personal writing

You know, I don’t believe in epic love stories.

Because you don’t fall in love on a battle field, when there’s death and gore and no promise of tomorrow. You don’t fall in love during a revolution, when all your mind can focus on is change. You don’t fall in love during the rise of a new world order, when you’re broken and tired and hoping the days to come will be better than the ones you’re leaving behind, and worth all the sacrifices they demanded. 

You can realize you’re in love in these moments, without a doubt. The fear as they fall because you love them them too much to let them die. The pride as they stand beside you, fighting for what you know, in your heart, is right. That quiet moment when you look a them, just as broken and scared as you are, and you know that it was all worth it, because it’ll make a better world for them. In those moments you can realize you’ve fallen in love, but that’s not where love begins. 

Because love begins in the little moments. A joke while traveling to lighten the mood and make your feet a bit less weary. A listening ear when your concerns about the battle standing before you become too much, and perhaps a kind word to help soothe those fears for the night. A warm shoulder to rest your head on during those cold nights, when even the fire before you does nothing to drive back the chill. A single look that brings laughter to your lips because you know, without a doubt, exactly what they mean, and a smile that follows from them because you got it. 

It starts when you choose to place yourself at their side, when their voice becomes more soothing of a balm than any healer’s salve, when their absence is physically felt, and their return a recreation of the whole. When you trust them with who you are, truly, under the layers of walls and masks and shields you’ve built to keep yourself safe. When you’re truly you, and they’re themselves, together. 

So I don’t believe in epic love stories. These stories can have epic moments, yes- moments that any reader would easily pick out in a story, that stick in the mind and shake the soul. But they’re just that, moments in time, a scene from the story to give it excitement. But the real love story isn’t there. 

The real love story is small, small and easily missed, but all the more precious for being so.

I am broken. I’ve been abandoned and ignored too many times to still be whole. I don’t trust people anymore, not with something as important as my heart.

You were different. You slipped right through the cracks. I told you things I never meant to tell anyone, things I’d hidden so deep that I had to crawl through the darkness to find them. You brought out a version of me I didn’t know existed anymore. But, you didn’t fix me. I am still broken and now you’re leaving and that’s okay. I’ve been broken before, one more crack won’t kill me. Just please stop asking me if I’m okay. Please stop caring so much. Don’t make this harder than it has to be.
—  “Are you okay?”
2

“when chanced with greatness, it appears i always take the shadowed spot for a crooked smile. so here i sat in bed thinking about you, wondering if i would be forever resigned to the fact that if life were a poorly trained assassin, you’d be the gun to my head and your lips would be the bullet that would tear me down indefinitely.”
- adam tie. (inspired by peaky blinders)

Restless Mornings

A/N: **SMUT AHEAD** YOU HAVE BEEN WARNED. This is something I have had in my draft for a while now and finally decided to finish it. Dear lord help me I can’t believe I am actually posting this… I am not a pro at smut so I hope you enjoy lol. I need to go find some holy water RIP…

Sinful. She woke up with an unbearable heat between her legs and his name on her lips. Shawn had been on tour for months and his management generously gave him a weeks break before he returned for the last leg of the tour.

Not enough. She needed more time. She needed him.

She let out a shivered breath as she pulled back the duvet and her tiny, cold feet hit the floor. Walking through the house, she was desperately looking for the curly headed boy she was privileged to call hers. When she reached the kitchen, she found him standing with his muscular back exposed. Her eyes became darker at the sight. The things she wanted to do to that boy. He was in the middle of making them tea as he did every morning because he was always awake so much earlier than her. “Tea is the key” he would always joke and tell her and every time it made her laugh just as much as the first time. She walked behind him and snaked her arms around his waist, laying her head against his strong back. Feeling his muscles contract. He laughs softly when she childishly sticks her tongue out to touch his back. He reaches to lay his palm on the back of her hands.

“Well good morning to you too my love,” he says in a soft tone sending chills down her almost naked body. She kisses gently between his shoulder blades making his body shiver. He loved when she was like this. So sweet and needy. Needy for him.

“How did you sleep?” she asks him as she stands on her tip toes to softly peck a few kisses on his neck. “Pretty good but I forgot how much you like to move in your sleep” he laughs. He turns, now facing his beautiful girlfriend wearing his favorite t-shirt that was too big for her petite body, the sleeves falling off her shoulders. Her legs bare. She stares longingly at him for a while. Noticing how his jaw clenched at the sight of her. His cheeks rosy. She loved knowing she has such an affect on him. Her need for him was unbearable. He let his eyes rake down her body.

Oh how he worshiped that body.

“So what’s on your mind?” his thumb gently stroking her cheek, the warm contact making her want for him blossom. She needs more of him. He could tell she was bothered. Sexually frustrated.

“Oh nothing, I’ve just missed you is all,” sending him a smile. She cups his face in her hand, caressing his cheek with her thumb. He leans his head into her small hand. Closing his eyes to take in every ounce of her touch. “I’ve missed you just as much ya know, love?” he whispers then placing a hungry kiss on her lips. He grabs her hips trying to pull her as far into him as possible as if she would slip away from him at any time if he loosened his hold on her. She whimpers into the kiss making his body tense. God, all her noises were so sexy to him.

Slowly his hands slid under her shirt, sliding up her stomach. Her whole body went numb, and she couldn’t control herself anymore. She wants him with every ounce of her being. She needs to hear his moans, her moans. Together. She is begging to be touched by him right here, 
right now. Without hesitation, her hands are around his neck. She searches for his eyes desperately as she licks her dry lips. “I need you,” she spoke quietly in his ear, “so much.. please.” He smirks at her broken words because he knew, he
 fucking knew she was done for. Shawn kisses her neck softly. “Oh darling, you drive me so fucking crazy,” he whispers against her skin. He looks down at her. His eyes hungrily look over her beautiful body. She is flawless to him.

She is absolutely breath taking.

He kisses her, biting her bottom lip. He sucks it in between his teeth causing a moan to tumble from her plush lips. He picks her up without breaking the kiss. Her legs tangle around his body tightly as he heads for their bedroom. He lays her on their white duvet and quickly rips his shirt off her body. She’s completely naked underneath. He could never get used to seeing her body. She’s perfect to him. Every cute freckle, luscious curve, and beautiful scar. He just runs his fingers down her stunning body as he stares in awe.

“Fuck, I love when you don’t wear panties for me,” he says admiring her bare skin. He leans down to connect his swollen lips with hers. He begins leaving wet kisses on her neck, making his way down her body. Stopping at her stomach. “You’re so fucking beautiful you know? I just can’t ever get enough” he whispers against her skin. His hands ghost down her body as his lips make their way back up to her neck. Leaving open mouth kissing on her skin. Sucking on her skin as his fingers dig into her thighs making her skin burn from his touch. He slowly slides his finger across her entrance only to pull it away. She whines softly causing Shawn to smirk cheekily. He was pleased with the reaction he was given. “Oh goodness. You want my fingers inside you, doll?” he keens as he strokes his finger back across her slowly before pulling away his finger again. “Please, please do something,” she pleads. The lack of contact was killing her.

Hell he couldn’t stop. Not now. She needs him too much.

He can’t get enough. Seeing the desperation on her face. Watching her body tremble for him. “You want to fuck yourself on my fingers? Mmm, so needy for me. You’re fucking lusting. I love it. I really do, doll. But you’re gonna have to beg for it. You’re gonna have to tell me how bad you want it. How bad you want me.” He began kissing and biting on her neck while awaiting her response. The correct response. If she wants him, she is going to have to prove it. She began to beg him the only way she knew how, "Shawn please. I-I want you. God. Just fuck, fucking I need you. Need you so much.” By now she was panting. Longing for some kind of contact from him.

She begs so beautifully. How could he deny? “You sound amazing with my name on your lips like that, doll,” he whispers into her ear. His nose grazes the shell of her ear as he begins to slide two fingers inside her. She tosses her head back at the feeling of euphoria that’s consuming her. He loves knowing only he could drive her crazy like this. Only he could see her unravel like this. Only he could make her soaking wet. “Shawn, please,” she pleaded. He smirks knowing he’s got her good. He curls his fingers inside her. Just missing her g-spot leaving her helpless. She let a sigh fall from her swollen lips. He craves the glorious sound. He continued to move his fingers inside her slow as his other hand reaches up her body to play with her pink, stiff nipples that were lacking attention. He slowly pinched one between his thumb and index finger. Her back arched at his touch. Craving more. His mouth began leaving marks are her breasts as he kissed them. Assaulting them with his plump lips. Biting her skin, she is at his mercy and she needed more. He knew. But not yet. She has to wait. His fingers then take on another angle that barely brushes against her clit which causes her to let out a strangled whimper beneath him. He could tell she was starting to get close, so he slid his fingers out of her. Her cunt aches at the loss of him. Going down her body, he replaced his fingers with his tongue. Slowly sliding his tongue across the slit of her pussy. She was dripping for him. “Don’t tease me Shawn, please.” He began flicking his tongue across her throbbing clit. She arched her back again in pure bliss. “You like that baby? God you taste so sweet. Do you like when I fuck you with my tongue?” All she could do is moan in response. Holy fuck her moans drove him wild. “Dammit, you’re so good. So fucking good to me.” She lets a grumbled moan escape her lips trying to hold back. “It’s okay kitten, scream for me,” he says as he begins sucking hard on her clit. She could feel herself soaking his fingers. Dripping down her round thighs. She became a mess underneath. He continued licking her out, completely devouring every bit of her sweetness. He love the taste of her. He craved her. He circled his tongue around her clit as she came for him. Pulling his curly hair, she caused him to groan into her cunt. Sending vibrations through her core. She was moaning his name so gorgeously. Earning another growl from his parted lips. He slowly makes his way back up her body. Leaving open mouthed kisses as he licks all the way up to her neck. He stops and stares at her body underneath him. His cock is aching for her. He ruts his hips into the bed to give himself some relief. 

What a gorgeous sight she was.

Breathing deep, chest heaving. Ready for him. He wants to be inside her so terribly. Making her moan. Not yet. He needs to know how badly she wants it. He needs to hear how desperately she wants him, again. “What do you want, darling?” he asks as he begins kissing a line from her jaw to her breasts. Sucking harshly on them. “Please Shawn, you know what I want,” she says blushing. He looks up, smirking at her, “oh my pet, but I need to hear it from your beautiful lips.” He drags a finger across her bottom lip. She opens her mouth and sucks on it hard.  Taking him off guard, making him wince and groan softly in pleasure. So much that he almost completely lost it. She’s so good. "Shawn I want you to fuck me. Please baby. I need to feel you inside me,” she states quickly. She would usually be blushing at the words coming out of her mouth, but not this time. This time, she is completely shameless. This time she is tugging down his boxers. Begging for his cock to be inside her tight hole. She had longed for this moment ever since she got out of bed this morning. Actually, ever since he stepped through that door a few days ago, she’d been needy for him.

Her words turned him on even more. He grips onto her and flips them over. Placing his hands firmly on her waist. “Ride me, kitten. God please, let me watch you come undone for me. I wanna see you,” he whispers to her. She places her hands on his chest and begins grinding on him slow. Teasing him. His lips parted as he let out a low, throaty moan. She smirks watching her effect she has on him already. She then lowers herself onto his length nice and slow. Letting herself adjust. They both let out a moan together. Beautiful. She begins to ride him slow. Bouncing on him. Her breasts moving as she did. He was losing his focus as he watches his cock disappear into her cunt. He begins digging his fingers further into her skin. Leaving nail marks. “Fuck, you look so good on my cock. You feel so good. So good to me. So tight. So wet,” he was mesmerized as he watched her. He needed more of her. Now. He bucked his hips making his length go deeper into her, hitting her . She threw her head back in pleasure and screamed his name. Their bodies move in sync together. Their hips colliding as she quickens her pace. She began to scrape her nails down his toned chest making him wince beneath her. She was picking up her pace as her climax approached. “Baby, please,” she begged him. “Not yet my pet, I haven’t given you permission,” he growls. Spanking her for even proposing the sinful idea. “You have to tell me how bad you want it. Come on baby.” She strangles a moan. She knew she couldn’t last much longer, so words began pouring out of her mouth as she pleaded. "Please baby, let me come. I’ll be good for you. Please,” her lips trembling as she spoke. He can never win with her. She knew that all to well. He was obsessed with her. Consumed in the moment. “Shit, okay kitten okay.” He bucked his hips hard and fast as her orgasm rushed over her. Her legs shaking as she screams his name is pure bliss. "Shawn, please baby, don’t stop don’t stop”

“Fuck…” He thrusts inside her. She’s soaking his cock. Dripping all over his thighs. She continues to grind on him slow until he flips them over where he is now on top. Her hands grab onto his biceps as he leans down to her ear. “It’s my turn to have a little fun now, kitten.” She winces as he pushes his cock inside her swollen cunt. He starts slow but eventually picks up his pace. Their skin rubbing together creating friction between them. She whimpers trying to fight with the mixture of pain from being sensitive and the pleasure of feeling him inside her again. He can feel himself start to lose it. She can see that he’s close and she uses that to her advantage. “Come on love, let go for me. I want to see what I do to you, show me.” He keens at her words. He is completely done for. Making his thrusts become sloppy as he released into her. He came so hard his juices running down her legs. She doesn’t mind. In fact, she loves it.

He pulls out slow and looks at her body in awe. Her sore legs still trembling. He kissing her lips and tells her that he will be right back. He heads for the bathroom and comes back with a damp cloth. He presses it to her thigh and she shudders at the cool contact. He cleans her up and presses a kiss softly to the inside of her thigh. She whispers a soft thank you as he tosses the rag to the floor.

Shawn crawls in the bed next to her and wraps his arms around her small frame. Pressing her back into his chest, he moves her hair and leaves soft kisses on her neck. Her skin is so sweet as always. She turns around to face him and places her hands on his firm chest.

“Thank you,” she says so quietly that her words are barely audible.

He presses his lips to her forehead, and she smiles. This is his tender way of saying you’re welcome, I love you. He pulls her tighter into his chest as he whispers sweet dreams into her ear.

As she starts to drift off she feels him stir.

“Are you okay, love?”

He looks down at her and smiles. “Yeah, I’m fine. Just thinking about you. Somebody was bold today with the dirty talk. Very sexy. Maybe you should try it more often.” He winks at her.

“Oh my god. Go to sleep you ass,” she says hitting his chest as she giggles.

He rests his chin on her head and she snuggles her face into his neck as they start drifting to sleep.

She smiles to herself because she knows wouldn’t rather be anywhere else than with this boy of hers. 

The skin that you are in is beautiful. You don’t have to be lighter. You don’t have to be darker. You don’t have to lose your scars. You don’t need to hide your stretch marks. You don’t need to wear make up unless you like it. There is no addendum or asterisk to that statement. The skin you are in is beautiful. Period. End of.
—  Nikita Gill, The Skin You Are In
I think everything in life is art. What you do. How you dress. The way you love someone, and how you talk. Your smile and your personality. What you believe in, and all your dreams. The way you drink your tea. How you decorate your home. Or party. Your grocery list. The food you make. How your writing looks. And the way you feel. Life is art.
— 

Helena Bonham Carter

hey overwatch authors... PSA

super quick clarification because I see it SO much and it’s just a tiny pet peeve of mine. .

>>>>     Prosthetic is an adjective.

it’s kinda obscure I get that,,, but prosthetic is an adjective. it’s used with a noun. Not alone.

So like this:

  • he has a prosthetic arm
  • she took off her prosthetic legs

Not: 

  • he has a prosthetic.
  • she took off her prosthetics.

If you want to use it like that then use the noun form. Prosthesis” with the plural “prostheses”

So like this:

  • he has a prosthesis
  • she took off her prostheses

Summary: 

Prosthetic is an adjective. Do not use it alone.

Prosthesis/Prostheses is a noun. You can use it alone.

*breathes heavily* sorry if this came off as really aggressive I don’t mean it that way. it’s just something that annoys me as a person who loves grammar and syntax. I feel like it’s not commonly known so don’t feel bad at all but this is a psa!!

carry on with your marvelous writing!

Dating Malfoy
  • Ron: HOLY SHIT HARRY ARE YOU DATING MALFOY?????
  • Harry: Of course I'm not *dating* him. We just have sex sometimes.
  • Ron: Harry, you've been coming back late every night this month.
  • Harry: Okay, we have sex often.
  • Ron: So... only sex?
  • Harry: I mean we talk too— he's surprisingly funny you know. And we study together. And play a bit of quidditch. He even invited me to stay with him over the holidays so we can play together at the Manor!
  • Ron: But you're not...?
  • Harry: Dating? No way.
  • Ron:
  • Harry:
  • Ron:
  • Harry: HOLY SHIT AM I DATING MALFOY????

This is your skin and you owe it to your body to be comfortable in it. This is your voice and you owe it to your truth to be strong and loud with it. This is your history and you owe it to your ancestors to fight and be proud of it. This is your soul. And you owe it to yourself to not let any human, any demons, any trauma desecrate the sanctity of it.

Nikita Gill