i showed my new flatmates B.A.P for the first time and obviously I chose One Shot and when Youngjae got shot in the first half without even sparing a moment he just said “man, that’s like a major fuck-you” and I’ve not stopped laughing
Not giving up has always been hard,
But if I do the things the easy way I won’t get far.
Hmm, life hasn’t been very kind to me lately,
But I suppose it’s a push for moving on,
In time the sun’s gonna shine on me nicely,
One day yeah, Something tells me good things are coming and I ain’t gonna not believe.
#80: “How can you think I’m anything but hopelessly in love with you?”
Being in love with your best friend is hard. Being in love with your best friend while he’s in love with someone else is even harder.
They’d only been together for six months but I could tell by the way he looked at her that he was absolutely in love with her. It was sickening. They were taking selfies on the couch and I couldn’t tear my eyes away. The way he would laugh with her between pictures was enough to drive me insane.
“Why do you torture yourself?” I was brought from my thoughts by a blue eyed Irishman. Niall was always on my case about the feelings I hid from Harry and everyone else for that matter.
“I don’t know what you’re talking about.” I got up from my spot at the island and turned to walk further into the kitchen. I stopped at the sink and filled up my glass. Niall followed me.
“You can’t pretend with me. I know you like Harry.” He wasn’t even trying to keep his voice down.
“Niall, keep your voice down before someone hears you.” A smirk quickly appeared.
“So you do like him!” He whispered and I could feel myself blushing. “I knew it. We all knew it.” I froze at his words.
“What do you mean you all knew it?”
“Louis, Liam, and I knew it. We’ve known it for some time but they didn’t want to say anything. I just couldn’t watch you torture yourself anymore.” I sighed and looked away from him.
“Do you think Harry knows?” I looked over at him and he stayed silent for a moment.
“Do you want me to be honest?” I nodded. “I honestly think he does. I think he just doesn’t want to go there with you. He doesn’t want to lose you.” I knew what that meant, ‘move on Y/N, he’ll never love you’.
“I just wish I didn’t have to feel these things. Why on Earth did I have to fall in love with-“ Just then, Harry entered the room. My wide eyes met his and he looked interested.
“Who are you in love with?” I scrambled to find words but I couldn’t.
“No one.” He narrowed his eyes at me and then looked at Niall.
“Why can’t you tell me? Are you afraid I’ll go have a talk with him to make sure he treats my girl right?” My stomach tightened at him calling me his girl and I looked at Niall pleadingly. Niall must have misunderstood what I was asking for because he decided to speak up.
“She’s in love with me.” I choked on my spit and grabbed his arm. Harry looked from Niall to me and then back to Niall.
“What?” Niall nodded his head and looked over to me. He winked and I shook my head. I couldn’t form words seeing as how I was still coughing. “Well I don’t guess I have to have a talk with you then. You’ll treat her right.” Niall smiled and nodded his head again. Harry looked over at me for a second before walking out of the kitchen. I finally stopped coughing long enough to slap Niall on the arm.
“What the hell, Horan?”
“What? You looked like you needed help. That’s the first thing that popped into my head!”
“But now he thinks I’m in love with you!”
“Maybe this will be good! Maybe he’ll get jealous and realize he loves you, too.” I stared at him for a minute and then sighed.
“Fine.” He tried to high-five me and I sighed. “It’ll be so weird, though. Before he started dating her, Harry was the only one I held hands with or anything like that. I mean I know we only did that as friends but it’ll still feel weird holding someone else’s hand.” Niall rolled his eyes.
“Enough about Harry, I’m your new man now.” He puffed out his chest and caused me to laugh. Maybe it wouldn’t be too bad fake dating Niall.
I sat back down on the couch and this weird feeling spread throughout my body along with confusion. Why didn’t she ever tell me she was in love with Niall? I didn’t understand why she would keep something like that from me. And what about all those times we held hands and cuddled? Was that just a way to make Niall jealous? I was brought from my thoughts when Jenna, my “girlfriend”, laid her head in my lap. No one knew that Jenna was a PR stunt. I wasn’t allowed to tell anyone. I couldn’t even tell the boys. I hated this part of fame. I was always being made to do things like this. It took away my time from the boys and it took away my time from Y/N. I don’t guess I have to worry about that much anymore. She has Niall now. The feeling in my chest at that thought made me sick and to be honest, I knew why.
It was easy to pretend to be in love with Niall. We basically just acted normal but we held hands a lot. It made it easier to cope with the fact that Harry was in love with someone else. Part of me knew that this was just a temporary fix to the actual problem but it was a distraction that Niall and I both knew I needed.
When we told Liam and Louis about the situation, they were immediately angry. We understood. What Niall and I were doing was completely stupid but it was helping me and that’s all I cared about.
We were having a movie night. Harry invited Jenna over and it didn’t bother me as much as I thought it should. Okay, that’s a lie. It still bothered me a lot. Luckily, I had Niall. He was a good cuddler. He and I were on the love seat and Harry and Jenna were on the couch opposite us. Niall kept whispering the lines from the movie into my ear in an accent that wasn’t his and I kept giggling. I noticed Harry look at us from out of the corner of my eye. It made me feel weird. After about ten more minutes, I heard him huff. I looked over as he untangled himself from Jenna.
“Anyone want some popcorn?” Niall’s hand shot up and I laughed at him. Liam and Louis raised their hands, too. “Y/N, why don’t you come help me?” Niall pouted and whined and I placed a kiss to his cheek before untangling myself from him. Once in the kitchen, I got the popcorn out of the cabinet and turned to look at Harry. He was leaned against the counter staring at me. I immediately felt self-conscious.
“Why are you staring at me like that?”
“I don’t understand why you didn’t tell me you were in love with him. We’re best friends.” I sat the popcorn down on the counter and folded my arms over my chest.
“You didn’t tell me you had a crush on Jenna, either.” He closed his eyes and I could tell he was fighting an internal battle.
“I don’t have a crush on Jenna.” I rolled my eyes.
“Right. You’re ‘in love’ with her.” He rolled his eyes and huffed again.
“No, Y/N, I’m not.” I was about to ask what that meant but Louis’ voice rang from the living room.
“Hurry up!” Harry seemed annoyed.
“Give us a minute!” He turned his attention back to me.
“What does that mean, Harry? She’s your girlfriend.”
“No, she isn’t.” I was getting annoyed.
“Harry, what the fuck are you playing at?”
“She’s a stunt. It’s all for publicity. It means absolutely nothing.”
“What?” He just shook his head. “Why are you telling me this?”
“I just thought you should know just in case…” Is he saying what I think he’s saying? I remained silent. My head and heart were going a million miles an hour. I was stuck between telling him about me and Niall or continuing on with it. In the end, I knew I had to tell him. He told me his secret so I had to tell him mine.
“Niall and I are fake.” He seemed surprised.
“You guys are a publicity stunt?”
“Not so much as publicity.”
“Why are you doing it?” It was now or never. I had to tell him.
“Harry, I need you to promise me that no matter what I tell you right now, nothing will change between us.”
“Of course, I promise.”
“It was you.” He looked confused.
“What was me?”
“When you came in the kitchen that day and you heard me say I was in love with someone, I was talking about you. Niall just took control of that situation.” His eyes got big and he looked away from my face to the floor. “I just couldn’t stand seeing you be so in love with Jenna. Niall took that pain away. I mean, we were us, Harry and then we weren’t anymore. I missed being us so much. I missed holding your hand and being your cuddle buddy. I missed at least pretending you were in love with me, too.” At that, he was right in front of me; his hands on either side of my face.
“How can you think I’m anything but hopelessly in love with you?” I couldn’t move. I couldn’t breathe.
“What did you say?” Harry smiled a small smile and his eyes wondered to my lips. I could feel the butterflies take flight in my stomach and my heart was about to pound out of my chest. He looked back into my eyes.
“I said, I’m in love with you.” I smiled and let out a small laugh.
“Really?” He smiled even bigger and nodded his head. We stayed face to face with one another. Neither of us moved but I wanted to. I wanted him to kiss me. “Harry?”
“Can you kiss me now?” He didn’t even answer, he just put his lips on mine. I pulled back for a minute and laughed. “Maybe we could hook Niall and Jenna up.” He smiled and kissed me again.
“I think that’s a good idea but for now, I think I should just kiss you.”
#34: “If you keep looking at me like that, we won’t make it to a bed.”
I loved award shows. It had nothing to do with seeing other celebrities or the award show itself; it was the way Liam dressed up for them. He was truly a work of art.
The entire drive to the awards was spent in silence. Liam’s thumb was drawing circles on the inside of my thigh and it was driving me crazy. When we made it to the entrance, we had to wait while the cars ahead of us let out their occupants. I couldn’t do it anymore.
“Okay, you have to stop touching me.” He looked hurt. “You in that suit is driving me insane and I want nothing more than to rip it off of you right now.” I noticed his eyes darken and I immediately felt a little hotter. Unfortunately, the door opened and we were ushered out.
“Later.” He winked at me but I still felt disappointed.
All night long, I thought of nothing but getting him out of that suit. When they won their award, Liam was playing with his buttons while Harry gave their acceptance speech and I wanted to scream at him to stop. I huffed and leaned back in my chair. Gemma looked over at me and raised her eyebrows questioningly.
“Liam in that suit is killing me, Gem.” She laughed and tried to cover it up as Liam took his seat next to me.
“What’s so funny, Gem?” She looked at me and giggled.
“Y/N was just telling me how much she loves your suit.”
“Gemma!” I felt my cheeks heat and she laughed at me. Liam took my hand and I reluctantly looked over at him. He was smiling so I allowed myself to smile, too. After the awards, we had to attend a party. My needs were becoming annoying to me.
“Don’t worry. We don’t have to stay long.” He leaned in and kissed me. He deepened the kiss and when I moaned into his mouth, he pulled back. “Not yet, baby.” He whispered against my lips.
“You’re a fucking tease.” He left me with Gemma while he and the boys talked with people around the room. My eyes never left him. Even when Gemma would ask me questions, I answered her without taking my eyes from him. At one point, his eyes met mine and I put so much feeling into my stare. I wanted him to feel what I was feeling. I finally looked away and started talking to Gemma. After twenty minutes, I felt my phone buzz. It was Liam telling me to come outside so I did. As soon as I walked out the back door, he grabbed me and pushed me against the wall.
“If you keep looking at me like that, we won’t make it to a bed.”
“I don’t need a bed.” His mouth was on mine instantly. He tasted like wine and I could feel the desire radiating off of him just as it was me. I knew where this was going and I was more than okay with it.
“Liam.” A very shocked Niall came out the back door. Liam and I let go of each other and Niall laughed. “Seriously, guys? You couldn’t wait?” I shook my head. “Fucking hell. Anyway, they need us, Liam.” I sighed and Liam kissed my temple.
“Later, baby.” We went back inside. The rest of the night dragged on but when later finally came, it was definitely worth the wait.
Finally, work was over. It had been a long day and I was ready for a nap. Unfortunately, life had other plans. On the way home, I ended up in traffic. For two whole hours I sat there. I almost fell asleep multiple times before I turned up the radio to keep me awake. Luckily, the radio was playing good tunes so I at least had some good entertainment. When a One Direction song came on, it reminded me that I needed to call Liam. I got my phone from my bag and dialed him. He didn’t answer. I called him two more times and still nothing. I decided to call Louis.
“Y/N! How lovely to hear from you. When are you visiting?” I smiled and shook my head.
“Well, I was trying to call Liam to plan that but he isn’t answering. Is he at the hotel with you?” The boys were still on tour and they’d been bugging me about a visit for months.
“I haven’t seen him this morning. Maybe he’s still asleep. I’d go check but I’m out with Niall and Harry.” I sighed and told him I’d call him back. “Okay! Can’t wait to see you.” We said goodbye and luckily, traffic started moving. Thirty minutes later, I was home. I went in and immediately headed for my room. When I opened the door, I couldn’t help but scream but it quickly turned into a laugh when Liam’s naked body jumped from my bed.
“Is there a reason you’re screaming?”
“Is there a reason you’re naked in my bed?” He looked down and surprise took over his features for just a moment before he shrugged.
“It’s not like you haven’t seen it before.” I rolled my eyes but pressed the issue.
“Can you just help me understand why you’re naked in my bed?”
“Right. Well I’m here to surprise you.”
“You succeeded.” He rolled his eyes and I gestured for him to continue.
“I was staying in a hotel down the road and had planned to be here when you got off this morning cause I know you’re night shift this week. I ended up drinking a bit and you know I don’t like wearing my clothes when I’m drinking. Anyway, I called a cab and they brought me here and I drank some more. That’s when I got naked and then I’m assuming I passed out in your bed.” I shook my head but I had to laugh.
“I’ve missed you, Liam Payne.” He smiled and looked down; remembering he was naked.
“I should probably get dressed.” He covered himself with his hands and scurried past me. I quickly changed into some sweats and a t shirt. When he came back in my room, he opened his arms to me and I practically ran into them. He sighed and held me tightly. “I’ve missed you so much.”
“I’ve missed you, too.” He pulled back and kissed my forehead.
“So what do you want to do?”
“Honestly, my plan was to nap. You’re more than welcome to join me.” He agreed so we climbed in the bed. “Your clothes are on, right?” I heard him huff and I laughed.
“Shut up and go to sleep, Y/N.” I cuddled up to his side and kissed his cheek.
“Good to have you here.”
“Happy to be here.”
A/N: I have so many prepared! I’m so excited! I hope you guys enjoyed this! Love you, all! (: xx