personal randumness

I really really REALLY like Francis as the “uke” when it comes to naughtiness with him and Arthur ok?? My personal headcanon is that they’d have the most balanced relationship when dealing with dominance and also the pairing that has the most sex  but everytime I think about them getting it on my mind always just seems to imagine France being the one thats getting fucked.  I think its hot ok… 

Sometimes I feel like the reason why I am living in this world even though I seem to despise it is because before I was born into a human body I saw this world and how it was suffering and I wanted to help it despite knowing I’d suffer because I guess I always care about the sake of others before I even begin to give thought towards myself
But sometimes I’m not sure if I’m even cut out for this world let alone save it….
Sometimes I just feel stuck yet so ungrounded and the feeling is painful and it’s always in the back of my mind and my subconscious
But you know what’s also there?
Hope
It’s been a clutch for me, a reason for me to carry on without questioning my worth but the thing is I don’t know if it’s genuine or false hope
The ugly world I created is full of confusion and I am not an orderly person