I think it’s safe to say I’m his favourite for now because he’s been following me around a lot today, chilling on my bed with me and generally been poking me for cuddles. Depends on whether or not I feed him next I guess!
Still haven’t thought of a name, I’m generally calling him ‘Baby’ for now but I can’t call him that forever can I?
Let’s not beat about the bush here, I am just over 300lbs. To say that I don’t need to lose weight is being delusional; but that doesn’t mean I’m not comfortable in my body in the slightest.
I’m happy to know that I don’t need looks to be sexy. If anything it makes me feel even better about myself. Not to mention my rolls act as a filter to sieve out all the shallow assholes in the world. Really, aside from the obvious health concerns, I’m living a pretty good life.
But the one thing I hate is how other people kindly feel the need to remind me that I am indeed a fucking walrus; and I don’t mean as in little brats that just call you everything under the sun to provoke a reaction - that’s just negative attention seeking. No, I mean as in when self-proclaimed “good guys” are telling you that you “must” lose weight, and that when you do, you “will” become beautiful. “Haha”.
Uh, who the fuck are you to tell me what I should do with my body so that I can be your interpretation of beautiful?
I mean there’s being blunt and then there’s saying: “Oh, you should totally get your face reconstructed, I’d definitely sleep with you then.”
No. Fuck that. I was not put on this Earth to impress you. I don’t even know why I’m talking to you, you have the personality traits of a plank.
Oh, now you realise I’m mad and so you try to change your story, telling me that I already am beautiful and that you prefer “the fat ones”.
You like the fat ones but you want me to lose weight.
Yeah, OK, I’ll lose weight, which is what I’ve been doing in the first place.
Basically, thanks to a nice phone call with Miss Unintelligible-Accent, apparently I requested to cancel a pretty damn important application. Not once did I utter anything of the sort, so I have no idea where this recent development has sprung from.
While the conversation in itself was obviously painful (it’s like an unwritten law that the more important the subject matter is, the stronger the other person’s accent will be) I’m more pissed that out of nowhere, words have been put into my mouth and thus the resulting fuck-up is supposedly now my fault because I had no idea what this bitch was even talking about.
In short, being an adult is hard and it sucks massive stinky donkey balls.
I don’t know why it bugs me, but I don’t quite understand Facebook’s choices in putting “likes” in the past tense when it comes to interests that have a page for them.
Take for example my recent interest here:
I mean, it’s a really pedantic thing to be bugged about, I know that, but putting likes in the past tense?
It almost sounds like you’re saying “Mmyes, about five minutes ago I was quite taken by the literary genius of one Mr Green, but alas I am extremely fickle and have decided that he is no longer the witty man I once had an intellectual fondness of… Now if you don’t mind me I simply must play some Farmville.”
Yet somehow when it comes to status updates the like is in the present tense? Surely it should be the other way around. A status update is just a fleeting moment of someone’s musings on life, but an interest is something that you might continue to ‘like’ for quite a while.
I dunno, I just basically thought this was kind of strange.
And yes, I had to share this on Tumblr, mainly because I suspect my friends on Facebook think I only like John Green for his looks. Also they’re too busy playing Farmville.