person: all other men will never compare

When I was born, my Grampy gave me the nickname “Penny”. Penny is me in my purest, most authentic form. On July 19th 2012, I lost my brother Miyagi to an inoperable brain tumor. He was 26. My brother and I were very close. We were only 2 years apart. I never thought of him as a separate person, but an extension of myself. He was my reflection. In his presence I was confident and always so sure… I was Penny. Since that day I have been incomplete, losing all direction and sense of self. Since that day I have been lost trying to find him… trying to find my way back to my self… back to Penny. I turn to writing as my form of therapy, but it’s never quite enough. I released 2 projects since then, but I wasn’t quite myself. I try to find my brother’s love in other men, but they never can compare. I try to get closer to my brother by doing different drugs, hoping that if I get high enough I can reach him, but they only take me further away. I distract myself with work, which buys me things I wish I could share with him. I distract myself with work, which causes stress I wish he were here to help me with. The presence of my daughter, my siblings, my parents… only make his absence more apparent. And so, I find myself taking trips, trying to escape any person, place or thing that is too familiar. Physical trips by car, by plane… Mental trips with controlled substances… Trips in solitude in hopes that the quiet will bring me and my brother back together. Through out these travels I’ve been keeping a record of my dreams, feelings and experiences in notebooks. I turned these notebooks into a MAP. a Movie (TRIP short film), an Album (TRIP) and a Poetry book (2fish) This map has been helping me navigate through my suffering, uncovering the righteous path that has been carved out before and for me… Helping me identify my pain and my mistakes so that I can move forward and reach my full potential and find the light at the end of the tunnel… My personal “hero’s journey". and although I am not there yet… I know I’m getting closer. This map was made by me, for me… but I feel obligated to share because I know that I am not alone in my suffering. If there’s one thing I’m sure of it’s that every single person on this planet is suffering. Not a single soul in this world is immune to the pain of losing someone they love. The reality of this life is, at some point we will all lose someone we love. In sharing this MAP, I hope to inspire others to be more present in the lives of the people they love. I hope this MAP encourages honesty, empathy and compassion. In sharing this MAP, I hope to inspire others to share their own mistakes, imperfections and fears… because I believe in doing so we can understand each other better and realize we are more alike than different. In sharing this MAP, I hope to inspire others to share their grief and pain because I believe suffering can be alleviated when we understand we are not going through any of it alone. - Jhené Aiko Efuru “Penny” Chilombo

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anonymous asked:

Can I get some jealous rfa nerds please? How they'd express it, and maybe what they'd need from their S/O to reassure them?? Pls and thank you! 💕💕

They’re all damn nerds alright 💕 


Zen:

  • He’s a quiet ball of tantrums. There’s not much he can do in public at seeing the way guys stare at you, for an actor must keep his cool. All he settles to doing is wrapping his arm tighter against your waist and pulling you so tight against him it’s near impossible to walk together.
  • “Zen, what is it? What’s wrong? I can’t really walk with your feet literally one centimeter close to mine. We’re gonna end up falling like this.” He huffs and you sigh. “Alright, Hyun. Tell me what’s wrong or I’m not going out with you anymore.”
  • You used his real name, he knows you mean business and he has no other choice but to lose his composure in front of you. He doesn’t like it but he knows it’s the only way to still have you go out with him to places where he can show you off to the world.
  • “I don’t like the way they stare at you. All those guys, have they no respect at seeing a pretty girl be out with her man? I know all men are beasts but you have me, they all need to look somewhere else before I show them what a true beast is like.”
  • You feel yourself flush at his words but the pout of anger on his face is too cute to ignore. “Oh, my handsome Zenny. You have so much of the world against your perfect life. Know that I will never leave you, babe. No other man can ever compare to your beauty and wonderful personality.” It makes you slightly cringe but his lovestruck eyes are back on you in a flash. Oh how you love him.

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Tumblr Hypocrisy
  • Tumblr: Everyone is equal regardless of skin color!
  • Tumblr: YOU'RE WHITE?!?!? HOW DOES IT FEEL BEING RESPONSIBLE FOR SLAVERY 200 YEARS AGO?????? YEAH. DRINK BLEACH MOTHERFUCKER.
  • Tumblr: Accept everyone regardless of gender!
  • Tumblr: DIE CIS SCUM GO KILL YOURSELF.
  • Tumblr: Nobody should ever try to pressure someone into suicide!
  • Tumblr: YOU PIECE OF TRASH GO JUMP OFF A BUILDING!
  • Tumblr: Tolerate everyone's opinions even if you personally disagree!
  • Tumblr: YOU HAVE AN OPPOSITE OPINION COMPARED TO ME SO YOU MUST HATE POC, QUEERS, WOMEN, AND DISABLED PEOPLE. I WISH ALL THOSE LIKE YOU WOULD DIE.
  • Tumblr: Please tolerate other people regardless of religion!
  • Tumblr: YOU'RE A CHRISTIAN???? YOU CAN GO DIE IN A FIRE. I HOPE YOUR FAMILY BURNS.
  • Tumblr: Everyone is equal whether man or woman!
  • Tumblr: KILL ALL MEN. THE WORLD WOULD BE A BETTER PLACE IF MEN NEVER EXISTED. FEMINISTS ARE BETTER THAN EVERYONE ELSE.
  • Tumblr: A self proclaimed safe haven full of discriminatory, self righteous, self justified morons who try to turn absolutely everything into an issue of race, sexism, ableism, etc. and anybody who deviates from a popular opinion by even one iota is somehow responsible for killing disadvantaged/oppressed people and should kill themselves and have their families crucified in the name of tolerance for all.

tbh you don’t have to like yoi but people going around saying the show is “gay just for the views” or “it’s just fan service” really shows that minorities can oppress other minorities. For like the past five years (maybe more) lgbtq community has been begging to have a show that can help them relate to their own issues. Not to mention yoi is a lot more than a gay relationship. Yuri has gripping anxiety and self doubt that we all struggle with on a daily basis which makes him seem more real, relatable and human as a main character. The best part is they don’t make Yuris sexuality an issue where every time Victor does something amazing Yuri isn’t thinking “why am I finding him attractive ?? No homo bro” like he just accepts it and it’s so nice because they normalize homosexuality instead of making it seem like something most men HAVE TO deny any attraction towards other men. What I’m trying to say is if you think yoi is teasing at mlm relationships maybe you need to compare yoi to the other sports animes that gave numerous amounts of teasing and hints of homosexuality but never went through with it. So get your head out of the gutter and stop shitting all over the show this is the only thing that the lgbtq community has let us enjoy this one thing kay ? Thanks