breath, turning back around.  “Mulder, I can’t lie to you.  One of the fish died.  I found it floating belly up this morning and I went to the pet store and got a new one.  I don’t know what happened, it was fine yesterday, they were all fine yesterday, I even cleaned the tank and I got them the castle and they were fine.  I didn’t save the body, but if you ask me, it had to be some sort of pre-existing condition or old age or…or whatever else it is that fish die from.”

Mulder raised his brows at her and then chuckled.  “Scully, I’m lucky if I make it a month without losing one of the little suckers.  They cost a quarter at the shop around the corner, which is probably why I go through so many of them.”

Scully’s cheeks burned a little with embarrassment.  “Well, this one was two dollars.  Maybe it’ll last longer.”

“Maybe.”  He grinned at her, pushed himself up from the couch, and walked towards her.  He touched her wrist with his index finger a little bashfully.  “See you tomorrow, partner.”

Relieved of her burden, she nodded once and turned to walk away.  He’d never really called her ‘partner’ like that.  Like he meant it.  She smiled as she left his apartment.

The End

#RememberingMGP PART 1: Most of you guys only know MiniGuineaPig as Fuzzberta’s big sister, but the biggest piggy relationship of her life was with her original buddy Patches. MGP was our first peeg, and Patches was our second. We got them as tiny babies, and they grew up together, and lived together until Patches suddenly passed when they were almost 3. They were only a few months old in this video—younger than the jelly babies are now. In January 2011, I decided I wanted a pet again. I’d had hamsters since high school, but their short lifespans made me too sad. After some research, we decided to get guinea pigs. We scheduled a visit our local cavy rescue that weekend. But while we were at the pet store getting supplies for our future piggies, we saw some baby guinea pigs for sale. I told the other human that it seemed weird that we were about to get guinea pigs when neither of us had even held a guinea pig before, so we decided to hold the pet store babies “just to see what it felt like”. Two of the babies squirmed and freaked out like regular guinea pigs, but the tiny orange one simply glommed on and melted into our arms. Even though we had fully intended to adopt, we COULD NOT put her down. And that’s how we met MiniGuineaPig. We decided we would at least adopt her cagemate, and spent a lot of time trying through rescues and Craigslist. But after driving all around the Bay Area with no success for a week, we felt bad about our mini guinea pig living all alone. So we went back to the same pet store and got the last, patchey baby—Patches—to be her friend.

anonymous asked:

A customer asked if we sell "official" vests and patches for service dogs at the pet supply store where I work. Gee, that's not shady at all, huh? Sorry dude, we're not here to help you pass your Chihuahua mix off as a service dog.

A while ago I had a job in a pet supply store in a well to do Midwest suburb. In the middle of the day on a weekday we had a young man come in leading a second young man who was on all fours on a leash. What happened next has to be the most singularly Midwest thing I have ever witnessed. We all acted like nothing was at all unusual about this, customers and staff alike. I showed them where the dog treats were and which brands were all natural. I’ll admit to being a little glad I didn’t have to ring up their sale though.

Slytherin and Hufflepuff Run Errands for McGonagall
  • *on broomsticks*
  • Slytherin: Now, let's see. She wanted a new litter box, Phoenix feather, and a journal...*pencil in mouth*
  • Hufflepuff: She wants a litter box? Are we buying Professor McGonagall a new toilet? Oh my god
  • Slytherin: Stop with your shitty thoughts, I'm sure she just owns a cat or somethi-
  • Hufflepuff: But, she's a cat. You remember she's a cat don't you?
  • Slytherin: Yes but she wouldn't d-
  • Hufflepuff: I wouldn't doubt it! I feel a bit honored...we get to pick her very own toilet...
  • Slytherin: *swoops down to store. Puff follows* This way
  • Hufflepuff: *lands beside Slytherin* Here we are, the place where shit goes down. The toilet store
  • Slytherin: it's a pet supply store, and I'm SURE it's for a cat she must own
  • Hufflepuff: Yeah...okay...
Voodoo Mama's Ingredient Book: Chicken Feet

When it comes to Voodoo, Hoodoo, and other practices of those from Africa, the foot of a chicken has always held a very powerful and special meaning. They can be added to any magical practice, just be sure to acknowledge the history of this magical act.

Oftentimes used as charms and talismans, chicken feet are a wonderful addition to any spell that involves protection; be it protection in your love life, protection in general, protection of your belongings, etc. My grandmother would usually use them to protect from dark energy, evil spirits, and psychic attacks. If you would like to use them in the protection of your home, it is best to leave them near the front door.

The way in which the chicken foot works is based in how chickens usually react when messed with. Imagine a chicken scratching you with its legs. Ever had that happen?… It hurts. One can also use chicken feet to curse someone by leaving one on their property with the proper intent. I’d suggest burring it outside the room they spend the most amount of time in.

When it comes to how to get them any old dried up chicken foot will do. You can usually buy them in a lot of places, including pet supply stores as they can be used as treats for dogs. A little personal preference of mine is to paint them. Especially if using one as a charm. Paint anything on it really. This helps preserve it and keep animals away from it. I usually paint it black and draw symbols having to do with my intent in red.

mall au has finally arrived!!!! for august 1 - 7 your muse will be a worker, a boss, mall security, walmart employee, costco employee, 7/11 employee, or a rebellious fired worker/boss and will face competition in the big and beautiful mall called  heavens eyes mall!

this au was based of of a dream i had, it’s about jjba characters working at the mall but characters in the au like hol horse work at walmart or f.f who works at costco. but in the au speedwagon got fired and because of it started a rebellion! 

please tag this at #jjbaMallAu

 please pm @kinkytaka or @not-so-daily-gio-gio to be a worker, boss, mall security, walmart employee, costco employee, 7/11 employee, rebellious fired worker/boss, to have your own kiosk, and maybe even the mall owner 

rules 

  • please tag nsfw
  • no pedophilia, rape, ect 
  • you can only work one job (that is if your blog is a ship blog you can work different jobs)
  • please don’t bring drama into this 
  • have fun!

WE MIGHT CHANGE THE DATE OF THE EVENT BUT WE ARE HOPING TO STAY ON TIME

please read more! 

Keep reading

I’m a bather at a salon in a popular pet supply store. The other day, there was one groomer and I on shift. I was working for 6 hours, and her all day. The girl who worked the earlier shift with the groomer is also a bather. Basically, this groomer worked all day grooming all her dogs with appointments and every single walk in. And NO ONE TIPPED HER! FYI, dog groomers should be tipped. Don’t be a dick to you dog groomer please.

6

Here is Dinah, whose mother is the one of the abandoned Angoras I mentioned. I don’t mean just any long haired cat, I mean they 100% conform to the CFA Angora standard. She likes to drag clothes and stuffed animals around the house… her mom left her or she failed to follow when her siblings were moved and the owners of the house she was born outside of just took her in, though the mom did come back to nurse her twice daily until I took her at 5 weeks (my mom and I are pretty experienced with dealing with feral-born kittens and she was being kept in a crate which was of course less than ideal). She LOVES dogs. I really wanted her from the beginning to be acclimated to travel and possibly wanted to show her as a household pet because she’s so pretty, so I took her with me to a pet supply store and every time she saw a dog she had to get down (I had her on a lead) and go see them. The owners of the house had a Lhasa apso or shih tzu that played with her and was used to cats (the abandoned cats who are now feral in behavior LOVE the dog too), and she loves our dog… she’s anxious and territorial with cats though. She also loves boxes and being in her carrier.
I took her on the bus (in preparation for taking her on a plane eventually) and had an extra seat for luggage/pets and she slept most of the way except when she basically requested to be held so that she could see a pretty girl that was sitting on the other side of the aisle, lol. I took her to my Japanese class as well and she was really interested in a specific young androgynous guy there…
She’s not that weird genetically but her mom and aunt are like, lavender tabbies which is basically a dilute torbie with some smoke tips. She does have huge eyes though so combined with her small size she looks like a permanent kitten though she’s about a year and 4 months old.

—– She has SUCH pretty eyes omg

anonymous asked:

Hii!! I'd love some fluffy fluff headcanons for Kuroko, Aomine and Kagami!! Thank you very much in advance, you're wonderful! 💕💕

as per your most lovable request, here is some fluffy fluff. 

Kuroko (Kuwoko)
- I pin him as another fuzzy sock lover, and will definitely wear them. But, you’ve noticed the only time he wears them when he’s over are the same days that he drags you to the couch and refuses to let you do anything other than cuddle with him. (Not that you mind)

- Whenever he decides what date night should be, it always involves both of you going to Maji to get some milkshakes, and then going to the local pet supply store and looking at all the kitties and kittens up for sale. He’s waiting till one resembles you just as Nigou resembles him, and in a heartbeat he will purchase it.

- You guys once went to watch a basketball live, and you thought it was cute that he held your hand while you were in the bleachers. That is until without even glancing at you, he started a thumb wrestle. 

Aomine
- You made matching bracelets for the both of you and got sad when you saw he wasn’t wearing his. When he finds out that’s where you’re sulking, he lifts up his pant leg, showing you he wore it around his ankle. “Can’t wear bracelets in basketball babe, but this way I’ll never have to take it off.”

- When you lay down to watch movies it always ends up in the two of you cuddling, and Aomine falling asleep. But even when you try to slip away, trying not to wake him up, if you leave his arms he wakes up in an instant, complaining he’s never able to fully sleep without you in his arms.

- Whenever you’re having a bad day in one way or another, he’ll bring you a drink; hot chocolate in the winter and frozen lemonade in the summer. If you’re at school, he’ll leave it on your desk with a heart around an “A”, and if you’re at home, he’ll walk in with a new movie to watch while you enjoy the drink.

Kagami:
- Before your relatives wedding, he asked you to teach him how to dance so that he could give you that special moment without any slip ups. It took a lot of practicing and laughs, but after a couple sessions, Kagami got the hang of it. He’d randomly grab your hands in a swift moment no matter what you were doing in the apartment and dance to whatever song he was singing. Whether it was waltz or rap.

- After your first date, and your first kiss, you watched out the window of him walking down your drive way, only to see him throw his fists in the air and happily hop a few steps. He still doesn’t know you have a video of it.

- He’s not one to post on social media, only to follow his friends and favourite basketball teams/players, but he suprised you one night when he posted the photo you guys took in the mirror at the back of the claw-game in the arcade. Kagami isn’t one for good captions or expressing feelings well, so he instead put the emoji of a cat, the emoji of a tiger, and the emoji of a heart. He thought atleast you would get it.

- ^ got super embarrassed when all his friends started commenting and poking fun but he knew you loved it so much so he never took it down.

Pet Store Secrets

A customer comes in to purchase a replacement battery for an invisible fence collar (shock collar).

Customer: “Hurting him is the only kind of training that works.”

What I wanted to say: You should be shot.
What I said: “What kind of dog do you have?”

Customer: “A Maltese.”

What I wanted to say: You should be shot, you lazy abusive fuck.
What I said: “Have a nice day.”

I saw this and thought it looked fun so I went to the pet supply store to get a cat toy like the one in the gif but I couldn’t find one. I showed the girl there this gif and she went and got another person and they got one more person and finally they got the manager who told me it was not a cat toy, but in fact an adult toy, at which point I realized this is a plastic pecker on a suction cup. I hate Tumblr.

Originally posted by thecatsmustbecrazy

anonymous asked:

could u provide some advice for venus fly traps ? my mum bought one at a local supermarket and realized (after getting home) that she doesnt know what to feed it. its only little, and some of the heads(??) honestly look dead - one of them is black. any basic tips to help keep it alive ? ty !!

Venus flytraps are one of the trickier carnivores to keep. The good news is, you really don’t need to feed it yourself. These guys evolved to catch bugs and they do a good job on their own, overfeeding can easily be bad for them. If you really want to see one in action though, wingless fruit flies or very small crickets can be purchased from a petco or other pet supply store in the reptile food section.

Traps will turn black and die off as the plant grows, remove the dead ones carefully. Make sure the plant has a constant water supply (I keep mine in a shallow water dish) and only use distilled water for it as mineral buildup is harmful. Also avoid using fertilizer.

The biggest flytrap killer though is sunlight. They’re tough to keep indoors, they really do like bright direct sun and will get sickly without it.

Don’t get too worried if it starts getting blacker soon though, these are plants that go dormant in winter and will look pretty dead. Just make sure its somewhere the roots wont freeze and keep it watered and in sun if possible.

California Carnivores is a big nursery that has a very helpful website and Facebook page as well. Good luck!

Day 1: Chess (Royai Week 2017)

NECESSARY EVIL

She would be the queen who would make him king.


Roy Mustang fiddled with his silver pocket watch nervously. His lieutenant – no, it’s captain now – was late.

Fifteen minutes late to be exact.

Riza Hawkeye was never late…

…unless something happened to her.

The door opened with a creak, and the newly promoted brigadier general almost jumped out of his seat.

“I’m terribly sorry, sir,” the blonde woman began, entering the room with her beloved dog, “but Hayate’s leash broke on our way here, and since the pet supplies store was on the way, I decided to drop by before coming here. I apologize for not calling.”

Roy released a sigh of relief. “It’s alright, lieu – err, captain,” he fumbled awkwardly. “Sorry, I’m still not used to your new rank.”

“It’s the same for me, sir,” she admitted with a slightest hint of a smile.

He sat up straight and motioned for her to take a seat. “Well, let’s get to business then, shall we?”

She settled on the armchair across his, while Black Hayate laid down by her feet.

She inhaled deeply, as if preparing herself for the worst.

“Col—“ she shook her head, then tried again. “Brigadier General Mustang, may I have your permission to speak freely?” she requested weakly, so unlike her.

He nodded.

“Sir, I’m sorry, but…” Her right hand grabbed the arm of the chair tightly and continued. “I’m afraid I cannot watch your back anymore in the near future.”

Nothing could have prepared him for her declaration.

He froze in his seat, his breath caught in his throat.

For a minute or so, his mind went utterly blank.

“What are you talking about?” he demanded harshly. It was all he could say after recovering a part of his wit.

“Please don’t get me wrong,” she said steadily even when her hands shook as she placed them on her lap. “I’m not abandoning you, sir. I just found a better way to help you reach the top, that’s all.

Their eyes met, and hers were filled with equal parts of desperation and dread. He could only guess at how his looked like. He was a convoluted mess of emotions, and panic was slowly taking over his entire being.

“Do you trust me?” she asked, her voice so gentle that it calmed him down considerably, but not completely.

He kept his gaze on her as he replied. “With my life.”

Her eyes widened slightly at his confession, and he added as an afterthought, “…and everything in it.”

It took her a second longer to recover.  A sigh escaped her lips, then her explanation came afterwards. “Please believe me when I say I’m doing this for your – no, for our goal. Right now, I’m still working on the details, but I promise you, everything will be worth it.”

No, not everything. I can’t lose you. Roy screamed inside his head.

He tried to reign in his feelings, but he was failing miserably.

“What is this really about, Riza?” His voice was loud, but trembling.

Her eyes widened once again, but she regained herself in a blink of an eye.

Slowly, the corners of her mouth lifted as she countered carefully, “Which chess piece do you think is the strongest, sir?”

“Definitely the Queen,” he responded in a heartbeat with an intense gaze directed at her.

The direction of their conversation bewildered him, but he decided to indulge her. After all, Riza Hawkeye was a woman of purpose. There must be a point in all of this. There had to be or he would lose his mind from the confusion.

“…and when is she most powerful?” she resumed her questioning as she crossed her arms.

“When she’s moving across the board,” he stated mindlessly.

“Precisely.” A proud grin took over her countenance.

He raised an eyebrow. “What are you getting at?”

She ignored his question and started speaking instead, “The Queen is useless when she’s always next to the King. She, out of all the other pieces, has the greatest chance of leading the King towards victory.”

Roy tilted his head to the side. He already knew all of this, so why–

“One last question, sir,” she declared suddenly, effectively interrupting his musing. “Who is more powerful than the Queen?”

He scratched his chin before he voiced out, “Isn’t it the King?”

“Don’t you think he’s the weakest one of them all, sir? After all, he’s the main target, but can only move one square at a time.” She reasoned out evenly.

He let out a displeased grunt.

Riza chuckled softly at his undisguised dismay. She knew how much he adored the chess metaphor, and here she was, insulting the King who was supposed to be him.

“Fine,” he acquiesced, letting her have her fun. “Then pray tell, my fair lady, who is more powerful than the Queen in the game of chess?”

She regained her composure, then captured his gaze once more.

“The person who moves the pieces across the board.”

Her answer floored him, and all of a sudden, everything fell into place in his mind.


Riza watched as his eyes lit up in comprehension. He might not know what the actual plan was, but at least he had some idea who the players involved might be.

In about two years’ time, Führer Grumman, her maternal grandfather, would set the stage for her, and she planned to take the country by storm as the First Granddaughter. If everything went according to their plan, she would become the de facto First Lady of Amestris since she was the one – and only, he assured her – woman in the führer’s life.

By doing so, Riza believed that she could pave the way to the top for him.

It was a brilliant idea, really. She came up with it after reflecting on the events that led to the Promised Day.

It was her conversation with King Bradley, in particular, that prompted her to come up with this plan. She knew that the homunculi got away with what they had done for centuries because they were good at manipulating the perception of humans – of the masses, in the case of Wrath. They eventually stopped the homunculi’s plot and brought down the Bradley regime, but the system – as well as the institutions associated with it –  that Father and his homunculi had established remained.

And then one day, Riza realized that the only way to beat it was to join it.

It was high time they started playing politics.

In the end, politics was simply another game involving cunning moves and great sacrifices.

She finally understood why her grandfather insisted on playing chess with Roy. He was preparing his favorite protégé for what was in store for him the closer he got to the top.

This time around, she refused to become a passive piece.

She would lead him to victory and would do so in a way only she could.

She would be the Queen who would make him the King.


HAPPY ROYAI WEEK~!!

Soo… it’s a little rough around the edges since I was cramming so much a bit. It’s supposed to be the prologue for a multichapter fic entitled Playing Politics, which I was planning to work on maybe never eventually. I’m still deliberating whether to write the rest of it because I would have to ignore Roy and Riza’s epilogue photo (where he’s a general without the ‘stache please and she has short hair) for this story to make sense. Going against canon breaks my heart, but the canon is breaking my heart, too!! T__T

Kinda Complicated | M.C.

Guess who’s back, back again? Noelle’s back, tell a friend.

Okay yeah, I’m sorry for that. But I’m back! I have like 7 drafts just waiting to be posted. By the way, I’m still looking for a co-writer, so if you’re interested, message this blog. Also, send in your requests! I’ll go now and let you guys read this.


Requested: nope. I just liked this concept

Summary: based off of the song by Scott Helman. If you haven’t heard it, you can listen to it here. This also may or may not be based on an adventure I had with my best friend.

Warnings: some swearing and mentions of drinking

By the way, for any of you who aren’t Canadian, American or Puerto Rican, Pet Smart is a pet supply store. I believe it is called Pet Supermarket in Europe.

Also, there is mention of drinking at the end. Drink responsibly kiddos and please don’t drink if you’re underage.

Last little announcement, I promise. I’m Canadian. I spell certain words with a ‘u’ (p.ex.: favourite). Please don’t get mad in my inbox if you spell it differently. 


“You are crazy! You can’t climb that, you’ll get us kicked out!” y/n said

“I am not crazy! Also, challenge accepted” Michael answered

“Michael I don’t care how hard you try, you are not Barney Stinson or Neil Patrick Harris.”

“You don’t get to tell me what I am! I am Barney Stinson IN THE FLESH y/n. And just because you said that I will climb this Pet Smart aisle and get us kicked out. And just to make matters worse for you I will do it all while singing Fergalicious by Fergie.”

“Okay firstly, you aren’t Barney Stinson, you can’t get laid for shit and you sure as hell can’t pull off a perfect week. Secondly, do I get to sing Fergalicious with you?”

“How dare you! I was gonna let you be my backup singer but then you said that. You only get to sing Fergalicious if you climb this shelf with me.”

“Oh fine. I will use my non-existent upper body strength to climb this shelf with you. But only because I want to sing Fergalicious.”

“Fergalicious is the best bait. We begin the climb on three, okay?”

“Okay.”

“One-.”

“Wait!”

“What?”

“On three or after three?”

“On three! I just said that!”

“Fuck off.”

“Aww, I love you too.”

“Onetwothreego”

Y/n started climbing before she even hit two, leaving a pissed off Michael on the ground of the Pet Smart.Y/n began to sing Fergalicious right after the word ‘go’ was uttered, forcing Michael to be her backup singer rather than Fergie herself (bless her soul).

Fergalicious definition make them boys go loco. They want my treasure so they get their pleasure from my photo. You could see me, you can’t squeeze me. I ain’t easy, I ain’t sleazy.” y/n, who was already half way up the shelf, sung.

On the ground, Michael just rolled his eyes. Y/n got to the top of the shelf and threw down a dog bed to hit Michael in the face while yelling:

“Suck my dick, bitch”

“Rotostatic” He yelled back. It was their warning word.

The word they yelled to warn the other of nearby authority figures. They had used it since freshman year of high school. It was the name of the local carpet cleaner’s shop. His truck had passed them while they were climbing their school roof in the 9th grade. That word had helped them avoid expulsion so many times. That word was engraved on the inside of the gold heart shaped necklace Michael had gotten y/n the year they both turned 16. Many people would argue that engraving ‘rotostatic’ on a necklace ruins it but y/n loved it. The necklace is still being worn daily a year later.

As soon as the word left Michael’s mouth, y/n climbed down two shelves and jumped the remaining 4. Michael began pretending to look interested in the dog bed that had been thrown at him and y/n was doing the same, but with that bed’s competitor. 

Whenever this type of thing happened, they pretended to be a couple debating two competing products. They had done this with creams, ribbon, protein powders, eggs (that was their favourite story to tell. How they got away with smashing eggs on each other’s heads in public), condoms, tampons, and now dog beds. They both thought it was pretty amazing.  

An employee came to the aisle they were in and asked if everything was okay.

“Everything is perfect. The only problem is my wife and I seem to be disagreeing on which dog bed is better. What’s your opinion?” Michael answered. The employee let out a sigh and explained that the dog bed y/n was holding was of a better quality. 

They thanked her and she walked away. She mumbled to her co-worker:

“I think they got a disease or something.” Her co-worker nodded along. Neither of them tried to make it subtle.

“Disease huh? Last time I checked, I only had you and you only had me.” Michael whispered to y/n

“Fuck ‘em. Also since when did we agree to bump me up from girlfriend to wife?” y/n answered as they made their way out of the store, both of them subtly flipping off the employees and hoping they would notice.

“Why are you complaining?” he shot back. He wrapped his hand around her shoulders and they made their way to their ride.


“Hey, Mike you remember that one time we went to PetSmart?” 

“How could I forget? After all, we are banned now” He answered y/n’s question with a chuckle 

That was nearly a year ago. Nowadays, Michael and y/n rarely ever have time to have crazy adventures like that one, but when they do, you sure as hell can bet they’ll do the stupidest thing you can imagine. 

The only downside to that is that Michael is now famous, so everyone is on the lookout for his face. It makes doing borderline illegal things way more difficult.

“I miss that,” they both said at the same time. Once they realized what had happened, they were both laughing their asses off. They always thought they had some kind of telepathy and moments like those just confirmed their theory.

“Anyways, I got this tweet and it’s a link to the urban dictionary. Someone put our friendship on the site.” y/n said after they had both calmed down

“Damn that’s amazing! What does it say?” he answered

A friendship where some days you shine and some days you rust. Reminiscent of y/n y/l/n and Michael Clifford’s friendship” y/n read off of her phone 

“Is it just me or do I feel like they left out a meaning?” 

“See I asked the person who tweeted this out that and they said they ‘couldn’t find a word for our kind of insane’ I find that to be quite stupid, to be honest” 

“I agree.”

“With me or with the tweet”

“That’s up to you to figure out”

“Goddamit Michael”

“Aw I love you”

“I love you too you sick asshole. Wanna go do something borderline illegal?”

“Y/n you know I can’t do that. There’s gonna be paparazzi, we’ll get caught,” he said sympathetically 

“Fine. Wanna get drunk while listening to Green Day?” she sighed

“Sure. What song do we begin with?” he answered

“The usual,” she winked 


Part 2?

Masterlist

anonymous asked:

I just got a really positive interview for a pet supply store today and I'll find out tomorrow if i get hired! Its smaller scale too (like the busines only exists in 3 states) so hopefully that'll mean less customers to deal with (especially rude/creepy ones)! 😸

give me fake ah ryan doing ridiculous shit in between serious buis

the crew is sitting in the living room, flipping through channels when they settle on the news because hell, are they ever not on the news? and a news report comes on about a robbery downtown

ryan was preoccupied, putting fish flakes into three separate fish bowls.  they all kind of eyed him that morning when suddenly there were 3 bowls with pretty betta fish on the kitchen counter that weren’t there before.  he leans against the doorway, sure he knows what this news story is

‘an unusual robbery occurred at a local pet supply store earlier this morning.  a masked assailant wearing a dark hooded sweatshirt and a large backpack picked their way into the store, presumably to rob the locked up cash registers.  what shocked the police when they went through the tapes was that when the thief left the premises, they were carrying three plastic baggies.  when the storeowner was contacted to see what was stolen, the only things he noticed was that his betta fish, small glass bowls, and a few containers of fish food were missing.  the cash register remained untouched.  it was later discovered that the assailant left a note behind, saying quote unquote “these fish don’t deserve to be mistreated and uncared for this way.”  the police have been unable to identify the person in the video, but from this screenshot, it almost looks like it could be a very familiar face mask belonging to known gang member nicknamed ‘the vagabond.’  the police are looking further into the incident and seeing if any other robberies like this have occured.’

they all kinda just turn to ryan, who’s chuckling and already going back to tend to his new fish

‘why, tho’

ryan points wildly ‘look at ‘em! look at how sick they look!  the water they were in was murky and they were dying.  i decided to help them’

honestly they aren’t even surprised anymore, like yeah of course ryan would go to a pet store in the middle of the night to save 3 fish.

‘so which one’s reggie’