perfect things that will never be god why do i do this to myself

To my Valentine, I love you.
—  I shouldn’t start a love letter with an apology, but I think you’ll come to find it sincere. I’m sorry that I couldn’t be the first person to kiss you, the first time someone kissed my lips I understood that to love is to be in pain– but my sister had to explain that love shouldn’t hurt, it should be painless. The light breeze while you’re outside exploring the city during spring kind of feeling. I’m sorry that I couldn’t be the first person to hold you, the first person to hold my hands said that I shouldn’t regret anything or anyone because in this moment? This very second… you wanted it with every part of your being. It doesn’t matter in the end, the only thing that matters is the journey. The road that led you to me will ultimately lead you back to yourself. I’m sorry that I won’t be the first person to make you feel love. The ocean is a heart and I’ve been building a sandcastle that’s tall enough to seek you out. I’m sorry that I won’t be the one you’ll show off to your mother. I’m sorry that you’ll think about me when sleep is close to impossible. Valentine’s Day no longer holds value to me. I’ve been doing some thinking lately about who I am as a writer and what it means to say I love you. To love someone enough to let them go. To love someone enough to tell them to grow without you. To love someone enough that you’re willing to explain the reasons as to why it won’t work just yet. To love yourself enough to come to terms with it. One day someone’s going to treat you better than I ever will. One day someone’s going to ask you to marry him. One day someone’s going to have your smile. One day someone’s going to leave you love letters near the kitchen sink. One day someone’s going to pretend to spoon feed you during dinner and pull you in for a kiss. One day someone’s going to write poems for you and mean it when he says I want you to be mine forever. One day someone’s going to be right beside you. He’ll be right there. By your side, as the sun hits your curtains and you’re struggling to get out of bed– he’ll swing those curtains open and jump scare you. He’s going to sing for you while you’re in the shower. He’ll hold you while you’re having nightmares. He’ll reason with you intellectually if you’re ever in a dispute about art and poetry. He’ll walk you down that aisle and never think twice. He won’t do drugs and he’ll be healthy. He won’t smoke cigarettes and he won’t be perfect, but my god, he’ll make you forget about me. You’re stubborn and hard headed, you’re just like me. You’re smart and colorful down to the bristles of your soul. As an artist and a writer, we are compelled to chase after a love story fitting to declare war upon ourselves. You’re going to paint his life like how I’ve done for you. He’s going to squeeze your palms and ask for a dance. He’s going to hold your hips and ask for a walk. The moon will be out and you’ll enjoy your night. Love screams from a multidimensional place– I’ve seen seen love crash and burn. I’ve seen love destroy and rebuild. I’ve seen love light enough to blind us from ever seeing the truth. I’ve seen a love that’s frightening. I’ve seen terror within the night– you’re only sober if it feels right. I’ve seen who I am and I’m still lost. Some words cost us an eternity of apologies. Some feelings never leave us, even if the people do. You’re more than what I can ask for, you’re more than you know. We’ve been down this road before. Some day we’ll forget about who we are today, some day we’ll change forever. Some day you’ll understand the why, some day you’ll find the who, some day he’ll bring you to the where, some day he’ll show you what’s in his heart, and you’ll realize about the how. I’m still searching for myself– I’m falling deeper into a sea that isn’t designed for swimming. I’m stuck in a place that only has room for one person. Do you ever feel like there’s something wrong with the way that we are? Something’s always missing in the daily routine, there’s something broken inside of my head. Love letters sprinkled with heartfelt laughter– I wish I could give you that. I only want the best for you even if that person isn’t me.
Bet On Me

Reggie x Reader

A/N: This is my first ever fic and I hope you all like it!! Requests for all other Riverdale characters are open!! (This is my first fic because Reggie is bae)

Word Count: 3369

Warnings: Swearing, slight angst, violence, heavy make-out session (is that even a warning?)

Summary: Reggie is dared to date Y/N, the sweet and popular untouched cheerleader. He does so, although not expecting to fall for her in the process.

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[TRANS] NYLON Magzine April Issue with NCT 127 — Ment

TAEIL
“When I was a high school student, I somewhat wanted to become a zookeeper. Since I really like animals, I wanted to take care of the animals in my neighbourhood. But after a bit of research, I gave up. The competition rate is high. Somehow, I became an idol where the competition is even more intense, haha. There are two happiest moments in my life, when I passed the SM Audition and when it was confirmed that I will debut with NCT. When I passed the audition, I was so happy I screamed, and when it was confirmed that I will debut, I bursted into tears. Especially when they confirmed my debut, really… I cried and cried until my eyes were puffy. Do you understand this feeling? It’s like there is a clear, bright flamelight somewhere over there, I know there is a bright world, but I feel like I’m just as in the dark as before. I have lived as a trainee for about three years and a half, every day I had this feeling, the moment it was announced that I am going to debut, it was like crawling out of a lonely tunnel. A world filled with bright and golden light, as if El Dorado unfolded in my life. That was a year ago, but even to this day, I still feel good and bewildered. Sometimes when I go on holidays, it really amazes me how on the streets and in shops I go to, there are people who recognise me. I am still inexperienced and I will work hard. Until I am like ‘Super Junior’s Kyuhyun Hyung… I envy his calm personality as well as his sweet voice and abilities. I also want to have his sense of security (stability). It would be a sense of security to be able to have both experience and skill. “

JOHNNY
“I am Johnny from Chicago. Compared to New York, Chicago is quieter and more relaxed. It’s a city where nothing is too hasty but not overly relaxed, this is why I like Chicago. The fact that I come from Chicago is very important, doesn’t the environment shape a person? I want to be someone who will never forgot where they come from, and I try to keep my wish. I’ve been living in Korea for four to five years now. It feels like I have matured a bit after living in Korea for a while. During this time, I have learned to not only think about myself and to respect the grown-ups. It also made me reflect on the importance of ‘myself’. Idols live in the eyes of others and are obligated to live up to their standards. Under such environments, to avoid losing focus, I have to remember who I am. I constantly think about the questions ‘who am I?’ and ‘what kind of person am I?’. I, Johnny, like DJing and playing the piano. I also wish to become a warm (kind) person, and someone who gives other people strength. My ultimate goal is to become a person who, even though is standing still, can still show their great personality. I am still very much flawed, but please believe that I will become that person. “

TAEYONG
“It’s NCT’s leader, Taeyong. NCT127 gave me a lot. I got a job called (being an) idol, I came into the company and met a lot of nice adults, most of all, I made a lot of friends. To me, the members are my best friends. Although I am the leader, rather than me leading the members, there are more times when they helped me. When I was young, I could paint and play the piano, I had a good reputation for expressing myself, and I often received praises, but it wasn’t easy for me to get close to people quickly. Do you like films by Studio Ghibli? I really like them, but the main characters in these films, why are they slightly different from others, they live alone and are lonely, but if you get to know, they are all good people. I’m talking about characters like Howl in ‘Howl’s Moving Castle’. I think I’m that kind of character, after we became NCT I have eight friends. I am grateful. Still, the times that I spend alone are also very important to me. Therefore, no matter how busy I am, when schedules finish I go to the training room alone and dance or practice singing and tidy my thoughts. I think that having time alone has the power of helping me grow and endure the pressure of busy schedules and life as an entertainer. It is my goal to continue to express the days I have lived, the days a youth lived, through rap and music, and after gaining a lot of experience and knowledge, I have a dream of becoming an adult. I want to be a real grown-up who can help and guide the way for the juniors.”

YUTA
“I have this phrase I always say whenever I introduce myself “I’m manly mountain man Yuta”. I really like mountains. In Japanese, the pronunciation of ‘mountain’ and 'top’ is the same. That’s why I’m manly mountain man Yuta. Ah, I really like mountains. Before debut, whenever there was time to spare, I used to go to Bukhansan, Namsan-dong and every mountain in Seoul City alone, whether big or small. Whenever I’m at the mountains, my mind feels like it has been cleaned and I feel at ease. I thought of becoming a singer because of TVXQ sunbaenim. I wanted to become a soccer player when I was young. But after watching TVXQ, everything changed. They were really cool and they felt like gods to me… But after debuting, it’s harder than I thought it would be. Above all,  there’s no free time, I don’t have time to go to my favorite mountains anymore… One day when I was in a lot of stress I asked our EXO sunbaenim “Until when will this be hard?” they answered it will take three years to give up everything and I firstly will need work to my fullest. That advice gave me strength, I thought 'Ah, our Hyungs also went through a lot of hardship’  and this made my heart feel more at ease.
But whenever I’m tired, I’d like to watch sports documentaries. Soccer players in the A-League have to repeat the same strategy for years to improve their own skill. When I look at it, I think of their 'professional spirit’ and I want to become a person like that too. After all, everything is a fight against yourself. Whenever I don’t feel like practicing or just want to laze around. I think it’s important to keep pushing myself. Like this, I want to keep moving forward one step at a time. It’s just like climbing a mountain.”

DOYOUNG
I have an episode (story) that shows well what kind of person I am. When I was in elementary school I wanted to eat an ice cream so I went and bought it but
a car had rolled over my legs. But, I never let go of my ice cream for even one moment. Even when going to the hospital and arriving in the emergency room, I still held on to my ice cream tightly. In the end, I couldn’t eat my ice cream because it all melted. But this shows that when there’s a thing I really like, I tend to only think about that thing. Right now, I’m struck by our team’s music. The music I can do alone and the music and voices I can do when the 9 of us are together are definitely different. Nowadays, I think a lot about what kind of music our team would fit best. I don’t want to do just common things. Music is a 'proof of existence’ to me. Since I was young, I really liked singing but my parents never really told me 'good job’. To prove my ability, I started to participate in singing competitions. And when I was in high school, I went to the singing contest hosted by the province and got the first prize. That’s when my family started to acknowledge my singing ability. Since then, music has always seemed to give me a feeling of “this is it.” I don’t really have a role model, but I want to be a vocalist who can be recognized after singing just a single line. Like Adam Levine or Lyn sunbaenim. By the way, do you know Lyn’s song 'Love U. . Love U’? You should have a listen. It’s a song accompanied by a piano with delicate vocals

JAEHYUN
“ When I was young, at home I would frivolously laugh well and would have a talkative personality but strangely at school words wouldn’t come out. I’m also shy and somehow felt like I should stay quiet too… That’s why I spent a lot of time alone and my 4th grade elementary school teacher recommended extracurricular activities. I then realized the joy of standing in front of people for the first time doing variety of activities. I think the joy I felt at that time made me do it today. In fact, it’s still nice and fun to be standing in front others and not being burdened. However, it’s hard when I’m not as strong as I expect. Even if you practice but your skills don’t change, do something else. If you can’t dance, sing, when singing falls into a slump, you can watch a movie… Then a moment to be okay will come. I realized as I went many time through that process that I was interested in dancing, singing, movies and so on. That’s what I’m all about. Eventually, it’s obvious but it’s true that you have to be a good person to be a great artist. Being known is nice and receiving love is nice too but I want to be a better person. Someone who doesn’t deceive, someone who is confident of himself. And after a decade, he continues to endlessly finding out what he likes diligently, I want to be someone who continues to enjoy. A person who doesn’t lose his enthusiasm for what he does, that’s the kind of person I find cool. “ \

WINWIN
“ I’m Winwin from China. I have a deep fear of strangers. I’m also more of the shy type. However, if we’re close then I’m a completely different person. I play around a lot… NCT members all tease me for being a “heodang” (T/N: someone who looks perfect but acts stupid) Ah, furthermore! I am a smart person. When me or any of my friends have problems, I can solve them all! Don’t believe me? It’s for real. When my friends encounter problems they always find me first. Because of school, starting from middle school I had to leave my family in Wenzhou to go to Beijing alone. Compared to other people my age, I think I’ve developed a better ability to control and cope with situations. Therefore I was able to adjust to life in Korea without difficulty. I’ve been in Korea for a year and a half and met a lot of cool people. EXO’s Lay hyung is one of them. Dancing and singing, he is good at them both but besides that Lay hyung has a charisma that’s unexplainable in words. I want to also have my own kind of charm someday. My story, what else? Someday I want to act. I’m confident I can cooly play a the lead character in a film about everyday life. Also, I like R&B… my favorite song? I’ll let you know next time. If I tell you too much about me, the charm will be gone! “

MARK
I have a lot of laughter. I laugh about things that don’t make sense and when I was young, I was a kid with a lot of high spirits. Nonetheless, isn’t it more pleasant to be positive rather than depressed? I started <High School Rapper> with a cheerful mind. I did not come with the thought of wanting to compete and win the first place. The thought of wanting to learn was bigger. But when I went out, it was more stimulating than I thought. It’s also a place where I can see the talents of kids of my age around the country, and there are a lot of great friends. Above all, I have already debuted and come from a huge company. I have a lot of people who can help me and guide me. However, these kids who came out there in the competition are alone and they practice alone, I really respect that courage and will. At first, when it started, it was good to have fun, but I have to work hard too, as far as I can. I rap a lot for the team (NCT) but now it seems a bit funny to separate myself from being a rapper or a singer. From now on, without being bound to one restricted area, I want to be an artist who makes good songs and expresses them. Like Michael Jackson’s 'Man in the Mirror’, I want to create a song that is bright and is hopeful for people. The kind of music that can have a good influence on the world. That is my dream.

HAECHAN
“I’m NCT 127’s youngest Haechan. I’m in charge of being the 'cutie boy’, haha, these are not my words but the hyungs. The Hyungs really adore me a lot. Instead of giving you a common introduction, I will tell you the songs of my life. The first one is 'Hello’ by Huh Gak sunbaenim. Since I was young, I liked this song a lot. My parents both play music so naturally, I thought I would also definitely play music too. And one day, my mom came and said: “there’s an audition, let’s give it a go”. I went with a light heart and thought of having fun but unexpectantly, I passed the audition in one try. The song I sang at that time was 'Hello’ from Huh Gak sunbaenim. That’s how I got through the auditions and started my trainee life. I didn’t really know at the time but I seemed to hit puberty when I was fifteen. My mood swings were pretty severe. Whenever I cried, I would go to a dark room and listen to 'She’s Out of My Life’ or `You Are Not Alone’. It was Michael Jackson who seemed to have protected me during my puberty. Also, more important than any other song of my life is NCT’s debut song 'Fire Truck’. I was dazed and confused when I recorded the song, but listening to it now I realize it’s a great song. I think 'Fire Truck’ will be my song of life until I die. When I look back, I think about all the other debuted teams when we debuted and watched the sunbaenims who had already debuted. The teams, who made their debut together with us, were also very good and talented. I thought that 'I cannot hold too much hope, if we don’t work hard enough we will be buried (underneath the other teams)’ and worked even harder after our debut. I’m practicing these days to improve singing and dancing. Although I still lack a lot, I will do well. I’ll have more confidence in myself.”

Translation: Teddy, Selin, Rini, Esmee @ FY! NCT (NCTINFO) | Source: NYLON April Issue

Please take out with full credit

His || Jungkook || 0.17

Member: Jungkook x Reader

Type: Angst, Fluff, Smut.

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Glitter Ball

I’ve been seeing some discussion in past few days about how unrealistic it is that Bitty doesn’t hang out with other queer kids at Samwell, which is a valid point, and it reminded me I had a fic languishing in my drafts folder that involved an expanded look at the LGBTQIA group on campus, so I figured maybe the time had come to post it. It’s more about Dex than Bitty, because I started it as a response to the “Dex is homophobic” discourse, so this is from a “Dex has never been straight, he just doesn’t think it’s any of your business” perspective.

(It’s the beginning of a longer fic called “I Abhor You/I Adore You” that’s kind of an exercise in filling in all the gaps between the Nurseydex tweets and fleshing out the non-hockey parts of Samwell, but who knows if I’ll ever finish it.)

~4.5k, pre-slash Nurseydex, mostly Dex POV, guest appearances by Bitty, Holster, and a few OCs from the LGBTQIA group. Location of the IT helpdesk across the hall from the resource center entirely stolen from my own tiny liberal arts school, “the little gay college in the middle of Iowa.”

Read it on AO3 (now with the second chapter as well).


First year, first semester

Dex got a job with the helpdesk almost as soon as he got to campus. This wasn’t exactly normal for an unknown, untested, untried, and undeclared first year student, but he had references from his high school job and there was a constant shortage of people who actually knew how to do anything with hardware. Which, of course, was the thing most of the professors actually needed help with. They weren’t actually receiving a lot of emergency Python coding calls; they needed someone who could “make the goddamn printer talk to the computer” without pissing anyone off by being too condescending.

He enjoyed it; compared to having to do the same thing in a retail environment, this was downright relaxing, and he at least had some confidence the people he was helping weren’t complete idiots. He could even leave behind a Post-It of step-by-step instructions of how to fix the problem themselves next time and have it be followed at least 50% of the time! Not to mention his work-study hours as a student athlete were actually capped and enforced so he wouldn’t work himself to death. So relaxing when compared to high school, when he’d had to juggle IT work, lobster fishing, hockey, and grades good enough to get some kind of scholarship.

Since he’d gotten to campus early to start pre-season practice with the hockey team, he’d been able to establish a work routine before adding in classes, which had been helpful. The CS classes at Samwell were certainly more demanding, but that was why he was here, wasn’t it? All in all, he was pretty satisfied with how things were shaping up. (Now if only his d-partner weren’t such an entitled brat…)

Once the other students got back to campus, it became clear the helpdesk office wasn’t the only thing housed in the weird little building at the edge of campus. He was just ending a shift when a girl stuck her head in the door. “Would it be possible to get some quick help from anybody? It’s just across the hall.”

“I can do it,” Dex said. “I was just about to leave anyway.”

“Thank you!” She led the way into what appeared to be an all-purpose meeting room. The door now had a handmade rainbow sign taped to it, proclaiming it the Stonewall Resource Center. “We’re having our first meeting of the year tonight, and of course the one person who remembers how to work the projector is on study abroad this semester.”

“No problem. You hooking it up to a laptop?”

“Yeah.”

Dex walked over to the AV podium at the front of the room and fished out the giant cluster of cables and dongles. “Hopefully one of these will work, but we have adapters in the office for just about anything. Bring it over.” A minute or so later, he had everything working.

“Thank you so much!”

“Sure. I mean, it’s my job anyway.”

“Do I need to file a ticket or something?”

“Eh, whatever.”

“Um, you’re welcome to stay for the meeting if you want…”

“What’s it for? I mean, I can guess, but your sign wasn’t even up when I came in at the beginning of my shift, so, you know.”

“Yeah, basically it’s just a beginning of the year informational meeting for students about LGBTQIA resources on campus and a way to get those of us who are returning students to get started organizing other events. So maybe not super interesting.”

“No, it sounds like good information to have. I’ll stick around.”

She smiled at him. “Great! I’m Sam.”

“Will. Or Dex. I answer to either.”

“Nice to meet you.”

***

“So do you think you’ll come back?” Sam asked after the meeting was over. Dex had stayed to help her turn off the projector and leave a sticky note with the steps written down. (He was thinking about getting a set custom-printed with “Helping You Help Yourself!” across the bottom, though he suspected his boss would find this too snarky.)

“Probably not. I mean, not to regular meetings or anything—you can totally ask me for help anytime! I’m just kind of… past the place where I need this kind of group? And I’ve got hockey practice and CS classes that are kind of the point of my being here, so they take priority, you know?”

“Sure thing.”

“But you know where to find me! Seriously, I’m always happy to help. It looks like a great group. But I know I can’t commit to anything.”

“Cool. I’ll see you around then, yeah? Oh, hey, if you have any time on Friday, you should come to the softball game. We’re gonna slay.”

Dex grinned and offered his fist for a bump of solidarity. “You’ll have to come to a hockey game once the season starts.”

“Definitely.”

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Jealous much

(A/N): I decided why the hell not do a poly relationship?

Request:  Can you do an imagine where the reader loves Bucky/Steve, but he has a girlfriend and when the reader decides to move on he gets jealous or something ? ( please make it angst at first and then really fluffy at the end ) thank you 😊

Warnings: jealous super soldiers, swearing

Tags: @mcuimxgine, @ifoundlove-x0vanessa0x, @saradi1018,  @holland-toms,  @superwholockian309@fly-f0rever, @capbuckthor, @livandlilah


Originally posted by marvxl-trash

   You sip at your drink sadly, your spirits had been depleted hours ago and all you wanted to do was go to your room and sleep until Sunday but seeing as how this was Bucky’s 100th birthday that would be rude. So now here you were, drinking all alone in the corner of Tony’s bar as everyone danced and had a fan-fucking-tastic time, or more specifically Bucky and Steve.

   You wanted to growl in annoyance when you looked over at the rugged super soldiers, all tall and thick and- God no, you needed to stop thinking like that. They were your teammates for Christ’s sake and here you were, ogling at them. It’s not like it would ever work out anyways…they had girlfriends and damn good looking ones too. Steve had Sharon, beautiful, slender, badass Sharon and Bucky had some girl named Dot, some cute curly red haired, green eyed innocent little thing and well- you had no one but yourself and a bottle of scotch.

   With a dry chuckle you drink another shot, allowing the burning liquid to soothe your pain.

   You had no right to be jealous, they were never yours to begin with, what made you feel entitled enough to dictate who they dated or fell in love with? The last one sticks to your tongue, making the burning in your throat a million times worse.

   What if Bucky and Steve both fell in love with someone other than you? What if they settled down, finally started a family, and you never got the chance to tell them how much you loved them? Tears begin to pinprick your eyes but you refuse to let them fall, this was a joyous occasion, it was Bucky’s big one hundred for fucks sake, you couldn’t cry now but you could drown your sorrows in your lovely scotch. You take another swig of the burning liquid, allowing it to simmer in your mouth before gliding down your throat, leaving an even more unpleasant burning feeling. You cough a but, trying to rid your throat of the horrid burning when suddenly there’s a hand upon your shoulder, grasping it gently.

   “Heya,” You look back only to come face to face with a stranger- but a rather attractive one at that. “I’m Brent,” You smile to the best of your ability, cringing lightly at yourself.

   “I’m (Y/N),”

   “(Y/N)’s a very pretty name,” You blush a bit. God, you were blushing, how sad are you?

  “Thank you,”

   “So um- I saw you over here drinking scotch alone and I thought maybe you’d like to go dancing with me?” You let your eyes linger on the man, brown hair, blue eyes, a gorgeous jaw and the perfect height; he was like the love child of Steve and Bucky himself and you were more than attracted to him.

   “I can’t promise I won’t step on your feet,” Brent chuckles as he takes your hand in his, gingerly as possible as though you were made of porcelain.

   “A few broken toes is no big deal,” You laugh as you make your way to the dance floor, the intoxicating music slowly starting to get to you. All around people were dancing, some more reserved but for the most part everyone was grinding on each other, having a damn good time and well- you deserved to have a damn good time too. Immediately Brent’s hands settle upon your waist as you slowly begin to move to the best of the music. A little grind here, a little grind there. Before you know it the two of you are practically dry humping and amidst other people as well. It felt so dirty but it felt oh so right too. You bite your lip as you allow yourself to succumb to the moment, to let yourself finally be free of anything other than Brent’s hands upon your waist and the way his cock ever so deliciously-

   “(Y/N).” There was a dangerous growl, low and throaty and more than intimidating. You slowly open your eyes, feeling rather drunk on the music and Brent, and you slowly focus in on the two figures ahead of you, each one with their arms folded over their chest in an almost defensive manner. “(Y/N), can we talk to you? In private-” It was Bucky. It was Bucky and Steve both standing there, staring at you disapprovingly. Oh god- what had you done? What was wrong? Did they somehow did out about your love for them? Or maybe it was something worse?

   A million thoughts start swimming through your mind as you slowly step away from Brent, giving him a soft apology before stepping up to the two super soldiers.

   Their gaze upon you was scary, a dark almost predatory like look to them. You’d seen this look a thousand times before, usually directed at Tony or some enemies but never you. God- to get them to look at you like that meant you had to have done something horrible. Guess you’d be finding out in a few minutes… 


   The elevator ride up to Bucky and Steve’s shared floor was tense, with one soldier on either side of you, making you feel small and rather childlike. There was an almost angry air surrounding the two of them and it scared you more than anything.

   You replayed the last week in your mind, trying to figure out what you had done wrong. You had done all your training sessions, every mission was a success, you had bought Bucky a birthday present; what else was there that you could have messed up? Your throat runs dry as the elevator dings and both soldiers make their way out, thus forcing them out with you.

   “You guys-” your voice is shy and timid at best. “What’s going on? Why are you so angry?” Both Steve and Bucky chuckle, shaking their heads as though they were amused.

   “You really don’t know why were angry?” Bucky’s tone sends shivers down your spine, and not the pleasant kind either.

   “N-no,”

   “How about the fact you were essentially fucking some stranger right on the dance floor, does that ring a bell?” Steve’s tone is just as dark and it scares you more than anything else.

   “I-I’m sorry, everyone else was doing it, I-I thought it was okay,”

   “All that man was trying to do was get down your pants,” For some reason now is when your nerves return, full force at that too. You went from scared and helpless to confident and angry in only a matter of seconds.

   “And why do you care Rogers? Maybe you should focus less on me and more on that girlfriend of yours,” Steve growls as he suddenly lunges for you, pinning you to the wall behind you.

   “What if I don’t want anyone down these pants, hmm? What if I want you all to myself, ever thought of that?” You gulp as you look at Steve, at the dark look upon his face and the intimidating look in his eyes. “What if Bucky wanted you, what then? What if we both want you but you’re too fucking oblivious to all our attempts?” You look to Bucky who shares the same look with Steve, dark and intimidating.

   His words don’t even set in for a few moments as you play them over and over again in your head, mulling each word, syllable, and vowel meticulously.

   "Wait…you both- you both want me?”

   “Fuck yes,” Bucky growls, his voice lower than you had ever heard. “Wanted you since the moment we laid eyes on you doll,” You squirm withing Steve’s grasp, looking between the two men uncomfortably. It wasn’t exactly nice to be pinned by Steve or to have him and Bucky glaring straight daggers at you.

   “What about Sharon and dot?”

   “No,” Bucky shakes his head. “They don’t count- they’re not you, they’re not as special,” You gulp as Steve’s face looms over you, his rather scary gaze only making your heart rate increase.

   “This isn’t some kind of sick joke?” You whisper timidly, a bit too scared to know the answer. If Bucky and Steve were lying that meant a world of heartache for you but if they said yes that meant a million other things- two personal furnaces to keep you warm at night, more coffee to make in the mornings, more love to share and receive-

   “No, how many times do we have to say that we want you (Y/N)?” Steve’s voice is right beside your ear, sending almost pleasurable sparks up your spine.

   You sigh shakily as his words finally set in, Bucky and Steve wanted you, the two men you’d fallen in love with wanted you just as much as you wanted them. Steve goes to say something else, his lips in a near snarl when you pounce upon him, wrapping your arms around his neck as you hug him tightly. The man must have been thoroughly taken back by your sudden moves but only a moment passes before he’s melting into your embrace, any trace of anger having immediately been wiped from his system.

    “You can get in on this too Bucky,” You mumble from your place in Steve’s neck. There’s an almost disbelieving chuckle and suddenly another pair of arms wrap around you, making the hug that much better. Bucky’s head nuzzles against yours and your unable to stop the happy chuckles that falls from your lips as Bucky sweetly kisses your lips, soothing any nerves or fear you previously had.

   “Save some for me Barnes,” Steve chuckles as Bucky breaks away, licking his lips deliciously. Without a moment to waste Steve kisses you, his lips just as soft and sweet as Bucky’s. at this point you felt high on whatever was in the air right now, lust? Love? Whatever it was you were definitely feeling it but the sudden thump of music floors below you pulls you out if your almost high. You pull away from Steve, much to his dismay.

   “Bucky, what about your party?” Bucky smirks as he takes your hand, gently guiding you out of Steve’s embrace and down a hall.

   “I was thinking we could have a little party Of our own,” The soldier gives you a little flirtatious wink.

   “But what about everyone else and-”

   “What birthday boy wants birthday boy gets, right?” You nod your head, biting your lip. “And I want you naked and on my bed in a minute, you Better be ready for us doll,” Bucky smirks as he gives your ass a light smack as you walk into his bedroom, more like jump into the room due from the almost heart attack Bucky caused you. “One minute doll,” Bucky gives you one last wink as he closes the door, leaving you to get ready for not only him but Steve as well.

   You bite your lip as your fingers tremble to remove your shirt. You didn’t even know what you were to Bucky and Steve, special, you knew that much but that was it, there was nothing else to go on. But one thing was for certain at this point; this was going to be one hell of a night.

~Extended ending~

    Two pairs of arms wrapped around your waist snugly, two warm chest pressed against you, one to your front and one to your back. You hum softly as you nuzzle into the closest body; Steve. His warmth radiated off his body in waves, overtaking the freezing room and keeping you more than warm. Bucky was pressed behind you, his scruffy face nuzzled into your neck, his breath gently hit your skin as he breathed in and out.

   You groan softly as you try to stretch your limbs but with two super soldiers glued to you that was kind of hard.

   “Bucky- Steve,” You poke each man’s cheek in an attempt to wake them up. “Come on, I gotta go make breakfast,”

   “You don’t have to make breakfast,” Bucky whispers into your neck as he pulls you a little closer. Apparently a poke to his cheek had been enough to wake him up unlike Steve who was now burrowing into your chest like a dog or cat of sorts. “You can lay in bed with us for the rest of the day,” You smile softly as Bucky kisses your ear, his lips barely fluttering against your skin.

   “So no coffee or bacon?”

   “There’s that pancake house down the road, once Steve gets his lazy ass up we’ll go there, sound good?” You go to reply when suddenly an equally sleepy voice penetrates the air, making both you and Bucky chuckle softly.

   “I’m awake you ass,” it was times like these, when the three of you could simply be- no worry of the media or the other avengers, no worry about hydra or aliens from other dimensions- that you realized you loved your boys more than anything in the world.

I’m happy.

I get paid to travel the world. My job is perfect. I meet people from all walks of life and every day is a new learning perspective.

I’m happy.

I can buy the things that I want. I shop without looking at the tagged price.


I’m happy.

I have the sweetest dog. He has just learned a lot of new tricks. He gets excited whenever I come home and gets sad when I leave.

I’m happy.

I have great friends. They’re always there for me. We go out all the time. We love each other genuinely.

I’m happy.

I have a loving and supportive family. We sometimes fight, but at the end of the day I know they have my back and I got theirs.

I’m happy.

I watch movies alone. I don’t have someone to explain how the movies go. I don’t have someone to share popcorn with. I don’t have someone to argue with when choosing the movies.

I’m happy.

I eat at restaurants alone. I see the stolen glances as I tell the waiter I’ll be only needing a table for one. I shrug it off.

I’m happy.

I walk alone and see a crowd of mediocre people as I would like to condescendingly call them- the couples wearing couple shirts, the families who are just window shopping, teenagers still wearing their school uniform. They seem to enjoy themselves but I know they are not happy. They don’t have what I have.

I’m happy.

I see photos of families eating at a local fast food store and I wonder why do they even post it on social media. There’s nothing special in that place. They smile at each other and put a caption about how much they love each other. I don’t hit the like button.

I’m happy.

I paint. I read. I write. I try to cook. I have lots of hobbies to keep me busy. People tell me that I must be so happy doing these things. I never tell them I could only paint when I’m sad.

I’m happy.

I know that the girlfriend of the first boy I loved controls what he posts on social media. My bestfriend tells me she’s controlling and crazy. I tell her maybe he’s not really happy. Maybe, he’s just settling.

I’m happy.

I stalk the girlfriend of the guy I had an affair with and tell myself that I am way better than her- that he should have chosen me. My bestfriend and I look at her photos and insult her. We laugh our asses off. I smile.

I’m happy.

I remove all my make up. I lay down in my bed. I stare at the ceiling for a few minutes before I pray. I thank God for all my blessings and still ask Him for more.

I’m happy.

But why do every night before I finally go to sleep, this statement turns into a question? Am I happy? I tell myself that I have all the reasons to be. But it doesn’t answer my question.

I wonder who I am convincing, the world or myself.

I’m happy.

Adored by Him

A/N: So this fic is inspired by the song “Adored by Him” by Dodie Clark. Yeah that’s really it… 

Warnings: Swearing but that’s normal.

Word Count: 2, 428

Your POV 

I honestly never expected any of this to happen. When I became friends with Dan, I did think he was handsome and funny. But I didn’t think I would fall for him as fast as I did. I always pushed away the feelings until they asked if I wanted to move in with them. Being around him 24/7 made it harder to conceal it so I just let it happen. No one knew about my feelings, except Phil, who figured out a year ago. I always expected the feelings to just go away but they didn’t.

But then she happened. Allison was Dan’s most recent girlfriend. They’ve been dating for many months now, and he was absolutely smitten (cheeky Dodie reference again) with her. He never spoke about how he felt about her, but I was able to tell. The way he looked at her with adoring eyes, and smile at the mere mention of her name. I don’t blame him though. She was beautiful, with her butterscotch hair and her smile that could shine brighter than the sun, I bet anybody would fall her easily. She was literally perfect, and I was just…well me. It was easy to figure out how she made Dan’s soul practically glow, and it hurt. A lot.  

I won’t hate you but oh it stings,

How does it feel to be adored by him? 

It was hard to hate Allison. She was super nice, and had the same sense of humor as Dan. Plus, she makes him happy. That’s what matters, right?


I was sitting on the couch, watching my favorite movie with Phil. It was raining outside so we decided to dedicate the day to watching a bunch of movies. Phil and I were cuddled up under a blanket, eating popcorn. It was relaxing to say the least. Dan was out at Allison’s house so, of course, Phil questioned me about my feelings.

“Are you ever going to tell him, Y/N?” Phil asked, nudging my arm with his elbow.

I pulled up the blanket to my chest, and sighed heavily. “Philly we’ve talked about this before. I’ll only ruin things so-" 

"You should tell him. It’s best to get it out there.” Phil gave me a sympathetic look. It’s like he knew Dan wouldn’t return the feelings but he didn’t want to keep any secrets. To be honest I’m surprised he didn’t tell Dan by now. 

“Phil, look-”

Phil and I jumped off the couch when we heard a loud bang, and stumbling coming from downstairs. We exchanged confused glances, and hurried to the front door to see Dan, stumbling around the entrance of our flat.

“Hi guys!” Dan said, his speech slurred.

“Dan what the hell happened!?” Phil questioned, running up to his best friend’s side and helping him take his shoes off. 

“Heh, Allison and I got in a fight. Stupid really-” He tripped over his shoes that he just took off and laughed. He looked up into my eyes and smiled. “Don’t worry I’m fine.” Dan pushed Phil’s hand off his shoulder, and walked up the stairs by himself.

“Y/N, do you want to make sure he’s okay?” Phil asked, walking up to my side as we slowly followed Dan up the stairs.

“Why?”

“Just talk to him." 

I let out another sigh, and took another glance at Dan, who stumbled into his bedroom. "Okay. I’m not telling drunk Dan anything though.” I pointed my finger at Phil, and let out a small laugh to lighten the mood. Phil shook his head, smacking my hand away and smiling.

“Just go.” He laughed. 

I walked to the kitchen, and poured a small glass of water for Dan. I ignored the aching pain in my chest, and the tears swelling up in my eyes. I put down the glass for a moment to take a deep breath, and recollect myself. After a few minutes, I made my way towards Dan’s room where I saw him softly crying. My heart broke at the sight. It pained me so much to see another girl make Dan hurt. I hated it. I walked towards Dan’s bed and gave him the glass of water. 

“Here you go, sweetie.” I sat at the end of his bed, waiting for his response. 

“Thank you.” Dan sniffed, taking a sip of the water. 

“You want to talk about what happened?” I moved closer to him. His legs were hanging over the edge of his bed and he was staring at the cup of water in his lap.

“She doesn’t trust me.”  

“What do you mean?” I was right by his side after I finished the question. I tried to make eye contact with him but he was so closed off, I decided to keep a little distance.

“She thinks that I’m cheating on her with you.” He lifted his head slowly and stared into my eyes. My face turned red and I stared at the ground. I felt the butterflies in my stomach go crazy, and I had to take a deep breath again to calm myself down. I looked back into his beautiful, chocolate eyes and stared in silence for a while.  

Pretty girl there’s no need to fret

Because it’s midnight, he’s drunk, and you’re the one in his head.

You don’t even have to try at all. 

“I can’t say I’m in love with her but I feel something…strong towards her you know? I’m not even sure if she feels the same. It’s just- It hurts a lot that she doesn’t even trust me. ” Dan’s eyes got glossy, and he stared down at his cup again. All I did was nod my head. I understood where he was coming from. Someone you may be in love with and they might not even return the feeling. How ironic. 

“I understand, Dan. But you should get some rest, then talk to her in the morning.” I flashed a fake smile at Dan and stood up from his bed. I stood in front of him, and he stared into my eyes like he was searching for something.

“Thank you, Y/N. You’re honestly the best.” Dan put his glass down on his bedside table and got up to give me hug. I accepted it, taking in his warmth for that short moment I had. I sighed when he pulled away and sat in his bed. “You want to…stay with me for a bit?” He asked, not making eye contact. I gave him a weak smile, and nodded, sitting next to him as he got comfortable underneath the blanket.

I lost track of time, waiting for Dan to fall asleep. I stared at his sleeping figure for god knows how long, I felt like a complete creep. He looked so peaceful with his head resting in my lap it was hard not to. I gently stroked his hair as he slowly fell asleep, his arms wrapped around my body as his head rested on my leg. I checked the time on his phone, 1:00 am. I noticed his lock screen, expecting it to be a picture of him and Allison. But instead it was a picture of him, me, and Phil at VidCon on our day off. I smiled at it, but quickly my smile faded when a text from Allison popped up. I decided to ignore it, and finally leave Dan’s side. 

I crept towards the kitchen, hoping not to wake Dan or Phil up. However, to my surprise Phil was standing in the kitchen, drinking some tea while leaning against the counter. 

“So, how did it go?” He asked, staring at me. 

“She doesn’t trust him apparently. Allison thinks he’s cheating on her with…me.” I sighed. All my emotions that I’ve been holding in all night were surfacing, and I wasn’t going to let it happen. “Um, he’s asleep now. He asked me to stay with him for a little while and I lost track of time because he was…uh-" 

"Cuddling with you?” Phil flashed me a smile, but it faded when he looked into my eyes and noticed the tears coming up. He gave me a sympathetic look and walked closer to me. “You should just tell him so he knows. So you don’t have to keep hurting. He will understand, Y/N." 

"I know Phil. It’s just- it hurts seeing them together so much. And of course I want him to be happy! But that selfish part of me wants him to be happy with me. God, it fucking hurts.” I felt a warm streak roll down my cheek, and I quickly wiped it away, looking away from Phil. 

“Y/N.” I knew he was trying to make me look at him, but I hated being this vulnerable. “Y/N.” I gave in and stared into Phil’s icy blue eyes. It was full of sympathy, and I couldn’t take it anymore. 

“Phil, don’t look at me like that please. It’s only making me feel worse.” I felt more tears surfacing and let out a heavy sigh. I heard Phil mumble a small apology and he embraced me in a warm, loving hug. At that point I finally broke. I started sobbing into his shirt, with every sob he would hold me tighter, and tell me everything was going to be okay. He gently ran his hands through my hair. I pulled away from Phil, and sniffed, gently rubbing my nose. 

“Y/N, I know it hurts but-” Phil paused in the middle of his sentence and stared behind me. I looked up to Phil, then turned around to see what he was looking at. There was Dan, his hair curly and disheveled, and his empty glass in his hands.

“What’s wrong?” Dan asked, noticing my red, puffy eyes and the tear stains on Phil’s shirt. He looked into my eyes and I could tell he was concerned.

“N-Nothing.” I lied.

“Obviously there’s something wrong, Y/N, tell me.” Dan walked over to the counter and placed his cup on the surface. I looked up to Phil, and nodded, signaling for him to give us some alone time. When Phil left the room, Dan pulled me into a tight hug, and for the second time that night I broke down. “Want to talk to me about what happened?”

I pulled away from Dan and stared at the floor. “It’s not really about w-what happened. It’s more…what’s happening.” I let out a fake chuckle. Dan shot me a confused look, and backed up to lean against the counter.

“Tell me what’s going on or so help me god Y/N I will-”

“Okay. Um. I guess.”

“Spit it out, please.” Dan tilted his head, giving me a worried look. God I can’t handle this anymore.

“Okay, you don’t even have to respond to this…but I really need it out in the open.” I could feel my heart beating out of my chest, and I took deep unsteady breath. “I just need you to know that…that” I stared into Dan’s eyes and I could feel my heart aching all over again. I felt tears pouring out of my eyes and saw Dan’s tall figure making his way over to comfort me again but I pulled away.

“Please don’t. You’re just going to make this harder.”
“Y/N tell me. Please, you’re making me worried.” I realized that Dan and I were standing really close, closer than we usually are. I looked into his beautiful eyes like it was the last time then stared at the floor.

“I think I’m in love with you.” I mumbled. 

“What? Speak up, love.” Dan said softly. 

“Fuck.” I ran my fingers through my hair and avoided eye contact at all costs. “I think I’m in love with you and it fucking stings so much to see you and Allison together. I mean I don’t blame you, or her. Allison is like the definition of perfect. I mean she makes me look blind with how adventurous she is and you look at her like the world is fucking perfect. It’s so stupid to think that I could compare to her. But god, do I wish it was me in your arms instead of her. Don’t even get me started about how I feel about you because there is too much history to even go over.” I shook my head, staring at the ground, watching my tears hit the white kitchen tiles.

“Y/N, can you look at me please?” Dan was still speaking softly. 

“Dan I told you, you don’t have to even say anything. You could just simply ignore it and leave, I’ll get the point." 

"Look at me, Y/N.” Dan said, more stern but still full of care. I rolled my eyes and stared into his eyes. Even though my vision was blurred I could still see the small glimmer in his eyes. “I’m sorry for-”

“Dan I told you, you don’t have to do this." 

"Y/N, we need to talk about this. We can’t just ignore it.”

“Well I’ve been ignoring it for 3 years now, so I think I’m good. I know the speech you’re about to give me and I just…” I let out a muffled sob into my hand, and looked back up to him. “Please I can’t take this right now." 

"Please let me just-" 

"Dan, I’m so sorry I shouldn’t have said anything. I really need fresh air…I’ll be back in a bit." 

Dan looked over to the clock on the oven, and slowly moved towards the door. "It’s 1:20, Y/N you can’t go outside alone." 

"Well I am, so please move.” Dan was blocking the doorway. I made eye contact with him and got lost in his eyes again. I felt like time slowed down when we stared into each other’s eyes, but I broke the contact because I felt more tears coming. Dan reluctantly walked up to me, opening his arms to give me a hug. But instead, I pulled away from him. 

“I’m so sorry.” I mumbled, and ran down the stairs to the front door, putting on my shoes and coat. 

“Y/N wait-”

I left before I could hear anymore. I let the cold London air enter my lungs, as I tried to relax from what happened, and trying to decide if I should go back and face Dan, or go to a friend’s house. I ultimately decided on staying outside for a while. Sitting on a park bench staring at the trees in the park as I replayed what happened through my head. 

What am I going to do?

A/N: Second part? Or leave it there? YOU DECIDE

Theories (Peter Quill)

Pairing: Peter Quill x OC

Warnings: None…tiny, tiny spoiler for Vol. 2

A/N: This might be complete crap, but I desperately needed to write some Quill. I hammered this out earlier this morning and just did a quick edit, no rewriting. But hopefully it’s post worthy! I think a second part is in order? xD


Originally posted by despairingfever

The sound of bickering voices drifted back from the cockpit, making me roll my eyes. I lowered the manuscript I was flipping through.

“Will you two morons cut it out already?” I hollered. I waited a beat, but the arguing went on. Probably hadn’t even heard me. Anyways, it wasn’t my job to break up the idiotic pissing contest that went on between Rocket and anyone he met. Or at the moment, Drax.

Keep reading

Shape of You

Characters: Jensen Ackles, Y/N (Reader), Jared Padalecki (mentioned), Misha Collins (mentioned)

Pairing: Jensen x Reader

Warnings: Objectification of reader (sorta - he means well), Implied smut, smut, Dry Humping, Oral (69), unsafe sex (wrap it before you tap it), training kink (is that a thing?), rough(ish) sex, NSFW gifs under the cut.    

Word Count: 3500ish

A/N: This is me proving to myself I still remember how to smut. I haven’t written anything smutty for the longest of times and I have been feeling like it lately. It was harder than I thought getting back into the saddle though. Sorry if it is a bit rough - pun not intended.

It is somewhat inspired by the Ed Sheeran song Shape of You - and maybe a little by the video too.

Thanks to the sweet amazing @mysupernaturalfics for betaing this for me.

“Fuck,” she breathed out, instantly drawing Jensen’s attention. He was sprawled out his couch, waiting for Y/N to return to his side. It was movie night and she hadn’t bothered leaving the room to take the phone call. Jensen never eaves dropped and even if he was to overhear something it wouldn’t matter. There was nothing to two of them hid from each other. Literally nothing.

They had both been single for a while and some drunken night they had come to the conclusion, that helping each other blow off some steam when either of them needed it was much prefered from picking up some random dude or chick at a bar.

“If you want I am game,” Jensen teased her, throwing her his best Dean smirk, making her eyes roll so hard he was sure Jared would hear it across the hall from Jensen’s apartment.

“It’s not funny, Jensen! They offered me the part. I’m gonna be Wonder Woman,” she complained, making Jensen shoot from the couch and wrap her in his arms, spinning her around the air not caring one bit about her objection.

“That’s amazing Y/N/N,” he laughed putting her down but not releasing her from his hold, “what are you so worried about?” Jensen gently stroked her hair away from her face, studying her face and trying to figure out why she wasn’t over the moon about this. She had a tendency to overthink things. He knew that. He literally spent 2 hours on the floor of her bedroom leaning against her bathroom door trying to talk her out after the first night they had slept together.

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Finn| Into Your Arms |Bálor

Title; Into Your Arms

Pairing; Finn Bálor/Reader

Word Count; 5523

Summary; If it’s just a game, then I like the way that we play.

Warnings;  NSFW. Body painting leading to smut. Smut for smut’s sake. Here be no plot. Latex free.

A/N; Found this little gem saved in my documents from months ago because I forgot about it. Heathens!Tyler is a work in progress. Thinking next week.  You know what to do fam. Leave me some noise and kisses.

Tag Train:

@alexablss  @laochbaineann  @bettergetusetoit
@fuckyeahbulletclub  @covergirlcollarbones  @thedeboniardevistation @amaranthine-reign  @leelakoiwolff @crookedmoonsaultpunk
@princess3733 @britishscoundrel  geekoftv
@bbmbabe  @alexahood21  @mrsuniverse
@sorleino   @sweet-and-stormy   heelturn-timesten
@imaginingwwesuperstars  @wrasslin-x @iloveenzoamore@crossfitjesusinskinnyjeans@tomsbookitten  @sarahmatthews7  amantedelcalcio
@littledeadrottinghood   @wwelife0014
@alexispoo  @sjwriteswrestling-1   mox-midget
@wwesmutdonedirtcheap @50shadesofadamcolebaybay
@screamersdontdance  @wwe-smutfics
@alexahood21  @tmsixone   @daintymissdevitt
@mistressbalor @nickysmum1909  
@wwewritings   @mgswdw  @finnbaelorxx
@shadow-of-wonder @valeonmars
@neeadinghugs @squirrel666 @jenn0755  @actualamyautopsy @roserae527 @ladylillianrose  @panicattheambrose
@thebutterflygirl16   @catie-kaboom   @aye-its-shaianne  @breezy14fan @lindseyrae20   hiitsmecharlie
@blondekel77  @skrillexslays13  @lisa-likes-wrasslin  @danikajessyfandoms  @charismatickilljoy
@sunflowers-and-swear-words  @atravelerinspirit
@beckyylynchs  @baeckyshorsewomen  @darkgalaxy14 @hushothermuses @superrezzy00  @blood-fells  @nerdy-cinnaqueen
@eleonora-dsb  @somewhere-in-ambrose-asylum
@little–alphabet–boy @chloebowiee   @shieldgirl95

Originally posted by thearchitectwwe

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RIP To My Youth

and you could call this the funeral

My first Jughead imagine, this is part one, if you guys enjoy it I’ll keep it going. 

Pairing: Jughead x Reader 

Description: Jug and the reader have been best friends since they were kids, but lately, things have changed, Riverdale has changed, Jug has changed and Y/N thinks maybe it’s time she changed too. 

Warnings: ANGST ANGST SO MUCH ANGST YO (maybe a couple o swears)

Word count: 2088

Part 2https://thatsadbreakfastclub.tumblr.com/post/158505761114/rip-to-my-youth-pt-2



It was getting to the point where I was having internal battles with myself every night. ‘Y/N he’s working on the novel and the newspaper, of course, it’s going to be harder for him to spend time with you’ versus ‘he’s moved on, he’s closer with Betty now, he and Archie are closer too, you’ve lost him, you’re irrelevant’. These were the thoughts that had been consuming my brain for the past couple of weeks. Jug was my best friend, right? Maybe I should text him? Maybe not. I started playing with my pale grey cap, my nervous tick of sorts. Jug could always tell when I was nervous because I would fiddle with the cap “Y/N” he’d say “spill it, you can’t hide anything from me, I can read you like an open book”. Thinking about this little memory was bittersweet. How can someone who’s practically by your side every day suddenly just have no real interest in talking to you? Ever since the murder of Jason Blossom, it really feels like everything in Riverdale has changed.

I glanced at my clock perched on my bedside table, 7:45 pm sigh. Maybe doing some homework will take my mind off all this bullshit, who’s idea was it to put me in advanced algebra anyway? Oh, that’s right my father, who I really wish was here right now and not away on some business trip. Tonight would have to be a lonely one. That’s when I remembered I had Jug’s math textbook, there it was sitting on my desk. I flipped it open and sure enough on the bottom left-hand corner was a small ‘property of Jughead Jones’. Perfect I could use this as an excuse to text him. 

Hey Jug, I forgot I had your math textbook? Want me to come drop it over? The two-hour wait to get a reply just built up more and more anger inside of me Hey Y/N, I’m working on an article with Betty right now, could you drop it off to me in the newsroom in free period tomorrow? This was it, this was fucking it, oh I would take his textbook to him tomorrow and I would also confront him about this whole thing, that’s what I’d do straight up ask him why I was suddenly dead weight, I’ve had his guys back for so many years and now I’m just nothing, I won’t have it. Will do I sent back, cool calm and collected and then I was going to give him a piece of my mind tomorrow.

Getting ready for school was never a difficult task for me, I pretty much did the same thing everyday. My Y/H/C was tied into a ponytail with the front strands falling onto my face framing it. I put on my classic ripped boyfriend jeans and a black t-shirt, accompanied by my army jacket. To finish off my classic look I added my signature grey cap and put on my favourite dark grey lipstick. I wasn’t the girliest of girls, that was for sure, but everyone seemed to identify me by my style and in this I found comfort. After giving myself the once over in the mirror I grabbed Jug’s textbook from my desk, shoving it into my bag and I set off for school.

The day dragged on and on, I had a tonne of classes with Kevin and Ronnie today so it was nice to hang out with them for a change. This was of course until Kevin pulled the “I haven’t seen you and Jughead together in a while, what happened you two are usually joined at the hip?” line “You guys are my otp, I hope there’s no trouble in paradise” Veronica added. “Ronnie we’re not dating, why does everyone always think that and honestly, I don’t know, I guess he’s been too busy with this whole novel and newspaper thing to remember me as well” I replied giving my best interpretation of a fake smile. Veronica and Kevin gave me sympathetic looks. 

As the bell rang, signaling our release I was packing my things together when Veronica grabbed my arm. “Y/N you need to tell Jug how you feel, I don’t know if you’ve even admitted it to yourself yet but it’s pretty obvious you’re in love with him, I can see how much not seeing him is hurting you and I think it’s best if you face this head on” I was so taken aback by this, I mean for years I’ve always had people ask if Jug and I were dating but no one had been this blatant with me. Was she right?, No he’s my best friend, I couldn’t be in love with him no way. I let out an awkward laugh “I don’t love Jughead, we’re just friends” It came out so defensive that Veronica raised both her eyebrows and folded her arms “the fact that you’re being so defensive about this just further proves my point” She said in a sing-song voice. “I gotta go Ronnie” I replied standing up from my seat and walking out the classroom “I only say this cause’ I care” she yelled after me.  

Making my way towards the newsroom, I’d never felt so nervous in my life, like get a grip girlie it was just your friend, surely this whole not speaking to me thing was just, not even a big deal and I was hyping it all up. I was still going to have a go at him though because he was angry when Archie ditched him and now he’s okay with doing it to me? Not on my watch.

I had the math book in my hand as I was walking up to the door of the newsroom, I had my best ‘pissed off face’ going on I was ready.

I had my hand almost on the doorknob when I took a quick glance through the doors glass window. That was when my stomach fell, my jaw dropped and my heart involuntarily shattered. It was just a glimpse that’s all I could allow myself to watch, but inside that dusty old newsroom was one Jughead Jones kissing Elizabeth Cooper. The feelings hit me like a truck, and then everything went numb.

I didn’t know what to do so without giving any sign I was there I dropped the math book and ran, I ran out of the school I ran past pops and all the way home. By this time the tears were free falling, I couldn’t stop it and I didn’t care. Once I was in the safety of being inside my house with the door locked I gave in to my emotions and just slid down to the floor.

Wow, I felt so stupid and so naive, why didn’t I see this coming, it all made perfect sense now. I guess this was me also coming to terms with the fact that as usual Ronnie was right, I was painfully in love with Jug and now I was too late to ever do anything about it.

The more I sat there and thought about it the more I came to realise that this was my fault. I held Jug up to this crazy high standard and just assumed it would always be him and me at the end of the day. I had sacrificed so much to hang out with him, to keep my “image”, I avoided making too many other friends, I avoided parties, extracurricular activities you name it I wasn’t a part of it. Now it was all going to change, it had to change. Maybe this was the wake-up call I needed. I had to work on myself, be better, be stronger. Most of all this needed to happen because this meant I could quite literally not be around Jughead anymore, I think seeing or talking to him would make me cry, something the new me will NOT be doing.

I picked myself up off the floor and headed to the bathroom to wash my face. “Get a grip Y/N, ” I told myself staring into the mirror. It’s like as soon as I come to terms with the feelings I think I may have had for years, I have to immediately try to get rid of them. I think this was a coping mechanism for me, and I think the reason I’ve never let myself admit that I had feelings for him before was because I fear rejection so much so very much, and I had to do what I knew would keep him around and that was to continue to be his friend. Well, little girl it’s time to grow up.

And what’s the best way to look more mature and confident, change your style. From what I’ve witnessed from the media, what you wear can have a profound impact on how people view you. This is what I had to do first, get rid of the “old me” look. This meant bye grey cap, bye dark lipstick ( I mean what was I even trying to do with that? Look like a corpse?) (oh wow corpse jokes really funny, maybe a bit too real in light of recent circumstances.) And also a very big goodbye to my jeans and army jacket, that would have to go too.

Looking through my closet it was apparent I didn’t have much to work with, I would definitely have to go shopping this weekend, I’ll bring Ronnie and Kevin along, they know fashion and are probably more than willing to help me out. AH HUH eureka! The dress I’ve been looking for! About two months ago I bought this really nice burgundy skater dress that I was planning to wear on a summer trip away, but when that got cancelled I never really had an excuse to wear it, until now. It showed a lot of leg, which I was surprisingly pretty comfortable with. The thought of people seeing me in this tomorrow made me feel a mixture of excitement and nausea.

The next thing that would change was the hair; no more would it be hidden by a cap and just randomly pulled back behind my face. I would wear it down and give it a curl. I think that would give me a nice elegant edge. God, I really don’t think anyone’s even going to recognise me tomorrow, kinda funny really. The next thing I had to do was go on to the school website and look for an extracurricular I would be willing to do. Hopefully, this would be a good way to make new friends and keep me busy.

I went and grabbed my laptop from my desk, as I did this I heard my phone vibrate, which meant I had a message. The name that made the screen light up made my heart skip a few beats, it was from Jug Hey, I just found my math book outside the newsroom? Why did you leave it there and not come inside? SIGH, reading that was like a knife to my chest, I immediately deleted the message, this may be immature but I needed time, I can’t bring myself to talk to him and if he can do it to me I can sure as hell do it to him. 

Shaking those thoughts away I was brought back to the task at hand. Logging onto the schools web page I found the list of extracurricular activities going on at Riverdale high. Chess club? Pass. Girl’s soccer? Hard pass.  Mathletes? No way in hell. Come on there has to be something here. After fifteen minutes of looking to no avail I scrolled past the extracurricular activities. Eventually I saw an ad posted by the she-devil herself Cheryl Blossom, apparently, one of the river vixens had broken her ankle and a new vixen was needed immediately, auditions were tomorrow after school. Hmm, could I do this? Maybe I could? The old me would never dream of being a cheerleader but the new me, maybe she could. You know what, fuck it. It was decided, I caught myself slightly smiling as I clicked ‘attend’ on the event. It felt like a breath of fresh air, tomorrow I would walk into school confident and new. I was going to cure my own broken heart. I just hoped a run in with Jughead wouldn’t make it all come crashing down.

The New Sugar List: 47 Songs to Inspire You

I created the sugar list out of need. I needed to songs to get ready to, to boost my confidence to, to remember why I had decided to go pro in the first place. Once I started the list, I found myself listening to and discovering new songs to add to the list. It’s an ever growing monster that I hope you enjoy. There are some songs that would be perfect on this playlist that I avoided because I had exhausted their appeal to me and others because I didn’t like the artist or the message they were providing. This list is just a jumping off point. Tweak it to your hearts content. 

  1. Whatever You Like- T.I.- Perhaps one of the first songs I ever heard that talked about sugaring. It’s still a dream. A man that will look me in the eye and say I can have whatever I like? Please, sugar gods, please. 
  2. 6 Inch- Beyonce- Walk in the club like nobody’s business….
  3. Pay Me- Miguel- …and tell them to pay you. 
  4. Normally I Get It-Lola Wolf- This song is SO me as a newbie. Improvising, taking advice I should have ignored, wondering how it all went wrong. It’s an excellent reminder of how far I’ve come and an opportunity to laugh at the past. 
  5. Lemme Get That- Rihanna- Her Excellency appears on this list five or six times. There’s a reason for that. This song in particular has always warmed my heart. There was a time when I was breaking up and making up over furniture.
  6. Bandz a Make Her Dance- Juicy J- Because, yes, bandz will make me do things that I wouldn’t do otherwise. Like pay attention to you. 
  7. Can’t Tell Me Nothing- Kanye West- This is my reminder that I’m not sugaring for accessories. I’m trying to better myself. To get certain things that will advance me towards my goal. To build a business that will get my money so right, I’ll only have men around for giggles. 
  8. Money Make Her Smile- Bruno Mars- Well, this isn’t a lie. 
  9. Work B**ch- Britney Spears- It’s my alarm to get up in the morning. It’s my reminder that this life isn’t easy
  10. Pour It Up- Rihanna- A reminder not to be afraid to get what I want. He could leave me tomorrow but I’ve still got these gifts and I know I can find someone to get me more.
  11. Glamorous- Fergie- If you aint got no money take your broke ass home. Thanks
  12. Maneater- Nelly Furtado- Because after some time spent fumbling, I’ve figured out what type of seducer I am. Men beware. 
  13. Raining Men- Rihanna- I could dwell on my failures or I could recognize that there’s more than one rich man out there and get another.
  14. Murder- Justin Timberlake- The self esteem boost I need when I can’t get my eyebrows right.
  15. Luxurious- Gwen Stefani- You worked so hard to get an SD and now you have. You worked so hard on your profile and gathered the courage to go on a POT date. Celebrate
  16. Love ‘Em All- K. Michelle- When my vanilla friends ask how I can go from man to man so quickly, this is the song that starts playing in my head
  17. Faithful- Drake- This song doesn’t really belong on this list but when I heard Amber Rose saying that she just liked really expensive shit, well I had to add it. 
  18. She Knows- Ne-Yo- I didn’t quite understand the concept of owning your sex appeal, of never apologizing for it. I get it now. 
  19. Throw Sum Mo- Rae Sremmurd- If you’ve got cash who or what should you be spending it on besides me? Throw some mo.
  20. Shawty is Da Sh*!- The- Dream- Yes, actually, I am. 
  21. All N My Grill- Missy Elliott- To the men who want to text and email and date the women they met on SD sites but don’t want to do the one thing that the site says they should be doing. Why aren’t they paying bills?
  22. She Wants to Move- N.E.R.D. - When it’s time for me to leave you, when it’s time for me to dance, you don’t need to come with me, daddy.
  23. Paper Planes- M.I.A. - All I want to do is take your money? Sounds accurate
  24. Got It- Marian Hill- My reminder that the things I have, the things I bring to the table can’t be bought or stolen by any man. There isn’t enough money in the world
  25. My Love is Like…Wo- Mya- This is not a lie. I will change your life. You will crawl back to me over and over again because of what I provided.
  26. Feeling Myself- Nicki Minaj- Because I am, I am feeling myself. It’s hard work but I’m successfully doing what I said I was going to do. 
  27. Bitch Better Have My Money- Rihanna- Does this honestly need an explanation? While I’ll never be posting allowance shots, I want what I was told I could have when I was told I would have it. 
  28. Plastic Bag- Drake & Future- I do deserve it, yes. 
  29. About the Money- T.I.- His second feature on this list and perhaps one of the more obvious songs. If it aint about the money, why are we speaking? What else could you possibly offer?
  30. Mascara- Jazmine Sullivan- Perhaps the song that speaks the most blatantly about life as a sugar baby on this list and the song that I think should be the sugar baby anthem, it’s a reminder to always stay well dressed, always stay ready for more. 
  31. The Boys- Nicki Minaj and Cassie- They’ll always spend money when they think there is love. 
  32. Guap- Big Sean- If you’ve ever gotten anon hate, dirty looks when you’re out in public, or patronizing conversations with friends that couldn’t begin to do what you do: I need you to blast this song. 
  33. Conceited (There’s Something About Remy)- Remy Ma- The attitude you need to have when they say you aren’t good enough and walk away, announce they don’t desire you, or try to lowball you. 
  34. Afford My Love-Dreezy-  The truth is, salty salts, you can’t afford me. This is not my problem.
  35. Money Over Love- Bilal- Money over love cause the best things in life aint free. 
  36. The Morning- The Weeknd- The money is the motive
  37. Spoiled- Wale- The song opens with Wale affectionately saying “with your spoiled ass”. I laughed. I am spoiled. Why shouldn’t I be?
  38. Anaconda- Nicki Minaj- A reminder that a man can want you for your body. Do you know what you want him for? Cause he buys you Balmain?
  39. Ex’s & Oh’s-Elle King- They always want to cum but they never want to leave (or pay).
  40. Sally-Bibi Bourelly- They don’t understand us. Hate, jealousy, and fear are better. That doesn’t mean you shouldn’t dance. Let me see you rock little Sally.
  41. Back Up-Dej Loaf- Yeah, I made you feel good but…why are you blowing up my phone? Is there money? No? Back up off me. 
  42. Nun for Free-Zonnique- We don’t do nothing for free. Amen, amen.
  43. Nothing is Promised- Mike Will Made-It & Rihanna- You can lose it as quickly as you got it. Be smart
  44. Rich-K. Michelle- The only way to solve rich people problems? Get richer. Grind ladies
  45. Sex With Me- Rihanna- If I could play this song every time I’m asked if I’m a sexual person…the time I could save.
  46. No Scrubs-TLC- No explanation needed. They knew.
  47. Buy the World- Mike Will Made-It- What you think we out here hustling for? We’re just trying to buy the world and do the impossible.

What would you add to this list? Do you have any favorite songs that you get ready to take over the world (or a wallet) to?

Take a Chance

The gifset of Dean giving himself that little pep talk from 7x04 inspired me to write this. Dean x Reader, Dean’s POV. Hope you like :)

For fuck’s sake, Dean, you’ve done this a thousand times. You can charm a woman without even breaking a sweat. Why are you so damn nervous?

Because, dumbass, it’s Y/N. This time it’s not some random bar chick that I’ll probably never lay eyes on again. And I don’t want to mess things up. I don’t want to do something that’ll make everything all awkward.

I just want… I just want to be with her. Whatever that means. And I don’t even know how to say that without making things all fucking weird.

Just tell her the truth. Well, the surface truth. Say you’re bored. Take a chance.

She doesn’t need to know you hate being in a separate room from her, that you miss being around her. That you feel not all there when she’s not around, like a piece is missing. That you’re dying to touch her. Like really touch her.

Okay. Here’s her door. Just heard a noise, so you know she’s awake. So knock already.

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Sanvers in College: Alex Drunk Dials the Cute Girl from Bio Class

Based on this post: https://hazingblur.tumblr.com/post/160026282401/queercapwriting-wlwprompts-person-a-is-drunk @hazingblur

Original prompt from @wlwprompts : “Person A is drunk and decides to randomly call that cute girl from biology class to tell her she’s pretty”

@lesbapocalypse you also asked for this so like.


She’s drunk and she’s stolen Kara’s phone, because it’s finals week and all bets are off and that cute girl from biology class?

She’s 1000% sure that her name is Maggie – Maggie Sawyer – not that she paid attention.

Pfft.

No. Of course she didn’t.

And she’s 1000% sure that said Maggie Sawyer is the same Maggie that her little sister has befriended.

And therefore, that cute girl’s number – and when she says cute, she means it, but god, she also means blazingly sexy – must be in Kara’s phone.

So she swipes the phone from her sister’s bag while Kara laughs with James and Winn. Swipes it and chugs another gulp of illegal punch and she finds Maggie’s name – complete with a picture, god, a gorgeous picture, because damn, those dimples, that hair, those downcast eyes – in Kara’s contacts.

Finds the name, and tries once, twice, three times, to successfully hit the big green button that makes the phone dial.

She giggles and almost bounces on the balls of her feet as the phone rings, rings, rings.

“Hey Kara!”

Alex freezes at the sound of her voice – her voice that she’s used to hearing only asking the best questions, only giving the best answers, in bio lecture, in bio lab – and she contemplates hanging up and leaving it to her sister to explain the butt dial.

“Kara?”

But now Maggie sounds concerned, because she must hear the party in the background, and Alex has seen her smile, seen her nerdiness, but she’s also seen her motorcycle, her leather jacket, her gym bag. And she doesn’t want her to be concerned, to feel like she has to speed to the party to rescue Kara from whatever situation she might be in.

“Hey! No, nope, not Kara. I mean, of course you thought it was Kara, I took her phone, I mean, obviously you thought it was her – ”

“Danvers?”

“Not the blonde one!”

“Alex.”

“Hiiiii.”

There’s a pause and she thinks she hears Maggie shuffling something.

“Danvers, you drunk? Are you with people, drinking water?”

“Awww, Sawyer, you care about me!”

“Well I sure don’t want you passing out in your own vomit, Danvers. I’ve been there, it’s not pleasant.”

Her voice is pleasant, though, and Alex collapses drunkenly onto a half-occupied couch, completely oblivious to the couple that had been making out, who shoot her irritated looks as they get up to find a better spot to kiss.

Alex thinks she hears that shuffling again, and maybe some wind, but she’s drunk and everything is oh so slightly hazy, but pleasantly so – pleasant, because Maggie Sawyer is on the phone with her, Maggie Sawyer cares whether she throws up or not. Maggie Sawyer. God. How can anyone be that perfect?

“I’m finnneee. I just… it’s just, I know you’re Kara’s friend, but we’ve never really talked, and I… even if you weren’t Kara’s friend, I’d have noticed you, you know. I mean, how could I not notice you? Do you know we’re in the same bio class? You’re always so smartest. The smartest girl in the class. The smartest and the cutest. And my sister’s friend! What are the odds, huh? Maybe we can calculate it with genome mapping or something. But we’re more than our code, right, we have to be. You believe that, right, Maggie?”

“Hey, Danvers, I’m not cutting you off, but can you do me a favor?”

Alex preens. Her last name sounds so nice on Maggie’s tongue. She wonders what else would feel nice on Maggie’s tongue. Everything, probably.

She nods before she realizes vaguely that Maggie can’t see her.

“Mmhmm.”

“Remind me which house is throwing the party you all are at.”

Alex squints as she tries to remember. “The one across from the science building. Where we take bio. Together. But now term is ending and maybe we won’t do anything together again. Not even that we did anything in bio together, because I was too nervous to – ”

“Danvers, whoa whoa. Can you do me another favor, sweetie?”

Alex’s heart backflips and she almost careens off the couch, because she called her sweetie, she called her sweetie, she called her sweetie.

The sound of wind on the other line increases in her ear, but maybe that’s just a side effect from how hard she’s pressing the phone to her ear, like the closer she clutches it, the closer she’ll be to Maggie.

“Yeah.” She thinks her voice might be higher, might be breathier, than it normally is, but that’s alright, because Maggie Sawyer called her sweetie.

“I know you have things you feel like you want to tell me right now, and I want to hear them, but only if you still want to tell me when you’re sober, okay?”

Alex blinks and furrows her brow at the phone, because – maybe she’s more drunk than she thought – Maggie’s voice seems to be coming from two places, now. One, through the phone, and one, less static-y, closer to her body.

She looks up from the couch and she startles, because Maggie is standing over her, crouching down next to her as she hangs up her phone, all basketball shorts and hoodie and flip flops and hair hastily tied back into a messy ponytail.

She’s grinning softly, but she’s breathing kind of heavily, like she’d just sprinted from her dorm room. Because, Alex realizes dimly, that’s exactly what she just did.

“Hey Alex,” she says as Alex splutters, as Alex fumbles to sit up straight, to fix her hair, to hang up Kara’s phone without dropping it.

Alex thinks she may be imagining it, but Maggie’s voice is softer, now, more breakable, now, more vulnerable, now, than it had been when they’d been on the phone. When Maggie had been on a search-and-give-water-to-the-drunk-girl mission.

But now that she’s arrived, water bottle she must have grabbed on the way out of her dorm in hand, her voice is shy, and her eyes are shy, and her eyes are something that look a little scared.

“Hi Maggie,” Alex whispers, and then giggles because she’s not sure why she’s whispering.

Maggie grins, and it’s the sweetest sight Alex has ever seen. She made Maggie Sawyer smile.

“Why did you come all the way here? You didn’t have to come all the way here, I – ”

“Well, clearly your sister doesn’t know what you’re up to or how drunk you are, because if she did I would have heard her in the background telling you to think before you dial and all that stuff.”

Alex covers her face with hands made clumsy by alcohol.

“Ugh, I’m sorry, you’re right, I shouldn’t have – I ruined your night, I embarrassed myself, I’m sorry, Maggie, I – ”

“Hey, hey, no, that’s not what I meant.” Maggie gets up from her crouch to sit on the couch next to Alex, and she opens the water bottle for her and presses it gently into her hands.

“Drink. Please?”

“I’m not that drunk.”

Maggie just nods, and Alex does as she’s told.

She finishes the entire bottle in one chug, and Maggie just watches her with cautious but glistening eyes.

“Okay, come on. Kara!” she calls across the room, and Kara seems to materialize next to them instantly.

“Maggie! I thought you weren’t in the mood to party toni – Alex? Are you okay? What – ”

“Here. Your phone.”

“How did you – ”

“Tell you in the morning. Right now, I’m gonna take your sister back to my room – no funny business, I promise – and help her sober up a little. Okay?”

Kara glances between Maggie’s disheveled appearance and Alex’s drunken one, and she kisses Alex’s cheek.

“Don’t give her a hard time, okay, Alex?” she teases, and Alex giggles as she stands unsteadily, both Kara and Maggie stabilizing her.

“When do I give anyone a hard time?”

Kara just kisses her again, just thanks Maggie, doesn’t object to their arrangement, because she trusts Maggie not to take advantage of her sister, and she knows that her sister would like nothing more than to get to know Maggie better. She just wishes she’d have had the courage to reach out sober. But they’ll work on that. The three of them.

Alex leans on Maggie, who’s wrapped her arm around Alex’s waist, and revels in the contact.

As they walk, she rambles about the chemical structure of alcohol. About its impacts on the brain. Maggie listens and Maggie smiles and Maggie nods in all the right places, and Maggie lets her talk, lets her talk, because she’s focused on making sure she doesn’t let the taller girl stumble and fall.

When Maggie shoves her dorm door open, Alex freezes.

“You know I’ve wanted this since like, the first time I saw you. For you to take me back to your room. To…” Her eyes flit down to Maggie’s lips.

“To kiss you.”

Maggie gulps and slips away from her, taking care to keep her hands on Alex’s arms to help her stabilize.

“Go pee.”

“What?”

“You’re this drunk? You for sure need to pee. Bathroom’s right there. Can you make it on your own?”

Alex nods with tears in her eyes, and Maggie hates herself a little bit, but she’d hate herself a lot more if she let this conversation continue.

The bathroom door shuts and the water flushes and the sink runs for a long, long, long moment.

When Alex stumbles out, it’s with confusion and the shadows of hurt in her eyes.

“Did I do something wrong? I don’t have to stay here, you didn’t have to – I just thought – you ran to… to rescue me, and you gave me water, and you took me home, and I thought that meant you like me as much as I like you, and I –

"Alex. Alex, Alex, look… We can talk about all this when you’re sober. If you still want to talk about it. I promise. But right now? Right now, we can talk biology. Or astrophysics, or about the dessication and revival of tardigrades, whatever you want. Just not us. Not now. And certainly no kissing. Okay?”

Alex slumps down onto Maggie’s bed without asking, and Maggie just grins and kneels to help take Alex’s boots off.

“Why not?”

“Because you’re drunk, Danvers,” Maggie giggles like it’s the most obvious thing in the world.

“It’s never mattered to any guy,” Alex almost whispers, and Maggie stiffens, and her nostrils flare, and her eyes are more serious, more full of rage, than Alex has ever seen them.

“Well, it matters to me. Okay? Come on.”

She helps Alex swing her legs up onto the bed, holds her up to take in one more glass of water, hastily poured, and she kicks off her flip flops and grabs a pillow from the other side of her bed.

“You’re not gonna come to bed?”

“The floor’s perfectly fine for me, Danvers.”

“But – ”

“When you’re sober. If you still want to. I promise, Alex. Okay?”

“You promise?”

“Yeah, Danvers. Yeah. I promise.”

But Alex is asleep, a small smile on her face, before Maggie even finishes her promise. Her promise to her best friend’s big sister, who she’s been trying to gather the courage to ask out for months now.

She snuggles down onto the floor and – eventually – falls asleep with a smile on her own face, too.

Business and Pleasure - Part 10

Summary:  Bucky AU. After a major deal falls through, your father’s business almost falls apart. In a desperate attempt to save his livelihood, he seeks the help of his oldest friend, George Barnes, who happens to be the CEO of one of the most influential businesses in New York. He agrees, but on one condition. You have to marry his son.

Word Count: 2,201

Warnings: Swearing


Originally posted by little--batman


The two of you had fallen into silence, both seemingly lost in thought. The appetizers were delicious, but you couldn’t do more than pick at them. You were too distracted by your thoughts to focus on eating.

So much had happened in so little time. Sure, it seemed like you had your best friend back, but who knew how long that would last. He seemed sincere earlier, but there was no way to guarantee that the two of you wouldn’t get into another stupid argument and find yourselves right back where you started.

Keep reading

we know the game

on Ao3

nothing like some good old fashioned nonsense

this is basically crack. right well, i should stop writing after 11pm

enjoy~


Marinette has a few rules when it comes to her partner.

  1. Don’t let him take patrols on his own. He’ll fall asleep on a random rooftop somewhere because he likes to stay out until the break of dawn, watching over the city as it sleeps.
  2. If he calls after midnight, always answer.
  3. Don’t trust him with gifts. He always goes unnecessarily over the top and spends far too much money for her (or anyone else) to be comfortable with it.
  4. Don’t put him in charge of food. For the same reason as the gifts, but also because he’ll eat half the food before she shows up.
  5. Don’t smile at him too much in class. Alya is getting suspicious.

But it turns out that Marinette has to add a new rule to the list:

  • Don’t let Alya and Nino plan anything for the four of them.

—«·»—

“Are you sure you can’t come?” Marinette asks, pacing back and forth as Tikki watches her burn circles in the floor from the desk..

I really can’t,” Alya apologizes over the phone. “We can’t find a sitter this last minute and there’s no way my mom is letting Ella and Etta stay home alone.

“Could you bring them?” Marinette tries. “Because I can just bring more food and—”

Marinette,” Alya interrupts gently. “With this last week of akumas, I don’t think my mom wants even us going to school. A park without adult supervision? No way.

Marinette chews on her bottom lip and resists the urge to ask ‘what about superhero supervision?’ Instead, she asks, “Are you sure?”

Positive.” Alya sighs. “I’m sorry, I really wish I could come. But you’ll be with Nino and Adrien, you’ll still have a fun time without me there.”

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✧ ( 13RW SENTENCE STARTERS.

warning: triggers apply. mentions of suicide and rape present. read and reblog with caution.

❛ And this time, absolutely no requests. ❜
❛ No return engagements. No encore. ❜
❛ I hope you’re ready, because I’m about to tell you the story of my life.  ❜
❛ And if you’re listening to these tapes, you’re one of the reasons why. ❜
❛ I’ve heard so many stories I don’t know which one is the most popular.  ❜
❛ Betrayal. It’s one of the worst feelings.  ❜
❛ Where’s my bike? ❜
❛ This was in front of the library? ❜
❛ What about the student honor board? ❜
❛ There’s some justice and some closure. ❜
❛ I couldn’t watch. ❜
❛ People can be fucking assholes. ❜
❛ I thought we had like another week for that. ❜
❛ Listen, I could, if you wanted to, I could help you finish the paper. ❜
❛ We only have like twenty minutes before the first bell rings. ❜
❛ I Googled everything. ❜
❛ Well the founding father’s did grow and use hemp, but it wasn’t weed exactly. ❜
❛ Sometimes books are more reliable for this kind of stuff. ❜
❛ Everything I publish is personal to people. ❜
❛ Still, it feels wrong. I’m just being honest. ❜
❛ What are you working on? ❜
❛ This is so cool. I’ve always wanted to set you up with someone. ❜
❛ Maybe I was stupid to keep hoping. ❜
❛ That is shocking. I’m shocked. ❜
❛ Wait a second, how do I know you’re telling the truth. ❜
❛ Come on, what do you say? ❜
❛ Then again, they almost always do. ❜
❛ Did you want to see if the rumors were true? ❜
❛ Why did you do it? ❜
❛ Thanks for helping me, that was really nice. ❜
❛ I’m just saying if you’re getting fat shamed then don’t be fat. ❜
❛ It’s always best to give compliments face to face. ❜
❛ Sometimes the silly things can mean more than anybody knows. ❜
❛ It’s kind of soul crushing, you know? ❜
❛ We all need it. Human contact. ❜
❛ You’re going to have to wait, just like I did. ❜
❛ Let me know if you need to talk, anytime. ❜
❛ I’m going to play mind games with you, just like you did with me. ❜
❛ That’s a whole new level of lonely. ❜
❛ You were kind that night. You just sat there. ❜
❛ I’m sorry about _____. He’s/she’s just a dick. ❜
❛ Want to see a trick? ❜
❛ You got to get the positioning just right. ❜
❛ After the way you played in Saturday, it’s on me. ❜
❛ Take it easy, okay? You’ll feel better tomorrow. ❜
❛ I wonder if you ever felt what it’s like to be lonely. ❜
❛ Have you ever noticed us? ❜
❛ How many of these did daddy make you? ❜
❛ It’s okay. I’m over it. ❜
❛ I never got the chance to say something. ❜
❛ The thing is you were the Valentine I was hoping for. ❜
❛ I don’t know if you’re doing this on a dare or whatever… ❜
❛ I like you for so much more than that. ❜
❛ The fact that you don’t even know. ❜
❛ This shit that happens to you, I think some of it you bring on yourself. ❜
❛ Thanks for the insight genius. ❜
❛ You said something stupid and I yelled at you. Big deal. ❜
❛ You didn’t like that someone told you no. ❜
❛ You should of just let it go but you didn’t. ❜
❛ I just needed to be alone. ❜
❛ You’ll do anything to keep up your perfect reputation. ❜
❛ I’m a fucking weak, pathetic loser. ❜
❛ They’ll just laugh at you like they always do. ❜
❛ Come out, come out, little girl/boy. ❜
❛ We’re protecting ourselves. ❜
❛ I’ve got no plans. I’m good to tell the truth. ❜
❛ It’s only a matter of time before we’re all screwed. ❜
❛ Nothing we did compares to what he/she did. ❜
❛ You’ve been doing it for weeks now. ❜
❛ My God, _______, you should fucking listen to yourself sometimes. ❜
❛ You want to know what’s worse then being a rapist? Hiding behind one. ❜
❛ You want to get the story straight? We all know the story. ❜
❛ The honor board, because you are all so honorable. ❜
❛ This happened off campus so the only alternative is the police. ❜
❛ It was no ones fault. It just happened. ❜
❛ I mean, maybe I was driving a little too fast. ❜
❛ I’m taking some fucking responsibility. ❜
❛ Maybe it’s all your faults, has that ever occurred to any of you? ❜
❛ Who’s going to believe a dead girl/boy? ❜
❛ You know my motto, no cheerleader left behind. ❜
❛ I’m always looking for the wrong person. ❜
❛ I thought you said you didn’t do it? ❜
❛ I’m telling you, the worst is yet to come. ❜
❛ You’re calling me a pussy, after what you did or didn’t do. ❜
❛ Oh, so, if I kill myself then I kill you guys too? ❜
❛ Why are you asking me about this? ❜
❛ I don’t know what your truth is. ❜
❛ Get your dirty ass feet off my notebook man. ❜
❛ Do you want to talk in there? ❜
❛ Maybe there’s even a message from beyond. ❜
❛ At that moment, everything was perfect. ❜
❛ I know you felt it too. ❜
❛ I wanted you to do everything you were doing. ❜
❛ What happened? I thought it was okay. ❜
❛ Just leave me alone, you should just go. ❜
❛ Part of me never wanted to see you again. ❜
❛ You walked out the door like I told you too, why’d you have to leave? ❜
❛ Your name does not belong on the list. But you need to be here. ❜
❛ I didn’t deserve to be with someone like you. ❜
❛ I would ruin you. It wasn’t you, it was me. ❜
❛ There’s that word again. ❜
❛ The kind of lonely feeling I’m talking about is when you feel like you’ve got nothing left. ❜

Second Chances (James Conrad)

Pairing: James Conrad x OC

Warning: Little, tiny bit of violence. And giant bugs. Lol.

Originally posted by enchantedbyhiddles


I couldn’t relax. Couldn’t close my eyes without seeing it all over again. 

Choppers being tossed from the sky, like tiny toys. Flames licking away at molten metal. Bodies falling from midair. And those eyes. Those huge, yellow eyes. I squeezed my own eyes shut, desperate to make those horrible mental images vanish. Though the second I tried to think of something else, anything else, my mind wandered back to him.

To James Conrad.

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