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honestly…….. boobs are so great you guys

im just sitting here thinking about just mere months ago I would touch my bras and feel a huge gap of air between the bra and my skin, empty space that my flat chest didnt fill.

and now???? its full! i fill all my bras! like magic! and theyre all mine.

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I’d rather fight with you than laugh with another.
I’d rather freeze in your arms than be warm under covers.
And I’d let you hit me before I’d ever let you hit the floor.
I’d rather choke than to breathe in your absence.
I’d rather feel your wrath than feel another’s passion.
And I’d rather die on the day that I give you a kiss, than spend the rest of my life knowing I never did.
—  Private fears in Public Places by Front Porch Step

I’m still having feels about that last CS scene though. 

Killian knows something is wrong.  Emma promises him that’s it’s just stress.  He doesn’t believe her, but he’s trusting her.  He’s trusting her judgement in that this is something he doesn’t need to know.  Emma’s probably either hoping that she can find away around her fate, or keep this secret long enough to live as normal a life as possible before she dies.  So don’t get me wrong, I get where she’s coming from.  It’s just that she could seriously damage Killian’s trust in her with this secret, and his trust in her has already taken a beating after 5A.  When Killian finds out, it’s not going to be pretty and I’m so not ready for it! 

Holy crap!

My phone is blowing up and my email is so full I can’t even keep up with it.  My GoFundMe campaign has already gotten nearly $2,000 in donations and it hasn’t even been up for more than 5 hours!  I’ve been contacted by the producer of the show The Doctors and she wants me to call her tomorrow to tell her more about my story.  I would love to have the platform to speak about my disease and shed light on something that isn’t well known or talked about.  If it could help other people struggling with this disease I would feel so grateful for the opportunity to do so. 

I feel like I’m dreaming.  No matter how many mean people are out there, there are just as many amazing ones.  I’m focusing on those ones.  My heart is overflowing with love, it’s overwhelming.  I’ve been crying all night out of pure happiness.  I am speechless. 

hi guys so idk if you know about my seasonal depression that usually starts like now (bascially when I start school) anyways I’m in my last year of high school and basically I should go to uni the next year and obvs I’m not ready for it (+my parents kinda force me to go to law) but the thing is that I don’t even know what I want to do like I’m not good at anything and I don’t really like anything particular(?) and idk I feel sad all the time and kinda suicidal plus my ed has gotten worse and yeah idek why I’m tell it you this …haha anyways,,how are you guys?

6

So, it’s amazing what two to three years can do to a person. 

The left images are me from 2013-2014. The right images have all been taken this year.

I’m stuck in a depressing hell right now, yes. And yes, I have a lot of self-hatred right now that I’m sorting through.

But I look at these pictures, and I remember just how much more I hated myself back then. (Don’t let the fact I’m smiling in those and not the others fool you; I simply have a lair for the dramatic these days and serious expressions look better on me.)

Yeah, I have low self-esteem now. I’m trans. It happens. It happens a LOT.

But I’m happier about myself than I was back then. I have more of a style than I did back then (back then it was, “just don’t dress to flatter yourself at all so the men don’t lust”; well, lust all you want now guys, it just means you’re gay as hell). I have more confidence than I did back then. (I don’t have much confidence at all. But I have more than I did back then.) I feel more right

I’ve changed. A lot. 

And I think it’s a good thing. I think I’ve turned out okayish.

I deleted and blocked a really toxic person’s number and it’s been a week already and it feels so good to not think about them, to not check up on them even once, to not be apart of their life in any way possible, it’s so eye opening. I love not seeing their name in my contacts, not seeing their thread in my texts, and not feeling so unhappy when I try to be apart of their life with a simple conversation. I’m here for this, I love this feeling, I feel so free. I think I’m finally clean.