Honestly who the fuck do you think you are

Sometimes I hate being a sensitive little bitch, like you suddenly list everything that’s wrong in my life and I tear up a little bit that’s great, no big deal
But do you think comparing me to someone else helps me feel better about myself? I don’t give a flying fuck what other family members are doing

Shoutout to music always being there for me, but sometimes you can’t ever play music loud enough

My mother once told me not to do drugs
My father followed, said he’d disown me
And then they barked out a laughter
Jumping into another dimension;
Not seeing that I sat still and quiet.

I mean, are drugs really that bad?
Crimes, yes, are bad and should
Definitely be prevented but really?

Drugs?
The last resort of haunted people?
The only ecstasy of mourning people?
The dim light that contradictingly keeps people alive?
Addiction is bad, yes, but
Why do you tell people that
Drugs are bad?

Isn’t injustice the cause?
Isn’t corruption a reason?
Isn’t abuse the suspect?
Aren’t criminals the bad ones?
And you tell me drugs are bad
Because they make people addicted?

No, they aren’t.
I know better.
Those that are bad aren’t drugs.
The bad ones are the people;
The people who so crave for
Everything so they greed and steal,
Molest and hurt and kill.

And you say drugs are evil?
No. Not really. 
Well, at least, not for me.
It’s all about humans
Not being humane.

— 

Drugs

© 2015 Coleen Elloso

It’s so fucking disgusting that when a girl says that she’s into women, people (mostly immature men) say things like ” Oh, so you like threesomes?” or something like “Oh that’s hot can I watch you kiss your girlfriend?” Fuck off. Our sexual orientation is not for your entertainment. It’s just really sad that pretty much the only place where lesbians are accepted are in pornographic/sexual situations. But when a woman is genuinely in love with another woman, it’s “wrong” and she still can’t even get married in some states.

I’m sorry I haven’t really been blogging or reviewing much recently. I do have a few things I’m working on; the Lush Hiring Process and How It’s Made: Ickle Baby Bot!

I had my first shift yesterday and it was super busy but it was such great fun! I’m working today too! I’m definitely going to get a few bits to do reviews of and try out so if anyone has any recommendations let me know!

I’m going through a tough time with my boyfriend of 4 years. People do change overtime and it’s quite scary to finally admit to yourself that although you love someone, you’re not IN love with them. So I expect my next couple of weeks/months to be tricky emotionally and physically, please bear with me!

Always remember: respect yourself enough to walk away from anything which no longer serves you, grows you or makes you happy!

You know what no ..I’m not gonna take this anymore. If I wanna fucking dress comfortable I’m gonna fucking dress comfortable. If I wanna look ducking beautiful. You don’t need your parents or anyone to tell you how beautiful you are how amazing you are how wonderful you are. Because the only person who can be you is YOU. I’m sorry for my little rant but I’m tired of people giving me shit about how I look. Yes I know I don’t wear make up, yes I know I don’t like to comb my hair, yes I know I FUCKING KNOW.

I made this decision it is not up to you too decided how I fucking wear why I want I wear. And this goes for families that assume their child’s sexuality. Yes the do look or are the sexuality of what they used to be . No people have choices people have options. It is not up to you to dictate that aspect of their lives. Stop. No more. Because I’m happy with the way I look!! I’m proud to be who I am. And I want everyone to know you are all amazing the way you are, the way you dress. The way you live. ❤️✌️✌️❤️ you are all beautiful.

Personal rant sorry about this

yo like old people give our generation so much shit for being rude and disrespectful but

in my 5 years of working at a fast food restaurant

i have never once, not ONCE, been abused or spoken rudely to for any reason by a young person.

You know who yells at me when the restaurant is busy and their order takes a little longer? When there’s a mistake with their food? Asshole middle aged people.

You know who smiles and says it’s ok? Teenagers and little kids.

This is MY life. I am going to live it the way I want. I’m going to get that tattoo. I’m going to buy those shorts. I’m going to lay in bed for an extra hour. I’m going to do what makes ME happy, what benefits ME. I’m tired of living my life based on what other people want. I’m going to wear as much fucking eyeliner and red lipstick as I want. I’m going to wear those high-waisted shorts and combat boots. I’m going to wear them because I like them and because I feel fucking amazing in them. I’m going to buy lacey underwear and cute bras for my-fucking-self because they make ME feel good. I’m sick of people telling me what I should and should not wear. I’m sick of people saying I shouldn’t do something because “boys don’t like it.” I DO NOT spend MY time worrying about what a fuck boy thinks about my damn hair or what style of jeans I have on. If I like it, I’m doing it for ME, no one else.
—  rant @ 11:14

Okay Boom Knux haters, I’ve seen many of your comments, and I’d like to make some things very clear here:

NOT KNOWING YOUR LEFT FROM YOUR RIGHT DOES NOT MAKE YOU AN IDIOT.

BEING UNABLE TO READ DOES NOT MAKE YOU AN IDIOT.

(Please feel free to add on to this post, friends.)

The fact that you apparently think these things is really fricking insulting to many real life people. Just saying.

I have a feeling that we might get the first part of page XXIII in the next episode… but what do I know, all I know is there’s going to be an OQ kiss. *squealing******

Also, I find it very amusing that the next episode is titled ‘Poor Unfortunate Souls’ as in MY poor unfortunate soul for shipping these soulmates. They are so painful to watch sometimes, like my heart literally aches when I see them. Every minute they’re not together is torture. They stress me out!! But I can’t. stop. loving. them.

I hate the food commercials.

I hate the weight loss commercials.

I hate the commercials that say people need to be a certain way to be liked. 

I hate that everyone says we should change but they continue to say people need to be skinny. Like no.

fuck all that. I’m tired of feeling like i don’t deserve food because society doesn’t like who I am. 

STEROIDS LEL

Apparently lots of men think they can look at me and know what steroids I’m running.

Which is hilarious because I’m not on any at all.

So this is my open letter to all of those men who want to shit all over my progress and achievements (and those of other awesome, strong, fit and drug-free ladies) by simply ascribing that success to steroids:

Look guys, I know it’s sometimes really tough on the male ego to deal with a woman who is physically strong, powerful, and pretty-fit looking — but not every woman needs to run tons of steroids to be physically strong. Not every woman needs to run steroids to be ripped, or muscular, or fit.

Some of us women, just like some of you men, have been blessed with amazing genetics. We have a very easy time making strength gains or cutting up or bulking up or whatever our fitness goals are.

I know that to you, it doesn’t matter that I eat a healthy protein-heavy diet, or that I put in 10-12 hours of intense, heavy weight training every week in the gym, or that I don’t go out and get wasted every weekend and instead spend a lot of time doing meal prep and actively planning out my meals and training for that week.

In the end, the results of my hard work make you feel utterly inadequate, so you apparently have to come up with (untrue) excuses to feel better about yourselves and your lack of dedication or commitment. Take some time to reflect about why your jealousy of strong and fit drug-free women makes you so venomous and full of vitriol. And then get the fuck over it.

I just want someone

Someone to cuddle. I need to have my hair played with, my sides tickles, I just need to cry and to be heard. My heart is in so much pain. I can’t focus. I don’t know why I just know that I’m hurting. I feel like a burden. I feel undesirable. I feel ugly and like I’m not worth it. It probably doesn’t help that I am on my period but God damnit I can’t handle emotions I’m not good at them I just can’t.

Personal.

The hardest part of being a stepmom is when my stepdaughter call me mommy and somebody tried to tell her I’m not her “real mom.” I parent her. I protect her. I feed, bathe, care for, love, and nature her. I’m as much of a mother as it comes. She is TWO. She chose to start calling me mommy out of her own free will - we never pushed a name for me. I am 33.333% her parent. I may not have made her, but on our parenting time it is 50/50 daddy & ‘mommy’ taking care of her. (Maybe even a little bit more ‘mommy’ than daddy lol.) Don’t you dare tell me that sweet innocent child can’t call me mommy because I didn’t give birth to her. I realize I’m not her bio mom. She will always have a strong bond with her bio mom, but her bio mom is also unstable and not the best person or mother. I’m her mother, too, point blank.