personal-and-original-posts

post graduation reflections

So once again, the start of a new school year is right around the corner. My college graduation feels so long ago even though it was just in May.. This will be the first time in 16 years that I will not be attending classes, meeting up with friends, cramming for finals, and basically being a student. I still cannot get that through my head. Of course, I do plan on going back for grad school sometime soon, but it’s still so weird/sad/nostalgic to me that I won’t be going back this September. 

As the new school year approaches, I’m sure there are many of you who are nervous to start college, eager to get back with friends, or a number of other emotions. It’s true, your school years will fly by, so make the best of it! 

There are just a few things that I have learned and wanted to say that goes beyond studying:

Do not focus on studying 24/7: Your mind and body both need a break sometimes, so make sure you are setting aside time for yourself, your friends, and extracurriculars. These are the things that will keep you sane while you pursue your goals. Experience everything because once you’re out of college, shit starts getting real and you don’t have time to experience as much. This is the best environment for you now and the most freedom you will have.

Make friends & expand your network: This is especially true if you are just starting college. Everyone is new so get out of your comfort zone and reach out to people! Start making friends as soon as you can whether in your classes, dorms, or extracurricular activities. Join frats/sororities if that’s your thing! These are the people who will surround you in your four (or more) years of college and help you through them. Not to mention, they will be your real world connections, especially to finding jobs, internships, and so much more.

Get out of your comfort zone: Do things you have always wanted to do but were too afraid. Every college has a plethora of clubs and activities; just sign up for any or all of them! Apply for that job even if you think you aren’t good enough, approach that cute boy/girl, don’t be afraid to eat by yourself either. Take as many risks as you are comfortable with. This is the most prime time to be taking risks because what do you have to lose? 

Constantly improve/stay in beta: Don’t stay stagnant in your progress, make sure you are always moving forward towards your goals. Don’t compare yourself to anyone else, just be better than who you were yesterday. Practice agile learning. Be innovative and creative. Don’t linger too long on regret, just keep moving forward.

Mindset, mindset, mindset: I think the biggest thing that hurts or helps people is their mindset. This is what you make of your situation and how you react to the things around you. If you have a poor mindset, you will always think the world is against you. If you strive to have a growth mindset, you will always be improving yourself and appreciating your situation as part of your learning and growth. 

Pay/share it forward: Karma exists and will come back tenfold. Help out as many people as you can, tutor people, help people prepare for job interviews, share your strengths and people will thank you in many ways. The thing that people will remember the most is how you make them feel. So make them feel damn good. However, do not sacrifice your happiness/health for someone. 

CRUSH IT: Lastly, whatever you do, whatever opportunities come your way, make sure to hit them all out of the park. Give 110% to everything and you will be great. This was my motto during the end my senior year (learned it a little too late) but I managed to bounce back from failing a class to passing it instead (thank god)! It will do you wonders if you can keep this in your mindset. 

In the end, these are just the things that I have personally observed, experienced, learned, and regretted not doing in my four years of college. They may not apply to you, but I hope they will at least give you some perspective. I wish you all the best starting the new school year. I wish I was back in your shoes, I’m really jealous of you guys. Time really does fly and pretty soon, you will be in the real world. The real world is vastly different from the bubble of college. I don’t even know what I’m doing but I’m always going to be improving and striving to crush it.

You CAN do it and you WILL crush it. Good luck!! xo

Can we pls appreciate for a second that one of the main characters in scream canonically likes girls??? And the main relationship is a strong friendship between two girls??? That could potentially turn in to a romance??? I love Audrey with all my heart and I’m so glad we get some representation in a mainstream TV show that isn’t fetishised and taken seriously as a main plot

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jackson + looking blissful 😌

maybe don’t celebrate being put on a block list?? like most of the ones I’ve seen are along the lines of ‘here are some really toxic people you should block if you’re concerned for your mental health’ and y'all’s first reaction is ‘fuck yeah I’m considered a threat to people’s mental stability damn I really made it big time’. like holy shit I couldn’t make this up if I tried. it’s just that awful.

If you’ve ever wondered how much of a larrie I truly am, wonder no more. I wrote a song about them. This was written last year and I released an a cappella version but this time I added my uke for a more complete sound. So yeah, I’d looove for you guys to listen and let me know what you think! This is my first (decent) original song so I’m always looking for feedback on it as well as tips on how to make my songs better in the future. Enjoy!

youtube

Anonymous said:

Please put that Mario and Sonic personality swap thing on YouTube.

Here you go.  Original audio post here

Original art by robbonp and dat-soldier 

Original prompt by darinharrfath

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My hens and chicks/cats and kittens from this post is finally all gown up. The mother plant has started to put out a few chicks! This is an older picture, so the chicks have grown quite a bit. I took some babies off and put them in their own pot, so hopefully they’ll grow. I’d like to put all the hens and chicks in a bigger pot because they’re getting a little big.

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Contains SPOILERS for Season 3 of Raphael Bob-Waksberg’s BoJack Horseman (which I highly recommend, probably the best original show Netflix has besides Aziz Ansari’s and Alan Yang’s Master of None).

“I think I might be nothing.” 

Todd Chavez’s (voiced by Aaron Paul) words at the conclusion of BoJack’s junior season hit me hard. I identified with them more than I’d ever admitted to even myself. Or my friends and family. 

Since sometimes I think I feel like I’m nothing. Maybe I am nothing. In terms of sexuality, I mean. 

How a kiss does nothing for me. It never has. How the idea of kissing sounds horrible to me. How intimate contact isn’t wanted and when it rarely happens it is solely awkward for those involved. How romantic relationships simply don’t matter to me: strong friendships or strong familial ones do though. Todd’s hesitation when Emily asked if he liked anyone. Todd admitting to Emily inside a closet as Seven Minutes in Heaven is active that he’s never kissed before. More like Seven Minutes in Hell if I’d been in Todd’s place. 

Hey Todd, I didn’t either, until 2007 either (the irony). During my second and final relationship. Said kissing was my first and last time. 

After that, I had convinced (deceived) myself throughout the years that I had a crush on two other people. Ultimately, it wasn’t reciprocated and I felt like an idiot. Correction, a pathetic idiot. I’m pretty hard on myself: I don’t recommend it. I was someone that was unable to be normal. Or fit in with the crowd. 

That genuinely hurt more than being rejected. I felt completely terrible for doing that to them. I wonder if they’d forgive me if they knew? …Or something like that. Little do I know then that through my surrendering and abandonment of dating following them, I was one step closer to the real me. 

Since then, I’ve been content (there’s not much in my life I’m content about, so, that says something) about being single even though others have tried to set me up or whatever. My disinterest of dating is perceived through the lens of my previous relationships not working out instead of the fact I’m merely not interested. That is all is it y’all, sheesh. Which is quite exasperating after awhile… I don’t believe the intention was misguided or mean-spirited: they didn’t know like I didn’t. 

My own reluctance to answering similar queries or being unable to wrap my head around such a concept. How he didn’t invite her into his room by making up ridiculous excuses. How dates I was on usually ended up at their house (which culminated in more conversations, nada further due to not deciphering hints or having any interest at all: perhaps an embrace goodnight, at the most). 

How I’ve completely misunderstood potential desiring of a deeper more than friend connections from others because I have zero interest in it the first place. How it might be perceived as blowing someone off or flat-out indifferent rejection, when that’s nowhere close to the truth. In other cases, I’ve been called a “heart-breaker” even though I didn’t intentionally mean to be. In one instance, I dealt with accusations that I was the reason a romantic relationship between friends hadn’t worked. That it was my fault, somehow. Even when I tried to defend myself I wasn’t believed and thus connections I’d gained had to be torn asunder for awhile. I happened to be invited to the wrong place at the wrong time: that’s ultimately what was done. 

How I felt extreme insecurity by not abiding to established normalcy. My lack of understanding that my choice I made was indeed fine and I didn’t need to feel ashamed or angry at myself. That thoughts of “What is wrong with me?!” and “Maybe I am a deviant…?” were unnecessary. How anything resembling arousal had to be forced and worked for: it wasn’t natural in the slightest. It shouldn’t of hurt. I shouldn’t of hurt myself to obtain what is considered healthy. 

Like I’m totally blase to the mere thought of sex/relationships you know? Essentially, it never crosses my mind. My complete always disinterest in magazines with nudity in them, porn, intercourse, or strip clubs back in middle school (than later high school and forward) lead to me being cruelly ridiculed throughout my life. Labeled as gay using derogatory language. Labeled as not a man. Etc. Was it pure mockery or attempting to comprehend in their own manner? I wonder from time to time. 

So, that makes me genderfluid, aromantic, and asexual it would seem. Throughout my nearly 30 year existence, I’ve let peer pressure, societal expectations, yearning for further acceptance, and fearing I’ll disappoint everyone, dictate who I am instead of being myself! The true me. The one I’ve never been.

NO MORE! I’m done with that! Never again. 

Being genderfluid, aromantic, and asexual, doesn’t solely define me, but, I’m glad I’m not alone and I know. No one should have to be alone or clueless, ever. Thank you show creator Raphael Bob-Waksberg for penning the episode (”That Went Well”) this comes from and for accurately capturing a feeling I’ve had underneath the surface all of these years. Even if it wasn’t quite sure what it was at the time. Simply recognizing it seriously helps! 

I wish I knew you in real life should I could shake your hand as I tears would likely be running down my cheeks. Maybe, I’d try to hug you, yet ultimately decide against it. That’s how I roll after all, heh. Someday, I’d sincerely like to encounter Raphael Bob-Waksberg. I desire for this to occur (likely won’t). His series has assisted with my depression and now this. 

“That’s too much, man!” :’) 

Looking very forward to Season 4!