pet monkeys

anonymous asked:

i HAD NO IDEA GORILLAZ HAD PHASES AND STORYLINES could you try and explain them quickly for us new bbies getting into this fandom??

absolutely!!

so the WHOLE ENTIRE STORY of gorillaz is actually extremely ridiculously long and very very complicated and confusing so i am going to try my very hardest to sum everything up as best as i possibly can without missing too much

(also the “phases” don’t really mean much besides marking the different album releases, which is why you may have noticed the band members look different every few years)

phase 1 (celebrity takedown) started around 1999. before phase 1, there was only this guy:

murdoc niccals. on august 15th, 1997 (d-day), he wanted to steal music equipment so he crashed a car into a music store where this guy:

stuart tusspot (then in his young twenties) was working, and he hit stuart in the eye and sent him into a coma. murdoc was arrested, but rather than serving time he had to do a lot of community service and also take care of stuart while he was in his coma. murdoc being murdoc, he crashed his car a second time and sent stuart flying from the backseat, through the windshield and he hit his good eye on the concrete, which woke him from his vegetative state, thus “creating” the stuart you know today:

he was nicknamed 2D because he now has two “dents” in his head (which are actually 8-ball fractures if you wanted to know how this look could be possible). murdoc saw that 2D was really attractive and he could sing, so he made 2D the singer of his band

now, this is russel hobbs:

he was involved in a drive-by shooting when his best friend Del (Deltron 3030 irl):

was shot and killed. del possessed russel, thus turning his eyes completely white and haunting him from time to time when he plays the drums. he also raps in some of the gorillaz songs.

murdoc and 2D needed a drummer so they kidnapped russel and russel for some reason forgave them and agreed to be their drummer.

the guitarist for a short while was 2D’s girlfriend, Paula:

and together the four of them formed the band “GORILLA”:

and the only song they recorded together was “ghost train”. paula was kicked out of the band because russel caught her having sex with murdoc in the bathroom. they needed a new guitarist, so they sent out an ad in the paper. not too long later, this little angel arrived at their front door:

she saw the ad and fed-exed herself from osaka to kong studios:

in essex, england. she was only ten and she only knew one word: noodle. therefore, they named her noodle and they made her the guitarist because she was really really good.

thus, gorillaz was born:

then they made the first album around 2000, titled “gorillaz”. they released a bunch of music, music videos, interviews, merch, a completely interactive website where you could walk around their house, and they even released little shorts that were shown on MTV for a while. you can watch all of their videos and interviews on youtube. they won some awards too, and even performed live using holagrams.

{clint eastwood
19/2000

rock the house

tomorrow comes today
 (epilepsy warning)
live performance
 (epilepsy warning)
all “bites”
 (shorts shown on MTV)}

around 2002, they got a little tired of one another. lots of different personalities living under one roof. they faught a lot, especially murdoc and 2D (2D is not “all there” and he takes a lot of medication, murdoc is an asshole and abuses 2D CONSTANTLY). so they all left kong studios for a while, but not before releasing some b-sides (g-sides).

at the end of two years, murdoc ended up in a mexican prison, russel excorcised del’s soul from his body (but kept the white eyes), which sent him into a horrible depression, 2D got a job at his father’s amusement park, and noodle went back to osaka, japan to discover more about her past.

while in japan, noodle found out from some old dude that she was actually a part of some kind of organization that turns young children into war-machines (yeah, i know, fucking crazy, right?????). her memory had been erased by the old dude so that she could live a normal life, and when her memory was restored, she remembered everything, including how to speak fluent english. having found herself, she was the first one to go back to kong studios. she wrote most of the second album by herself before the others came back to kong and helped her out.

(btw, that is noodle’s pet monkey, mike. murdoc had a pet crow named cortez, and 2D had a pet dog named Prince, but no one knows what happened to them. keep reading)

this was around 2004 and would start phase 2 (slowboat to hades):

note the drastic style change. this phase was famous for its darker look, and the music became a lot darker in their second album, “demon days”.

idents
dirty harry

rockit

dare

feel good inc.

el manana

they released some more teasers (which were “filmed” during their two-year break), more music, more music vidoes, more live performances, and more merch. even some gorillaz games. very cute, very fun (especially if you have a dark sense of humor? there is one game in particular that has the murdoc/2D fans feeling some type of way lol). if you watch the videos and interviews, you can really tell how their personalities shift from phase to phase. also, this is the phase where the windmill island makes its first appearence:

and this is where things get very weird and very very complicated (especially for a cartoon band). in the feel good inc. music video (watch it), noodle is on this island and she is being chased by helicopters from afar.

in the el manana video (watch it now or you might be confused), however, noodle was supposed to get “shot” by the same helicopters before parachuting safely off of the island where she would then flee to the maldive islands to get away for a while (she just wanted a vacation but i guess she didn’t want people to find her). however, in the gorillaz autobiography, murdoc says that something completely different happened.

murdoc was trying to get some guy killed (i forget his name) because murdoc is a horrible guy who holds a lot of grudges. murdoc tricked this guy into hiding inside the windmill to wait for noodle to “die” so he could take her place. noodle did not know about ANY of this. she wasn’t going to get hurt either way because she was given a parachute. so when DIFFERENT helicopters (DIFFERENT PEOPLE THAT WERE NOT HIRED BY MURDOC OR GORILLAZ!) started shooting at her, TRYING to kill her, she freaked out and the windmill ended up crashing into a canal. there is a picture in the autobiography of her parachuting off the island, but no one knows where she went after she hit the ground. everyone searched for her, but no one could find her. at this point, murdoc was confused as well, but everyone assumed she still went to the maldives to mellow out—or that she DIED.

this left 2D, murdoc and russel in deep depression. russel left kong studios first, as it was falling apart due to it being built atop a landfill and infested with zombies. 2D left afterwards to live in beirut, and only murdoc was left in the rubble that was kong.

this was around 2007. the second b-sides album (d-sides) was released and if you went on the interactive website, it was completely abandoned. murdoc tried to sell it but it was gross, run down, shit everywhere, noodle’s room was left bare. BUT. sometime in 2007, noodle sent a message to murdoc via radio telling him to come and save her. she never stated explicitly where she was, but she was in deep, deep trouble. murdoc assumed she was in hell, and, being a satanist in a made-up universe, he somehow made it to hell and searched high and low for noodle, but never found her (THOUGH HE RECENTLY STATED THAT THE ENTIRE HELL TRIP MAY HAVE BEEN A DRUNKEN FEVER-DREAM, SO WE ARE ALL EXTREMELY FED UP AND CONFUSED ABOUT WHAT HAPPENED TO NOODLE AFTER THE EL MANANA THING. WE STILL DON’T KNOW WHAT HAPPENED, THOUGH THE MURDOC/NOODLE FANS ATE THAT SHIT UP).

after this, murdoc got word that the organization who tried to murder noodle (the black clouds) were now after him. he had no choice but to leave kong studios forever. so he set kong on fire and left. then the autobiography was released (it is implied they started writing the book well before even the middle of phase 2).

and then gorillaz were on hiatus for about four years. not a single word. if you went on the website, nothing changed. shit was cryptic. but the fandom was loyal and WAITING.

THEN. OUT OF FUCKING NOWHERE, sometime in 2009, murdoc showed up in an interview talking about new gorillaz music. and very slowly, more information was released on the “unofficial gorillaz website”. the fandom was BATSHIT. half of us were butthurt about how ugly murdoc looked, and the other half was excited about NEW GORILLAZ MUSIC, and more importantly, THIS PICTURE:

people were mostly concerned with noodle and the fact that her eye was all fucked up, presumably from either the fall from the island OR from when she was “in hell”. also, peope assumed the whole band was together again, but this was FAR FAR FAR from the case.

murdoc wanted to make new gorillaz music that would “top” their second album (which could never happen, but a pickle can dream). murdoc couldn’t get a hold of russel, and noodle was presumably MIA, so murdoc kidnapped 2D in beirut and shipped the poor guy to plastic beach:

plastic beach is essentially murdoc’s hiding place where he is “safe” from the black clouds, and it is literally an island made out of garbage and spray painted pink. 2D did not want to be there, but murdoc held him captive:

in a bedroom at the southernmost tip of the island, underwater, guarded by a whale (2D has a crippling fear of whales, murdoc is a GIANT ASSHOLE). he made 2D sing, and 2D agreed because he has been agreeing to murdoc for a long time and he knew better than to disobey him.

since gorillaz was lacking a drummer and a guitarist, murdoc had to improvise. to replace russel, murdoc used a drum machine to mimic the way russel plays the drums. to replace noodle, murdoc gathered some of noodle’s DNA from the el manana crash site and built CYBORG NOODLE:

she was just as good on guitar as noodle was and she was also the “war machine” that noodle was “supposed” to be, i.e., murdoc stuffed her with weapons. she even had a gun that fired from her mouth.

thus, this was the “phase three: plastic beach” crew:

they recorded the new album, titled PLASTIC BEACH, and murdoc “kidnapped” all of the artists that gorillaz collaborated with and they just had a grand ol’ time. the album was released in early 2010, followed by a revamped website featuring a full tour of plastic beach, more merch, and LOTS AND LOTS AND LOTS of interviews. some of them are probably no longer findable, but it doesn’t matter because pretty much every single interview was just murdoc hooting and hollering and drinking because IT WAS ESTABLISHED THAT AT THIS POINT HE HAS LITERALLY GONE INSANE.

the music video for stylo was released and did not contribute much to the “main plot”, which disappointed some people because we all wanted to know where noodle and russel were. after a long time, murdoc made a twitter to communicate with the fans who were more interested in the now extremely involved plot line of gorillaz as well as the music.

sometime in 2010, new “idents” were released. 2D’s showed him getting kidnapped and shipped to PB, murdoc’s showed him getting SHOT AT on a boat, probably on his way to plastic beach. then RUSSEL’S ident was released, and it showed him jumping off of a dock into the ocean in an EXTREMELY ANGRY MANNER. lots of people speculated he was mad because he found out what murdoc was doing or he was going to confront murdoc about noodle’s whereabouts or both. cyborg noodle’s ident was released after that, it was nothing special, it was just really creepy (btw you can watch all the idents on youtube!

AND THEN. AND. THEN. noodle’s ident was released and IT WAS THE GREATEST DAY. AFTER FOUR YEARS we finally got to see what happened to noodle, dear, dear noodle:

her ident showed her on a boat (she is around 18-19 at this time), being asked to evacuate because the boat was being attacked by pirates (presumably the black clouds, coming after noodle). being the supreme badass she is, she grabbed a gun and stormed out of the room, and that was all we got. the fandom was in uproar. why the cat mask? was it to cover her eye? why was she on a boat?

shortly before the “on melancholy hill video”, murdoc stated he could see a brown rock moving towards plastic beach (official art told the fans it was russel’s head, as russel had eaten toxic waste and had grown into a giant):

and it was implied from this that russel was going to meet up with noodle sometime in the near future. 

hope you’re still following me. im trying my best lol

in the “on melacholy hill” video, murdoc was now aware that noodle was very much alive and also in some kind of trouble, so he and all of the album’s collaborators went on a giant search for noodle, but never found her. they ended up finding some manatee on top of a rock (random af), while noodle defended her boat from the black clouds, and ended up escaping on a life raft with her guitar. and then this happened:

in both the stylo and OMH videos, a mysterious figure called THE BOOGIEMAN appeared:

he is implied by murdoc to be a symbol of death, as he “murders” both a police officer and the manatee on the rock. not much more is known about him.

after this, not much more happened. there was more official art, more games on the gorillaz website, more merch, a gorillaz live band tour (not featuring the actual memebers of gorillaz, much to murdoc’s frustration), one new single called doncamatic, and a music video released during the tour featuring russel and noodle:

about a year later without any more activity, gorillaz released a fourth album titled “the fall”, composed entirely on an ipad by 2D (note how “gorillaz” = russel, “demon days” = noodle, “plastic beach” = murdoc and “the fall” = 2D). it was not entirely popular, but there were some really good tracks.

the gorillaz hype slowed to an almost-halt as far as plot was concerned. noodle and russel never made it to plastic beach, murdoc was still on the island with 2D, 2D was still a wreck, etc etc etc. the fandom was content, but the plotline was pretty stagnant for another year or so. there were a lot lot LOT of unanswered questions, but the fandom was used to it, as gorillaz was never really “designed” to have such a convoluted plotline to begin with, as you can probably imagine. who would have thought “gorillaz” would evolve into such a CRAZY, INVOLVED STORY?? we were at least content knowing noodle was safe with russel, and they were both happy (russel loves noodle like a daughter btw its adorable af). as far as 2D and murdoc went, a lot of people kind of knew that their relationship, as dysfunctional as it was, was still salvagable as 2D is pretty much infatuated with murdoc, as fucked up as that seems.

in 2011, rhinestone eyes was supposed to get a music video. alas, this never happened because the music video was no longer being funded for (it costs a looooot of money to make gorillaz music videos, and gorillaz lost a good deal of popularity after phase 2, mostly because of the plotline. no one besides the die hard fans knew what the fuck was going on in the music videos).

BUT we were blessed with the rhinestone eyes storyboard, which was pretty much everything we could have asked for. the black clouds were surrounding PB, murdoc was flipping out, the boogieman was cornering him. 2D was about to be eaten by the whale buT THEN OUT OF NO WHERE, FINALLY FINALLY FINALLY FINALLY RUSSEL GRABBED THE WHALE WITH HIS HUGE YAOI HAND AND SENT IT FLYING ACROSS THE OCEAN, SAVING POOR 2D. MORE DRAMA ENSUES, AND AT THE END OF IT ALL, RUSSEL OPENS HIS GIANT MOUTH TO REVEAL NOODLE HIDING INSIDE. GOD BLESS.

now, even though the music video was never made, it is implied that everything that happened in the storyboard happened irl. but we still had so many questions left unanswered regardless.

in 2012, gorillaz released a music video to go along with their new single DOYATHING feat. ANDRE 3000. the hype for this video was as real as it could get, and the gorillaz fandom was practically pissing their pants after they saw the storyboard.

the doyathing video (which was actually a collaboration with converse shoes) depicts the four members of gorillaz living together in a janky apartment. what a shock, but what happened to plastic beach? 2D seemed a bit more “himself”, and to everyone’s relief and jubilance, he opened the door to noodle’s bedroom to reveal noodle sleeping soundly, and he smiles, and the fandom was finally at ease. to top it off, russel is shown laying on top of the roof of the apartment, sleeping, noticably smaller in size, but still a giant nonetheless. and attached to the apartment, to EVERY SINGLE GORILLAZ FAN’S COMPLETE SHOCK, is the fucking windmill island, albiet in shambles. how they got it up in the sky again is a mystery to us all.

and, according to murdoc a short while after the release of the video (or before, i cannot recall), after russel and noodle arrived on the island, the cyborg attempted to kill murdoc (which was a surprise to no one….). noodle and the cyborg duked it out and the real noodle ended up coming out on top. and they all left plastic beach after the black clouds fled the scene, probably because it was shot to bits.

and that’s it as of right now. that is the gorillaz story, in summary. there are still a plethora of unanswered questions, however, as we have yet to hear ANYTHING from russel and noodle. we still do not know what exactly happened to noodle after el manana. we do not know why russel jumped into the ocean, we don’t know how russel and noodle found the beach, we don’t know what happened to noodle’s eye. we don’t know a lot of things. hopefully some of our questions will be answered in PHASE FOUR! which has officially started as of yesterday.

i hope i have given you a sufficient insight on the wild, wild world of GORILLAZ. they are more than just a band, they are characters with complex backstories and their adventures are pretty fucking crazy if you have the patience to keep up with them

thanks for reading!

xoxoxo

Warframe but like in high school

Atlas: Senior. Workout buddies with Rhino. Has a rock collection. Surprisingly good at cooking.

Ash: Senior. Bros with Excalibur. Closet weeb. Thinks Banshee is attractive.

Banshee: Junior. Loves listening to dubstep. Headphones never come off…NEVER. Very quiet and shy.

Chroma: Senior. Has a large pet lizard that he feeds live chickens named “Draco”. Plays Dragonborn in Dungeons & Dragons. Has multiple dragon posters.

Excalibur: Senior. Plays Quarterback on the football team. Has high grades. Also closet weeb. Has a crush on Mag.

Ember: Junior. Has a thing for Valkyr. Throws lit firecrackers at people. Smokes weed.

Equinox: Freshmen. Creepy twins. Finish each other’s sentences. One wears black, the other wears white. ALWAYS together.

Frost: Junior. Has a thing for Ember. Is always wearing a hoodie because he’s cold…all the time.

Harrow: Sophomore. Really into occult stuff. Has Demonic pentagrams on his notebooks and lockers. “Do you have time to talk about our Lord and savior, Satan?” is the line he uses to break the ice. Taken a liking to Nekros. History teacher’s favorite. Scares the hell outta Mag. (Poor girl.)

Hydroid: Sophomore. Likes pirates of the Caribbean. Wears a pirate hat everywhere. Perverted. Tells terrible pirate related puns.

Inaros: Sophomore. Has a beetle collection. Timid. When threatened throws pocket sand. Nekros’ younger brother.

Ivara: Freshman. Loves Archery. Reads comics. Green Arrow and Hawkeye are favorite heroes. Pro Hanzo in Overwatch. Always falls asleep in class.

Limbo: Junior. Wears a Tux everywhere. Thinks he’s good with the ladies. Not very good with the ladies. Terrible at Math.

Loki: Sophomore. Ash’s younger brother. Plays pranks with Mirage. Has a criminal record for Vandalism and Public indecency. Also smokes weed.

Lotus: Principal. Knows everything about the students. Chooses to do nothing about it. Inexplicably always drinking coffee. Plays handheld games (like DS and PSP) during work hours.

Mag: Freshman. Trusted by Lotus to keep everyone in check. Never acts out. Straight A’s. Makes Nyx jealous because her boobs are bigger. Loves Astrology and Physics. Has science blog. Smallest in school

Mirage: Senior. Teases Loki with “Perverted acts”. Loves playing pranks. Blew up Principal’s bathroom and didn’t get caught. Rarely shows up for class. Likes to dress Mag up in outfits.

Mesa: Junior. Plays Overwatch with Ivara, mains McCree. Loves to tell you what time it is (you know damn well what I mean) Has a bunch of old Cowboy movies. Remembers every scene of Walker Texas Ranger.

Nyx: Senior. Small boobs, big brain. Everyone listens to her, Sorta the disciplinarian.

Nekros: Senior. Always wears all black. Never smiles. Childhood friendswith Saryn. Unaware that almost every girl and Limbo (excluding Nyx, Saryn, Ember, and Mirage) is afraid of him.

Nezha: Sophomore. Only Transgender in school, loves to tell everyone about it. Burned down the gym one time and didn’t get caught. Wrote his name in fire in the school courtyard.

Nidus: Junior. Owns every zombie movie ever. Likes to wear zombie makeup to school. Jumpscares Mag all of the time.

Nova: Freshman. Best at astrophysics…beats Mag actually. Has a weird thing for blowing shit up. Respected by Ember. Tutors Rhino and Valkyr.

Oberon: Junior. President of Nature club. Loves butterflies. Extremely dense but has an A in biology.

Octavia: Junior. Banshee and her are the female equivalent of bros for life. Made Banshee’s Spotify playlist. Makes her own mixtapes. Plays said mixtapes on morning announcements. Lotus would do something about it if she didn’t really like the music.

Rhino: Senior. Jacked! Pretty dumb. Great football player.

Saryn: Senior. Owns a Katana for God knows why. Pretty chill. Student Council president. Smokes weed and drinks. Developed feelings for Nekros. Created the dogmatic teaching of “Biggest boobs makes the rules”. Also not very liked by Nyx.

Stalker: Sophomore. Emo. Probably planning school shooting. Hates everyone but Nekros. Has a really creepy crush on Mirage.

Titania: Freshman. VP of nature club Huge crush on Oberon but will never say it. Even dressed up as a butterfly to get him to notice her only to be outshined by his butterfly costume.

Teshin: Gym teacher. Doesn’t give a fuck.

Trinity: Junior. Goody two shoes. Helps out the school nurse. Wants to be a doctor. Asked Volt to play Doctor. Volt thought she wanted to like practice medicine which they did…sorta.

Vauban: Senior. Engineer. In robotics. A’s in physics. Heard of sports at most. Always in charge of fixing everyone’s….everything. Lotus even bribed him to fix the computersin the lab rather than paying for an actual professional. Worked out in the end.

Volt: Junior. On track team. Listens to Sonic the hedgehog soundtrack while jogging. Crush on Saryn. Avoids Trinity actively.

Valkyr: Sophomore. Good at gym but not much else. Anger issues. Pummeled Hydroid to a pulp for looking at her butt too long. Rhino’s younger cousin.

Zephyr: Junior. Owns a pet hawk that creeps out everyone considering it follows her every command. Does parkour and hanglides.

Wukong: Freshman. Practices gymnastics. Practices martial arts with the Bo staff just to say he can. Showed up to practice drunk one time. Has a pet monkey named Pyjak that he puts sunglasses on and takes selfies with.

Clem & Darvo: College kids that hang out near the school. The suppliers of all of the contraband that goes around the school.

Amaryn (New Loka Lady): Vice Principal. Lotus’ advisory and all-around babysitter. Struggling to find a way to hide Lotus’ video games from her.

Cressa Tal (Steel Meridian Lady): English Teacher. Claims she hates men yet has a new boyfriend every few weeks. Every class is like a sad romance novel.

Arbiters of Hexis: Mean teachers I forgot to cover.

Ergo Glast (Perrin Sequence guy): Math Teacher. So boring he sometimes puts himself to sleep while he’s at the board teaching.

Red Veil dude: History Teacher. During class he makes random Conspiracy theories. Everyone thinks he’s crazy.

Why the Disney guys are great

ERIC: He loves his dog. He plays the flute really well and that’s hard to do. Really gentle and sweet. When he found Ariel on the beach he took her home and took care of her. Great smile. Is a chill guy but will also not hesitate to stab and kill an evil sea witch with his boat.

PHILIP: Hears a pretty sound and follows it. Great singing voice. Never realizes that the girl he fell in love with is the princess he’s supposed to marry. Falls so in love that the first thing he does is go to his father and tell him. Has that goofy little hat with a feather. Fought a motherfucking dragon on a cliff.

NAVEEN: Immediately takes off his royal suit into a civilians outfit and disappears playing ukulele. Even though he’s turned into a frog he’s still oozing confidence. Can only mince food, doesn’t know how to do anything else. Made a ring out of scrap even though they’re frogs. Is willing to give everything up as long as Tiana gets her restaurant. Has that nice curl that falls onto his forehead. Unplaceable yet charming accent.

HERCULES: His strength too big for his goddamn body. Goes from zero to a hundred real quick. Even though he can deck a monster in a minute flat he has no idea how to talk to girls. Socially awkward. Good with kids. Can do a push-up on one finger. When told to use his head he took it literally. Punched his uncle, the god of the underworld, in the face.

FLYNN RIDER: Sarcasm galore. The Smolder. Drop dead gorgeous looks. Doesn’t mind that he’s on a wanted poster but does mind that they can’t get his nose right. Is the only one who sees it’s weird to randomly start singing. Can’t fight for shit, barley manages to make do with a frying pan. Has the most ridiculous birth name in Disney history. Got stabbed in the gut but cut Rapunzel’s hair to save her, not at all caring about himself. First words after not dying aren’t “I love you” but “I have a thing for brunettes” because of corse they are.

ADAM: Swooshes his cape around in the shadows like some kind of wannabe batman. Is extra as fuck. Still acts like a child sometimes. Has had no social interaction for years but is trying his best. Gets easily confused. Doesn’t know what to do when he realizes he has feelings for people. Is too shy to tell Belle he loves her. Feels bad the second after he scares Belle away. Would literally rather die then live without the girl he loves. Has the most extra transformation back into a human while everyone else doesn’t.

MAUI: Gets scared easily. Amazing hair. That little face he makes when he can’t use his hook right. Was building a statue of himself in his cave like a dork. Magic tattoos. Can’t fish to save his life. Gave humans fire and wind and coconuts. That smirk he does, you know the one. Great sense of humor. Did everything he could think of to make humans happy so they would like him. Was a total puppy when he got his hook back and fixed.

FERDINAND: So fucking sweet and gentle. Has a name that tells us he doesn’t even need Snow White for animals to follow him around. Sings to Snow White when she’s on her balcony like a modern day Romeo. Knows when Snow White went missing because he kept visiting and goes to look for her right away. Is literally heartbroken when he finds her, thinking she’s dead and is overjoyed when she wakes up. A good boy, a soft boy. Literally has done zero things wrong in his entire life.

ALADDIN: Tricked the genie right off the bat. Jumped right in to help Jasmine with the guards. Steals food but ends up giving it to orphan children living in the street. Is the most selfless person in Agrabah. Quick thinker and can outsmart anyone. Is one of the only Disney princes who actually know how to sword fight. Has matching hats with his pet monkey.

LI SHANG: Sexuality crisis. “You fight good”. Turns a bunch of losers into warriors. Rarely ever wears a shirt for some reason. Tries out his new title of captain alone in his tent all exited like a little kid. Doesn’t give up, not once, on anything. Would literally die for Mulan. Fine as hell.

CHARMING: Gets bored at his own ball. Is a hopeless romantic. Doesn’t care for people who gush over him because he’s the prince, and in fact took interest in Cinderella because she was the only one not doing that. Jumped out a window for Cinderella. Is a super supportive husband. Went door to door looking for Cinderella, determined to find her no matter what. Good dancer.

FELIX: Doesn’t know how to be mean. Considers totally harmless words bad language. Ridiculously short. That video game sound when he jumps. Thinks that by saying Ralph’s catchphrase it will give him Ralph’s power to wreck stuff as well. Can speak qbertese. Dripping with southern farm boy charm. Is a shit dancer but that’s what makes it fun to watch. After accidentally triggering Calhoun he respects her making him leave and never uses the phrase again. Pulls Vanellope back from danger on the rainbow bridge and then makes sure she stays behind him. “Do you think they’ll stop there?” “YES!”


(( If I missed any that you want to see, just let me know & I’ll make a part 2! ))

Okay but imagine a ModernAU!ATLA...

(Not my picture. Kudos to the artist Nymre because it looks amazing!)

…where Zuko and Azula are the popular kids with a cruel business man tycoon as they’re dad. Their parents are divorced and their dad won full custody of the kids (there was probably the bribing of a judge in there). Everyone thinks the siblings are just so cool and badass that they don’t even bother to actually talk to them in order to know that Azula and Zuko aren’t alike in any way.

Azula is Miss Queen Bee. She’s a black-belt in her after-school Martial Arts program and is known for never going easy on an opponent, not even beginners. She’s best friends with Cheer Captain Ty Lee and the apathetic Mai who isn’t in any clubs because that’s “too mainstream and boring.” Mai is also “dating” Zuko (a case of a childhood crush becoming a real relationship).

Many girls envy Azula for her money and her beauty. Others hate her for her being a grade A bitch. No one, except for maybe her brother, actually knows that she lacks in social skills. When she was young, she tried to gain her mother’s attention by practicing martial arts vigorously. She had no time for friends. Mai and Ty Lee are the kids of other wealthy business families, so it was only expected that they be friends. Azula is a teenager now. She wants to date but has no skills in talking to others and getting them to like her whatsoever.

Zuko was abused by their dad so he doesn’t bother going home. Instead he lives with his Uncle Iroh and works at the tea shop his uncle owns below their apartment. He complains all the time about working at a tea shop but he would never even consider quitting.

He also practices Martial Arts with his uncle in one of his uncle’s Martial Arts studio for free (“He’s a member of the White Lotus!”). When his uncle is not with him, he practices with dual swords. It all helps him with his anger management and his bad memories.

In school, he doesn’t talk to anyone (basically a Lone Wolf). People automatically associate him with his sister. He wishes they didn’t. He doesn’t do anything out of the required studies. He’s not in any clubs. He doesn’t kiss up to the teachers. He doesn’t hang out with friends. Honestly, he’s lonely but he would never admit it. Just like how he’ll never admit that he actually likes that annoyingly bubbly and hyper underclassman Aang who seems to have made it a ritual to visit Zuko in the library during the elder’s free period to talk to him bug him.

Aang is that underclassman that everyone likes. The cheerleaders keep trying to recruit him to their squad because he’s so bubbly and loud and nice (and he’s seriously considering joining because cheerleading doesn’t sound too bad). He always wears that hooded vest jacket with a blue arrow running down the back and on the hood and it gets on his friend Katara’s nerves because “Do you even wash it?!”

He is best friends with siblings Katara and Sokka, Sokka’s girlfriend Suki, and even Toph, the tough tsundere tomboy in his grade who always gets in trouble with the teachers because she takes off her shoes in the middle of class (“Shoes are weird-feeling!”). He wears a bison necklace around his neck, and if anyone asks about it, he says he’s family’s symbol is a bison and he’s just showing family pride. He has a pet monkey too (nobody bothers to ask why). He lives with his parents but hangs out more with his godfather Gyatso, who is a family friend and a hardcore Buddhist. He wears matching beaded bracelets with Gyatso to showcase their close bond.

Toph is the blind daughter of a wealthy family who wants to treat her as a fragile doll. She hates that, which is probably why she became friends with Aang. Aang was the first person to treat her as a person and not a blind little girl or a rude classmate. She used to have a crush on Sokka but got over it when he started dating Suki because they actually go good together. Instead she settles for teasing the couple to no end. Toph will just randomly show up at her friends’ place because she’s “bored” (usually she actually just doesn’t want to go home to her parents but she’ll never say so). She gets her kicks off of teasing others (no one is safe).

Katara and Sokka come from a middle-low class family but they don’t mind it. They have a great father and grandmother. Their mom died when they were little so Katara wears their mom’s necklace to remember her by.

Sokka is on the soccer team. He thinks he’s just so cool but actually he’s just a dork. His first love was a girl named Yue. Sadly Yue died years ago from cancer. Sokka misses her, sure, but he doesn’t let it keep him from living his life. He was a ladies’ man for a while before meeting his match in the form of Suki, the girls lacrosse team’s Captain. They started dating after a month or two. Since then, they’ve been attached at the hip (that grossly cute couple that everyone is lowkey jealous of).

Katara is the “mom” of their friend group. She’s always worrying about her friends and do things for them even though they tell her not to. She knits them things in her free time. She’s a member of the swim team. She can also be oblivious when it comes to guys. Many of their guy friends like her, including Aang. She only dated one guy, though; Jet. He was a jerk and has basically made her weary of dating anyone else.

At one point, Aang manages to add Zuko into their friend group by bringing (dragging) the elder with him to one of their hang outs. Katara couldn’t believe it because Zuko was the only guy Katara gave a glance to (she kind of thought he was cute). But Katara didn’t bother trying to flirt because Zuko is “dating” Mai (honestly the couple has been growing apart for a while).

The group bothers visits Zuko on his shifts at his Uncle Iroh’s place. Uncle Iroh and Toph become good friends (she now often goes there by herself to talk to Iroh when she doesn’t want to go home). Uncle Iroh and one of the tea shop’s regulars, June, ship Zutara hard. It doesn’t help that the two involved are starting to like each other.

Eventually Zutara does become cannon (like it should have in the show but whatever, not like I’m salty or anything). At first Mai was angry but she got over it. After a while she started dating Ty Lee and revealed to everyone that she was bisexual.

(That’s all I got so far, but can you imagine it?)

anonymous asked:

How would the rfa and Saeran react to MC being an irl princess of some foreign country? Like... honest to goodness royalty? Thanks!

A/N: I hope this was everything you wanted! I don’t really know much about royalty so I just kinda rolled with it.. If it’s not good I’m sorry! Anyway, if there are parts that don’t make sense i’M SO SORRY I HAVE A FEVER but i’m using this time to write requests because my bby followers deserve it. Sorry for being gone for so long! Thank you all for the support you give us, 404 and I are working hard on requests right now <3 ~ 626

*YOOSUNG

  • this poor boy had no idea, he doesn’t pay much attention to pop culture like that
  • one day you invite him over to play games at your house because you have a super huge tv and you knew he’d love that!
  • when he’s at the gates of your mansion house, he calls you because there’s no way this can be your house???
    • “MC, are you pranking me??? It was bad enough last time when you put toothpaste in my oreos!”
    • “Just come in, you dork”
  • when he hears the gate buzz, he finally realizes that you’re rich as hell
    • it all makes sense now??? You always take him out to super expensive restaurants and for Christmas you got him an amazing gaming computer???
  • he’s about to faint oh my god yOU’RE SO RICH
  • when he’s roaming around the hallways of your mansion looking for your room (he refused the butler’s help, he could do it himself), hE SEES A PICTURE OF YOU AND YOUR PARENTS AND YOU’RE ALL WEARING CROWNS???
    • nah, no, there’s no way you’re royalty, you guys probably did a photo shoot, there’s no way this is possible
    • wait is that an entire row of pictures where your dad is meeting important people
    • is that Barack Obama? Is that the pRIME MINSTER OF SOUTH KOREA???
  • he faints
  • when he wakes up, he finds himself in a huge bed and you’re sitting next to him playing a game
    • “You’re finally awake! I’ve told you that you need to take care of yourself, did you even eat today?”
    • “MC ARE A YOU A QUEEN?”
    • “No, but I will be in the future”
    • Aaand he faints again
  • Once he finally gets used to the idea of you being a princess, it makes so much more sense to him!
  • You’ve always sounded really polite and elegant when you speak, and you handle the RFA fundraisers so easily, no matter what crisis comes???
  • He loves seeing you all dressed up, you’re so cute and beautiful!!! <3
    • You’re his Princess Zelda

*ZEN

  • He thought your name sounded familiar when you introduced yourself in the chat, but he didn’t really think about it
  • But when he finally gets to meet you, he’s in so much denial???
    • It can’t be, a princess fell in love with him
    • If you thought his ego was big before, it’s the size of the Titanic now
    • It’s even bigger when you tell him you watched his movies before you talked to him on the app
  • It never really hits him until you go shopping with him one day and you buy him a Louis Vuitton suitcase aS IF IT’S NOTHING???
    • wAIT YOU’RE BUYING LIKE 5 BAGS TOO???
    • Like yeah he makes decent money from acting, but holy hell you’re rich
  • He honestly loves this so much though
    • You two are an amazingly dressed power couple!
    • You’ll take over the political world and he’ll take over the pop culture world <3
  • You end up giving him “prince” lessons
    • You teach him how to deal with the pressure of the public and how to speak politely but firmly
    • You make him walk with books on his head and record him even though that’s something you never had to do
    • You get him to quit smoking by telling him a true prince would never do such a thing
    • He almost cries
  • HE LOVES DOING PHOTO SHOOTS WITH YOU, HE WILL USE AN EXCUSE TO BE IN A MAGAZINE WITH YOU
    • “it’s your half birthday”
    • “it’s national best friend’s day”
    • “it’s tHE ANNIVERSARY OF THE DAY WE FIRST DID IT
    • zen pls no
  • He wears his future crown at home when no one is around
  • He’s really happy that you’re a public figure so he can flaunt you when you guys go out <3

*JAEHEE

  • She knew the second you introduced yourself in the chatroom!
  • She’s honestly dazzled, a real life princess??? What is this???
    • But she kept herself in check, she realized you probably have a lot of people who hound you on a regular basis, she didn’t wanna be one of them
  • But she honestly loves talking to about your country’s political system
  • With your leadership skills and Jaehee’s organizational skills, you both work together to implement programs for underprivileged children
    • You two are a power couple omg, literally unstoppable, you two even consider starting clean water projects in other countries???
    • Unstoppable
  • Jaehee considers opening a coffeeshop chain in your country
  • She loves seeing you dress up!!! You’re so adorable and beautiful in all the elegant clothing <3
    • She totally doesn’t take pictures of you when you aren’t looking, there’s no way she has an album of 300 pictures of you
  • She’s really afraid of how the world will react when they find out you two are actually together???
    • Dumbass tabloids think you two are “gal pals”
    • But you don’t care, even if you have to step down, you don’t care
    • “Listen Jaehee, I love you. You’re my best friend and I would not trade that for the world. If my country wants me to step down because I have a girlfriend, I will. I’ll find a life with you because I cannot imagine a life without you.”
    • tEARS SO MANY TEARS
  • Jaehee  highkey lowkey uses you to meet famous people (but she loves you, es okay)
    • You don’t really mind though, it makes her happy
    • So you take her to as many events as you can, you want to make her smile as much as you can
  • You love this precious little bean and you are going to give her the world

*JUMIN

  • Of course he knew who you were, he wasn’t an uneducated idiot
  • And while it was nice to know that you weren’t with him for the money
    • He was kinda disappointed???
  • You’re a princess, you have the entire world at your feet
    • He wanted to spoil you, but you??? Have??? Everything you want or need???
    • But with the help of Zen but with his brilliant mind, he was able to come up with stuff he knew you never got!
    • hE WILL MAKE SO MANY THINGS FOR U
  • He started making food for you <3
    • And yes it tastes terrible at first but it got better after awhile!
    • At the beginning he was the type to just put the entire egg with the shell in cake mix
    • hE’S SO CUTE IN AN APRON OMG
  • He takes knitting classes???
    • He knits you everything he possibly can, a sweater, scarf, gloves, beanies
    • He totally doesn’t knit a baby blanket and baby hat for your future kids
  • He supports your decision not become queen because you decided you wanted to do other than things than run a country
    • Like be his totally hot secretary
  • You eventually move into his place and he lowkey feels ashamed bc it’s so much smaller than what you’re used to
    • But you assure him that you prefer his place because smaller places feel so much more homey than mansions
  • You’re actually much busier than Jumin when it comes to work so he’s always home before you and he spoils you so much
    • When you come home, you can always expect a shoulder/back massage
    • There’s always a warm meal that he makes because he’s not letting someone else do something for you that he can
    • When you have really bad days at work, he runs a nice, hot bubble bath couple with candles and rose petals
    • He’s pretty much ur house spouse, who knew Jumin could take on such a domestic role???
  • But he’s still senpai in the sheets

*SAEYOUNG

  • Ofc he found out when he did a background search on you
  • And he’s so fascinated by you???
    • You help run a country??? You do so many good things
  • He’ll never understand though
    • How did someone as great as you fall for someone as terrible as him
  • Everything you do is so great and he’s stuck in a field of work that could get him killed
    • But with your power, you’re able to get him out of his job
    • And he’s so, so thankful to you
    • He doesn’t really let himself be vulnerable in front of you but when you told him you could help him, he cried for hours
  • What did he do to get someone as amazing you???
    • He doesn’t know it but you totally got someone to assassinate his dad
  • You actually help him get a job as an engineer <3
    • He hates using you for your connections but he knows he deserves the job, he’s not going to deny his talent and ability
    • He’s so thankful for you
  • And he becomes your right-hand man??? Anytime you need to make a difficult decision about your country, he’s there for you!!!
  • He gets a pet monkey so he can compare himself to Aladdin
    • “Listen children,,, you don’t know how hard life was for me,,, I was a beggar,,, always stealing food to survive,,,”
    • “Saeyoung, stop lying to the children and actually teach them, I wanted you to get the kids interested in computers”
    • “I was nothing but a boy with a monkey and a magic carpet,,,”
  • You two come up with a plan to get kids more interested in computers and he’s in charge <3
    • He loves teaching all the children! They’re all silly and goofy like him
  • He has no idea where he would be without you and he’s so glad he met you

*SAERAN

  • This boy has no idea, like none at all
  • Rika chose you to retrieve the phone, and he was just supposed to follow you
    • And he knows like nothing about pop culture “It’s useless information that’ll take up space in my brain” so he didn’t know who you were
  • He finds out one day when he sees an article about you helping open up a school in a third world country???
    • Like he thought you were amazing before
    • You were the one who helped him through his therapy, through all the nightmares that plagued his nights, through all the bad thoughts that overwhelmed him
    • In his head, you’d always been his queen
    • But it turns out you’re actually a princess?!?!
  • And you help so much around the world
    • He could deal with you being a princess if it weren’t for the fact that you were a huge philanthropist
    • You educated women in India about reproductive health??? You helped teach disabled children in China??? yOU DONATED 25 MILLION DOLLARS TO A HOSPITAL IN SEOUL???
  • He actually killed someone and you helped people live longer and better
  • He actually avoids you for a few weeks after he finds out
    • He’s just having a hard time coming to terms with it? You’re a goddess and he’s the devil, why are you with him?
  • But you weren’t having any of it, you literally kicked his door down, you gave him his space and now you were going to talk
    • He ends up crying in your lap
  • But you manage to talk it out with him and you make it very clear that you aren’t going anywhere
    • “I love you, okay? You don’t have to understand why I do, but you need to know that I do. I don’t care if you think I deserve better because I choose you, Saeran. I will always choose you.”
  • He eventually decides he wants to help people with you
    • Yes, he made a huge mistake in the past, one that he is so sorry for, and he will spend the rest of his life trying to make up for that
    • He’s no V, he’ll never be an angel, but he’s sure as hell gonna make the world a less crappy place
  • He comes up with so many great ideas!
    • Music programs for underprivileged children! Reading classes for uneducated adults! Programs that help teenagers get work experience!
  • He creates so many outreach programs and he’s so happy that you gave him the chance to do that
  • Started from the bottom now we’re here

*V

  • This boy is as clueless as Saeran
  • Between photography and Rika and being a dumbass, he doesn’t pay much attention to the world
  • ·      He ends up finding out through Jumin??
    • “Oh by the way MC’s father is going to be visiting my father, we’re going to talk about having MC model for one of our products”
    • “wHAT”
  • He’s honestly so happy though
    • You’re such a fantastic person who else could put up with him pining after Rika for so long and you deserve everything
    • You deserve all the praise and attention you get
  • He totally doesn’t fantasize about becoming a prince
    • And he so doesn’t go around singing Disney songs
    • “anD AT LAST I SEE THE LIGHT”
    • “what was that honey?”
    • “Thinking about the top 10 things a blind person will never say”
  • This boy is such a saint, you two implement a program to help disabled children
    • And not only does he help implement the program, but he actually participates in it???
    • Crying cause V deserves the world
  • He becomes your family’s official photographer!
    • This happens because he was lowkey salty when you hired someone else for an event
    • “Oh you need my help getting something from the high shelf??? Why don’t you ask that photographer?”
    • V pls shut up
  • But you do drag him to one of your photoshoots and after that he’s as addicted as Zen
    • You two make such a beautiful couple, how could he not be addicted???
    • He has pictures of you everywhere in his house
    • And he knows how much you love him, he can always feel it, but he absolutely adores the expression on your face when you’re looking at him and seeing it from an outside perspective makes him want to cry
  • He loves you so much, you’re his goddess <3

Animals | Animal Counters

Hey guys, I hope you’re all doing well! Today we’re gonna discuss animals in Japanese and some of the counters used for small and large animals.

  1. Animals=動物・どうぶつ
  2. Bear=熊・くま
  3. Bird=鳥・とり
  4. Cat=猫・ねこ
  5. Cow=牛・うし
  6. Deer=鹿・しか
  7. Dog=犬・いぬ
  8. Elephant=象・ぞう
  9. Fish=魚・さかな
  10. Fox=狐・きつね
  11. Giraffe=麒麟・きりん
  12. Hamster=ハムスター
  13. Horse=馬・うま
  14. Kangaroo=カンガルー
  15. Koala=コアラ
  16. Lion=ライオン
  17. Mouse=鼠・ねずみ
  18. Monkey=猿・さる
  19. Owl=フクロウ
  20. Pig=豚・ぶた
  21. Rabbit=兎・うさぎ  
  22. Snake=蛇・へび
  23. Squirrel=栗鼠・りす
  24. Tiger=虎・とら
  25. Turtle=亀・かめ
  26. Wolf=狼・おおかみ
  27. Zoo=動物園・どうぶつえん

e.g. I like dogs
       私は犬が好きです。 

       My cat is very cute.
       私の猫はとても可愛いです。 

       I wish I could have a pet monkey.
      サルを飼うことができればいいと思っています。

       Do you like animals?
       動物が好きですか?

As far as counters go, there are multiple counters for all the various animals in Japanese. I will only go into this a little bit but if anyone would like a detailed post feel free to request it in my ask box!

「ひき」 is used for counting small animals such as cats and dogs.

  1. 一匹・いっぴき
  2. 二匹・にひき
  3. 三匹・さんびき
  4. 四匹・よんひき
  5. 五匹・ごひき
  6. 六匹・ろっぴき
  7. 七匹・ななひき
  8. 八匹・はっぴき
  9. 九匹・きゅうひき
  10. 十匹・じゅっぴき

「とう」 is used for counting large animals such as horses, cows, elephants etc.

  1. 一頭・いっとう
  2. 二頭・にとう
  3. 三頭・さんとう
  4. 四島・よんとう
  5. 五頭・ごとう
  6. 六頭・ろくとう
  7. 七頭・ななとう
  8. 八頭・はっとう
  9. 九頭・きゅうとう
  10. 十頭・じゅっとう

I hope this helped you guys out, feel free to send requests in for posts you’d like to see on this blog!

Celebrating pride month! Did you know that many animals engage in homosexual or bisexual behavior? Insects as well as monkeys, who even kiss their fellows passionately, and birds. Some animals even show a same-sex preference for their whole life, even if the opposite sex is available. There is nothing unnatural about it, no matter whether you’re a monkey, a wasp or a human being. <3

When guests insist on telling you “horror stories” about the animal you’re showing them

Originally posted by bunchofbloom