perfectionist problems

My first bullet journal- yep I’m giving this a try. I bought this pretty (but plain) notebook from Muji for under $10. I’ll start customising it when I’m bored, but I’m pleased for now. 

For me, it’s incredibly hard to keep notebooks because I’m such a perfectionist. One wonky line or a spelling error will frustrate me enough to tear a page out. Confession: I did just tear a single page out of my brand new notebook. Oops.

I guess I need to constantly remind myself to find beauty in the imperfect, and it’s okay to have mistakes. But. I’ll do my best.

Until next time *blows kisses*

xxkyo

If there is anything you guys see that you think could use a bit more defining/cleaning up/changing (head only) please let me know! (the eye is not done, I deleted what I had previously in case anyone was confused about what is happening there)

Having other people’s opinions will really help me because I will literally work on this forever and still think there are things wrong with it.

You wouldn’t even be able to guess. Not with my seemingly carefree attitude, messy hair, sweats and makeup-free face. You couldn’t tell by the imperfect nature of my handwriting or the untidiness of surroundings. Sometimes I just don’t even attempt things through fear of them being imperfect. I’d rather just not try at all. When I do try, it’s 100% preplanned, it’s mapped out, it’s scheduled. Everything has to be perfect, everything has to follow plan and be exactly how envisaged. If it’s not, I have to do it again until it’s perfect. I never settle for anything less than the best.

Things that make me cringe.
  • Me:Is that the color file folder you needed? You told me blue.
  • Receptionist:This is blue.
  • Me:That's teal.
  • Receptionist:I just need any kind of blue. We don't care.
  • Me (to myself):Well I do. Teal is not blue. It is a green-blue color. On the color wheel it is between green and blue. IT IS NOT BLUE.
  • Am I the only one that would feel wrong seeing files that are supposedly organized with colors that don't match?! I would spend more money to make everything match. It's just not ok.

Whenever I get a new sketch book, I’m one of those people who will stare at the blank pages and do nothing.I will put off drawing in the moleskine sketchbook for weeks. So now, I have this clean, awesome, and unused moleskine with zero sketches.

It’s pretty amazing how powerful those first few blank pages and their potential content are, and how they can control the direction of a sketchbook. It’s equally ridiculous and amazing how much of a stopping or stalling power that can be.

So here’s to my empty moleskine next to me on my desk.. You, sir, are a powerful entity. I hope to soon vanquish you and just draw and paint.

So far to go in my giffing skills. Like, that Pompeii one took ALL DAY and also the coloring sucks. And there were so many more caps I could use, I deliberately left out Caecilius for now because I didn’t want it to be too uhurrhurr in your face but IDK there might be a subtle way to do it? I could do so much better. But time is the boss of me :-(