personal updated

Hey, so if you’ve noticed how I pretty much have been dead on tumblr for a while….. I finally got around to refilling my queue!  I can look like a normal person again.


Also have thought a lot about how I used to write a lot of personal posts about my life and my work and all that before I moved and sometimes I consider doing that again but mostly I think I’ll continue to be silent on it all.  With personal matters, there’s a lot going on and public conversation is not something I want a part of it.  With work, I both love my job a great deal and most of my former posts were some version of complaints or venting frustration, which I don’t need to really do any more, and also given the amount of information I share and the much more unique nature of my work (particularly as compared to before), it would be very easy to identify where I work if I talked a bit too much about it, so I’ll refrain on that front too.  But here’s a general update:

As mentioned, I love my job.  I do a wild number of things.  I work weird hours.  I’ve learned so so much and I have no idea anymore what a career path looks like for me and that still scares me but hey, I love my job sooooo.

My doggo is amazing and the love of my life.  He’s made huge progress and the stress of being a single mother to a neurotic mess has considerably calmed.  We are both still mild neurotic messes but we’re doing quite well.  

Supergirl and I are still together and coping with living on opposite sides of the country, along with various other things, but we’re working on getting her to the Happy State where I live very soon.

I’ve been doing my photography again and have done several weddings in the past few months and have several more booked, plus am picking up a good number of senior portrait sessions, which I love.

For various reasons, I’ll probably be resuming therapy soon after a year and a half without, BUT honestly I’m in the best mental space I’ve been since probably like 2011 or so (when the weight of grad school began to drown me), so all is well and good.  (I will probably have an anxiety disorder the rest of my life, and depression will always be a companion lurking in the back of my brain, but the three of us have made arrangements which allow me to live my life quite to my satisfaction.)

I’ve been reflecting on my life the past few days and have come to the conclusion that shit isn’t awful.

I have a stable career that is stressful but manageable - mostly due to the fact that I have a life outside of it. MMA has proven to be the best thing that has ever happened to me with its constant accountability (in regards to both attendance and effort) that in turn requires me to eat like a “normal” person. then there’s book club, which gives me a reason to read and monthly socialization in the city.

the argument could be made that I’m not necessarily functioning but rather distracted, but eh. I’m not miserable and I didn’t think I was capable of feeling anything other than that so.