Have you ever feel like that? Like you’re just a piece of shit lying around being useless? Because thats exactly what i feel right now. I feel worthless, useless and a waste of space. Im not sad but im not happy either. Its like, i feel everything and feel nothing all at the same time. I think im thisclose to depression. Sometimes i just wanna fall into really really deep slumber with no dreams and wake up after 2000 years or never wake up at all. And please dont get me wrong. Im not suicidal or something. I just want to dissapear into nothingness. I just wanna die. But i dont want my family to suffer until my last breathe because theyd probably freak out about the expences on my funeral and i dont want that. I want to run away where i dont have to be a burden for anyone anymore. But i dont want to run away either because im sure as hell that theyd look for me. I dont want them to bother looking for me. I want them to just move on and forget that i was once the youngest sibling, that i was once part of something, of this family. And now im just nothing. I know that if i ever disapeared, no one’s going to text something nice to my phone number though they know that i wont be able to read it or write how much they had missed me on my facebook wall because i have literally no friends at all.