personal-and-the-pizzas

Nice things Italians say

(or, a random list of italian expressions that i felt like sharing with the world)

Se son rose fioriranno.” (literally, “If it’s roses, they will bloom.”) It’s usually used to calm down someone (or even oneself) who’s anxious about a certain situation (for instance going on a date), and it means that if something is bound to happen, it will, and hence that there’s no use being nervous.

Non s'ha da fare.” It means “it’s not to be done”/“it’s not to happen”. Although this construct is strictly typical of the Florentine dialect, this fixed expression has become widely used in the Italian language after one of the most famous scenes in Alessandro Manzoni’s I Promessi Sposi (The Betrothed), in the line “Questo matrimonio non s'ha da fare, né domani, né mai.” (“This wedding is not to be celebrated, not tomorrow, nor ever.”)

Hai scoperto l'acqua calda.” (literally “You have discovered hot water.”) Used to ironise about someone’s obvious remark by calling it a revolutionary discovery.

Morto un papa, se ne fa un altro.” (literally, “Once a pope dies, another one is elected.”) It’s usually used after the end of a relationship and it means that once you lose a lover, you just find another one. It can also be used in other situations with an equivalent meaning.

Una volta ogni morte di papa.” It literally means “Once every pope’s death” and it’s used as an informal synonym for “very rarely”. (e.g. “Mi ammalo una volta ogni morte di papa.” -> “I get sick very rarely.”)

La mamma è sempre la mamma.” It means “Mum will always be mum.” and it’s just an expression to state how your mum will always be there for you and will always be your home.

Che pizza!” It literally translates “What a pizza!” but it has the same meaning as the English “Nuts!” (e.g. “Piove.” “Che pizza!” -> “It’s raining.” “Nuts!”). In the same way, the word “pizza” can be used as an adjective to describe an annoyingly boring person (e.g. “Sei una pizza, non vuoi mai fare nulla.” -> “You’re so boring, you never want to do anything”).

Haikyuu Senior Quotes
  • Daichi Sawamura: Highschool is hard when you have to take care of seven children.
  • Sugawara Koushi: I wouldn't be here without google
  • Asahi Azumane: Actually, all my systems are nervous.
  • Nishinoya Yuu: I may be short, but you're still below me
  • Tanaka Ryunosuke: The roof is not my son, but I will raise it
  • Hinata Shoyo: I understood nothing.
  • Kageyama Tobio: Goats are like mushrooms, if you shoot a duck, I'm scared of toasters.
  • Tsukishima Kei: It's pronounced 'kay' not 'key'.
  • Yamaguchi Tadashi: Yes, Tadashi, like the Disney movie.
  • Oikawa Tooru: They say nobody's perfect, but here I am.
  • Iwaizumi Hajime: I stopped trying in the 6th grade.
  • Kuroo Tetsuro: The entire cat population is my friend.
  • Kenma Kozume: Highschool is like riding a bike, except the bike is on fire and the ground is on fire. Everything is on fire because it was hell.
  • Bokuto Koutarou: Every pizza is a personal pizza if you try hard enough.
  • Akaashi Keiji: I paid more attention to my boyfriend's ass than chemistry.

So far, in the two years I’ve worked at the library I have:

•accidentally scared the heck out of multiple people with my apparently unusual silence while moving

•said alarming things in unguarded moments like “any pizza is a personal pizza if you believe in yourself”

•occasionally come up to the front desk to report alarming and/or weird things discovered in the stacks (like a rock hard sandwich so old it was literally green) in a completely deadpan voice

•brought my twin to visit right at the end of my shift and thoroughly confused all my coworkers and bosses
□it’s been almost a week, they’re still talking about it
□apparently it was very disorienting for everyone
□I have been asked if I’m really me three times so far, “just in case”, which is funny because we’re definitely not identical
□today one coworker squinted at me suspiciously and asked quietly, “Are you real?”
I honestly didn’t know how to answer that.

•I brought my lunch to work today and I was informed that this is the first time they’ve actually seen me eat?
○they’ve seen me get my sunflower seeds or trail mix plenty of times? Except that apparently doesn’t count?
□this has alarming implications including but not limited to I just realized I forgot to eat dinner again and I gotta go fix that real quick

In summary:
In your opinion, how at risk am I for becoming a Library Cryptid?

damn the delivery boy.

Pairing: Jeon Jeongguk / Reader.

Genre: Expecting Parents AU / Fluff and Non-explicit smut.

Summary: Jeon Jeongguk is a computer science major working as a pizza delivery boy, and you are an uninspired published author who has just started an art degree. When you realise that the delivery boy is your old high school crush, he keeps coming back, but with more to offer than just puff pastry and vegetarian supreme. Though little did he know that he would end up giving you something much more that flips both of your worlds completely upside down in the form of two blue lines and nine months.

Count: 9,656 words.


month one.

Two lines.

The second is a little faint, but it is there, undeniably there, growing stronger by the second as your heart sinks deeper into the pit of your stomach and suddenly you are keeling over the sink, throwing up a combination of panic and regret. You wipe your mouth, sit back on the closed lid of the toilet, shut your eyes and take a deep breath, holding it until your lungs burn and your lashes fly back apart to look at the test still shaking between your fingertips.

There, right before your eyes, two fucking blue lines protruding like two middle fingers, poking up at you and saying – Congratulations sucker, you are pregnant!

Twenty-three years old and pregnant.

You throw up again.

This has got to be the biggest mistake of your life.

Keep reading

Five dragons

1. A small black dragon which has made its home in an oven. It has disconnected the element, using the electricity supply instead to charge its phone. When it sees something being put into the oven, it breathes what it believes to be a sufficient amount of fire over it, then takes a small portion to eat. It spent a long time finding a person who was careless enough about pizza for this plan to work.

2. Large, sleepy grey dragon, frequently mistaken for a hill. Bad habit of falling asleep near cities, getting classified as a prime brownfield site with excellent redevelopment potential, and waking up covered in housing estate. It is a compassionate sort of beast and usually sends a letter round the houses informing everyone when it is going to be travelling and where to before it takes off.

3. A bright green dragon which is afraid of the dark. In recent years it has invested in a metal suit and some bolt-on engine cases, allowing it to pretend to be an aircraft so that it can travel by day. There have been a few misunderstandings at major airports, particularly when its tail number goes unrecognised. It may or may not have eaten six pilots, a catering truck and a Russian spyplane. If you meet it, never mention the fuelling incident.

4. A dragon that scoops up water from the Thames into its supernumerary pouch each morning. Throughout the day it uses its body heat to convert the water to steam, allowing it to wander around above London all day disguised as a small cloud. It is on the lookout for Shakespeare, although it would settle for Marlowe. It has a really great idea for a sequel to The Tempest. None of the booksellers and thespians it has approached have quite had the heart to tell it that humans do not come out of hibernation.

5. A long, gold-and-bronze dragon that is engaged in digging the secret tunnels of the Beijing metro. It has been quite some work to make sure that the secret tunnels interact only minimally with the public ones. But otherwise how would dragons travel under the city unnoticed? The dragon metro only runs at midnight, but when it does then all the clocks of the forbidden city set to chiming and one can see red lights glinting through drain covers. The stations are disguised as tower blocks. Sometimes they fill up with dragons who are waiting for the smog to fall before they fly, and then the windows glow with colours that one can never quite afterwards remember.

There’s this dude on Twitter who asked Wendy’s how many retweets for a lifetime supply of chicken nuggets, and they were like 18 million, and there are people actually helping him, talking about “Help this man get his nuggets”, which is interesting.

I can’t help but to think if a fat person did that, they’d be attacked and sent lectures of false health concern about fast food being the reason they’re fat, so they don’t need it.

Matter of fact, most of the people celebrating fast food that I come across are thin people. And for one I don’t do the “ Lets condemn fast food” thing. If people want a burger and fries for whatever reason, let them enjoy it.

But it’s interesting to me how people’s view of food and who consumes what is also fat phobic. It’s the outdated unscientific belief that small automatically= good, and big automatically= bad. So in fatphobic’s minds they’re thinking “Oh he or she isn’t big or that big, so they can’t possibly eat like that every day” opposed to when they see a bigger person and immediately assume that since they’re big, they must eat that all the time.

A thin or smaller person person talking about eating a whole pizza is cute, a fat person talking about enjoying a vanilla cone is met with condemnation and fat shaming, with and abundance of concern trolling.

SugarDaddy!Cal Pt.2

Okay for starters…I made Y/BF/N Jamie because I’m typing this on my phone and typing Y/BF/N is annoying lmaoo sorry. And the anon who originally requested this has asked me to focus this mainly on black girls/POC, so I’m extra hyped.

Also I honestly think I might make this a series? The beautiful and most talented Gabby (@lukeysgirlkinda inspired me to, but I didn’t have a prompt. Might also steal her idea of a new chapter every 100 notes…what do you guys think?


One/ TwoThree/ Four/Five/Six/Seven/Eight/
Nine/Ten/Eleven/Twelve/Thirteen/Fourteen/Fifteen
SixteenSeventeen/ EighteenNineteen/Twenty{END}

You checked over your outfit once more in the full body mirror before walking carefully down the stairs. You’ve had more than one encounter attempting to run down the stairs before someone reached your house and it always ended badly.

“You look so pretty!” Jamie grinned as she turned around on the couch to see you.

“All I did was my hair and makeup, Jamie. I have on shorts and a shirt.”

“Can’t ever take a compliment.” She rolled her eyes playfully.“ What time is Calum coming?”

You checked the time on your phone before answering,“Any minute now.”

“You’re excited, aren’t you? I mean there’s a hot, young Australian who wants to be your sugar daddy. How much better can life get?”

“I don’t know. I’m not a sexual person, Jamie, how am I just going to be there at his every beckoning call?”

“You’ll do it, trust me.” She laughed, her smile widening when she heard someone knock on the door.

Keep reading

What’s Yours is Mine

Summary: Sam and Dean enjoy sharing each other’s clothes.

Warning: Smut, blow jobs, anal sex

Word Count: 3150

A/N: I enjoyed writing this request so much! Hope you all like it, too! XOXO


Sam’s been wearing Dean’s hand-me-down clothes since he was born. In every one of Dean’s childhood memories, he can see Sam wearing his old clothes, sleeves too long, waistbands too loose, stray threads sticking out at the seams.

But when Sam hits puberty, they start fitting almost perfectly. Sam’s a little skinnier than Dean, but it never really shows in the clothing. Proper fit didn’t stop Sam from hating them, though.

Keep reading

crimson-chains  asked:

SO, IN THE LATEST CHAP OF SEX COACH, WHERE DID THEY GET THE PIZZA FROM, HUH?

FROM CHIHOKO’S PIZZERIA, WHERE ELSE, CC?!

~~

The deliveryman stepped back inside the pizza shop and stood there, blank, perhaps trembling. What was happening? Was he trapped inside his own personal hell? Pizza delivery hell…

“Hey, you okay man?” His boss called over, casting a concerned look across the pizzeria.

Slowly, hesitantly, sluggishly, the deliveryman shook his head. “T-the…. the mafia boss…. is a pornstar…. And I think he was flirting with me.”

His boss gave a deep sigh and slapped pizza dough onto the counter. “Look, I told you, you’re not getting that holiday! What do you think this is, a multi-verse?! Get back to work! That cop ordered another Hawaiian, extra pineapple, get on it!”