After a year plus of beating around the bush, I’m going to come out and say it. That Kylo Ren stans, Reylo shippers and Kylo/Hux stans and shippers are actual real life Nazis. And I do mean ALL of them. No exceptions. Every single one of them, especialy the ones who go out of their way to write inane posts about how much Finn is a bad guy.e.t.c.
And if you know one of this people in real life, you should know they are Nazis or Nazi sympathizers which is basically the same thing.
The Star Wars fandom need to eject this people from the fandom. They are a cancer to humanity. They deserve nothing but scorn.
Note: I had this in my drafts for a while, then Sebastian decides to grace us with his leather jacket?? fucc me. I don’t even write about the leather jacket - it’s a slight mention, lawl. oh and since I’m sick, I don’t feel up to finishing requests. hopefully this ties you guys over! not really sure what it is, just go along with it. gif credit to owner! feedback is always welcome, I love reading your comments!! .c
Warnings: SMUT, 18+, I’M 20 AND WILL NOT BE HELD ACCOUNTABLE FOR WHAT YOU UNDERAGE KIDS DECIDE TO READ. YOU’VE BEEN WARNED.
The heavy sound of boots with chains hanging from the shoelace loops caught your attention behind you. Your ears perked as you listened closely. Great. He’s here. You rolled your eyes and clenched your jaw as the sound got closer.
Bucky Barnes was a regular in the local library, just like you were. He was cocky, he rode a black motorcycle, he was way too flirty, and he got on your nerves. He didn’t waste a single second to piss you off and make you equally as flustered at the same time. You hated him. Also, you liked him. You’d never admit that there was any sexual tension between you two. The last thing that man needs is a bigger head. No, not that one. But if you could feel that tension, you knew he could.
“Pornographic books again, Doll?” His breath fanned across your cheek as he leaned down, his arms either side of you, his large hands resting on the table. You scoffed and ignored the shiver that ran down your spine when he not-so-subtly sniffed your hair.
“A friend recommended this one, Barnes. Now get away, you smell like burnt rubber.” You nudged your elbow against his chest and he chuckled, moving to sit across from you at the table.
Taking off his leather jacket and setting it on the table, he slumped back in his seat, trailing his hand through his hair as he grinned at you.
“Is that so? They wanna get you all hot and bothered with a book? I can do that with my words.” He challenged, his blue eyes boring right into yours. You inhaled deeply - not missing the way his eyes fell to your cleavage in your low-cut top as it rose with your air intake - and ignored him.
Your eyes fell back onto your book that rest on the table. It was silent for a few moments and you actually got lost in the fantasy, subconsciously biting your bottom lip. Your thighs squeezed together and you let your tongue slowly lick your bottom lip before turning the page.
This caught Bucky’s attention. He watched as your eyes skimmed across the pages, the way you slightly squirmed in your seat. Bucky leaned forward and rest his elbows on the table as he smirked at you.
“You’re wet.” Bucky stated lowly, his eyes focused on your lips. Your head shot up and your mouth was agape. Bucky bit his lip this time, seeing as you made the perfect ‘o’ shape. His mind raced with thoughts of what your mouth would feel like against his, and full of his-
“What are you even doing here? Go bother someone else!” You slammed your book closed and sighed heavily, bringing him out of his thoughts. A loud shush came from the little old lady that came around a bookshelf. You gave her an apologetic smile before she rolled her eyes and left the space.
Bucky chuckled and leaned back in his chair again, linking his fingers behind his head. His biceps looked as if they were ready to rip through the material of his shirt. And fuck, if that didn’t do things to you. “Come on, you know I love teasing you, Doll.” He licked his lips and you cursed yourself for feeling your panties get even more wet at the sight of his tongue.
You felt blood rush to your face and you creased your eyebrows. Okay, it’s time he gets a taste of his own medicine. You crossed your arms to purposefully push your breasts together. Bucky’s biceps flexed as his eyes took in the sight of your cleavage once again. That got a reaction you were hoping for.
“Instead of teasing me all the time, why don’t you do something about it?” You countered innocently, tilting your head slightly. You lifted your foot underneath the table and trailed it up along the inside of Bucky’s leg. He let out a harsh breath, letting his eyes travel up to your face. His throat bobbed as he swallowed thickly.
You bit your lip again and raised your eyebrows, looking at him with such innocence, he felt his jeans tighten completely. He sat there completely still and utterly shocked. You let your foot drop back down. Got him.
Seeing as he wasn’t going to respond anymore, you picked your book up again, only now you held it up in front of your face and continued to read. If you weren’t in the library right now, you would laugh so hard you’d be crying. The reaction on Bucky’s face was award winning.
After finishing another paragraph, it was finally quiet again. So quiet, that you couldn’t hear Bucky’s heavy breathing anymore. You were able to finish a whole page without any interruptions from him. You were lucky to get through that much before.
You slowly brought your book down from your face and looked at the empty seat in front of you. Bucky wasn’t there, but his leather jacket was still on the table where he left it.
You turned your head, looking all around you and didn’t spot Bucky anywhere, or rather anyone. Your eyebrows creased with confusion as you looked at his empty seat again. He was just hereand you didn’t even hear him leave or see him get up. Where did he even go?
Suddenly, you felt something stubbly - much like a face - sliding in between your legs, slowly moving closer to your soaking panties. A gasp fell from your lips as you felt two hands rest on the outsides of your thighs, gently pulling them apart.
Your chest rose and fell quickly as his fingers dug into your flesh. You knew it was Bucky just by the feel of him smirking and his long hair tickling your skin. His warm breath fanned out across your clothed pussy, and you immediately regretted wearing a skirt today. Actually, you regretted waking up and coming to the library today.
Bucky’s tongue licked a stripe up your panties and you felt his warm breath huff out against you. There’s no fucking way he’s doing this right now. His hands made their way towards the hem of your panties and he slid them down to your ankles, trailing his lips down your inner thigh. He sat still and you knew he was resting a moment to take in the sight of you, spread out and wet.
Your eyes shut as you felt him slide his face between your thighs again. You swallowed harshly and felt his tongue lick another stripe up your pussy, circling around your clit. A moan almost made its way out of your mouth but you bit down on your lip.
Bucky’s mouth closed around your clit and he started to suck, using his tongue to lightly nudge against it. Your hand shot down to grip onto his hair, your fingers tangling into his long locks. This seemed to get him going; he groaned against you, but stopped once he remembered he had to stay quiet.
Your thighs shook around Bucky’s head and you inhaled deeply when you felt his finger circling around your entrance. He gently slid his finger inside of you, curling perfectly to hit your g-spot. A soft whimper fell from your lips and he smirked against you. He shook his head back and forth and pulled you closer with his left hand.
You slapped your other hand over your mouth as felt yourself getting closer to your orgasm. Bucky inserted a second finger, speedily sliding his fingers in and out of your tight, wet pussy. You tugged on his hair harshly as your eyes momentarily rolled into the back of your head and he pulled his mouth away, planting a kiss to your thigh before attaching his mouth to you again.
His tongue was long and felt so amazing, you were nearly in tears from holding in your moans. Bucky’s fingers nudged your g-spot one last time before you became a quivering mess in your chair. He kept going, pleasuring you through your orgasm as you came on his face.
Your eyes were hooded and your mouth was slightly open but nothing came out as you finished, your hips jerking a little as Bucky licked you clean. You slumped in your chair, breathing heavily, and felt him pull your panties back up. His lips planted a kiss to your clothed, sensitive clit before you felt him move away from you.
Bucky appeared out from under the table with a proud smirk, disheveled hair, and red cheeks. Then he smiled - an actual genuine smile - as he took in your wrecked appearance. He made a show of wiping his chin and sucking his finger and you sat up, feeling your thighs shake a little.
You cleared your throat, avoiding his playful stare. “What-what was that?” You whispered, bravely looking up at Bucky now. He licked his lips and chuckled deeply, running his hand through his hair again.
(If you want to be added or removed, or if you’ve changed your URL and still want to be tagged, message me! Strike-through or no notification while your name is listed, it means I couldn’t tag you! check your settings! .c)
request:“Would you mind writing an imagine where tom comes home late to find the reader asleep in the office from studying and so he carries the reader up the stairs and they wake up in his arms and it’s just cute and fluffy and leads to cuddling or something?? Thank you so much!!!! Love your writing btw!!” (requested by anon)
short summary: ^^
length: 941 words
A/N: just a quick/short little thing, i was feeling a bit inspired last night tbh sorry it’s shit (also ik i’m doing requests out of order i’m also sorry for that too)
Tom had had a particularly long day, as both of his flights back home had been delayed for several hours each. He was a bit peeved considering how excited he was to see you earlier in the day and take you out for dinner, but those plans came to a halt seeing as it was currently 2:15AM.
Pairing: Steve Rogers x Reader Rating: Teens and Up Summary: Steve wants to draw on Reader’s skin and she doesn’t expect what she sees in the mirror. WordCount: 1.5k Genre: Fluff! Warnings: none.
Special thank you to @punkrockhippiefromthefourties for being my beta!xx
As you sat on one of the two armchairs in your bedroom, you tucked your leg under the other while your bare feet rested on the edge of the coffee table. You held your tablet in your hands with your earbuds in your ears, watching your favorite show on Netflix.
You had come back from an assignment only a few hours ago and all you wanted to do was have some time for yourself and your boyfriend, Steve. The breaks from work were rare since you had joined the Avengers a year and a half ago, but the good side was you had found a family and a loving boyfriend.
having no emotional permanence sucks. I can have an awesome conversation with a friend one day, they will literally express that they care about me and say they are there for me, it’s clear that they like me and are not just talking to me out of pity or w/e, and then the next day they might be a little less animated when we talk, they might not reply as quick or at all, and suddenly They Hate Me and we will never reach that level of friendship again, they must have been lying the day before, and I can’t stop thinking I am annoying them by talking to them. it sucks so much because I can’t build solid relationships with people because my perception of what they think of me depends on how they interact with me that day, regardless of our past interactions or conversations.
Being Tom Holland’s girlfriend wasn’t an easy task, but someone had to do it, right?. Being away from him sucked at the beginning, but ever since last year you had started coming to the recording sets along with him and Harrison, so everything worked great for you guys.
Tom loved having his girlfriend next to him everyday, not worrying about distance ruining their relationship, and the fans and press loved you! Even his castmates, whom Y/n had developed a great friendship with.
Following Tom around his crazy schedule had many negatives, such as being sleep deprived all the time, but it also had it’s perks. You got to tag alone as to many of the press events and conventions, such as today’s D23 expo.
You had come with Tom to the reveal of the Infinity War trailer and people had loved it! All the fans had gone absolutely nuts when they saw it, and wanted to know even more about the upcoming movie.
Right now all the cast was being interviewed in pairs about the movie and their characters. You stepped away, trying to give Tom some space and deciding to gander around.
That was until you heard Tom’s name being called, followed by a series of laughs. As you turned around you realised it was Anthony and Seb, chatting with some interviewer.
“Hey Y/n come here!” Anthony called out for you as he turned around to the girl interviewing them “She will tell you how awful he is, after all; she has to deal with him on a daily basis. Can you imagine that?”
You laughed as you approached them, realising what this was about. They were, once again, roasting your boyfriend’s ass with the press.
It all started a couple.months back, when Anthony called Tom a little asshole, and his beef towards him had only increased ever since, dragging Seb along the way. It was pretty hilarious if they asked you.
“Y/n Seriously, how you do it? How can you stand him all day?”
“Well, why do you think I’m not with him right now? A girl needs her breaks”
The two actors laughed with you, deciding to have some more fun at Tom’s expense.
“Was he annoying you? Have you given him his juice box yet?” Seb asked, looking genuinely concerned, but still using his teasing voice.
“I’m not his nanny! If he wants a juice box he can get it on his own!” You said, trying to look serious and offended before continuing. “Besides that’s Harrison’s job”
This time Anthony, Seb and even the interviewer bursted out laughing at the mention of Tom’s “assistant”.
The interviewer decided to play along with your little teasing toward Tom, joining in the conversation.
“Y/n, you’ve been dating Tom for some time now; how you keep up with his little attitude problem and all the special requests he has?”
“Let me tell you it’s not an easy task, but honestly that why I keep Harrison around, he can keep track of his needs while I enjoy the benefits”
“So that’s it Y/n? You just going to let his best friend take care of his needs?”
“Well, not all his needs if you catch my drift, but any other stuff he can take care off.”
Anthony interrupted the conversation, trying to sound sarcastic about your last comment. He tried looking surprised as he raised both of his eyebrows and stared at the interviewers camera.
“I guess Spider-Boy is a real man now”
“He is, Anthony, but he still acts like a little boy”
“The weirdest thing is” Seb continued, as everyone’s attention focused back at him. “He has this weird personality swings! You can be with Tom the little boy sipping on his juice box, and next thing you know you’re with Thomas the old man who likes his tea without sugar!”
You laughed along saying. “He looks 15, acts like he is 8, but is secretly 64”
You were about to step out of the interview, but Anthony wasn’t done roasting Tom.
“Wait, he likes tea without Sugar?! as if this kid could be any more problematic!”
“Tell me about it” You said as you rolled your eyes, pretending to be annoyed. “ He is a big problem when cooking dinner. He has this weird diet going on and can only have certain stuff”
Seb laughed as he hugged you from besides while he said. “That’s kid is just a huge problem”
The interviewer had noticed how close you seemed to be with the cast, and decided to comment on it.
“I can feel like there is some strong friendship here! How did that happen?”
Anthony decided to answer on the question as he hugged you from the other side, making you look tiny between them both.
“Well, at first when she arrived to the sets we thought she was going to be a huge diva like her boyfriend, however when we finally talked to her she seemed like a pretty chill girl, right Seb?”
“Yeah, after we hanged out the three of us we decided to keep this kiddo around” He said as he ruffled your hair, with a friendly smile.
“Is that so Y/n?” said the interviewer, trying to get as much info as she could.
“Well, also our hatred for Tom brought us even closer.”
“Well, there you have it folks! An inside on what is working and living with Spiderman:Homecoming Star Tom Holland, by not other than Anthony Mackie, Sebastian Stan and Tom’s lovely girlfriend Y/n Y/ln.”
The interview finally ended, as the interviewer went back to her job and you were left with both boys. You kept on talking about random stuff until you noticed Tom approaching you.
“Oh no! The diva is back!”
Anthony laughed as Tom made a funny face at him, while grabbing your hand. You gave Tom a quick peck before you were interrupted again.
“Hey Thomas, you’ll never believe the great interview we just had! And Y/n joined us! But I guess you’ll just have to wait until later to see it”
Anthony had a devilish grin in his face as he stared at both of them. Seb was trying not to burst out laughing as he looked at Tom. The boy looked at the girl with a questioning and confused look, wondering what that was all about, however dropping it as they were called for pictures with the cast.
“Go Tom, I’ll wait for you over there alright?”
“You’re not getting away without telling me alright?”
Finally Tom turned around and went to join the whole cast for more pictures and interviews.
The rest of the day went by rapidly until it was the end of the day and you went back to the hotel with Tom.You got into your room, hoping to get a good night of sleep, however Tom was not letting things go by.
“Hey babe, what was that interview about?”
“Ummm? What interview?”
“The one Anthony just send me through twitter? The one he mentioned you joined”
You got a little preoccupied at the thought of Tom watching it. Sure, it had all been jokes, but you didn’t want him to get angry or fight about that stupid thing.
“We were just kidding Tom- You know Anthony, he started his beef and I- I might have joined them” You kept playing with your hair and glancing down, getting a little nervous at his reaction.
Tom noticed your behaviour as he seated down, holding you from behind. “I won’t get mad love, I know you were kidding.”
You let out a breath you didn’t knew you were holding before turning around and kissing him, before he pulled back and asked. “Well, can I see the interview?”
You sighed as you let out a nod and Tom pressed on the link. The title read “Anthony Mackie, Sebastian Stan and Y/n Y/ln trash talk new Marvel Star??. Honestly these sites did anything to get a couple of views.
The interview came up showing the beginning without you, until you finally joined and continued. You watched as Tom laughed at some of the comments, and made some faces at others. It was kind of cute actually.
He finally turned to face you as he raised his left eyebrow at you. Great, you could feel a comment coming your way
“Sooo, I’m a big problem uhh?”
He got close to your face, almost brushing his lips next to yours. His eyes had gotten dark and was staring at you with a hungry look as he moved his hands to your legs, gently stroking them. You decided to tease him a little bit as you looked innocently at him, grabbing him by his neck.
“You can be very problematic”
“I’ll show you how problematic I can really be”
Tom finally closed his eyes and kissed you hard, as he pressed you against the couch. He grabbed your legs and lifted you with him, taking you to the bed and dropping you in it, as he got above yo and removed his shirt, kissing you once again.
Yep. Being Tom Holland’s girlfriend wasn’t easy, but hey, someone had to do it.
request:“Hey I loved your Tom smut I was wondering if you would write something
where the reader accidentally calls him Peter during sex and is super
embarrassed but he’s kind of into it” (requested by anon)
short summary: ^^
length: 1.3k words (sorry it’s kinda shorter than i envisioned tbh :/)
warnings: none it’s p straightforward
A/N: i’m ngl i laughed as I was writing this like this whole concept just busts my chops lol enjoy (also i kept listening to what’s my name as i wrote this hah shoutout to rihanna my queen)
The time that you’d been spending with Tom in New York was everything you dreamed of and more. Having never been to the city before, it was quite the adventure and you were always happy to be with your boyfriend before one of you had to jet off for work or school.
Pairing: Steve Rogers x Reader Rating: Mature Summary: Reader is bored and wants to cure it by distracting her boyfriend. Word Count: 1.4k Genre: Mild smut Warnings: long steamy make out session and it also involves some slight dry humping.
Gifs used below aren’t mine,
credit to the rightful owners.
Stepping inside the shared living room of the building, determined to cure your boredom, you spotted your boyfriend sitting on a couch and reading some reports of the last assignment.
Glenn Miller’s soft music - Steve’s favorite - filled the room and relaxed the ambient air while the rest of the Avengers was minding their own business outside the facility and- therefore had left you both. All alone with Steve Rogers.
Walking over the super soldier, you sneaked behind the couch, landing your hands on his shoulders and you massaged the tightness of his muscles, earning some satisfying groans.
Happy Smut Saturday! Oh my god, I’m going to keep this thing going. Of course, I will post smut on any given day, but I will save the smuttiest of smut for Saturday nights. I hope you enjoy this very kinky and very smutty oneshot. I thought I’d give Steve some love, since he’s been lacking attention on my feed lately. God bless all your souls after this, you might need some holy water. xoxo
Description:Everyone thinks Steve is this sweet and gentlemanly guy that goes by his morals and honor. That is true. But, obviously, they aren’t intimate with him like you are. As his girlfriend, you can confidently say that he is no gentleman in the bedroom.
Warnings: SMUT. DADDY KINK. ROPE BUNNY. (or would it be belt bunny?) ANYWAYS IT’S LITERALLY ALL SMUT. Oh, and cursing, along with unprotected sex (be careful out there)
“You got lucky, F/N. Steve’s a true gentleman. You honestly can’t find guys like that anymore. They’re all dick bags.” Natasha rolled her eyes.
“Maybe it’s because he’s been preserved for seventy years?” You chuckled, shaking you head slightly.
“That’s true. I wish there were more guys like him to pull out of the ice, so I can have one of my own.” You burst out laughing at what she said, and both of you were about to be rolling on the floor, dying of laughter. Your stomach was beginning to ache, when Steve walked in.
“Speak of the devil.” Natasha was holding back a laugh, trying to catch her breath. You got up and met him at the door and pressed your hands against his chest, placing a sweet kiss on his lips.
“What’s all the commotion about?” He was leaning against the threshold of the door, a smirk on his face.
“It’s nothing you need to worry about, babe.” You almost started giggling, but forced it down. “Natasha, we should get going. I’ll see you later.”
“Alright, you lovebirds. I’ll see you guys later.” She was smirking. You just shook your head at her and waved goodbye, intertwining your hand with Steve’s. It wasn’t a long walk back to your room, it was literally down the hall from her’s. You and Steve shared a room, Tony finally allowing it after two years of dating.
He opened the door for you, letting you walk in before him. He really was a gentleman, at least in public. But, when that bedroom door closed, he was anything but that. You plopped yourself on the bed, exhausted from the day.
“So, what were you guys talking about?” Steve’s curiosity was peeking through his usually strong, and “know all” demeanor.
“Natasha was just talking about how I was lucky to have such gentleman for a boyfriend.” You were staring up at the ceiling, laying on your back. You got up on your elbows so you were looking at him. “But, I think we both know that’s not true.” You winked at him, earning a lust filled smirk in return.
You blinked at the sudden red hue that had overtaken a certain prince’s face. When he didn’t answer, merely mouthing at you, lost for words, you knew something was wrong. Legolas was ever so elegant, annoyingly so at most times, and you had never seen him speechless.
“What?” you repeated, frowning. You bit your lip, trying to think back on all the things you did in the past five minutes that could possibly have produced this reaction.
Even the female elves - ellith you think they were called, you weren’t too educated in elf names and terms - began giggling into their hands. You turned to look at them but the moment you did they appeared to be off in their own worlds again, chatting to each other in their own beautiful language that flew over your head, as if they hadn’t been listening at all. When you turned back to Legolas their giggles reached your ears again.
Irritating bunch of ingrates.
“I’m not going to ask you forever,” You said, tapping your foot angrily. This seemed to shock Legolas out of his paralysis.
He cleared his throat, eyes landing everywhere but your form before he gathered himself.
“Y/N?” He said, and he was still flustered, but back to normal. “Did you…braid flowers into my hair?”
You tilted your head.
“I did,” you pursed your lips, still confused. What was the big deal? “You were so concentrated in whatever meditation you were doing I got bored. You can literally sit there “in tune with nature” for hours Legolas.”
“I didn’t notice.”
“I don’t think you would have noticed if I was banging a drum in your face.”
Whatever he had been doing had been some deep judo level crap because he had completely blanked out. “Dude, its okay. You can even braid mine if you want, its not that deep.”
If it was possible, his face grew a darker shade before he shook it away.
“Anyway,” he deadpanned, shooting you an un-amused look. “Were you…aware of the implications?”
An elleth giggled again - many ellith, singular elleth, so confusing - louder this time, and you swear you could have thrown up.
“Implications?” You repeated slowly. “What? Is there an ancient elf ritual I did that I didn’t know about?” You gasped dramatically, hand over your heart. “Did I condemn you to death?”
Legolas crossed his arms over his chest, a smile blooming on his face that was normal but promised unseen trouble. You blanched. You’d seen this expression before.
You laughed nervously. “Uh-”
“Its alright,” His smile grew, and with it your anxiety. “You are but a mere mortal of man, you wouldn’t have known.”
“What did I do, Legolas? Just spit it out.”
He tucked a strand of blonde hair behind his ear, blue eyes twinkling. “We elves have a custom of proposing courtship by braiding flowers into each others’ hair.”
It took you a while for it to sink in. “What.”
You felt your cheeks heat when he leaned forward, and that strong smell of pine trees, fresh berries and potent mint leaves filled your senses.
“In other words, Y/N, you just asked me to marry you.”
A pin could have dropped and made a crashing noise with how silent it got in the field.
He just smiled innocently. “Not only that, but you suggested I braid your hair as well. You seem rather eager for this to occur, but I am afraid I have a preference of courting or, how is it you men say, ‘dating’, before saying vows.”
“I don’t-I-you-” You couldn’t breathe, and you felt the karma of your earlier teasing of him hit you right in the face when he picked up the pouch you had dropped, replacing it in your grasp.
“Its alright, please do not scramble for words,” He offered kindly - the demon - when you could only stare at him. “I know this must be a bit to take in, but please let me at least me think about your proposal before you address me with such lewd eyes.”
You broke your stare immediately, aghast and embarrassed.
“You little!” You grabbed at him but he was already gone and past you in a blink, evading your actions as easily as a person an ant.
“Have a good afternoon, Y/N.”
Your mouth flopped like a fish as you watched him jump into the trees at the end of the clearing, wisps of long blonde hair the last thing you saw before he was jumping from branch to branch like a nymph.
You muttered curses under your breath, ripping away at the flowers you still had in your hand, watching them tear to shreds.
You were interrupted only when an elleth brushed by you gracefully, a serene smile on her beautiful face, yet playful.
Can I Be Her || Tom Holland Oneshot (Alternate Ending)
Request: Anonymous asked: Can I please get an imagine where the reader is best friends with Tom and Harrison but loves Tom. The reader is witnessing Tom fall in love with Zendaya and tries to forget about Tom but can’t. In the end, Tom ends up having a serious relationship with Zendaya and Tom and the reader fall apart. You can decide the end but I want it to be a sad ending. I’m sorry if it’s complicated or just plain stupid. Thank you.
Warnings: Sad, happy ending!
Word Count: 1,655
Pairing: Tom Holland x Reader
A/N: Enjoy! Only difference is the ending lol. This is not part two by the way!
You didn’t think this would happen. You were falling for Tom, hard. At first you thought nothing of it, but once you got to know him, the real him, you were in a trance. You developed a love for Tom, it was completely indescribable. You never told anyone, not even Harrison, knowing he’d never keep his mouth shut. He’d spill everything to Tom, and you couldn’t bare let your affection for him to get in the way of your friendship.
“Bucky had never been held responsible for what he’d done, but you, oh god, everything that had happened had been your fault, and Bucky knew it too.”
Word Count: 1677 Warnings:a lot of self-doubt, injury, angst
It’s dark. And cold. And wet.
In the distance you can hear the rush of cars, tires splashing in puddles formed by the rain. They sound so, so far away.
You’re vaguely aware of the blood dripping down the back of your neck, and spilling out your lips and coating your fingers and smeared across your face and– there’s so much blood. You choke back a sob.
You have to get out of here. You have to get out of here and get back to the tower before anyone notices you’re missing because you can’t let anyone see you like this. You’re supposed to be strong like the rest of them, to be able to fight like the rest of them and defend yourself and not get into situations like this and the only thing running through your head right now is the fact that you might even die and everyone’s going look at you like some sort of failure.
(The one person you genuinely cared about already does, anyway.)
You place your hands on the ground under you, trying to push yourself up off the ground, but a sharp, snapping pain runs up your arm, as if the bone’s splitting, and you fall, letting out a gasp of pain as your chest hits the ground. There are tears welling in your eyes, both of frustration and the immense pain your body is in, and you lie with your cheek against the wet pavement in the middle of some back alley.
How are you going to get back and pretend like nothing happened when you can’t even fucking get up? You want to scream, but even your voice is hoarse from begging them to stop as you endured hit after hit.
You think back to a few hours ago, to how Bucky had been avoiding you all day and when you’d finally confronted him about it he’d yelled at you for not being able to do one job you had – to save the two kids in the fucking building on the one mission they’d taken you to. He’d yelled and you’d yelled and maybe he’d let it slip that he thought you were a failure, and then you’d gotten angry and stormed out to a bar to get drunk. But he’d been right. The fact of the matter is that you are a failure, and now you can’t even prove yourself otherwise.
A painful sob wracks your body as your hands reach into your pocket, pulling out your phone. There are missed calls that you barely notice, fingers fumbling and tears blurring your eyes. It takes four attempts to call Steve, your hands wet and sticky because of the blood. As it rings, you can feel your heart constrict in your chest. What are they going to think of you? Weak? Pathetic?
Words flit through your head, as the phone rings. And rings. And rings.
“Hi, you’ve reached Steve Rogers–”
You hang up, then try again.
With each time it reaches voicemail, you cry harder. You can’t blame him – it’s four in the fucking morning and the mission was exhausting, so everyone’s probably turned their phone on silent and for the first time in days is getting some proper rest.
You try Nat next, then Sam, then Clint, then even Tony, but nobody picks up.
There’s one last name left on the list of people that’ll probably answer at four a.m. You hesitate, fingers hovering over his name, knowing his reaction if he picks up.
You press call. Your heart pounds against your chest and your blood rushes through your ears and your eyes feel kind of heavy. You can’t breathe. You can’t breathe.
As you gasp for air the phone rings. And rings. And rings. And ri–
Hearing his tired voice croak your name is like turning a switch, because suddenly there is air in your lungs and you can breathe again.
Until, “What the fuck do you want?”
Heaving in a gulp of air, you opened your mouth to speak, but before you can even get a word out, he continues.
“It’s four in the fuckin’ mornin’, an’ the few of us who worked hard on the mission are pretty damn tired.”
You feel the intended jab of his words, and shut your mouth, breathing heavily through your nose as the blood flow stems and begins to crust on your face. The tears well up in your eyes again. You know you shouldn’t have called him, that he was still mad at you and he would probably never forgive you for what you had done, because even as the Winter Soldier he’d never have hurt let an innocent child get hurt. But you’d let it happen, right in front of him, with full control over your actions. Bucky had never been held responsible for what he’d done, but you, oh god, everything that had happened had been your fault, and Bucky knew it too.
“Are you going to speak?” He prompts, an edge in his voice laced with annoyance.
There’s shuffling on the other end of the phone, before you hear a faint, feminine voice. “Bucky baby, come back to bed.” You don’t know who it is, and that makes it so much worse because you know he only picks up random girls when he’s stressed out, and the cause of stress is you, you know as much.
You’re trying to speak but you can’t find the words. Your head hurts and the pain is finally starting to catch up, ebbing away at the adrenaline that had been coursing through your body.
“I’m sorry – it's– it’s, I just –” But you don’t know what to say. Something’s clawing at the inside of your throat, like nails raking down your vocal chords and making it hard to speak. The only thing you can do is cry.
“I’m sorry,” you’re screeching, heaving in breaths of air any chance you can get. “Nobody else picked up – I – I didn’t know – I didn’t know who else to call.”
There’s silence on the other end of the phone. Or maybe you can’t hear Bucky speaking. You can’t hear anything over the sound of your sobs, disappearing behind the heavy patter of the rain.
“Y/N? Y/N!” His voice seems so far away, it almost sounds concerned. “Y/N, what happened?”
“He said he knew! He said he knew more about– that he could tell me– I’m sorry. I trusted him. I shouldn’t have. I’m sorry. I’m sorry!”
“Shit.” There’s shuffling on the other end, then a quieter, “I gotta go, Babe.” Your heart clenches and the only thing that manages to leave your mouth is a string of apologies.
“Where are you?”
“I don’t know– I don’t know!” There’s a level of hysteria in your voice, and he can probably hear it too. He’s saying other stuff in a calmer voice, something about breathing and looking around but you can’t hear him over the sound of the blood rushing through your ears and the constant thought of you being an absolute failure swimming through your head.
“– okay?” You take gulps of air through your mouth, trying to subside the sobs resonating through your chest as you tune back into his voice. “Just breathe, Y/N. Look around and tell me what you see.”
“It’s dark, and there’s- there's–” You look around frantically, trying to find something, trying to see something, but it’s so dark and all you know is that you’re in some back alley and God, your lungs feel like they’re on fire but you can’t figure out how to get air down your throat. “An alley,” you gasp out. “Behind the bar. I’m behind the bar–”
And you break off into sobs again, praying to someone, anyone, that Bucky can understand you through the thickness of your voice and the croaking of your throat.
“Okay. Okay. Y/N? I’ll be there in ten, okay? Just give me ten minutes.”
You manage to scrape an “okay” up your throat without throwing up from the crying and the screaming. Bucky says something about hanging up, and suddenly your voice is making your ears bleed again. “No! No! Please, Bucky, stay on the line. Please.”
And then he’s saying something and you’re not sure what, because you can’t focus on anything anymore. You don’t know how long you sit there, leaning against the cold brick wall, soaking wet with a puddle of red tinged water surrounding you, chilling to the bone. Maybe it’s really ten minutes, maybe it’s a few hours, you can’t tell, but there’s nothing more warming than the sound of Bucky’s voice calling out your name, this time closer to you than through the phone.
“Y/N?” His voice resonates through the small alley, and you’re slightly more awake for a moment as a flashlight shines directly into your eyes, then down the rest of you.
“Hey, hey, Y/N.” You feel his hands, warm and soft and tender, on your cheek, slapping lightly to grab your attention. Your eyes are unfocused, you can barely make out his face through the tears and the haze grabbing at the edges of your vision.
An arm goes under your knees and your start screaming again, pain and fear coursing through every vein in your body. Someone’s saying something, your name and something else, and it’s calm and reassuring but all you can focus on is how much it hurts. You’re hoisted into the air and this time the scream doesn’t even make it past your lips, catching in your throat as the pain peaks into a numbness spreading to your toes.
“–wake! Y/N, hey, keep your eyes on me, okay?” But your eyes are challenging his voice, daring to shut for longer periods of time with each blink.
There’s a deep, ocean blue staring down at you when you do open your eyes, laced with disappointment and screaming the same word over and over at you.
You and Peter have been friends since diapers, you were there for him when his parents died and he moved across the hall from you, he was there for you when your mom died from cancer.
You both made a pack that you would always have each other no matter what, but right now in this moment it felt like peter had abandoned you.
You were at Liz’s party, the music loud and Peter trying his best to get Liz’s attention while you were being harassed by drunk teenage boys.
“Come on it won’t hurt I just wanna touch em.” That’s it you thought that’s he line, “Peter please let’s go.” You yelled your plea over the loud music Flash was DJing.
“Y/N come on I’ve only gotten to talk to Liz once.” Peter spoke without making even a glance your way. You finally got the strength and pushed your way out of the small amount of guys trying to not just harass you but sexually harass you and if Peter isn’t going to help then I just have to help myself, as soon as you were out of the small circle you felt a hand slap your butt and with instinct you turned around as slapped the guy who touched you.
The sound of the slap echoing around with the music which finally grabbed the attention of your so called best friend, Peter. His eyes widened at the scene before him. A hand print on some guys face and tears threatening to spill out of your eyes.
You connected your eyes with his for a split second before turning on your heels to go and find Ned to walk home with.
You had hoped that maybe Peter would run after you, stop you and talk to you about what happened but when you turned around to see if he would follow you saw him get stopped by Liz and not make any other effort to try and get to you.
You huffed and turn back around to continue your search for Ned, you were leaving with or without Peter.
You finally found Ned in the kitchen awkwardly staring at the bowl of chips set out next to the wine coolers, “Hey Ned you okay?” Ned jumps slightly making you let out a small laugh.
“Hey yeah sorry, what’s up? Where’s Peter?” Ned asked his scanning for Peter around you “he’s off with uhh well you should know..” you shrugged “but I really wanna leave and Peter won’t listen to me so do you you could walk me home?” Your pleading eyes catching Ned’s.
“Alright, let’s go.” Ned sighed taking the lead toward the front door of Liz’s house.
You brush past Liz and Peter trying to make yourself unnoticeable, which shouldn’t be hard to do since Peter only ever has eyes for Liz, But a hand catches your arm before your out of the living room.
“Hey Y/N, where are you going?” You rake your eyes up the hand and arm that caught you only to be greeted by the brown orbs you were trying to avoid.
“I’m leaving and Ned is taking me home.” You huff pulling your arm from Peters hand and catch a glimpse of hurt in his eyes before turning and continuing your trek out of the large house.
“There you are.” Ned released a breath as you stepped onto the front porch.
“Yeah sorry, Peter stopped me…” You let out a shaky breath before continuing “Shall we go?” You smile over at Ned. “Sure.” He smiles back stepping off the porch with you right behind him. You slip you hands into the small pockets on your jeans. “Hey Ned, could we just go to yours?” Ned laughs lightly, nodding his head fro your answer.
“Thanks.” you sigh, seeing your breath come out into the air in a small puff cloud.
Ned and you have been walking for about 10 minuets which meant that you were almost to Ned’s place. You only asked to go to his because you knew you would have to call your dad to come pick you up from a party which you weren’t even suppose to be at in the beginning but peter had talked you into it. Now that you were thinking about it Peter did that a lot, convinced you to go out and ‘hangout’ as he put it but you saw through the lie, whenever you two would hang out it would be somewhere with Liz.
You felt your chest start to throb and hurt thinking about how much Peter liked Liz and not you, she hardly ever gives him a sideways glance when I’m always going out of my way just for him, why can’t he see that. You puff seeing your breath come out again. It’s getting colder and you didn’t have a coat.
“Hey Ned do you have a jacket at your house i could wear?” you speak up, “Uh yeah, we’ll be there in like ten minuets.” Ned replied looking over his shoulder slightly at you.
You saw figure appear out of an ally next to the pathway to Ned’s place. A nervous feeling surged through your body telling you not to move further but you didn’t listen, instead you followed Ned across the street, he must’ve gotten the same feeling.
As soon as the two of you passed by the figure and the ally the feeling subsided and the feeling relief replaced it. But that didn’t last long when you felt a hand grab your midsection and another hand slap over your mouth. You tried to scream but it was only muffed by the large hand covering your face. Ned snapped his body back to see what had happened and his eyes widened at the scene.
“Give me all your money kid and she doesn’t get hurt.” The figure spat at Ned which sparked him to search through all his pockets, scavenging what looked to be just a dollar, “Come on kid, you gotta have more than that, what about your wallet.” The man spat again at Ned, his grip tightening around your waist. You felt tears roll down your face and your life flashing before your eyes. What-what if Ned doesn’t have what he wants and he kidnaps me, or .. kills me. Your mind flips to the worst situation that could happened causing more tears to fall and screams to come out of your muffled mouth. “Shut it.” the man hissed in your ear making you crawl in your skin.
“Come on kid hurry u-” the grip around your waist vanishes along with the hand around your face, “Didn’t anyone tell you, stealing lunch money is sooo last season.” You whip your head around to see who saved you and your friend.
You freeze seeing the familiar red and blue suit of the local hero, spider-man. He shoots a web at the guy trapping both his hands on the pavement and one more at the guys mouth silencing his words. “Thank you Mr. Spider-man!” Ned practically shouted with a smile bigger than the sun on his face. How could Ned smile after a situation like that? “It-” the hero coughed, “it’s nothing, are you two alright?” his voice lowered slightly as his head switched looking from Ned to you.
You couldn’t do anything, you’re still frozen, no words able to come out so all you did was nod as the last of your tears fell from you face. “Hey, hey your okay now.” Spider-man began walking toward you with his arms open ready to hug you, and you accepted the hug needing some kind of comfort at the moment and the guy you really wanted here to be with you wasn’t so a superhero was a pretty good substitute.
You were the first to pull away from he hug and wipe your tears off your face with the back of your hand, “would you like me to walk you guys home?” the hero spoke taking a small step back from you.
“I’m good spider-man but Y/N here lives a bit away, do you think you could walk her?” Ned asked from the side of you. Your head snapped over to Ned direction than back to looking at the masked hero in front of you, “You really don’t have to, I can just call my-” you were interrupted by spider-man “Oh not its no big deal, plus you need to stay safe and no where is safer than with a hero.” he said proudly putting his hands on his hips. you felt a small smile creep onto your face and agreed to let him walk you home.
“Good night Ned, please be safe.” You waved to your friend who contained walking to his house. “So where do you live?” your eyes glanced up at the heres mask, specifically where his eyes should be, “uhh right off of park avenue.” You practically whispered tearing your eyes away from his mask and began walking home with spider-man.
As soon as you reached your apartment building you thanked your masked hero and took the stairs to the floor your apartment was on.
You fished your keys out of your pocket and opened the door. “There you are!” your dada practically ran you over as you came in the door, “Where were you young lady.” you smiled, tears threatening to spill out of your eyes because you loved your dad so much and what happened just a little while ago made you realize just how much you needed to show him how much you loved him, “I was with Peter and Ned, we went to grab some food and then a movie.” you spoke walking to your room, yes you loved your dad and you had a life changing experience but you can’t let him know what happened, he would be furious and worry about you non-stop. You didnt want to add to his already full plate.
As soon as you were in your room you changed into your pajamas and slid into your bed, under the covers and tried your best to get to sleep.
“Hey!” the familiar face of Peter’s comes into your view “Hey.” You sigh shutting your locker and make your way to your first class of the day.
“Whoa whoa wait Y/N!” Peter shouted grabbing your arm so you would stop, “What’s wrong?” you could hear the confused sadness in his voice, you didn’t dare turn around because you would fall back into his trap of doing what he wants and him forgetting you even exist because Liz is in the same room. “Nothing, Peter I’ll talk to you later.” You pull your arm away from his grip and continue to your class.
Lunch finally rolls around and you can’t be more happy to just go to the library to relax from the world and eat your food in private while shoving your nose in a book. But as soon as you reach the clear see through doors of the library you see Peter sitting at the table you normally find yourself at.
You catch his eyes and instantly regret ever coming to the library in the first place because he gets up out of his chair and starts toward your direction. You can feel the panic rise in your stomach and instead of being the mature person and talking to Peter, you turn on your heel ad head in the direction back to the lunch room.
“Y/N!” you hear Peter yell as the library doors slam close. your feet begin to pick up speed as you see the lunch room entrance and frantically look for Michelle, you spot her at the corner of the lunch room with a book in one hand and an apple in the other. You head to her table, set your stuff down and practically slam your head on the table.
“Tell me when he’s gone, ok?” you speak just loud enough for Michelle to hear.
“He’s headed over here.” Michelle spoke in her monotone voice while she put her book down on the table, “Whats going on?” you lifted your head from the table to be greeted by Peters worried looking face. “You said you’d talk to me later and its later so what is going on?” you slowly turned your head to look at Michelle for some help but only saw her pack up her things and grab her lunch tray before leaving, “Thanks MJ!” you sarcastically shouted as she walked away with a small wave.
a sigh escaped Peters mouth causing you to put your focus back on the distressed boy, you couldn’t help the guilt that rose in your throat because of how bad you were treating Peter.
“Listen Peter-” you didnt get to finish as peter interrupted you “Is this about last night? I’m sorry i wanted to talk to Liz, it was my chance and i decided to take it.” Peter grabbed your hand, squeezing git slightly “You understand right?” you were disgusted by the smile that graced his face. “No Peter it’s not only about last night but overtime we fucking 'hangout’ we always seem to go where ever Liz and then you forgot that I’m even there god dammit.” you couldn’t help your voice raising a little bit, you were mad, mad that the guy liked was sitting across from you treating you like he didnt even see it. “wha- no i wasn’t-” this time you cut him off, pulling your hand away from his.
“No Peter, I’m not done..” you sucked in a deep breath before continuing “did you know last night was getting harassed by a group of guys? I called you and asked for help but all you could think about was Liz and-and when i finally got the courage to stand up for them and leave asking you to leave with me you didnt, you-you-you got distracted by Liz, fucking Liz so i went to find Ned..” you let out a shaky breath, trying to control your emotions and actions.
“And when Ned and I were walking back to his house we got jumped Peter, we got jumped Peter Parker!” you practically were shouting by now with tears threatening to spill from your eyes “And all i could think in that moment was that I was going to be kidnaped or killed and you weren’t with me…you-you weren’t with me, you were with Liz.”
you tear your eyes away from Peters, everything getting too intense for you. “Ned and I got saved from Spider-man, Peter.” By this point tears were falling from your eyes as you furiously wipe them away. “So Last night i decided..” you pause taking in another breath before continuing “I decided that I can’t do this anymore. I’m in too deep and i don’t , no I can’t bare being hurt by you anymore Peter, so goodbye.”
you stand from the lunch table leaving your tray of food and the broken heart of Peter Parker behind. You look back one last time as you leave the lunch room, seeing Peter already staring at you with tears spilling down his face.
“This is better for both of us, I promise.” You whisper more to yourself than anyone else. You were done with being hurt.
You’re playing by your rules now and rule 1 is Peter Parker is out of your life because if you let him back in you’ll be stuck in an endless loop of pain.