personal-and-the-pizzas

Haikyuu Senior Quotes
  • Daichi Sawamura: Highschool is hard when you have to take care of seven children.
  • Sugawara Koushi: I wouldn't be here without google
  • Asahi Azumane: Actually, all my systems are nervous.
  • Nishinoya Yuu: I may be short, but you're still below me
  • Tanaka Ryunosuke: The roof is not my son, but I will raise it
  • Hinata Shoyo: I understood nothing.
  • Kageyama Tobio: Goats are like mushrooms, if you shoot a duck, I'm scared of toasters.
  • Tsukishima Kei: It's pronounced 'kay' not 'key'.
  • Yamaguchi Tadashi: Yes, Tadashi, like the Disney movie.
  • Oikawa Tooru: They say nobody's perfect, but here I am.
  • Iwaizumi Hajime: I stopped trying in the 6th grade.
  • Kuroo Tetsuro: The entire cat population is my friend.
  • Kenma Kozume: Highschool is like riding a bike, except the bike is on fire and the ground is on fire. Everything is on fire because it was hell.
  • Bokuto Koutarou: Every pizza is a personal pizza if you try hard enough.
  • Akaashi Keiji: I paid more attention to my boyfriend's ass than chemistry.
damn the delivery boy.

Pairing: Jeon Jeongguk / Reader.

Genre: Expecting Parents AU / Fluff and Non-explicit smut.

Summary: Jeon Jeongguk is a computer science major working as a pizza delivery boy, and you are an uninspired published author who has just started an art degree. When you realise that the delivery boy is your old high school crush, he keeps coming back, but with more to offer than just puff pastry and vegetarian supreme. Though little did he know that he would end up giving you something much more that flips both of your worlds completely upside down in the form of two blue lines and nine months.

Count: 9,656 words.


month one.

Two lines.

The second is a little faint, but it is there, undeniably there, growing stronger by the second as your heart sinks deeper into the pit of your stomach and suddenly you are keeling over the sink, throwing up a combination of panic and regret. You wipe your mouth, sit back on the closed lid of the toilet, shut your eyes and take a deep breath, holding it until your lungs burn and your lashes fly back apart to look at the test still shaking between your fingertips.

There, right before your eyes, two fucking blue lines protruding like two middle fingers, poking up at you and saying – Congratulations sucker, you are pregnant!

Twenty-three years old and pregnant.

You throw up again.

This has got to be the biggest mistake of your life.

Keep reading

There’s this dude on Twitter who asked Wendy’s how many retweets for a lifetime supply of chicken nuggets, and they were like 18 million, and there are people actually helping him, talking about “Help this man get his nuggets”, which is interesting.

I can’t help but to think if a fat person did that, they’d be attacked and sent lectures of false health concern about fast food being the reason they’re fat, so they don’t need it.

Matter of fact, most of the people celebrating fast food that I come across are thin people. And for one I don’t do the “ Lets condemn fast food” thing. If people want a burger and fries for whatever reason, let them enjoy it.

But it’s interesting to me how people’s view of food and who consumes what is also fat phobic. It’s the outdated unscientific belief that small automatically= good, and big automatically= bad. So in fatphobic’s minds they’re thinking “Oh he or she isn’t big or that big, so they can’t possibly eat like that every day” opposed to when they see a bigger person and immediately assume that since they’re big, they must eat that all the time.

A thin or smaller person person talking about eating a whole pizza is cute, a fat person talking about enjoying a vanilla cone is met with condemnation and fat shaming, with and abundance of concern trolling.

What’s Yours is Mine

Summary: Sam and Dean enjoy sharing each other’s clothes.

Warning: Smut, blow jobs, anal sex

Word Count: 3150

A/N: I enjoyed writing this request so much! Hope you all like it, too! XOXO


Sam’s been wearing Dean’s hand-me-down clothes since he was born. In every one of Dean’s childhood memories, he can see Sam wearing his old clothes, sleeves too long, waistbands too loose, stray threads sticking out at the seams.

But when Sam hits puberty, they start fitting almost perfectly. Sam’s a little skinnier than Dean, but it never really shows in the clothing. Proper fit didn’t stop Sam from hating them, though.

Keep reading

Special Instructions (5/?)

Summary: Drunk Emma really likes pizza. She also really happens to like the cute delivery guy who seems content to carry out all of her wishes via the “Special Instructions” box on the website. (AO3)
Rating: E
Word Count: ~3200
Chapters: One Two Three Four

I love y’all and hope this little tidbit of humor and sexual tension cheers you up if you’re feeling down ~ ❤️🍕 

reader requested tags: @ilovemesomekillianjones @lenfaz @like-waves-on-the-beach @emmaswanchoosesyou @blessed-but-distressed @tiganasummertree

.

Special instructions: tell me jokes, joke man

Things were going great with Killian despite the fact that they communicated almost solely through text message. She’d spent nearly the entire first week of November out of state chasing a particularly sneaky skip and she was pretty sure the number of texts between them had fallen into the thousands by now.

They talked a little about their lives, just little tidbits about their likes and dislikes and the gossip from their respective friend groups. Emma liked crime shows; the less scientifically accurate, the better. Killian was into sitcoms. They both enjoyed reading but where Emma loved horror and suspense, mainly every book Stephen King had ever written, Killian was actually into sensual romance novels. (He’d only been slightly embarrassed to admit it.)

David and Mary Margaret were trying to get pregnant, and Belle and Killian’s older brother Liam were pregnant; they’d practically just found out that she was 10 weeks along and Killian was psyched at the prospect of becoming an uncle. Ruby was getting over her recent heartbreak by beginning an interesting three-way relationship with a martial artist and a dog groomer, both women, both ridiculously head over heels for her. Killian’s buddy Will was inheriting a bar from his recently deceased boss. Regina and Robin were planning the most extravagant wedding ever, and by that she meant that Regina was planning the most extravagant wedding ever and Robin was passively agreeing with all her decisions. And Killian’s best friend Ariel’s Etsy shop was booming; apparently handmade mermaid tails and shell bras were in surprisingly high demand.

They learned quite a bit about each other. Their friendship was blooming…

But mostly they flirted.

Keep reading

SugarDaddy!Cal Pt.2

Okay for starters…I made Y/BF/N Jamie because I’m typing this on my phone and typing Y/BF/N is annoying lmaoo sorry. And the anon who originally requested this has asked me to focus this mainly on black girls/POC, so I’m extra hyped.

Also I honestly think I might make this a series? The beautiful and most talented Gabby (@lukeysgirlkinda inspired me to, but I didn’t have a prompt. Might also steal her idea of a new chapter every 100 notes…what do you guys think?


Parts: One/ Two/ Three/Four/Five/Six/Seven/Eight/
Nine/Ten/Eleven/Twelve/Thirteen/Fourteen/Fifteen


You checked over your outfit once more in the full body mirror before walking carefully down the stairs. You’ve had more than one encounter attempting to run down the stairs before someone reached your house and it always ended badly.

“You look so pretty!” Jamie grinned as she turned around on the couch to see you.

“All I did was my hair and makeup, Jamie. I have on shorts and a shirt.”

“Can’t ever take a compliment.” She rolled her eyes playfully.“ What time is Calum coming?”

You checked the time on your phone before answering,“Any minute now.”

“You’re excited, aren’t you? I mean there’s a hot, young Australian who wants to be your sugar daddy. How much better can life get?”

“I don’t know. I’m not a sexual person, Jamie, how am I just going to be there at his every beckoning call?”

“You’ll do it, trust me.” She laughed, her smile widening when she heard someone knock on the door.

Keep reading

Tales from a Summer at an Amusement Park Food Line

- While attempting to close on my very first shift, I accidentally dropped an entire container of Italian dressing on the floor. Most of it went into my socks. It made for a very unpleasant ride home.

- The line I worked in served personal pan pizzas, club wraps, carved turkey sandwiches, salads (side salads as well as Mediterranean salads), very large pickles, and a variety of desserts made in store. We were allowed to alter recipes as people requested, within reason. One person requested a pizza without sauce. I respected her decision. A surprising number of people requested pizzas without cheese. I questioned theirs, especially since they got pepperoni.

- We offered a gluten-free pizza that took twenty minutes to cook (ordinary pizzas took five). There was one man I came to recognize who showed up at least every other week to order a gluten-free pizza. I very much hope that he had a season’s pass, or he was spending upwards of $70 a week for the privilege of waiting on a pizza.

- A child came in with his parents one day and they began asking about the ingredients in all our food. As my coworker began to answer, I stopped him and asked if this were an allergy question; when told yes, I asked them to wait and went to hunt down a manager, as company policy stated that only managers or higher could answer questions regarding allergies. My coworkers did not understand why I was wasting people’s time like this. I attempted to explain to them that I had no desire to kill a seven-year-old because I thought I knew better than the allergen manual. They continued to ridicule me. The mother made a point of thanking me in front of my supervisor when she arrived for apparently being the only person who was concerned about the well-being of her child, who was evidently allergic to everything.

- This was far from the only argument I had with my coworkers about allergen safety. I fear for the customers.

- A man came into my line one afternoon, looked at me, looked at the salads, looked at me, looked at the salads again, looked at me, pointed directly at the salads, and said, “You sell salads?” I expended every ounce of willpower I had left not to respond, “No, sir, those are small ornamental shrubbery.”

- Victoria Justice came to give a concert at our park one afternoon. I have never heard any of her music, but between the fact that she was apparently an elitist bully to the ride attendants (and other guests) when she was enjoying her day at the park and the fact that the park was sold out that day with mostly girls under the age of twelve, all of whom wanted pizza for lunch, I have decided that I hate her.

- A couple came through my line. We recognized each other. They were parishioners at the church I had worked for prior to the amusement park. I left the church because I was fired in a very underhanded and unprofessional manner. I cheerfully told them to say hello to everybody for me. They left very quickly.

- Part of our job was to engage any guests waiting in line in conversation, especially the children. I was exceptionally good at this part of my job. My coworkers were either in awe or jealous.

- The number of people who did not understand that I did not have their special orders ready before they thought to order them was mind-boggling.

- A toddler came into my line and began chattering with me. This would not have been unusual, except that his parents were nowhere in sight, nor was any other adult, as they were all in the other room watching the show. I leaned as far over the counter as I could to keep the little guy talking and in sight until an adult came to take responsibility for him. To this day, I sincerely hope that the adult who came for him was actually his mother.

- While attempting to close down our second line, I used one of the four doors to the small refrigerator cases to support myself as I pushed myself from a squatting position to a standing one. I ripped the door off its top hinge.

- My coworker made a joke one night about something she would like to do. I explained how it would be possible. Her eyes filled with fear. I had to explain that I am a writer and had done research for a mystery novel and that I have not, in fact, ever cut someone’s feet off at the ankles with a cake knife.

- I became somewhat well-known among my coworkers for knowing all the words to the songs in the shows that went on in the dining area while we were cooking/serving. Strangely enough, my coworkers were less confused as to how I, a 23-year-old, knew ‘80s pop songs than they were as to how I, a 23-year-old, knew German drinking songs.

- Three days before the end of the summer, having been friends with one particular colleague for nearly five months, I had to pull out my ID to prove to her that I was in my twenties and not, in fact, nineteen.

Five dragons

1. A small black dragon which has made its home in an oven. It has disconnected the element, using the electricity supply instead to charge its phone. When it sees something being put into the oven, it breathes what it believes to be a sufficient amount of fire over it, then takes a small portion to eat. It spent a long time finding a person who was careless enough about pizza for this plan to work.

2. Large, sleepy grey dragon, frequently mistaken for a hill. Bad habit of falling asleep near cities, getting classified as a prime brownfield site with excellent redevelopment potential, and waking up covered in housing estate. It is a compassionate sort of beast and usually sends a letter round the houses informing everyone when it is going to be travelling and where to before it takes off.

3. A bright green dragon which is afraid of the dark. In recent years it has invested in a metal suit and some bolt-on engine cases, allowing it to pretend to be an aircraft so that it can travel by day. There have been a few misunderstandings at major airports, particularly when its tail number goes unrecognised. It may or may not have eaten six pilots, a catering truck and a Russian spyplane. If you meet it, never mention the fuelling incident.

4. A dragon that scoops up water from the Thames into its supernumerary pouch each morning. Throughout the day it uses its body heat to convert the water to steam, allowing it to wander around above London all day disguised as a small cloud. It is on the lookout for Shakespeare, although it would settle for Marlowe. It has a really great idea for a sequel to The Tempest. None of the booksellers and thespians it has approached have quite had the heart to tell it that humans do not come out of hibernation.

5. A long, gold-and-bronze dragon that is engaged in digging the secret tunnels of the Beijing metro. It has been quite some work to make sure that the secret tunnels interact only minimally with the public ones. But otherwise how would dragons travel under the city unnoticed? The dragon metro only runs at midnight, but when it does then all the clocks of the forbidden city set to chiming and one can see red lights glinting through drain covers. The stations are disguised as tower blocks. Sometimes they fill up with dragons who are waiting for the smog to fall before they fly, and then the windows glow with colours that one can never quite afterwards remember.