perfectionalism

“Oh my God, what if you wake up some day, and you’re 65 or 75, and you never got your memoir or novel written; or you didn’t go swimming in warm pools and oceans all those years because your thighs were jiggly and you had a nice big comfortable tummy; or you were just so strung out on perfectionism and people-pleasing that you forgot to have a big juicy creative life, of imagination and radical silliness and staring off into space like when you were a kid? It’s going to break your heart. Don’t let this happen.” - Anne Lamott

☆ guideposts for wholehearted living ☆

1. Cultivate Authenticity
Let go of what people think about you

2. Cultivate Self-Compassion
Let go of perfectionism

3. Cultivate a Resilient Spirit
Let go of numbing and powerlessness

4. Cultivate Gratitude and Joy
Let go of scarcity

5. Cultivate Intuition and Trusting Faith
Let go of the need for certainty

6. Cultivate Creativity
Let go of comparison

7. Cultivate Play and Rest
Let go of exhaustion as a status symbol and productivity as
self-worth

8. Cultivate Calm and Stillness
Let go of anxiety as a lifestyle

9. Cultivate Meaningful Work
Let go of self-doubt and “supposed to”

10. Cultivate Laughter, Song, and Dance
Let go of being cool and “always in control”

~ Brené Brown

☽☆☾
Venuskind

virgo are idealists at heart. and this is where the association with perfectionism comes in. it’s like virgos have a pristine idealism. to perceive the best that something can be, in put in a method to bring it into reality takes a wicked imagination and acute logic. but being mercury ruled and mutable can be confusing - just ask gemini. mercury can be deceptive, hence being known as the trickster. the mutable quality perceives multiple perspectives and can be a little unsteady. maybe the idea of what is perfect keeps changing. or he is too idealistic to feel content in reality. virgo is my favorite sign. i think they are as perfect as you could get, i wish they could see themselves the way i see them

levo.com
5 Habits That Are Secretly Causing You Major Stress—and How to Break Them
Raise your hand if by the end of the day you feel spent. Between work, home, and life, the reality is most of us end up running for most of the day. Add in the fact that as women we often have a tough time saying “no”—it’s a recipe for chaos. [Related: 10 Expert-Approved Tips to Triumph Over Summ...

Some quick and basic tips to help with procrastination, over thinking, over planning, second guessing yourself, and perfectionism. The advice is very sound :)  

anonymous asked:

what are your favorite things about Niall? I'm asking this because I love the way you talk about him, it's so endearing

like overall?

his laugh.his intelligence, his humbleness, his ability to literally talk to anyone about anything, his self deprication, his perfectionism, his cleanliness, his gross boy habits, his work ethic, his dedication to what he loves, his love for sports, the way he gets intensely obsessed with things and then quickly moves on, his love for himself, his chill attitude, the fact that he doesn’t care what ppl think about him. I love every single physical part of him, I loveeee his dry sarcastic witty sense of humor that a lot of ppl over look, I love the way he loves, his slight awkwardness, his ability to have fun doing just about anything, his drive to try new things and to be GOOD at them, his motivation, his heart.

Most perfectionists were raised being praised for achievement and performance (grades, manners, rule-following, people-pleasing, appearance, sports). Somewhere along the way, we adopt this dangerous and debilitating belief system: I am what I accomplish and how well I accomplish it. Please. Perform. Perfect.
Healthy striving is self-focused—How can I improve? Perfectionism is other-focused—What will they think?
—  Brene Brown

total nerd win this morning omg

my professor walked by my desk and like gasped and picked up my notebook and raved about my notes to the point where she held them up and told the class that they don’t need to do nearly as much as i did, but that they can learn from me

I am embarrassed but it was validating because I always put so much time into them 

Being a perfectionist is a bit of curse. It discourages me from new pursuits, because if I don’t think I’ll naturally be good at, it becomes a waste of time, To a perfectionist, the old adage of “practice makes perfect!” is an exhausting taunt. It means hours of trying, falling short of personal goals I lack the skills to accomplish at that time. It means hours, days, weeks of facing repeated failures and feelings of inadequacy with the hope that someday, after enough blood, sweat, and tears I might be passable. But even then, there’s no guarantee that, for all my effort, I’ll be good enough to be satisfied—the toxic fear of perfectionists everywhere. Adequate, okay, decent, average. These are all words that cut through a perfectionist like a knife.

But that’s the problem. Our circular torment. Truth is, a perfectionist will never be good enough. Not to them. They can received all kinds of respect and approbation from others, and people may wonder why a perfectionist is so haughty to dismiss the praise they receive. You tell them they’re talented, the scoff, “No.” You tell them what they have produced or achieved is good, and they respond with, “It’s not enough.” Our harshest critic is ourself, the one person that will never be happy. That will never be completely satisfied.

As a writer, I come across someone better and it cripples me. It makes me think, ‘All this time and effort spent amounts to nothing. I will never be anything. I’m never going to be that good. Why did I even bother? Why should I even continue? It’s all just a complete waste.” Because I’m good. But I’m not great. I’m not perfect.

Objectively, it sounds whiny. It sounds arrogant, but it is a very real struggle for the perfectionist. “Fishing for compliments” or “Being dramatic”, sometimes even, “Full of shit” comes to mind in response to our voiced insecurities. People see “good” and can’t understand why that is torture for the perfectionist. Why it isn’t “enough.”

Every day is a struggle of looking in the mirror, going about life to the best of your abilities, feeling stuck in a mediocre shell, diminished by our limitations until we are so woefully defeatist. But we work hard, all with thoughts of inadequacy swirling in the back of our minds, because we physically can’t settle for anything less than our best effort, even if we look at the finished product like “This is complete crap. What am I doing with my life?” We are seldom proud of our work, hypersensitive to criticism, easily defeated. Every little mistake is a catastrophe.

All of this is, for the most part, internal. We’re see as over-achievers, workaholics, arrogant, self-absorbed, anal retentive, neurotic…but there is a very good reason. Don’t hate us, mock us, roll your eyes as we dismiss our abilities yet again. Pity us.

Perfectionism is a miserable trait. It is the root of all my anxieties and it’s been killing my ability to write lately. I apologize to all of you for that.

DIY Tarot Challenge

With my trusty 2H by my side…

I think that’s the only shot I have at even starting this challenge, let alone finishing it. Perfectionism is a curse. 

I’ve already become bogged down in the preparation phase. Can’t start until that’s perfect. Gathering inspiration is so satisfying, I could do it all day. Can’t start until I find the perfect theme, and as soon as I think of one, 3 more replace it. I’m an idea machine!!! Okay, I found the theme, but it needs a solid base. Can’t go anywhere until that’s perfected…

It’s too easy to get sucked into perfecting each anchor placement in Illustrator. There are too many options. Too easy to undo and redo a thousand times. It’s too easy to get lost in finding the perfect pieces for collaging in Polyvore. There are too many options and it takes too long to sift through them all. I can’t physically collage because I don’t have magazines. It has to be perfect.

Maybe if I set up a structure, it will make it easier? I’ll let the deck decide which card I work on each day. But that’s not how inspiration works. And it’s not how I work. I tackle everything at once, bouncing from one thing to the next.

Perfect. Finesse. Tweak tweak tweak. Get nowhere fast.

So it will be sketches. I think. That’s the plan for now. It’s more important that I complete the concept, than perfect it. Just keep telling myself this and maybe I’ll be convinced?