performance standard

I started thinking about the beauty procedures and products that had seemed normal to me growing up - padded bras, control tights, anti-wrinkle this and that, fake tan, make-up, shaving. Every time my friends and I bought these products we received a free gift at no extra cost: insecurity. We learned that without fake tan our skin was the wrong colour, without padding our breasts were the wrong size, without shaving our legs were unfeminine and without control tights our tummies were too big. We learned, in short, that our bodies needed fixing. 

- Emer O’Toole, Girls Will Be Girls

re: artists working themselves to death and why the HECK is this the standard

the entire thing about the death of an animator in japan due to overwork is exactly why i am completing chapter 1 of 1989nk in months, not weeks.

this has been one of my biggest fears getting this project off the ground. the standard for work output by artists is set so fucking high nowadays. we’re ALL expected to perform at the level of the outlier. (This was apparent to me as early as in Art School, when we were all treated like we were absolutely fucking useless for not being able to do an entire 5 minute 3D animated film all by ourselves like that one guy in our program.) Artists who overwork themselves and overachieve (whether by perceived necessity or choice) unfortunately create an illusion to consumers and employers that their level of performance should be the standard. It creates a nasty cycle, because more artists start trying to adhere to that standard and it gets passed on and on and on.

i’m honestly fully expecting my deadline for chapter one to be too long of a wait for some people. “This other artist got their 30-40 page comic done in 6-8 weeks, why is yours going to take 6-8 months?”

listen, its because i don’t want to not be able to draw for the rest of my life at 30. I dont want to destroy my wrist and make myself ill and make the quality of the comic suffer because i have to live up to the vicious overwork cycle that’s completely blanketed the digital art/media/comics scene. If another artist takes only a few weeks to do their comic? Fine, but you know, theyre most likely suffering BADLY for it, and even THEY shouldn’t have to do that. They really, really shouldn’t. Overwork and over achievement frankly needs to stop being praised and heralded, because its not only extremely damaging to the artist themselves, but it also creates that cycle i mentioned.

Trying to keep up with the immense production quantity and speed that other artists seem to be doing has never, ever been possible for me and I’ve occasionally tried, only to seriously break myself. Even the amount of work I do is considered a lot by some, so then how is it that to me, it always feels like chicken scratch? It feels like i’m STILL not doing enough, ever. Even with the amount of work I do, I still feel like a lazy sack of shit and feel crippling guilt when I’m taking a break to do anything else but draw. I constantly feel like I’m losing the race. That isn’t right. That isn’t fair.

i just really, really hope that people don’t see my production time for 1989nk and go “that’s too long, artists don’t take THAT long to do work” because. well. honestly, they should.

101 litre of tears

In regards to Kwon Hyunbin’s attitude on produce 101 during the team performance practices, I personally feel that Hyunbin is being misunderstood due to what mnet has purposefully edited and shown to its viewers. I’m sharing my personal views about this because this can be the difference between being eliminated and debuting. 

During the Pick Me practice we were able to see how hardworking Hyunbin was, he practiced the dance together with other fellow trainees and its obvious how much Hyunbin is lacking in his dance skills, as he was unable to learn the dance choreography up to speed and has missed certain moves. However Hyunbin is very honest and very aware of how much he is lacking, it is clear that he makes up for his lack of skill with devotion and hard work. 

I understand that Hyunbin is lacking in skills and experience in comparison to the other trainees however that doesn’t mean he’s completely lacking in will, commitment and hard work. It is extremely obvious how hardworking he is, however due to his lack of experience in training Hyunbin is not a fast learner and thus requires more time than others to fully familiarise himself with the routine. Hyunbin practised until late and even practiced the song in bed before sleeping and we could all see he practically fell asleep while holding his lyrics sheet. 

During Hyunbin’s personal evaluation recording unfortunately he blanked out due to nervousness and anxiety which unfortunately cost him the opportunity to move up in rank. I personally believe that this particular stumble really affected Hyunbin because he genuinely thought he would have been able to show the trainers and viewers how much he has improved. Hyunbin’s mentality and confidence significantly dropped following his failure to move up in the grade rank evaluation.

Hyunbin’s hard work and efforts are strongly acknowledged amongst the fellow trainees and they all share kind words of encouragement to Hyunbin. They sympathise with him even more us they saw very clearly how hard he trained and it is extremely unfortunate that nervousness and anxiety took over him, preventing him from showcasing what he had practised for. 

From very early on we as viewers were shown Hyunbin’s true personality, we see clearly he is just as hardworking and devoted as any A B C D or F ranking trainee, however it is unfortunate that Mnet had decided to depict Hyunbin very differently and negatively during the recent Team Performance practice, in episode 4. I was rather unimpressed with Mnet’s choice to focus solely on Hyunbin’s struggles, I would have much rather enjoyed seeing how Jonghyun lead the group and the groups vocal practices, especially since their vocalist Kim Jaehwan is an individual trainee and was also struggling with the choreography. Mnet’s choice to focus on Hyunbin and Jonghyun’s interactions lead to viewers to see only the negatives. Mnet had edited the sequence as to confuse and manipulate the viewers into seeing Hyunbin very negatively which is rather unfair. 

As previously mentioned Hyunbin is definitely not the fastest learner among the bunch due to having no experience in training, however since practicing for the first mission until now he has shown he is slowly adapting and has learned to improve. I believe it was a blessing for Hyunbin to be chosen by Minhyun as he is now given to the opportunity to work alongside Jonghyun. Jonghyun was so incredibly patient and understanding to Hyunbin, he lead the team and Hyunbin in detail step by step. He also continually praised and encouraged Hyunbin that he also could follow the routine well, I believe this was certainly vital in Hyunbin’s overall improvement. As the team mission was right after the rank evaluation I believe Hyunbin’s personal confidence must have dropped significantly as he failed to move up in rank. He must have had so much self doubt built up within him as he believed no matter how much effort, and hard work he put into practicing, he would still not improve. However under Jonghyun’s sincere guidance Hyunbin made progress little by little, Jonghyun also helped Hyunbin rekindle his lost confidence and spirit.

Unfortunately during the dance practice evaluation by their dance coach Hyunbin once again was unable to showcase what he had learnt properly. Also since he is a slow learner I believe at this stage he most likely wasn’t fully familiar with the routine, now as previously mentioned he is  slow learner thus he will need a little more time than others. Which is fine as long as he continues to practice hard and doesn’t lose focus of his goal, he will soon build up more skill and be able to learn at the same pace as his fellow trainees. However it is unfortunate that the dance trainer isn’t on the same page as Hyunbin, but thats understandable as he is looking at the bigger picture and is worried that Hyunbin’s lack of skills may bring down the overall performance. 

Hyunbin himself is the most aware of his skills and abilities hence he knows that he most definitely is not as prepared for this training evaluation with the trainer. When Hyunbin alongside Jaehwan are asked to showcase the routine they have learnt, they unfortunately do not perform to standard and maybe Hyunbin’s nerves and anxiety got to him again and he was unable to showcase what he has learnt. Jonghyun himself stated that he was confident in what Jaehwan and Hyunbin have learnt thus far as he was there guiding them along so he knows that they have learnt the routine and even though the weren’t the most amazing dancers, Jonghyun is aware that they would be able to complete the routine well. Jonghyun stated that his members should be able to do well, meaning he is aware of their abilities and knows that his members did do their best to learn the routine as everyone else, however he is nervous because he understands that his members are nervous and yes mistakes can happen. 

I personally felt that is was extremely unfortunate that Jonghyun was pointed out as being the reason his members did not remember the routine. It felt extremely unfair since he was shown to have sincerely lead and guided the team really well during practice. Even though he was lectured Jonghyun still believed that it was his fault that he did not lead the team well enough. In reality each and every person learns at their own pace, and thats fine as we will all reach the finish line at our own pace. 

I felt that Mnet’s choice to solely focus Hyunbin’s struggles to be so unfair as I would have enjoyed to see the whole teams dynamics together, more of Minhyun as he was the one who created this team overall, Seongwoo as he was the groups centre who was not lacking in dance or vocals, or maybe show us how he was struggling with the routine but picked himself up(similar to his struggles during the rank evaluation) and Jaehwan the individual trainee who shined with his vocals but needed a little more guidance with dance. I would have liked to see the team help both Jaehwan and Hyunbin with the routine. Also Daniel who was shown to be a bit at ill one point, it would have been nice to see more of Jonghyun’s interactions with each member as their leader, but unfortunately we were only shown what Mnet wanted us to see and that was only Hyunbin’s struggles and how he was bringing the team down, even though it was nice to see Jonghyun as the genuine and sincere leader to Hyunbin, it would have been even greater to see Jonghyun as the sincere leader to each one of his members. I believe that if we were shown the struggles of this as a whole, then none of us would have seen Hyunbin so negatively because we would instead see how this team was able to overcome each obstacle together.

Mnet’s choice to only showcase these various scenes was most certainly pre meditated, they knew that by showing these specific scenes it would paint Hyunbin in a very specific and negative manner. While it is true that Hyunbin is lacking in many departments, I was sure he wasn’t lacking in hard work and determination as shown during the rank evaluation, hence to see Hyunbin acting like so did make me disappointed and question his recent change in behaviour. However it is simple to understand as Hyunbin had never been a trainee before in his life he is now still adapting to trainee schedules and routines thus he will want to rest more than others, not because he is lazy but because he physically cannot keep up to the other members. Kwon Hyunbin is not lazy he simply has not built up the same stamina and resistance as the other members hence he is still adapting to the long hours of training, Hyunbin is physically not able to keep up but he is trying to. As Hyunbin was a trainee in a modelling agency I doubt he underwent intense and rigorous training hours as his members in actual talent agencies. 

Kim Jonghyun - training period - 8 years 2 months 

Hwang Minhyun - training period - 6 years 3 months 

Kim Jaehwan - training period - 4 years 2 months

Kang Daniel - training period - 2 years 1 months

Ong Seongwu - training period - 8 months

Kwon Hyunbin - training period - 3 months 

These type of scenes where Hyunbin is shown to be not practicing, resting or when he was shown hiding in a small practice room seem to be very ambiguous as it was never shown why he was doing so. When the members are tired they may wish to rest and that is completely fair, however they only show Hyunbin resting making it seem like he was the only one do so while everyone practiced continuously, obviously that is untrue as I’m sure they all practiced and rested together. I’m aware that Hyunbin took more breaks but as previously mentioned he is simply not physically able to keep up with the members, also its unfair that Mnet did not show when Hyunbin would get back into practicing, as Hyunbin would rest for a bit but he would always come back to practicing, and overtime I’m sure he would develop stronger stamina and resistance to practice with his members. Also it was super ambiguous for Mnet to show Hyunbin hiding in the small practice room, we could all see he was holding a lyrics sheet and had an mp3 player with him, Hyunbin could have been practicing by himself because he was aware that he is lacking. Maybe he wanted to quickly improve by himself that by the time he went back to vocal practice he would be able to show his members how he’s improved. Hence once again I am disappointed in Mnet’s choice to only focus on the groups dance as opposed to vocal practice. 

Also yet another ambiguous scene by Mnet is when Hyunbin has trouble with his contact lenses, for all we know Hyunbin could have went back to the dormitory sorted out the issue and immediately returned to practice with his team members, we don’t know because Mnet never showed us that hence it leads the viewers guessing and can lead to them assuming he went back to the dorm to sleep and took hours to come back to practice. 

Daniels cut in particular was also very ambiguous because we do not know exactly when he said those words, it could have been when Hyunbin left to fix his contacts or maybe even during the beginning when Jonghyun was teaching Hyunbin step by step through the choreography, or even during vocal practice where Hyunbin might have also been struggling. The truth is we can never be sure because this is Mnet’s intention, they are intentionally being ambiguous and this is incredibly wrong because this can be the difference between being eliminated and debuting, and that goes for all of the trainees because I’m sure Hyunbin’s not the only one being negatively portrayed. 

During another one of the teams dance practices Hyunbin once again is shown leaving the practice room momentarily before being called back in by Leader Jonghyun. Here we are shown a sequence where Hyunbin is being lectured for not putting in all his effort and determination to train. Hyunbin is once again reminded that if he doesn’t do well at all than thats all everyone will see of him, not to mention it will also bring the team down overall. I’m extremely glad that Hyunbin was lectured by Jonghyun because it’s obvious to anyone who looks Hyunbin had momentarily lost his drive and confidence to do well. He wasn’t able to show himself in the first challenge and thus lost the chance to move up in rank, he wasn’t able to show himself during dance evaluation and again lost his confidence in his ability to even improve. 

Let’s backtrack to the first mission, when Hyunbin was unable to to perform due to nerves and anxiety he broke down because he felt that despite all his efforts he was just not going to improve and that heavily broke his spirits. So now that Jonghyun is lecturing him we can see that Hyunbin is looking down and fidgeting with his hands at one point. Personally I feel that Hyunbin is feeling extremely guilty because he is aware that his lacking self is bringing down the teams overall performance. The reason why I think so is because I also share similar self doubts as Hyunbin, when I’m confronted like Hyunbin by Jonghyun I look down, I fidget, quietly apologise and don’t even try to explain myself, I do this not because I don’t care that I’m being lectured or yelled at but because I’m feeling extreme guilt inside. Hyunbin is feeling extreme guilt, and disappointment towards himself, the boy wants to do well but momentarily he has lost his drive, his spirits and his confidence. 

Hence why I’m so glad Jonghyun is lecturing him because Jonghyun questions why he is in the competition. Jonghyun shares with Hyunbin that for him this competition is is last chance to succeed, he bets his life on this. I believe after hearing Jonghyun’s sincere words Hyunbin was also reminded of why he was here to compete, Hyunbin was able to find his drive and motivation to work even harder to succeed. 

Jonghyun really deserves the title of Nation’s Leader for he showed just so much patience and understanding with Hyunbin, I’m so thankful that Hyunbin was able to train alongside Jonghyun as without him maybe Hyunbin would have continued to spiral down after losing his confidence and motivation. I’m glad that Hyunbin was able to pick himself up and also hope he continues to work even harder in the future. 

We can see obviously here that Hyunbin after being reprimanded by Jonghyun was able to finally show both himself, his team and the trainers that he is a genuine and hardworking person. With Jonghyun’s sincere and genuine guidance we were able to see a perfect performance by all the members as a team. 

From the beginning we were able to see what type of person Kwon Hyunbin truly is, he has a drive, he is hardworking and very determined because he a like many others have given up so much to compete in Produce 101. Hyunbin was a very well established model prior to Produce 101 I knew his face from all the fashion weeks and editorials in which he appeared in, give him 1-2 years and his face might have appeared in many foreign editorials and advertisements, he could have also walked in many NY, London and Paris fashion week runways. Because of this I personally find it easy to cross off him wanting to be an idol for fame because as a model Hyunbin could have easily established more fame and success for himself. However Hyunbin has chosen to not take part in this season and for those who don’t know the fashion industry moves extremely fast, many designers create their collections a year in advance hence various of trends are already being considered way before it is released on the market. Designers don’t wait for trends, they create them hence Hyunbin choosing to participate in Produce 101 for the duration of 5-6 months has drastically impacted on his career. Even if Hyunbin does not debut and chooses to return to modelling after Produce 101 has ended it’ll still be a significant challenge for Hyunbin to be hired and casted because he has now missed a whole season and within this time numerous of male models would have taken his spot. The fashion and modelling industry is harsh, because their are millions of models around the globe happy to take your position. 

However none of that matters to Hyunbin because he sincerely wishes to debut, hence in spite of how you once viewed Hyunbin I hope you can all now see who he genuinely is and not what Mnet has portrayed him to be. 

Autistic and mentally ill and physically disabled students are incredible! We exist in a world that is built for and by neurotypical and able bodied people and we still manage to navigate it!!! Disabled students are so important and deserve all of the validation in the world. I hope every single one of you remembers to look after yourself.

You don’t need to earn self care; you don’t need to completely drain your batteries before you’re allowed to practice self care. You deserve to feel as productive and a part of the community and the student body as any neurotypical able bodied student. Don’t ever compare yourself to their performance standards or force yourself to live up to them in a way that causes you harm. You are perfect exactly how you are. Also, don’t EVER feel badly because you need to do things in a different way from everyone else or you need help accomplishing something. Don’t feel guilty for being yourself. Your accomplishments are not lesser. You are not lesser.

In addition to being thin, women (particularly in the west) are expected to maintain the illusion of hairlessness. Any sign that puberty might have bestowed upon us a spray of fuzz beneath our arms or a thatch of fur between our legs has to be eliminated immediately. Waxing, shaving, plucking, electrolysis - women have to fork out precious financial resources just to achieve what is then laughably passed off as a ‘natural’ state. For men and women similarly invested in maintaining patriarchal notions of gender performance, hair on women seems to be oddly terrifying. 

- Clementine Ford, Fight Like A Girl 

Autism Parents™ hate their children. There is no way to talk around it, no way to deny it.

They hate that their children are autistic, they hate that they don’t blend in. They further push rhetorics which are harmful to autistic people. And they raise their kids with that exact rhetoric. They raise their kids to keep their hands quiet, to perform to standards not made for them instead of fighting for acceptance. Instead of fighting for their kids to have an environment that treats them how they deserve to be treated.

Honestly… I am sorry for all of you who have Autism Parents™…
You are not a burden. You are not in pain because you exist and because you are autistic. But because of how people treat you. Because of your parents telling you that you are.

You are fine. Being autistic is great.
It’s just society that’s gross and I’m sorry that even your parents told you otherwise.

I Though I Was Coming With a Flu [edited]

Characters/Pairing: Dean x Fem!Reader, Sam, Dr. Blaze (OC)

word count: 2k

Warnings: Bit of angst, fluff, lots of it, unexpected pregnancy!!!

A/N: This is and old story among the firsts pices of SPN fanfiction I ever wrote and posted on Tumblr. Since my brain haven’t been helpful with me and the new stories I have in mind I decided to edit this one. I was about to change the ending a bit, but fuck it. I like it, even if it is dull… Oh, and I’m tagging people.

Anyways this is prompt: ‘The reader was told she was infertile by her doctor a long time ago. She finds out he was wrong when she realizes she’s pregnant… with Dean’s baby.    From “60+ Dean x Pregnant!reader Prompts” that I don’t remember who it was from because I deleted the original post, so sorry!! 


[Feedback is awesome]

Originally posted by out-in-the-open


I Thought I Was Coming With a Flu

The cold water felt wonderful against your hot, flushed face, soothing the feverish sensation. You delicately patted the droplets off of your sensitive skin with a soft fluffy towel. Observing in detail your reflection in the mirror, you didn’t recognize the person looking back at you anymore.

Dark circles around your eyes,cheeks shrunk to half it’s normal size- displaying the cheekbones through thin, pale skin - It’s been, what two, three weeks since you started to feel sick… you didn’t keep count anymore. Your neck looked longer and thinner, not to mention that you’d lost at least 20 lb and all of your jeans were baggy now, even your sweats started to slide down your hip.

You carded your fingers through your dirty hair, moving  it to the side and contemplated your languid face once more before rinsing your mouth with the last of mouthwash; what was the point on brushing your teeth if you were going to throw up again in like 20 minutes?

You made your way down the hall to the kitchen, stopping once or twice to catch your breath; you couldn’t be off bed for more than a few minutes without feeling like you were going to faint. You finally reached your destination and laid against the doorframe, to regain your composure and were immediately greeted by the worried looks of the Winchester brothers.

“Morning to you too,” you said in a sarcastic tone.

“Hi,” they said in the unison.

“Umm… Hun, you know it’s 5 in the afternoon, right?” Dean was getting up so you could seat on his place, even though there were a lot of empty chairs.

Keep reading

i am so disgusted by betsy devos’ confirmation. she does not understand the socioeconomic and cultural factors that impact public school districts and their students—this is evidenced by the fact that she thinks implementing more charter schools will improve the already-existing school system. improving school and student performance involves more than just building new schools, and i don’t think devos understands the root of poor student performance.

basically, poor schools are trapped in a cycle of poverty while schools in more affluent neighborhoods gain more funding. public schools are funded three ways: state education funds, property taxes, and standardized test scores.

it is well established that schools with less funding do worse than schools with more funding. the more money and resources a school has, the better students perform in school and on state tests. for poor schools, this is where the cycle begins: the school doesn’t have enough money, so students are not getting the same quality education as their wealthier counterparts; because they are not getting a quality education, they perform badly on standardized tests; because they perform badly on standardized tests, the school doesn’t get much funding; repeat cycle. add low property taxes to this equation and you get what is known as a “bad school.”

it is no coincidence that “bad schools” are located in low-income primarily black neighborhoods, and “good schools” are located in upper class primarily white neighborhoods. this casual segregation is not only a result of low funding, it’s a result of racism. many public schools did not fully integrate until the 1980s; while segregation was illegal by this point, many people of color (especially black people) were confined to their neighborhood schools. additionally, the racist housing market disallowed black people from moving into certain neighborhoods (where mostly white people lived), meaning many could not move into a better area.

as a result, poor black schools stayed poor and black, and wealthy white schools stayed wealthy and white.

there is a history to our public school system. it is a history of anti-blackness, racism, classism, and disenfranchisement. we can do better, but defunding public schools is not the answer. further disenfranchising poor people, black people, and people of color will only serve to further advance upper class (white) students while everyone else falls behind. sending these low income students to a charter school will not magically improve their performance. if we want to improve student performance, we must first work on improving our public schools and creating an education system that benefits every student.

ally-cat-writing  asked:

As the one teacher I know of on here, I was wondering -- what's your opinion on standardized testing? As a student, I'm of the opinion that they aren't terribly useful -- how someone handles a subject throughout the term/semester/etc. is more indicative of how they understand it, whereas test results can vary depending on a myriad of issues (none of which prove the student doesn't know the material). What's your thought on the matter? Thanks for your time in answering.

I hate them. 

Like, basically all of pedagogy is “remember, not everyone learns the same.” And ways to differentiate instruction for different levels. So we know that not everyone learns the same or demonstrates learning the same. 

We also know that the number one predictor for how a school performs on standardized testing is the wealth and SES status of the students.

They don’t measure learning, growth, or quality of education in any meaningful ways. 

anonymous asked:

how is you getting extra time not an unfair advantage? at the end of the day, the most standardised method of testing academic ability is to give EVERYONE the SAME TASK and SAME TIME FRAME. if i had extra time during my a level english literature exam i could write 16-20 pages, but that would be unfair because someone else with equal ability to me could only write 8-10 pages and compromise their content and quality of writing compared to me. how is that "fair"?

Yes, just like you said “if i had extra time during my a level english literature exam i could write 16-20 pages”, however, I would only be able to write 8-10 pages. Are you able to write more because you have more knowledge of the subject than I do? Nope, it means that you are otherwise healthy and have no disability hindering you from performing up to your standards. 

I understand how you find it hard or basically impossible to understand what its like because you don’t have learning disabilities. As someone who has 2 learning disabilities, I can assure you that I am not given an “unfair” advantage over anyone. 

To make it easier for you to understand, I’ll give you an example that can possible fit better to your own knowledge and understanding. 

Take the Paralympics as an example. If I were to use your logic, then I would say that it is unfair to have an extra olympics just for those who are disabled. Why do they get to use wheelchairs when playing basketball? Its not fair that the gold medalist in a race is slower than the SLOWEST competitor in the same race in the olympics? So if I apply your thinking, having the paralympics isn’t fair, because if Michael Phelps or Usain Bolt were to compete against athletes from the paralympics in the same race, they would beat them by a mile and the disabled athletes would always finish last. Is that fair to you? 

Have you ever been injured? Had to wear a cast or use crutches? Well don’t you think it would be a little unfair if you were told that you should just try hopping on one leg to get from A to B instead of using a wheelchair or crutches? Because using a wheelchair means you have an unfair advantage right? Because without it, you would struggle just to go to the bathroom by yourself. 

Those who get extra time, get this in a way to minimise the disadvantage these students have in comparison to their peers. Imagine and 18 year old with an IQ of 130 but who reads at the level of a 3rd graders, who can understand the concepts and think critically just as well as everyone else can, but they have a DISABILITY (dyslexia) that hinders them from being able to encode the words they read. Do you think it would be fair for the student to receive a failing grade because they didn’t have enough time to physically read what the question has asked? 

There are a multitude of studies that prove that students without disabilities who are given extra time, do not really benefit from this a great amount. Maybe enabling them to get one or two extra points by re-reading their answers and correcting mistakes. However, to a student with learning disabilities, the extra time allows them to be able to right as much as their peers with the same academic ability and knowledge of the subject. 

I suggest you do some research about what it means to have a learning disability and get extra time for tests. 

On a more personal note, I want you to know that getting extra time isn’t some magical thing that saves my ass from failing my exams. It is an ATTEMPT to balance out the disadvantages I face in comparison to my peers. Extra time does not eliminate my dyslexia, nor does it magically allow me to concentrate on the task at hand. Extra time is a crutch, not a some type of magical gift that makes you smarter or a better writer. 

If I write a backwards 3 on my math exam, so “E”, as an answer, do you think the examiner is going to be like “oh hahaha I know they meant 3, I’ll give them the mark anyways”. No. HAHAH. I wish. The problem is that without extra time, I would make a dozen of those kinds of mistakes, because I’m stressed enough as it is, knowing that the clock is ticking and everyone around me is writing whilst I’m still reading the question.  Is it fair that I write down the answer for question 5 in the answer box for question 2 and have it marked as wrong although both of my answers are correct?? 

I’m thinking about writing an essay or a post on this, because my response to you is rushed and honestly not well thought through. I do however hope that this allows you to step into the shoes of those who struggle with things that you can do with ease. 

2

MBTI AESTHETIC: INTJ (6/16)

One of the rarest and most strategically capable personality types, INTJs are analytical problem-solvers, eager to improve systems and processes with their innovative ideas. They are often perfectionists with extremely high standards of performance for themselves and others and may become cynical and ruthless when these standards are not met. INTJs are not overly demonstrative of their emotions, and are not likely to give much praise or positive support to others. That doesn’t mean that they don’t have affection for others, they simply do not feel the need to express it.

14| Pas De Deux

Pairing: Jimin x Reader
Genre: Ballet au, Romance, Angst
Warnings: None
Wordcount: 4390

Masterlist | Prev | Next

You asked a group of second year girls where Madame Choi’s office was. After a few comments about your dining hall arguments, they directed you down towards a small corridor where most of the teachers had their offices. You went past the doors until you found the one with the plaque:

Madam Choi Soomin, Senior Ballet Mistress

Scholarship Coordinator

Biting back your excited nerves, you knocked on the door.

“Come in.” Came her voice.

You turned the handle and went in. Madam Choi’s office was not as nice as Mistress Hyejin’s. It was smaller, and windowless. But the walls were painted cream, and framed posters of various ballet productions hung from them, all signed by the casts. There were also photos of Madam Choi with a few other dancers all posing in their costumes. The lady herself sat at her desk, a big pile of papers in front of her. She looked studious with her black rimmed glasses and turtleneck jersey, but you could see the darkening circles under her eyes.

“Miss (Surname).” She regarded you wearily. “What can I do for you?”

“Ma'am I have something to show you.”

She raised her eyebrow, her fingers still intertwined in front of her. “And what would that be?” She asked.

You refrained from biting your lip and brought out your pointe shoes from behind your back. “I kind of have to show you in one of the studios.”

She pursed her lips, looking distastefully at the shoes. “Don’t you have a concussion and an order not to dance? Or have I changed my entire choreography on a lie?”

“Ma'am, the symptoms of my concussion have all gone.” You told her earnestly. “I can dance.”

She didn’t look convinced. “What is it you want to show me?”

“I changed the dance.” You said quietly. Judging by what she’d just said about changing the choreography, you doubted she’d give you a chance.

“By which you mean?”

You took a deep breath, suddenly feeling like you were coming in here to confess a crime. “I changed my solo dance last night.”

“And yet you injured yourself the day before, during Miss Yang’s accident?”

“I thought maybe Doctor Hill would forget to tell the teachers.”

She smiled at that. “My dear, Doctor Hill wouldn’t let you off for an injury even if it were a broken nail.”

“Exactly!” You cried out frustratedly, then snapped your mouth shut. Teacher, right. “I mean. Ma'am Doctor Hill is keeping me off much longer than necessary – it’s ridiculous, and I really want this solo.”

“The number of students I’ve lost because of him.” Madame Choi sighed and stood up. “Lead the way, Miss (Surname).” She said tiredly.

You nervously walked up to the second floor with her. Students were already coming down the stairs for dinner. Some of them gave you stares, remembering your little display at lunch. “What the hell is the bitch doing?” You heard Minjee’s voice. She was descending the stairs with Hyeun, Yuna and Seohyun. They all looked suspiciously at your leotard and dance bag with contempt.

“Miss Gwan, you will report to my office tomorrow morning.” Madam Choi said sharply, loud enough for the whole parade of people to hear. Minjee’s face turned pale. “This school is no place for your foul language.”

“Yes Ma'am.” She said quietly, swallowing. You tried to keep a satisfied smirk off you face.

Reaching the same studio as you’d used last time, you swiftly switched the bright strip lights on and quickly hooked your iPod up. Then you sat down and tied up your pointe shoes, feeling rushed because Madame Choi was standing at the door. At least she wasn’t tapping her foot. You did a few quick stretches – You did not need another injury, then you stood up, a bolt of nerves shooting up you body. You looked at Madame Choi. She gave a curt smile, telling you to begin.

You pressed play and then stepped back and rose onto pointe, lifting your leg up behind you. The music began. You felt the stirring in your belly as the familiar notes reached out for you and pulled you into a world that you had defined together.

As the notes went down, so did you, reaching forwards and raising your leg so that it made a straight line. You could still do it! You tried not to look for a reaction from Madame Choi as you rose back up and instead step turned downstage, and then spun in a slow pirouette.

You stepped a foot back, feeling as though you’d only just discovered you could do it and you stepped forward, as if a whole world – the world of ballet – was blossoming before you. You would join that world, you knew, and you curtsied, marking your entrance. And then the fast notes came, and the entrance was almost over. More notes joined the first until everything came together and then all tentativeness left, and you flew.

You remembered the whole dance easily – the music told you what you needed to do. Madam Choi became less of an individual and more of an anonymous observer as you leapt and spun. You were showing whoever was watching what you could do.

And as the final chorus lead you on once more, you delved into the music and brought it out with you, in the way that only dance could, and truly showed it to the world. You finished in arabesque. But once the last note had been played, you were cut loose, and Madam Choi’s presence was certainly there. You lowered your leg and turned to face her. Your breathing was heavier than usual, and sweat beaded on your back.

Madame Choi was looking at you with her chin raised high, making her even taller than usual. You couldn’t glean anything off her expression. She was simply studying you.

You felt the need to say something and break the horrible silence that she didn’t seem to notice. “It –” Your breathing was very heavy. “It’s not exactly polished.”

She nodded her head down slowly, then took a step towards you, looking you up and down. “Why did you dance like that?” She asked you. Her voice was the same blank calm as usual.

You frowned. You could hardly tell her it had something to do with Park Jimin. Wait, that wasn’t what she’d asked. “I don’t know.” You said. “I was thinking about why I started ballet. It was just, the music fit perfectly to describe it.”

She nodded. “Yes, you had that air of innocence about you.”

You stood there awkwardly. What was she saying? Were your moves too basic?

“I assume you would like me to put your choreography back into the piece?”

“Well I -Yes, Ma'am.”

Her eyes seemed to get sharper every second. “And I assume you would like to be the one to dance it.”

What? Suddenly, your protectiveness kicked in. No one else could dance this! The steps. They were all linked to you, even though you didn’t have the best technique, it was like giving away your favourite childhood toy. Yes, someone might actually use it or dance it better, but it was still your toy! What about all the memories? What about the connections the dance had to you?

Madame Choi was watching you closely. Your badly concealed disappointment answered her question. She sighed and took off her glasses. “When can you dance again?” She asked.

“Saturday, Ma'am.”

“You are one hundred percent healthy?”

“Yes, Ma'am.” You said, a little hope coming up inside.

“And if your symptoms were to return you will be responsible enough to stop?”

You hadn’t been before, but you didn’t think you ought to tell her that. They wouldn’t come back. “Yes Ma'am.”

“There is a lot of work to be done on it.” She said abruptly. “Your extensions ought to be better. An allegro is no reason to be sloppy, and your penche needs to face sideways to the audience, or no one will see the lines.” She put her hands behind her back, and looked at you with those powerful brown eyes. “This is a big risk you ask me and your class to take. If I change the choreography again then we lose another day of rehearsal. We have two rehearsals to go, Miss (Surname) one of which you can’t even attend.”

You held your breath. Oh God no. It was more than just Park Jimin – the reason why you wanted to dance this solo, it was because you really did love ballet, and the elation of dancing this particular piece.

“However.” Madam Choi continued. “I don’t believe either of the routines we have been rehearsing, nor the rest of your classmates can quite grasp the same, understanding you have just displayed.” You could hardly stop from smiling. She liked it! Did that mean you could perform?

“Thank you, Ma'am.” You said, trying not to sound as overjoyed as you were.

She pursed her lips. “You have a long way to go before performance standard, Miss (Surname). I would not tend to presume until you are standing behind that curtain with my absolute approval.”

You nodded quickly, feeling like a small, overexcited child who needed to calm down. She was letting you do it! You could do it, but she was right. There was still time for her to say no. Now you had to focus.

“Go over the first section.” She suddenly ordered. “I’d like to see that penche again. No music.”

You performed the introduction. The emotion was lost without the music, but you knew that you couldn’t let yourself get surrounded by the music until your technique was so habitual that you could trust yourself to perform with quality. Only then could you allow yourself to fully develop into the music. Apparently your penche was acceptable, considering your lack of experience, but it was badly postured. Madame Choi pressed down your back to it arched and pushed your leg even higher, saying it wasn’t quite one-eighty yet.

You went through the whole routine in painstaking detail. Without the support of the music, you sometimes forgot moves, but Madame Choi had the endless patience that all dancers needed to develop – three hours of plies and failed pirouettes weren’t meant to be exciting, and yet that’s how learning ballet is.

“I want you take your movements and make them larger.” She said as you rehearsed once again the middle chorus. “The introduction needs more as well. It all must be bigger on stage, Miss (Surname), or this story you have managed to create will be nonexistent for the audience. You do very nice subtle things – when you open your hand during the first bar after the gentlemen’s piece, it is ought to be a full opening of your entire arm. Subtle doesn’t work.”

You tried opening out, unbending your arm as your fingers spread. “Yes, better, and as you watch your arm or hand, particularly in the introduction, you want to make them head movements rather than just eyes, understand?”

The rain continued to beat against the windows as the sky slowly darkened. It was warm in the studio, though, and you hardly noticed as the minutes and hours passed, and the shrouded sun went down behind the hills. Having never properly watched yourself dance the piece in the mirrors, there was a lot to fix – and Madame Choi was a technique teacher, after all.

“I worked it out so that it wouldn’t affect the original choreography.” You told her at one point.

She shook her head, surveying the empty studio. “No, the class choreography will be changed. They will fit exactly to your solo. Go stage right at the end of that bar…you will lead them into a spiral shape for the climax, and then they’ll circle you. Break out for the final chorus. They will be in the background. Go to the front of the stage.”

You did so. If there was one thing you could let yourself predict about the coming days, it was that your class was not going to be happy, particularly about being in the background at the end. If they wanted credit just for ‘making you look pretty’ then it was at the end – one of the most memorable parts of the performance. However you couldn’t be bothered feeling any sympathy.

“What were you originally finishing in?” Madame Choi asked.

“An arabesque.” You told her.

She nodded. “Let me see your opening arabesque.”

You turned to the side and lifted your leg, your arms reaching out in front.

“And the one at the end?”

“It’s the same.” You replied.

“It shouldn’t be.” She said. “One would hope that you have changed from your childlike state at the beginning of the piece. You have now experienced ballet, but something must be different.”  She regarded your position. “Lift your leg above the ninety, arch your back up. Look proud, knowledgeable…yes, that’s it.”

You didn’t feel proud or knowledgeable, but you knew what she was getting at. You had to change from your discovery of ballet, to your joy at becoming a ballerina.

“Eight forty-eight.” Murmured Madame Choi, looking at her watch. “Once more time, Miss (Surname). And you will rehearse here tomorrow?”

“Yes Ma'am.” You nodded.

She sighed. “I don’t particularly like encouraging rule breaking, but Doctor Hill.” She trailed off, pursing her lips distastefully at the floor. Eventually she snapped out of it and looked at you. “Just try not to bring any attention to your rule breaking.”

You nodded, feeling kind of like you were co-conspirators, except she was your teacher.

“Alright, from the beginning, if you please.”

You flicked your iPod back to the start and began dancing once again. It was difficult remembering both the changes to the choreography and your general technique. Madam Choi, however, had managed to memorize your entire choreography, as well as the class’s in just two hours, and she called out when you got lost. With your concentration on technique and timing, there was little of the connection you’d felt when you’d first performed it tonight, but you didn’t mind.

There were only a few bars left, and you sautéed, jumping high, feeling the satisfying spring in your legs. You spun in your last pirouette, turning away from the windows.

Shinn Taeyeon was looking through the door window.

Shit! You stumbled in your landing.

“Control!” Madame Choi demanded. You frustratedly lifted your leg up in the final arabesque. Taeyeon was staring at your position contemptuously, her nostrils flared. The final note played, and you hurriedly went down. What the hell was she doing here? What if she told Jimin?

“That was good.” Madame Choi was saying. “Aside from the ending.”

“Yes Ma'am.” You murmured. Taeyeon finally made eye contact with you and smirked. Then she pushed the door open and walked in.

“Hey Ma'am!” She said, putting on a Barbie-fake smile.

Madame Choi’s usually scowling face brightened considerably. “Taeyeon! How are your classes going?” She asked, walking over to her.

“Good, thanks ma'am. I just saw you in here and thought I’d say hi.”

“Ah, yes, we were just rehearsing Miss (Surnames)’s solo for the review.” She gestured to you. “Have you met?”

Taeyeon gave you a horribly sweet smile. “Yeah, we’ve met. Hey, I thought you were sick or something?”

Yeah, coming to think of it, you did feel like vomiting. She was sickening.

Madame Choi leaned in conspiratorially. “Well, Doctor Hill’s given her one of those silly rest periods like he used to give Jimin. But Miss (Surname) really does have something to show everyone. You’ll be watching?” She inquired.

“Oh yes.” Taeyeon nodded. “Jimin and I are up against Master Jinho and Mistress Hyejin.”

Madam Choi laughed. “Evenly matched, I think. What are you dancing to?”

“Moonlight Sonata.” Taeyeon replied.

She nodded approvingly. “A good choice.”

“Yeah, we were going to go with Clair de Lune at first, but Jimin and I decided we’d have more chances to show our skill with Beethoven.” Thank God they weren’t doing Clair de Lune. Any remaining connection you had with that piece would have been crushed if you’d watch Jimin and Taeyeon dancing to it – no doubt, beautifully.

You knelt down and untied your pointe shoes. Madam Choi went on. “And how are your sisters? I heard Taeil’s got the solo for the Chinese Variation of the Nutcracker.”

“Yeah.” Said Taeyeon flatly. “It’s not very big, though. My Mom thought she could’ve aimed for better.”

“Ah, not everyone can be the Sugar Plum Fairy, though. I believe she’s just the right technique for the choreography.”

You quickly unplugged your iPod from the stereo. “Ma'am.” You said, slinging your bag over your shoulder. “I better go before its lights out.”

She turned round and gave you a pleasant smile. “I’ll see you tomorrow, then. You might care to take some time to write down the notes I gave you.”

“I will, Ma'am.” You quickly curtsied a thank you and left, brushing past Taeyeon, who gave you a quick sneer before turning back to being a sickly sweet student.

You huffed as the door shut behind you. You liked Madame Choi – she was a great teacher – however you childishly thought that Taeyeon had brainwashed her.

Before you got to your dorm, you stopped into one of the alcoves and slipped your hoodie and trackpants back on.

The others were still lounging around in their PJs, chatting and reading magazines on the couches. You tried to be inconspicuous as you put your pointe shoes away and got out of your leotard and tights. Minjee, who hadn’t noticed you yet, was sitting with Seohyun, Hyeun and a few other girls from your class, complaining loudly. “Seriously, she was only like, a Coryphée, and yet she walks around like she’s the best teacher in the school.”

“Madame Choi is better than Madame Zhang, Minjee.” Yuna said, who’d been lying on another couch reading a Ballet Magazine. You thought back to lunchtime. Yuna had been there, but at least she’d said things a little more graciously than the others.

“Whatever.” Snorted Minjee, not bothering to look at Yuna. “At least Zhang let me fool around with Jongsoo between combinations.” Yeah, you thought to yourself, thank God for that. “Besides, it’s not like she wasn’t royally pissed off with little drama queen as well.”

“She was so stuck-up on the stairs.” Said Hyeun. “What a teacher’s pet.” You remembered how Minjee had insulted you the other day, and how Hyeun had snapped at her to shut up. It was ridiculous the way she and some of the others had changed sides so quickly. What a bunch of fake bitches. However maybe you would have been one of them when you were fifteen, but even then, you’d been smart enough not to be on anyone’s side other than you own.

One of the other gossiping girls leaned in excitedly. “I know, right? When I offered to help her with her solo, she went all snobby and told me to piss off. I mean, I was just offering to help her.”

“I guess it goes against her code of conduct to actually accept help from a first year.” Minjee said. “That’s why she thinks she’s so great – getting in with Park Jimin, Shinn Taeyeon and that Dawon girl.”

“They didn’t even want to talk to her.” Seohyun said with a giggle. “I mean, did you see the way Jimin walked out? Even people her own age can’t stand her massive ego.”

“Bighead (Name).” Minjee said with a smug smile.

You rolled your eyes, deciding you’d really rather not remain inconspicuous. “Wow Minjee.” You said, walking down the aisle of beds to them. “You learnt how to alliterate. Well done!”

She looked at you and stood up, undeterred. “I don’t think we invited you into this conversation, (Name).” She said your name tauntingly.

“Why not?” You said, smiling. “It’s not like I don’t already know what you think of me.” You sat down on the edge of one of the couches. “Go, talk.” You looked at the other girls, who sat looking down uncomfortably. “Or is it not so much fun insulting someone when you’re scared they’ll hear you?”

“We’re just saying it like it is, (Name).” Hyeun mumbled.

You laughed. “Hyeun, you really know nothing about me. And until you do, please stop basing me on ridiculous clichés you got off the Disney Channel. You have no evidence.” You knew you were only making things worse for yourself, but you really couldn’t be bothered.

Hyeun leapt up from the floor. “You are such a bitch!”

“I think we’ve already established that.” You said drawlingly.

“Really funny, (Name).” Minjee rolled her eyes, folding her arms.

You raised your eyebrows. “How so?”

“Ugh.” She huffed. “You’re pathetic.”

“And you’ve just run out of comebacks.”

Minjee looked you up and down then took a step towards you. “You really think you’re something, don’t you?”

“Well you’re sure making a big deal out of me, Minjee.” You told her, standing up from the edge of the sofa. You were towering a great deal over her. She glared up at you, narrowing her mascara-laden eyes.

“You’re gonna pay for being such a bitch.” She said quietly.

You rolled your eyes. “Where’s that from? James Bond?”

“God you’re a bitch!” She took another step towards you. Suddenly you felt a sharp pain across your cheek.

“What the hell?” She’d just slapped you!

“You deserve it!” She yelled.

“Are you fucking crazy!” You roared, some of your control going up with the pain in your cheek.

“Maybe, but at least I aren’t so damn stuck-up!”

“Why! Because I work hard and get results?”

“You don’t work hard! You don’t even have any experience! You’re too old!”

“What the heck is – ”

“Excuse me!” Every head snapped to the doorway.

Madame Hyejin stood there, wearing a black pencil skirt and a white blouse. She looked frighteningly tall, and she began walking right towards you and Minjee. You’d both unconsciously stepped away from each other. “What on Earth is going on?” She demanded.

“We – ”

“I – ” Minjee and you began at the same time.

Madame Hyejin looked between the two of you, her hands on her hips. “How dare you both make such a racket! I should send you to Master Jinho right now! What happened?”

No one said anything.

Madame Hyejin looked at you and Minjee, studying you both closely. She looked carefully at your face. “She slapped you?”

You nodded tentatively. You hadn’t wanted to tell her. You didn’t need teachers to know about it – it was your fight.

“She led me on, Ma'am.” Minjee said hastily.

Madame Hyejin shook her head in disgust, her eyes on Minjee. “You know – I don’t care what you were arguing about! That behaviour is absolutely disgraceful!” She snapped back to you. “And for you to react by yelling! You could have walked away! This is absolutely appalling! Ballet Dancers pride themselves on having grace and manners no matter what the situation! By being at this school you adhere to those rules at all times!” She exclaimed, her hands flying up in the air. “I will think of a suitable punishment and you will both come to my office after classes tomorrow. Understand?”

You both nodded.

Madame Hyejin surveyed the rest of the dorm. “Everyone get to bed. And if anyone says a single word they will regret it. Miss (Surname), I would like to talk to you outside for a moment.” She spun on her heel and walked back out.

You followed her nervously.

Out in the cool corridor, Madame Hyejin sighed wearily. For the first time, you noticed the bags under her eyes.

“Miss (Surname) I understand how it must be hard for you to deal with little girls who are two years younger than you, however, you must have patience with them. God knows I do not need this after the past couple of days.” She said, putting two manicured fingers to her forehead.

You suddenly felt guilty, remembering where she must have been. “Ma'am. How is Jiwoo?” You asked.

She gave you a tired smile. “Miss Yang is recovering well. They expect only three more days in the hospital at most.”

“Will she be coming back?” You already knew the answer, but you had to get the confirmation.

Madame Hyejin was already shaking her head. “We don’t quite know how she well she will heal in the long-term, but certainly not this term.”

You nodded slowly. Your poor friend. You had been so consumed in your own drama for the past two days that you hadn’t though much about her.

“She is allowed to have visitors from Saturday on. She asked for you, would you like to go?”

“Of course.” You said nodding frantically.

“Good. Oh, and one last thing – Doctor Hill informed me of your concussion.”

You nodded, swallowing. You didn’t want to have to lie.

“I understand why you did not tell anyone sooner – Miss Yang’s injury was more severe, but I must stress the importance of reporting injuries. I certainly don’t want to have another student in hospital because she went to sleep and could not wake up again. Have you been taking your pills?”

“Yes Ma'am.” Well, you would take them in a minute…

“Good, now go and get some sleep.”

“Goodnight, Ma'am.” You curtsied and went back inside. Everyone else was obediently 'asleep’ and you got into bed quietly.

Madame Hyejin was right – you did have to have patience with your classmates. But that didn’t mean you couldn’t prove your worth on Sunday. To your class, to Taeyeon and to Jimin?

Now you understood – it wasn’t to prove him wrong about you. If what you guessed from your talk with Dawon was correct, then you would not be proving anything to him. You would just be reminding him.

Slowly you drifted of to sleep. The memory of strong hands on your waist, a warm, tall body close to yours…and brown eyes…staring into yours as you stared into them with no pretence, no nervousness…just discovery.

anonymous asked:

I would like to know what you though of his live SOTT vocals!

They were insanely good. I was really, really, REALLY impressed. He’s obviously been working with a vocal coach, and it shows.

Right off the bat, the first verse hit me like a fucking truck. The tone and the texture of his voice were to die for. His voice sounded thick, a little smoky, a little gritty…..it was just so unique. I had palpitations. His voice has matured and deepened and….holy cow it was incredible.

I liked the addition of the live band and their voices. They added some falsetto in SOTT, which I liked. My only complaint in that regard is that we didn’t get to hear Harry’s beautiful falsetto by itself. The other vocal additions from the band I really, really loved. He picked a good group. Their harmonies were especially beautiful during ESNY.

When the second verse started and the music picked up and more guitars were added, I just though, “holy shit, rockstar!” When he started doing the note changes, and little vocal flourishes, I was done. Amazing. I was very happy to see the return of “Stage Harry” with his cute mannerisms, unique dance moves, sexy faces, etc. And, as usual, he was passionate and emotive in his singing. He didn’t just stand there and hit the notes. He performed.

I’m putting some technical stuff under a cut because I have a lot to say and most people don’t care

Keep reading

It’s truly irritating how everyone on here only focuses on bi women in the context of men and heterosexual relationships - and even bi tumblr does this, what with the intermittent “you are valid if you like men” and “m/f relationships are cute uwu” posts. All of you are so incredibly detached from bi women’s material realities and that both non-bi women LGBT people and bi women themselves parrot rhetoric that centers bi women around men is so telling. 

Yes, I understand why bi tumblr focuses on uplifting bi women in m/f relationships, since biphobes think bi women don’t belong in their community if they aren’t performing bisexuality in a “pleasing” way. And yes, I understand why non bi-women focus on pointing out that all heterosexual relationships receive material benefits, since society compulsively socializes women to want men and only men and rewards women to induce them into “staying” exclusively heterosexual and punishes women who stray from this “path”. 

But I truly wish you guys (and this goes for other bi women too, quite frankly) would remember that bi women do actually love women and their position in the LGBT community exists precisely because they love women. Whether or not they are currently with a woman doesn’t matter, because they are same-gender attracted people and they have been part of a coalition of people oppressed by heterosexism, heteronormativity, and the gender binary from the inception of said coalition. 

This means focusing on encouraging bi women’s attraction to women. This means analyzing how bi women are punished when they love women, and how society makes it difficult for them to seek out women or find women to date and love. Bi women love women, they have sex with women, they present their identity so that other wlw/lbpq women can seek them out, they marry women, they cohabit with other women, they advocate for LGBT people, they fight for women. They have always loved women. Bi women are married to other bi women and to lesbians. I guarantee you that bi women currently married to men have probably fiercely loved women in the past (and this love for women doesn’t fade even if they love or are married to a man). Moreover the circumstances around heterosexual marriages are never clear-cut when it comes to all LGBT people, whether it’s a bi woman married to a man or a gay man/lesbian forced into dating a woman/man. 

It’s so irrelevant to focus on bi women in m/f relationships constantly, whether you’re “validating” those relationships or talking about how “bi women need to stop forcing gay and lesbian people to care about m/f relationships”. Firstly, hardly anyone says these things about bi men and m/f relationships, which is revealing, and secondly, by only relating bi women to m/f relationships, you yourself are necessitating a continued focus on them. No bi woman is going up to a gay/lesbian person and saying “hey, I want you to care about my boyfriend and I want you to fawn over my relationship”. And no bi woman is going up to another bi person and saying “hey, i want you to focus all your bi politics on validating my m/f relationship”. You guys seriously overestimate how much bi women care about men and m/f relationships. Obviously there are bi women in them, but bi women care about women and they want their attraction to women to be prioritized and uplifted. 

When a bi woman says that she doesn’t want people to force her to perform unfeasible standards of radicalism, she isn’t asking you to care about m/f relationships and she isn’t asking you to only “validate” her in the context of m/f relationships. All she’s saying is not to discount or reject her on the basis of past/present relationships. Frankly that should be a tenet of common sense and a standard of decency applied to all LGBT people. So bi tumblr, when you only emphasize disseminating positivity for m/f attractionality or relationships, you lose the crucial focus on bi women who desperately need their attraction to women uplifted, and non-bi women, when you only talk about how we “love” men and how it would be “okay” for gay/lesbian people to avoid community with us because we “love” men, you’re forgetting that historically, bi women are same-gender attracted and have always been fighting for their rights as people marginalized by heterosexism/heteronormativity. 

People who aren’t bi women, including bi men and non-bi LGBT people, only ever talk about our potential attraction to men, which leads people to erase the bisexuality of bi women in f/f relationships, it causes people to act surprised when we’re targeted by regular homophobia, it makes bi spaces inundated with casual homophobia and makes them lose site of reality, it causes other bi women to embrace hostility and bitterness rather than solidarity, and it erases the history of bi women contributing to gay culture and gay history and LGBT activism. 

@genuinesoftboy submitted:

(I read the McHanzo prompt you reblogged and just slapped my keyboard a bunch and this happened pls don’t judge I haven’t written anything in foreverrrrrr)

~~

“I don’t know what makes you think I have time to engage your strange behavior but I do not.”

The silence that follows wasn’t uncommon. It normally followed Hanzo’s cold piercing words and he had learned to find comfort in it. However, it was less akin this time to swatting away an annoyance and more so stepping on a child’s toy. He knew he shouldn’t be he glanced over his shoulder anyways, preparing a harsh glare. However, the sight of McCree’s abashed and downtrodden face made his glare more a mirror to the discomfort snaking through his stomach.

“Aw shucks, archer. Didn’t mean to bother ya… I’ll stay focused on the mission, alright?” McCree tried for a half smile but it wasn’t fairly evident how much of an effort it was for him to try that. His face was burning with an embarrassment that only came from being shot down and he was more curled inwards, less of his usual posture of chest out and legs wide. It was…pathetic, truly. Hanzo snapped his head around, furrowing his brow more, lips pursuing out in a sort of pout to himself. He didn’t prepare himself for the idea of the handsome gun slinger actually listening to him and taking his words to heart. He felt a weird surge of relief he didn’t choose any meaner words for fear the man might’ve cried. He was far too soft for the job he boasted. His hand gripped on his bow tighter before loosening slightly in defeat. Hanzo couldn’t help but admit to himself that happiness and innocence was endearing and he knew if he left the guilt to chew on his insides, he would not perform to his standards all day.

Right as a countdown began overhead, he turned on his heel to face the sulking McCree. “I lied. You may continue with your…ridiculous compliments. They’re endearing, like a small dog. But do not distract me from my work, understand?” Gods, he was blushing now too?! This was silly! School children responded this way! They were two adults here, just being honest, why was he reacting so strongly to his own blunt sentences?!

McCree fumbled a bit, lip quivering before snapping shut to catch the cigar starting to lean out of his mouth. His eyes were held wide open and Hanzo averted his gaze immediately. “Well! If you say so, honey suckle!” He said, the smile in his voice contagious and pulling a small half smirk from Hanzo. Maybe he could get used to this strange man verbally adoring him for a little longer.

I[’M HOWLIN THIS IS SOO GAY I[’VE BEEN FUCKIN BLESSED TONIGHT

Im sorry but the fact that camila changed the lyrics from citc from the the thing about dying w/o her and never meeting another so pure and used him instead is shady af cuz if she was really singing it from 2 people’s perspectives she would have had absolutely no problem with singing it. Loved the performance even tho it was a bit shaky but overall it was a good effort i just dont get the issue with singing the ORIGINAL lyrics i really don’t


I don’t get it either, and something doesn’t add up. She could have used “him” instead of “her” to keep the performance GP friendly (straight) so there are no misinterpretations. I mean the song is already on her album/video and “HER” is practically engraved on it. Possibilities:  it was done on purpose to preserve the song performance to hetero-normative standards or create discussions.  🤷

Logan Review (may contain spoilers)

Rating: 4/5

So, I saw Logan yesterday and I have to say that it is by far the best Wolverine film! The storyline was really captivating and different to other superhero films. There was more emotion which also worked really well in this film.

The acting was phenomenol in this film. As usual, Hugh Jackman and Patrick Stewart performed at a high standard, especially Hugh Jackman in the more emotional scenes. But the highlight has to be Dafne Keen who played Laura/X-23 and I would compare her performance to Millie Bobby Brown’s as Eleven in Strange Things. Dafne played X-23 with great emotion and I look forward to seeing her in other films.  The dynamic between Xavier and Logan was also fun to watch.

However, at times I thought some of the violence was a bit unnecessary even though it was an R-rated film and this is coming from someone who usually likes the violent scenes, and at times I thought the storyline was a bit slow.

But overall, I really enjoyed the film and the ending was a very fitting way for Hugh Jackman to hang up the claws. I would definitely recommend this film to any superhero fan.

anonymous asked:

plus he's apparently struggling to get boners...or phil is not performing up to standard in bed

tfw ur boyfriend exposes ur erectile dysfunction to 2m people on the internet :/

Sunday Respite - Mechanical Catalogue of Clockwork Creations and Constructs

Sometimes, people will just refuse to do what you want them to do for free. It’s a dour reality of the up-and-coming tyrannical overlord who dumped his Charisma stats in preference for pure power and strength. So, I present a concept unto you; what if, instead of spending all of that effort in finding willing servants and minions, you just made your own? Smart, right? No more arguments over working conditions, sweat shops, poor pay (if any), or constant employee turn-over rates due to constant adventurer infestations. The time and resources you spend in thumbing through some old books and manuals and cobbling the constructs together is time you save on negotiating contracts and conducting interviews.

Here is a brief selection of some top-of-the-line, lovingly hand-crafted golems and machines for a discriminating customer of magical prowess such as yourself.

Kitcheneer

Banton stands, arms crossed, beside the entrance of his newest kitchen. He takes in a deep breath and admires the single, granite block sitting in the centre of the room. He exhales with a smile. Footsteps rap across the stonework in the hallway behind him. He turns and hurriedly steps aside, pulling the lower draping cloth of his crimson robe out of the way. Vento, his partner, is concerned before he even enters the cold, empty room. He peers through the doorway, his stretched neck nervously followed by his narrow frame. He gestures to Banton for an explanation as to how he spent upwards of 20,000 gold on an empty room and a solid stone cube. Banton presses a finger to Vento’s lips and shushes him. He pulls his sleeves far up to his elbows and stands square to the centre. With three, sharp claps, he relaxes his stance and leans back on the wall and onto Vento’s shoulder. The cube separates into a hundred expanding compartments and slots, all revealing jointed limbs of metal tubing and springs. Each twisting arm is adorned with a piece of cutlery or cooking utensil; silver whisks, a fan of differing volumed spoons, a crystalline stew pot, and a blue-flamed torch sparked into ignition. Fully unraveled, the tinkling machine is ready to fully prepare any of fourteen-thousand recipes and ingredients within the hour.

“How would you feel about some celebratory cake? I think you’ve deserved it.” Banton says with a creeping smile to his utterly astounded and wide-eyed partner, watching every whirling, polished contraption with absolute joy.

Bouncer

This thick, wooden door of glossed timber and black-metal supports has a single ringed handle on either side. If approached by an unrecognised guest, the wood will buckle and twist to form the grouchy face of a displeased, elderly man, snarling at the intruder. It will begin to interrogate the arrival, asking for pass-phrases, code-words, or messages that they would like to leave - even stretching its mouth into a letter box for postal services. However, if the intruder is belligerent and refuses to cooperate, the door employs several defence mechanisms. If the handle is grasped for, it slides around the door, away from the reaching hand like it was playing with a child, If force is applied, the door reinforces its face with a dozen vertical, iron bars. If the door is charged, it grows its face into a barbed nest of wicked spikes to welcome the attacker with the comfort they deserve.

Mirror Image

This human-height shape of flat glass is reflective an intensely polished. It stands like a cut-out of a featureless, humanoid design, with two legs, two arms, a torso and a head. It can be instructed by its creator to perform standard, incomplex maneuvers and motions, all of which are done within two dimensions, never bending its form beyond a flat sheet. However, if asked to, the mirror itself can copy its master’s form, creating an exact, two-dimensional replica of their appearance, which will act as they wish, go where they wish, and do what they wish. If one were to circle around the image, it’d move to always face the perceiver, but changing the image they see so that it remains consistent with their position. If they were to move round the back, the mirror would simply adjust its shape and reflection so that they would think they see the master’s back and sides, rather than just the reflective face of the mirror itself.

Armsman’s Corset

A tight, compact corset of black, metallic scales and gleaming buttons ties around the lower torso of the creator. Once fully strapped in, the corset shimmers for a moment and grows a second pair of elegantly lithe arms and hands up to the shoulder, These hands are not entirely under the creator’s control and act autonomously, often to continue work whilst they sleep or protect them from harm or danger that may approach within reach. They can also be given weapons or items to utilise as best as they can so as to assist their master. They will use a bow and arrows whilst hunting, a set of cutlery whilst the master is reading, or hold a book whilst the master is eating.

Walking Forge

This giant of a construct is made from rough-worn stone. It has gnarled rough limbs that resemble dangling stalactites, toeing pointed divots into the soil wherever it wanders. In the heart of its broad, hefty chest is the open mouth of a roaring forge, holding several lengths of metal, heated orange by the flames within, ready to become blades and plate alike. Its head is a dusty, rusted anvil, with its bright, pearly eyes shining out beneath heavy, creaking eyelids, which can be removed and laid upon the ground. It follows its master around wherever she may go, humming as they walk like an echo shaking down a cavern.

Enjoy

Pixie x