perfect wash

valve concept artists didnt die inventing that perfect shade of slightly washed out red for you to go full #FF0000 on that tf2 drawing
masterlist

99% of this is smut! nsfw!
don’t repost/translate/use my stories without my permission.

Taehyung
» Zaddy one | two | three | four | five | six | seven | eight nine | ten | eleven | twelve
» Nowhere Fastone | two | three [hiatus]
» Surreptitious one | two | three [hiatus]
» Business [+Jungkook] – one | two
» Crossroads – one | two
» Nude – one | two | three
» oneshots: The Bet [+Jimin/Namjoon] |Fifteen Minutes Home for Christmas | Games
» drabbles: Nude | Annoying friend | Zaddy | Zaddy 2 | Zaddy 3 | Zaddy 4 | Zaddy 5 | Business

Jungkook
» Monster one | two | three | four | five | six | seven | eight | nine | ten
» Lightweight one | two
» Business [+Taehyung] – one | two 
» oneshots: Lollipop | Hands
» drabbles: Monster | Monster 2 | Monster 3 | Monster 4 | Forbidden | Business

Jimin
» Sin Cityone | two | three | four | five | six | seven | eight | nine
» Benefits one |two |three
» Good Boyone | two |three
» oneshots: The Bet [+Taehyung/Namjoon] | Birthday Boy [+Yoongi] |
» drabbles: Sin City | Sin City 2 | Sin City 3    

Yoongi
» oneshots: Ocean Drive | Baby, Can I?| Red Dress| Birthday Boy [+Jimin] | Take Care | King of Wishful Thinking
» Self-Controlone | two | three [completed]
» drabbles: Self-Control | King of Wishful Thinking 

Hoseok
» Forbidden – one | two | three
» drabbles: Forbidden | Forbidden 2

Namjoon
» oneshots: The Bet [+ Jimin/Taehyung] | A Favor

Jin
» oneshots: Perfect Washing Machine

Text drabbles Yoongi | Jimin

anonymous asked:

So I saw this Japanese poll online and fans were asked to vote for the Japanese male celebrity with the best skin. Turns out Yuzuru Hanyu won the poll and now I have this ridiculous headcanon that Yuuri has beautiful flawless skin. And actually, I'm pretty sure he does. East Asians are very particular about skin care, I mean, look at the super popular Korean skincare routine.

OMG I’m not surprised that Yuzuru Hanyu won! His skin is perfect and flawless! I can totally see Yuuri having beautiful skin as well, and Victor getting a little jealous over it. 

“Yuuri, how do you get your skin to be so perfect?”

“I, uh, wash my face?”

“Yes, but with what?”

“Just typical soap and water. Why?”

*Victor, throwing thousands of dollars of skincare across the room* “are yOU KIDDING ME??”

William Nylander - Show and Tell

Originally posted by mapleleafstrash

I have to be honest here, this is one of my favorite ones I’ve done so far!

Request from @leafstrashtm :  Do you think you can do a William Nylander one where you are a kindergarten teacher and he comes to the classroom and is all cute with the kids

Keep reading

Harry Potter and The Cursed Child Fic: I Am My Brother’s Keeper ( Part 1 of 4)

By: @rarity-kasket

2.6k words, G-rated

Being the son of Harry Potter isn’t easy and being the brother of James Sirius “Golden Boy” Potter doesn’t make it any better. However, as obnoxious as his brother can be, Albus wouldn’t trade him for the world. When Albus accidentally stumbles upon a secret, it threatens to break apart his already complicated and messy relationship with James.

Special thanks to @abradystrix and @autumn-of-ilvermorny being lovely human beings and beta’ing for me. If you are not following them, please flock to their awesome blogs.

Click for Part 2, Part 3, Part 4


Winter of 2020

As Albus writes his Muggle Studies essay in the Great Hall, a presence looms over him. It’s James, grinning widely with a chess set tucked under his arms. Albus spares him the briefest of glances before resuming his homework.

“I thought you went home,” Albus says.

James shakes his head, casually taking a seat at the Slytherin table.

“Change of plans, I decided to stay for the holiday.” Albus looks up from his essay as if James has grown two heads. “You don’t have to look so shocked, Al.”

“Do Mum and Dad know that you’re not coming home for Christmas?”

James waves a hand at Albus, dismissively

“I owled them days ago to let them know that I’m keeping you company as you serve out your time. You know,  for almost destroying life as we know it and ushering in a new age of Dark Magic.”

“Ha. Really funny James.” Albus says dryly as he picks up his quill and begins to write once more.

“Anyways, they were fine with it,” James says, before placing his case on the table. “How about a game of wizard chess?”

“If you haven’t noticed, I’m in the middle of an essay.”

“It can wait. You have all of the break to work on it. Live a little.” Albus stops scrawling on his parchment to look up at James suspiciously. He is met with his brother’s impenetrable grin.

“We haven’t played wizard chess together since before Hogwarts.”  Albus says. It’s been ages.

“So? What is your point?”

“So, I don’t trust it. There’s probably stink pellets or belching powder hidden away in that case.  That’s what you do.  You’re James Sirius Potter.” Albus flinches as James opens his case to reveal an ordinary chess set. James smirks smugly.

“While I appreciate that you regard me as the Prankster King–”

“That’s not what I said.” Albus interrupts.

“It was implied. However, I am seriously asking, nay,  imploring you to play wizard chess with me.” James says as he begins to set up the board. Albus sighs as he puts away his homework. James’s triumphant grin does not go unnoticed.

“I’ll play on one condition, I want information.”

“Spoken like a true Slytherin.”

“Riddle me this: we haven’t played chess together in years. Why now?” Albus watches as James’s expression grows uncomfortable, his eyes flickering away as he plays with a chess piece. It seems strange to see James so hesitant.

“I should have done this earlier, but I just didn’t know what to say after–” There is a long pause. Albus sits patiently, waiting for James to gather his thoughts. “But–I keep thinking about Craig Bowker. I keep thinking about him and you and Scorpius on the Quidditch pitch that night. And maybe I haven’t been a good brother to you lately. And I know I make fun of you all the time. I keep thinking about that night because, it could have been you, Al. I couldn’t imagine a universe where I’m not bugging the shit out of you.  A universe where we’re not brothers. And I don’t want to. I guess what I am saying is that–I’ve really missed you.”

Albus stares at his brother, paralyzed by James’s confession. Slowly, something starts to mend inside of him, like water filling in the empty spaces of a glass. Something that he didn’t realize needed fixing.

He is swirling with emotions. Doubt. Hope. Regret. Love. Albus swallows thickly. There is so much he wants to say to James.

That James is right; he hasn’t been a good brother. He should have been there. That, for the longest time, Albus has been angry with James. He’s still angry. And despite how angry he is,  despite how obnoxious and pig-headed and self-centered James is… Albus couldn’t imagine a universe where he didn’t have James as a brother either.

Instead, Albus says, “We used to be so close.”

The weight of the world is in those words.

James nudges the board towards Albus.

Suddenly, this is no longer a mere game of chess. This is a second chance.

A subtle smile tugs on Albus’s lips as he reaches across the board to grab a white chess piece.

“Do you still play black?” James grins.

“Duh. Always.”

The present, Spring of 2025

“Would you like some help with the dishes Mrs. Potter?”  Scorpius offers, after they all finish dinner.

Harry and Teddy retreat into the living room to discuss Teddy’s recent research trip to the Americas.

Ginny gives Scorpius a grateful smile. “Oh no, Scorpius. I’m sure that James or Albus would like to volunteer instead.”

“Ugh. Mum! Teddy just got back, and I wanna hear all about his trip. If Scorpius has so graciously offered to help with the dishes, who am I to deny him that pleasure?” James grins wickedly, wrapping an arm around Scorpius’s shoulder.

Rolling her eyes, Ginny shifts her gaze to Albus, who purposely avoids her eyes. He has no interest in doing dishes. Ginny sighs.

“Actually, help would be lovely Scorpius. Would you dry the dishes for me?”

“Nothing would make me happier!” Scorpius chirps, following Mrs. Potter into the kitchen.

Albus stands by the table, observing them quietly.  His mum and Scorpius work in perfect sync, washing and drying dishes. From where Albus stands, he gets the perfect view of Scorpius leaning against the counter, charming a rag to dry the dishes. With a soft smile, warmth and fondness light Scorpius’s steely eyes as he chats idly with his mum. He looks so happy, so natural and at home in the Potter household.

“Just when I thought you couldn’t get any more pathetic…” Albus flinches as James disrupts his train of thought. An irritated scowl etches itself onto Albus’s features.

“What are you talking about?”

A slow and smug grin unfurls on James’s lips as his eyes gleam with mischief.

“Oh dearest brother, you know exactly what I am referring to.”

Albus follows James’s gaze to the kitchen. Specifically, a certain blond standing in the kitchen.

“I thought you were joining Teddy and Dad in the living room.”

“Don’t try to change the subject. We are talking about what’s going on between you and a certain flatmate.” James says.

“Nothing is going on.”

“That’s exactly the problem Albus. ”

Much to Albus’s annoyance, James tucks his younger brother’s head between his elbow and ruffles his hair.

“I can help,” Surprisingly, James is sincere when he says this.

“No.”

Definitely not.

“Seriously, let me help you. You need me to help you.” James finally lets him go.

“What does that mean?” Albus scoffs. In response, James raises an eyebrow at his brother.

“I’ve seen you in action. No offense Albus, but you’re absolutely rubbish. A lost cause.”

“I’m offended.”

“I said no offense.”

“News flash James, prefacing a sentence with ‘no offense’ does not make it any less offensive.”

“Point taken.” James says.

Albus sighs. “I’m not discussing this with you.”

“Why not? Awww, is somebody embarrassed?” James coos before pinching Albus’s cheek.

“James, stop touching me!!” Albus huffs, swatting him away.

“Can’t you two get along for five minutes? What exactly is going on here?” Ginny asks with an amused grin. Scorpius stands next to her, holding a bowl of strawberries and ginger biscuits that Harry had baked earlier. He looks just as amused as Ginny. Albus feels his cheeks tinge red.

“Nothing!” Both James and Albus shout. Ginny glances between the two boys, suspicious. When she doesn’t find any evidence of wrongdoing, she sighs.

“Well then, James, help Scorpius take the strawberries and biscuits out to Teddy and your father.” When James groans, she adds, “Do you really expect Scorpius to do all the work around here? He’s our guest. The living room is a few feet away. Trust me, it won’t kill you to be a little helpful around here.”

“Guest? Seriously? Scorpius might as well be your third son.”

Albus nearly chokes on air when he hears this.

“Keep talking, and I might consider adopting Scorpius to replace my eldest son.”

James objects with “You wouldn’t dare. We all know that I’m your favorite.”

“James.” Ginny groans.

“Hey!” Albus interjects.

“I would like to point out that you didn’t deny it. It’s okay, mum. It’ll be our little secret.” James says, winking.

“James Sirius Potter! Living room now!”

“Can’t stay out of trouble for five minutes, can you, Jamie?” Teddy resurfaces, taking a strawberry slice and popping it in his mouth as he ruffles James’s hair. The tips of James’s ears grow red as he tries to dodge Teddy’s hand.

“Ugh, Teddy, you’re ruining my hair!” James groans.

“It was already messy before I even touched it. What do you care anyway? Hot date tonight?” Teddy grins, and James’s face grows redder.

Watching Teddy harass James brings a wide grin to Albus’s face. It’s fun to watch. Teddy, the only person in the world that can get under James’s skin, has a soft spot in Albus’s heart.

“I could,” James grumbles.

Scorpius interrupts.

“I hope you don’t mind Teddy, but I wanted to hear more about your adventures in America. Did you really attend a lecture given by Newt Scamander?” Scorpius asks, his eyes sparkling with curiosity. Albus can’t help but shake his head at his best friend’s typical nerdiness.

“Yeah, he gave a lecture on the mating habits of the Thunderbird. And afterward, he signed my latest edition of ‘Fantastic Beasts and Where to Find Them’. I have my copy with me if you want to look at it.”

“Would I ever! Incredible! The mating habits of the Thunderbird? I’m intrigued. What did he have to say?” Scorpius asks.

Later that evening, Albus and Scorpius return to their flat together.

“I really enjoy this Sunday dinner tradition. I thought tonight went stupendously! What do you think?”  Scorpius asks Albus, smiling warmly as he peels off his jacket and hangs it on the coat rack. Albus shrugs in response before plopping down on their sofa. He tells himself not to get too comfortable there.

“I think Mum is ready to adopt you and trade in James and me.” This makes Scorpius’s smile grow brighter. Albus watches Scorpius knock off his shoes before joining him on the sofa.

“Teddy is splendiferous! I can’t believe that he met Newt Scamander! And he gets to travel and work with all of these cool magical beasts! How long is he here for?”

“Two weeks, so don’t get too attached to him. He’s staying at James’s flat until he leaves for Romania to study dragons with Uncle Charlie.”  Albus says as he slips off his own socks and shoes.

“Merlin’s beard! That’s fantastic!” Scorpius says with awe and adoration.

“Should I be worried that you might replace me with Teddy?” Albus laughs as Scorpius ducks his head in embarrassment.

“No one could ever replace you, Albus. Sure, Teddy is amazing, but you–” Scorpius says quietly before he falters.  

Albus wonders what Scorpius was going to say before he stopped himself. He never gets to ask because a roar of their fireplace interrupts them.

“Hello, Scorpius. Hello, Albus.” Rose greets them, stepping out of their heart. Despite having traveled by floo, she looks practically untouched by the soot. She dusts one of her shoulders off, but Albus thinks that she only does it out of formality. “I’m glad that I caught you. How was dinner?” She asks before making herself comfortable in a chair.

“Nice of you to drop by, Rose,” Scorpius says. “It went swimmingly actually. Teddy is back in town, and Harry made his famous biscuits. You should join us next Saturday.”

“Thanks for the invitation, but it seems like a Potter exclusive tradition. I would hate to intrude.”

“Scorpius goes to them, and he’s not a Potter.” Albus points out.

“It’s only a matter of time,” Rose says, smirking at Albus, who blanches at her comment. Scorpius laughs it off.

“Yeah, I think Mrs. Potter plans to adopt me as her third son.” He jokes. “So, how are things? Chudley Cannon practices?”

“Practices are great, and I think with me on the team, we have a real shot at the Quidditch Cup this year.” Albus snorts at this.

“Rose, it’s the Chudley Cannons. They never win. No one understands why you went to them when you could have had your pick of the league.”

“Yes, and you’re talking to the greatest Chaser of this generation. We’re going to win the cup this year,” Rose says, puffing out her chest proudly.

“How is Yann?” Scorpius asks.

Albus sees her thinking before her confidence fades, and she sinks into her chair.

Weird. It’s not a typical response from the ever confident Rose Granger-Weasley.

“He finally asked me out,” she says.

Both Scorpius and Albus sit up a little more in their seats.

“That’s great!” Scorpius exclaims.

At the same time, Rose says, “I turned him down.”

“You did?” Scorpius asks, and Rose shrugs her shoulders nonchalantly.

“I did.”

“But you really liked him.”

“It’s not going to work out.” She says flippantly. It confuses Albus. “After all, I foresee potential awkwardness with us being on rival Quidditch teams.”

“Yeah right,” Albus snorts. Rose narrows her eyes at Albus and cocks her head to the side.

“What does that mean?” Rose baits, raising a finely shaped eyebrow.

“It means that you do this all the time. It’s the same excuse with every guy. ”

“I find it so ironic that you of all people are giving me romantic advice when you have never had a date in your life.” Rose shoots back, and Albus looks down at his lap, red-faced.

Sensing the start of tension,  Scorpius redirects their conversation to light chatter. They talk about dinner, the Muggle University that Albus now attends, and Scorpius latest adventure working at St. Mungo’s. When it gets late, Rose floos back to her own flat.

”I’m tired. I’m going to bed.” Albus stands and yawns. “Are you staying up to study?”

“Yep, they have me in the Magical Bugs and Diseases ward tomorrow. So I’m going to do a little reading to brush up on dragon pox.” Scorpius replies, pulling a thick medical textbook into his lap. Albus quirks an eyebrow.

“Light reading? Scorpius, this is a huge textbook about magical illnesses.”

“I know, I never get sick of reading it,” Scorpius says before he bursts into laughter.

Albus rolls his eyes at the pun. “I walked right into that one.” He says flatly.

“Ya-huh!”

“Don’t stay up too late, even uber geeks like you need their beauty rest. And actually try to make it to your bed tonight.” Albus smirks as Scorpius’s cheeks grow warm and pink.

“I’ve only fallen asleep on the sofa once or twice.”

“Or five or six times.” Albus teases as he retreats towards the hallway. “Night, Scorpius.”

“Goodnight, Albus.”

When Albus wakes later that night, he gathers the blanket from his bed before drifting into the living room.

Scorpius is asleep on their sofa once more, limbs dangling off the side and his face pressed in a book. Albus smiles before he carefully extracts the book from under Scorpius’s cheek and tosses a thick blanket over him.

Albus gently brushes a few stray strands of hair from Scorpius’s face. The strands are feathery soft against the tips of his fingers.

He thinks about his conversation with James earlier that evening.

“James is right. I’m a lost cause,” Albus says quietly.

He could think of a thousand reasons of why Scorpius and he wouldn’t work. A thousand ways that he would screw this up. He isn’t as kind as Scorpius. Or as confident as Rose. Or as perfect as James.

“You’re going to make someone very happy one day,” Albus whispers quietly.

Maybe not him, but someone more deserving.

“Goodnight, Scorpius,” Albus says before he retires to his bed.

Bella on Beauty for British Vogue

SKINCARE:

I’m not even just saying this – I know I’m a walking Dior commercial – but I love the Dior Hydra Life Lotion-To-Foam Fresh Cleanser, it’s the green one. It’s the perfect foamy face wash. So I use that and then I’ll moisturise with the Hydra Life Fresh Hydration Sorbet Crème because it’s really light – it feels like you have nothing on. My face is always so dry, so it sucks up all the moisture. Then if I’m doing proper hair and make-up I’ll use the Glow Better Fresh Jelly Mask first. It just kind of plumps your skin up and makes it super moist and sort of tightens it… I don’t know what it does or how, but it’s something incredible.

BEAUTY INSPIRATIONS:

I love Elizabeth Taylor’s make-up – that was always beautiful. Anybody old-school from like the Fifties to the Nineties. There was always an iconic moment. Growing up I never really wore a lot of make-up so it wasn’t something I really looked at back then. I was a horse girl so I was more like, “what riding boots are those?” rather than wondering what make-up they were wearing. But since about age 18 I’ve loved keeping a simple look, and the Nineties supermodels always did that so well. All my inspirations end up going back to the big Nineties girls. Clean skin, a great brow… Christy Turlington, I mean, stop. It’s insane. Her face… it’s crazy, she’s too perfect.

MAKEUP:

I usually do concealer under the eyes, on my chin and around the nose, and then always a good bronzer and a good brow. That’s my top three for everyday. I love my natural freckles and just keeping a natural look. And I love mascara. What’s so amazing about the Dior Pump’n’Volume Mascara is that it looks like you’re wearing false lashes. It’s a perfect mascara. I always do a top lash, but I rarely put mascara on my bottom lashes. But with this mascara I’ve started doing my bottom lashes and it really opens up your eyes. And I always use a curler. With or without mascara, you always gotta curl.

ULTIMATE BEAUTY SECRET:

I love my Dior Lip Glow. The whole range. The balm is amazing, you can’t go wrong, but I love the Lip Glow Pomade - it’s a lot glossier. Then there’s also the Lip Maximizer which I love – it gives a little plump in your lip which is always nice for a night out. It’s literally magic. I mean, if I leave the house without it I freak out. I’m like, “I need someone to bring it to me”.

FITNESS:

It’s hard with my schedule – every time I go somewhere I’m like “can you send me a pair of Nikes? I forgot my shoes!” I always forget something. But even this morning I went and swam in the pool, just to keep moving. When I’m home I like to train harder than usual. I haven’t really worked out a lot since the last VS show. My trainer always calls once he knows I’m in town. Like “I know you’re back, where are you?” And I’m like “sleeping?!”. But when I have the time and energy I’ll go. I love doing abs and ass, and getting my blood pumping. Running around keeps most of my body in check but I eat really badly when I’m travelling because I can’t help myself. It’s my comfort.

Dating Hoseok would include:

Originally posted by jaayhope

.. JHOOOOOPE

.. what it’s like to live with the actual sun.

.. I mean he is the reason plants photosynthesis and his laugh is the reason flowers bloom.

.. Why does hoseok have to be so perfect?

.. so you’re probs washing the dishes or something and he wraps you in a backhug and the moment in ruined when he whispers something weird in your ears please go kill yourself.

.. dances girl group dances better than you ever will be able to and you still wonder why you find that fact unbelievably funny.

.. because this balanced, mature adult on screens is just happy gumball.

.. hoseok is the sweetest most thoughtful human to exist, if you fell asleep on his lap he would endure the hours of sitting in an excruciatingly painful position so he won’t disturb your peaceful nap.

.. my princess, that’s his name for you. Whether its on his phone or in public, hobi doesn’t care.

.. his laugh may be the reason for your never ending joy but it’s the same the other way around.

.. He’ll always be trying to make you laugh, because that just makes his heart grow wings.

.. cuddles with hobi is a must, he can come home tired af and his refuge is your arms.

.. good morning calls that brighten your day when his away because he is thoughtful and caring like that, and good night ones that last 2 hours past your bedtime.

.. always seeking your attention, like you can be playing with chimchim and he butts in like I wanna play too, but he keeps jumping in no matter how many times you tell him to shoo away.

.. so many surprises. It can vary from something incredibly romantic like making you breakfast in bed or taking you out for a fancy dinner at the most expensive restraunt.

.. it really shows the most at special events like anniversaries or birthdays because he can be unstoppable when it comes to buying expensive presents.

.. always taking care of you, like checking if you had some food or if you’re tired and he just feels like it’s his responsibility to check on you no matter how responsible you were.

.. he can be all fluff and skittles but don’t you dare frown ww3 is breaking.

.. I can defiantly see him taking you on like fast food dates, late at night. Like he rings you up at 12 midnight for a burger or something.

.. “I’ll dance for you princess”

.. always taking your opinion on stuff, how he looks, the new song, the interview, it really matters to him.

.. visits to the practise room that turns to intense makeout sessions because don’t expect me to keep my hands to myself when you roll that body like that.

.. and he feels the exact same way towards you so now his hands are roaming all over your body.

.. There is no clothes stealing with hoseok because he seriously is the one to give them to you, scented with his cologne and all because you need something to wrap in when I am not around.

.. HUSKY MORNING VOICE!

.. SHOWERING YOUR FACE IN FEATHERY KISSES ALL OF A SUDDEN AND PLAYING WITH YOUR HAIR UNCONSCIOUSLY STOP HIM!!

.. lazy dates when you two are just laying on the couch, popcorn littering the pair of you, messy hair and shared clothes, talking about the most random stuff on earth and laughing so hard it’s inaudible.

.. his pure heart swells with joy and pride when you passionately talk about something like yes that’s my girl everyone slay them babe.

.. he is actually going to say that all the time.

.. you and suga would constantly fight over him dear lord. You’ll be shoving the spoon at his mouth from one side and suga on the other and he is sandwiched in between like I love you both this is too much pressure.

.. human joy machine and stress reliever, if you ever had a bad day, our ray of light will brighten it up to the max and you just appreciate it so much.

.. dammit that happy virus is infectious.

.. Defiantly one to stare at you with a full smile on his face, he just zones out admiring your beauty, so after a while he can’t keep that to himself and he scoops you up in his arms like never leave me baby girl, no care for anyone in the room.

.. Jung Hoseok, the most beautiful man to live and breathe is a blessing ya’ll I can’t function properly right here. If you are his spacial one, he is going to offer his best and more with pleasure.

@peanutpollino:  I’ve always been kind of self conscious about the way my face looks when I laugh- like a thousand chins appear, my nose crinkles, and my eyes disappear into my face. 😶 I always wanted one of those *perfect Neutrogena commercial face washing smiles* but I’ve recently come to terms with the fact that I look genuinely happiest when I’m laughing the hardest. We are sooo incredibly critical of ourselves and our appearances, but it’s important to remember our exterior appearance is nothing without our interior presence. Happy hump day, folks. Discover something new that you love about yourself today!

anonymous asked:

I can almost pretend that the blue suit hand reaching for the sweater hand is Hannibal & Will! Hanni's first suit in the show as a therapist is almost the same color combination as this one!

Sameeeee honestly as much as I would love for the two of them to be afforded a gorgeous and surreal sexytimes scene, if something like this happened between them in season 4

it would quench all thirsts I have ever known until the end of my days. It would cure my depression and extinguish my anxiety and clear my skin and grow my hair and nails and apply my eyeliner in a perfect wing that never washes away. It would–OKAY I THINK YOU GET MY POINT IT WOULD BE THE END AND ALSO THE BEGINNING OF ME AND I NEED IT MORE THAN AIR TBH.

My Waters Below My Hills.

2.5.2017

Give up your waters woman, become but a husk so that you are remade from your dust. 

When I was little, I had a series of spells that would plague me at night. I would choke on my own breathe, until it felt like my body has closed itself up to world around me. Usually happening between the moments when I was just about to wake up from sleep, my body would seize as if I was stuck on the threshold of dreaming and waking. 

Here I would have visions as my eyes welled up with tears and my mouth opened in silent gasps, screaming out for the deaths that are yet to come in my family. Until my parents would come rushing through the doors, and I would gulp down honey water to choke me awake with the sudden sweetness. 

The sensation of losing your breath is as if you are becoming nothing, swimming through nothing, seeing nothing. Slowly.

When I was very little, I almost died. One of my lungs collapsed at night while I was sleeping, and liquid began to fill my throat till I could barely gulp down air. My mother heard me gasping in my cradle beside her bed, and rushed me to the Emergency Room.

Last night, I couldn’t stop drinking water and then expelling my waters until the flow became crystal clear. There came a knowing in my body that it was time for another passage into the world below and back. I filled my copper basin that have collected the ashes of my ceremonies for the past months with cold water from the tap, and sitting it in a triangle of wooden staves, floated a white candle in its depths. 

My body heats, and morphs, and changes as my skin transforms serpentine, grow scales, wings of white feathers sprouting from my back, my breathing becomes none existent and this time I let it. For I know it is the mothers sitting with me.

I fall asleep to the light of my white candle, my fetch swimming through the oceans in my soul, waiting for the dream to come, to incubate as so many of us have done in temples and cells and caves and arbours in all the days before and after us. 

You may see yourself swimming down a lake or well. You will see yourself pass through more layers or doors than you have ever thought possible, usually involving an increasing sense of claustrophobia or pressure as you get deeper and deeper. Eventually you will find yourself very close to the heart of the spiral, the ‘eye of the storm’ where things are weaved and unweaved. You will need to pass through and to do so you will need to be able to let go of everything of you that is mortal. You will also be stripped of the illusion of ‘up’ and ‘down’ and come to realize that in travelling ‘down to the bottom’ you have also reached the height of heights and are now in the stars.

- Lee Morgan’s A Deed Without A Name, page 133, from the chapter “The Water Below The Hills”.

As I woke up in the world of sleeping, I found myself inside the houses of my mothers. First I was in a small cottage by the Bayous of Louisiana, Maria making gumbo and fish head stew with black bread. The scent of her spices fill the tiny house with memories I didn’t know I had. She sprinkles a powder into my bowl of stew and whispers a prayer I can’t hear. “Time to meet your maker”, she says to me, and I think it’s my time to die. 

“Not like that baby”, she responds, “You got more than one maker”.

I take the bowl into my hands, and as I take my first dip and bit, the scenes around me shift. 

Now I am on the banks of a river, the earth yellow with minerals and nutrients rubbing warm dust beneath me. Around me are tents filled with women, they point to the rushing waters crashing against the jagged rocks, and tell me to get closer or I’ll never swim to shore. The bitter waters splash against my face, tasting of green things and ash. I am stripped down into my scales and fins, and dipping into the waters, my vision goes black. 

When I can see again, I am in my middle school classroom in China. Before me is stretched rolls and rolls of paper, and I am spending an eternity writing out line after line. My middle school teacher, stern, manipulative, who in one breath can weep in front our parents for our supposed failures and then scream and hit us with her ruler behind their backs, stood looming over me. I pick up my pen, and begin to write as I always have in the past, never stopping until the alarm clock wakes me up from my slumber.

Time to meet your maker baby.

Is she my maker? I wonder to myself, this woman who was my mother for most days when my own mother left me there in that institution each morning, and came to pick me up late at night. Was she my maker? This stern, cruel woman who’s images blurs with that of my mother’s, with that of the many teachers before her who attempted to drill into my head a mother tongue I was suppose to know but could never quiet get the handle of. I feel my arms and run my hands over the cruel lines left behind by her stings and pinches and slaps and wrenching. 

I look at the rough, thin paper under my hands, my pen scratching out symbols and characters I can no longer remember the meanings of. 

No sun shone through the windows, everything was dark except for that single fluorescent light that shone above our heads. 

Her shadow creeps through every corner of the wall, running against the lines of chalkboards that surround us, imposing their dark shadows against my body.

All those years of repetition, of stolen consent, of silenced voices. I did something I didn’t know I could do, and had never done in previous dreams like the one I am having now, in that claustrophobic classroom with that imposing teacher. 

I put down my pen, I walk up to her, I look her in the eye, and I say, firmly, quietly, “no”.

And I walk away.

She weeps as the alarm sounds and my eyes open to the sun streaming through my window, cascading onto the sea of plants lining my room.

Give up your waters woman. I did. Become but a husk so you can be remade from your dust. Was I ever a mother? Was I ever in past lives a woman with a uterus who didn’t need to hide behind the masculinity she was assigned at birth because of her genitalia? Did I ever feel the sensation of pushing life out from between the lips of my legs, feeling a piece of me slip out of my body, into my arms? Or given away to another? Or take herbs poisonous to this life suckling in my womb so that I wouldn’t need to do this?

I look to the mothers of my line, and they gently move my head to look forward into the future. 

Some things do not need to be carried with you for all the lives you will live love.

The spirit of a child I didn’t know I had been carrying within my belly laughs and gurgles with joy.


Backstory. When I was nine years old my parents told me that we were going back to China for a summer vacation. After packing our bags and taking that arduous fourteen hour plane ride back home, we began looking for elementary schools in my area a week after we landed. We didn’t come back to Canada for five years. I was placed in local elementary schools with a series of abusive homeroom teachers. They were the mothers that my own mother refused to protect me from. They placed their hands without my consent onto my body, their fingers digging into my mind against my will.

Shaping me, gaslighting me, manipulating me into the perfect little brain washed, teacher fearing, government fearing student that the communist regime in China desired from every family at the time.

I could never say no.

These past few nights have been my beginnings and continuations in correcting that mistake of the past. 

Bella On Beauty

On skincare

I’m not even just saying this – I know I’m a walking Dior commercial – but I love the Dior Hydra Life Lotion-To-Foam Fresh Cleanser, it’s the green one. It’s the perfect foamy face wash. So I use that and then I’ll moisturise with the Hydra Life Fresh Hydration Sorbet Crème because it’s really light – it feels like you have nothing on. My face is always so dry, so it sucks up all the moisture. Then if I’m doing proper hair and make-up I’ll use the Glow Better Fresh Jelly Mask first. It just kind of plumps your skin up and makes it super moist and sort of tightens it… I don’t know what it does or how, but it’s something incredible.

On her beauty sins

I do sleep in my make-up sometimes but I always wake up at 2am, freaking out and feeling completely guilty about it. My body knows! So I’ll get up, wash my face, moisturise and go back to sleep because I hate waking up in the morning with make-up on – it’s the most horrible feeling. But I’m usually a good girl about taking my make-up off at night.

On make-up

I usually do concealer under the eyes, on my chin and around the nose, and then always a good bronzer and a good brow. That’s my top three for everyday. I love my natural freckles and just keeping a natural look. And I love mascara. What’s so amazing about the Dior Pump’n’Volume Mascara is that it looks like you’re wearing false lashes. It’s a perfect mascara. I always do a top lash, but I rarely put mascara on my bottom lashes. But with this mascara I’ve started doing my bottom lashes and it really opens up your eyes. And I always use a curler. With or without mascara, you always gotta curl.

Keep reading

So now that we have Lightning doing Louis Vuitton commercials can we finally have:

  • Sephiroth as the new face of L'oreal  ( “Believe me, I put my hair through alot everyday! *shot of him in burning Nibelheim* And look at this shine! Crazy!”)
  • Cid starring in a series of funny Lipton tea commercials just going “Shut up and drink your *blip* tea” at the end
  • Zack doing Calvin Klein underwear
  • And Cloud making men worldwide question their sexuality by doing this

“You wouldn’t have made the team if you were unimpressive, Washington. You’re more than capable. You’re one of the best. And you’re on my team now. My team is the best.” She pointed to the picture of Ari looking put-upon on his old skateboard. “I like this one.”

(x)

i love dying

I could not have known
a key would be placed upon
my altar

Go, a voice said
Do as you dream

I took the key and ran with it
Securely it was held within my palm

I ran as if I had endless energy
I ran until I had crossed the span
Of an entire lifetime
Until I came before a body of water
I had never laid eyes upon

I had not realized up until this moment
how heavy the key had felt in my head
(Possession belongs to the whispers
of God) —A door appeared
An imperial door filigreed gold
washed in perfect red
Blocking me from the water…
The water…

I opened my palm
The key gleamed
and with it
I knew where it belonged

This key
The bridge between
yesterday and tomorrow
And forever

Past the threshold
my body soon submerged
Peacefully the door vanished but
The key appeared cushioned
in the center of my heart

10

Endless Firefly gifsets [1/?]

- He’s insane.

- I know it.

- I mean… you’ve told the damn
stories. Saved you in the war. But
I… I didn’t know…

- You mean Mal?

-  He’s crazy.

now that I think about it the e.m.p armor enhancement is perfect for wash he’s a combat engineer and their main job is to clear/create obstacles to make it easier for the team to advance/complete the objective and eliminate the target(s) (examples include: radios, communication getting cut off, power cuts, system shutdowns ahhhh so many options)