periodic table puns

chemistry worksheet today

-Iron $100 a week at my job.

-After dark, the enemy would stage a radon the encampment.

-The resort manager said, “Arsenic view is magnificent.”

-These pencils sulfur 10 cents a piece.

-If you throw a stone in the water, it will zinc.

-“What should we do with the treasure chests?” “Barium.”

-There used to be several papers on the desk, but now I see xenon.

-The number after nine is tin.

-I feel sad in the fall when all the flowers argon.

-After I bumped my neon the car door, I could barely walk.

-“You’ll never catch me alive, copper!” shouted the gangster.

  • Max: Favorite swear? ๐Ÿคญ
  • David: Favorite tree and/or flower? ๐ŸŒฒ
  • Gwen: What’s a super unique feature about you? ๐Ÿ‘€
  • Nikki: Favorite adventure you’ve been on? ๐Ÿ”
  • Neil: Favorite periodic table/science pun? ๐Ÿ”ฌ
  • Preston: Favorite musical and/or play? ๐ŸŽญ
  • Harrison: Special/weird talents? ๐ŸŽ‰
  • Nerris: If you could be any mythical creature what would you be and why? ๐Ÿง๐Ÿพ‍โ™€๏ธ
  • Space kid: Favorite planet? (Pluto counts bc it’s still a plant in my heart) ๐Ÿ”ญ
  • Dolph: (basic but) If you could dine with any historical figure who would it be? ๐Ÿ•’
  • Ered: Favorite and least Favorite sport? ๐Ÿ…
  • Nurf: What makes you mad? ๐Ÿ˜ก
  • Jasper: Favorite horror movie? ๐Ÿ‘ป
  • Cameron Campbell: If you could be someone rich an famous who would you be? ๐Ÿ’ฐ
  • Mr.Honeynuts: Favorite toy as a kid? ๐Ÿป
  • Sasha: Who is your icon? ๐Ÿ‘ธ
  • Erin: Hidden passion? ๐Ÿคซ
  • Tabii: Craziest thing you did to get your crushes attention? ๐Ÿ˜˜
  • Pikeman: Most ridiculous crush? (Can include fictional characters) ๐Ÿ˜
  • Snake: What is something that you always need with you or by your side? ๐Ÿ’ผ
  • Petrol: What’s you type? (Ie strong and silent, funny and cute etc) ๐Ÿคฉ
  • Jermy fartz: If someone showed up to a date with you, what would make you say no off the bat? ๐Ÿ˜ท
  • The Millers: Ideal date? ๐Ÿ’—
  • Muack: Dream pet? No matter how wild. ๐Ÿพ
  • Quatermaster: One place you just don’t want to be? ๐Ÿ˜‘
  • Daniel: Favorite and least Favorite drink? ๐Ÿน
  • Jen: Favorite and least favorite style trend? ๐Ÿ‘ 

thisisthelifeofafangirl  asked:

Today is National Periodic Table day, and if you think Peter Parker wouldn’t wear a “iron” man shirt all day and make periodic table puns all day....you’re wrong.

OMG YOU ARE ABSOLUTELY RIGHT!!

Tony didn’t keep up with pretend holidays. So sue him. He barely kept track of the real ones. So he was a little confused when, on their usual lab day, Peter came bounding in, all messy curls and toothy grins, wearing a red t-shirt with the words “Fe Man” on it in gold. “Fe man…” He mumbled to himself, then rolled his eyes, a reluctant smile turning his lips as Peter plopped down in his usual spot.

The fact that this kid had a usual spot was both a little strange and, more than anything, heartwarming. The boy was practically vibrating as he stared at Tony, huge brown eyes watching and waiting. Tony decided to let him sweat, going back to his own work with a shrug, turning the screwdriver only three times before the words came bursting out of the kid’s mouth. “Get it! Mr. Stark…it’s Iron Man!”

Tony let himself snort, shaking his head. “I got it, kid. Believe it or not, I’ve seen my own merchandise before.” Peter sighed a little, and Tony glanced over to make sure he hadn’t hurt his feelings or anything…a mopey Spider-Kid was significantly more annoying than a hyper one. But the kid was grinning down at his notebook.

“Hey, Mr. Stark?” Peter blurted again, and Tony once more kept his eyes on his work, humming instead of answering. “What do you do with a dead chemist?”

Tony lifted an eyebrow. “You got something you need to tell me, kid? Spider-Man going rogue?”

“You barium!” The boy cried, grinning practically from ear to ear. Tony rolled his eyes again, but Peter was on a roll. “Oh, so, a neutron walks into a bar and asks ‘how much for a drink’ and…”

“You know that neutrons are incapable of speech…” Tony started to interject, but the boy continued on, giggling as he spoke, and Tony had to fight the full-on smile that threatened to erupt at the sound.

“And the bartender says, “For you, no charge!” Tony just stared at him as Peter laughed at his own joke. “You get it? Because neutrons don’t have….”

“Oh no…I got it, kid. What I don’t get is what you took before coming down here.”

“Do you know how often I tell jokes about chemistry?”

Tony sighed, turning in his chair once more and picking up his discarded screwdriver. “Normally or in the last five minutes?” Peter giggled, and Tony’s heart seemed to hum happily in his chest.

“Only periodically.”

Tony groaned, throwing his head back, and the boy put a hand over his mouth to contain the laughter. The man couldn’t help it then…he smiled up at his ceiling, wondering when exactly this had become his life…and when he’d come to love it so much. “It’s National Periodic Table Day.” Peter explained then, wiping his eyes a little as the laughter subsided.

“So you torture me with bad jokes?” He asked with a dry grin that set Peter off to laughing again. “Well, I guess I could tell you a chemistry joke, but all the good ones Argon.”

The delighted look that lit up his kid’s face was all the motivation he needed, and he chucked the screwdriver at the boy, not at all surprised when he caught it. “Alright then, let’s go,”

“What?” Peter asked, still smiling.

“You can’t expect us to work on National Periodic Table Day kid. Let’s go get some ice cream instead.” And, lifting his arm, he wrapped it around the boy that launched himself to Tony’s side, squeezing him before guiding him over to the elevator. “Hey, where did you get that shirt? I’ve got a board meeting tomorrow and nothing to wear.”