yanno, i was thinking last night when i literally could not fall asleep because how late i slept in yesterday morning and i realized that even looking at my blog i can tell how much better i’m getting.

before my blog was filled with unrealistically thin girls and personal posts about my self-hatred. and those bodies were what i saw as my goal. i weighed 125 pounds and still thought that i was fat even though now looking back on photos, i looked like you could snap my body in half. now my goal is just healthy and toned, not hip bones sticking out, not ridiculously thin legs. and i love my body now and i will love my body when i’m more fit, but i don’t see myself getting obsessed with it again like i was. i’m fine with the process being slow, i don’t care about the weight on the scale. and i love the hell out of food, so never will i ever skip a meal again in hopes that i will be thinner. 

i am getting better and i am so happy.

so i went to the gym in the first time in quite some time. and i switched gym and i like my new one so much more.

before at the gym i felt inadequate and unattractive, at this gym, it doesn’t feel like that. everyone is doing their own thing and everyone who did talk to me was super duper nice. and unlike the other gym i went to, the staff didn’t seem like pretentious assholes. god bless for finding a nice, clean, efficient, and comfortable gym.